*seductive saxophone*

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

Squatters' rights apply to grandmas. If someone's not visiting and looking after their grandma, but you will, after a set amount of time once you've settled in, that's your grandma now.

no this is the hill YOU die on. because i’m gonna kill you for disagreeing with me

‘how would other people describe you’ why would i know this

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

there is no discourse between gen z and millenials. we are siblings. come on lil bro, ill take you to amc. yeah we can go there early and play the arcade games before the movie starts.

Can we get popcorn and a drink to share :)

we sure can buddy, we sure can

hey. you have to love your trans brothers of color okay. and your trans sisters of color. and your nonbinary siblings of color. you have to okay. its simply non-optional

they should invent a secret second weekend so that you can see friends and do fun things while still having enough time to do errands and sleep in without dying of exhaustion all the time

imo one of the funniest genres of dude is the ones who post shit on social media like "in 2024 I don't have time for fake friends" "so many people trying to betray you and stab you in the back, can't trust anyone but yourself" "I got a lot of enemies, a lot of people praying on my downfall" and then they work at like the mall or something like bro what kind of life are you leading there cannot be that many people out to get you

upon further reflection the type of guy I was trying to describe here is just drake fans

I’m so pro abortion I feel insane hearing any other take on it

Even lefties I know will eventually concede to some situation where they think it’s right to force someone to carry a child against their will as if that’s not one of the most inhumane and cruel situations to put someone in regardless of any other factors

we used to have normalized whump. remember what they took from you....

back in the day you could write about the most sickeningly vile atrocious war crimes happening to your blorbo and everyone was like. kyaaaaaaaa >w<. they just got it. they understood

What the fuck is whump

Don't worry about it kitten

so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

toger we can achieve anything

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post