hope

Please stay

Gay asf to be a dentist. Why you wanna drill another man??? Why you wanna make him scream? Why you wanna put your hands in his mouth? Anyway I’m here to shoot you because you’re mistreating your girlfriend who Im in love with and I need fresh human blood to feed my gaint talking plant from outer space

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins

if supernatural was a good show then it would have an episode where the brothers look into creepypasta & start searching up internet lore and then they go kill jeff the killer or something

the summer i tommed petty

Any time you feel like you’re behind (especially if you’re in your 20s, but this applies to literally anyone) just look yourself in the mirror and be like “boo hoo you didn’t peak when u were 17. So sad. Whatever shall u do” and I promise u will instantly feel so silly for ever worrying about it