lloyd

printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them

i don’t understand how anything works i just walk through life terrified

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

does singing in the shower count as art

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

does writing fanfiction count as art

don't make me say the mummy thing again

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing

Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression

the horse is so fuckable

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

Things to say when you arent an evil empire

"how could our empire collapse when we've overextended it so much? checkmate commies"

americans are so propagandized to believe capitalism IS america and only america can do it best. its synonymous with national pride. its so fucking sad.

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

"theyfab" "theymab" how about I theystab you in the theychest

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

he's gonna die one day soon and it wont fix everything but it'll feel great and the whole world is gonna fucking party together