phasers set to STUNNING

"this is what ive BEEN saying" - me about a thought that 99% only exists in my brain and i maybe mentioned briefly in one tag once

"i don't think i've mentioned this but" - me about something i have said 847620938 times before

I love emoji reactions so much. Don't know what to say but don't want to ignore whoever texted you? Boom. Lizard reaction 🦎

accidentally searched “is parmesan fond of me” because I was thinking about my friends at the same time as grocery shopping. now I need to know. is parmesan fond of me. how would parmesan rate my grating technique

there's not a single casual bone in my body. everything means something to me

WHIMSY IS NON-NEGOTIATABLE

they don't have a problem with showering together at the locker room actually because they don't need to hide or rush or use it as an excuse for sex. shower sex was never really about the shower it was just so shane could moan as loud as he wanted in hotels without people in the other room hearing. now they actually use the shower to debrief and gossip and just talk about the game they played and strategies. the problem actually is both of them losing track of time because they’ll just stand there sharing the shower and chatting like they’re at home and then shower together again at home and talk about all the things they couldn’t in the locker room. it doesn’t mean they don’t have sex shower anymore, it’s just they can have sex in more comfortable places and showering together is now bonding time

The morning after their wedding (after they’ve fucked slow and hot and messy, gripping each other tight, holding close, kissing till their jaws ache) they are downstairs in the kitchen at the cottage and the windows are all open and Ilya has music playing through the speakers in their home and Shane is making pancakes !!! And they have cream and strawberries and maple syrup to have with them and Ilya is wrapped around Shane’s back as Shane mixes the batter and then he suddenly gaps like SHANE and Shane is like huh what? Turning his head back to try and look at Ilya but then he’s being lifted and “Ilya stop being an asshole I’m hungry” as Shane is getting put over Ilya’s shoulder and Ilya is walking them out the front door. Shane is pinching at Ilya’s hips and back and squeaking at Ilya that they are just in their boxers and Ilya is like shut up sweetheart 🥰 he manoeuvres Shane into his arms, a proper cradle carry, and he ducks his head down to kiss him hard to shut him up. Then he pulls back and whispers “be nice okay? No more bitching, let me have this yes?” And it makes Shane laugh and roll his eyes and he’s like okay fine what? And then he realises when Ilya wriggles his eyebrows at him and walks them across the threshold. “See I must carry my wife in. Is tradition or my wife and I will have very back luck or bad sex I don’t actually know what is curse if I do not but I don’t want either of those so-“ and they are halfway back to the kitchen and then Shane is wriggling in Ilya’s arms, making it hard to hold him grumbling about how he’s not his fucking wife and Ilya stumbles a little because Shane is purposefully making it impossible to carry him and they end up against a wall and Shane is like 😠 I’m not your wife and we will not have bad sex and Ilya is like yes I know you’re my very sexy husband and we will not have bad sex because I did the right thing so no curse and he’s shrugging and smirking and Shane is like oh my god and shoving his fingers into his side and then they are scrapping and then they have to fuck on the floor about it, being husbands, being in their home, about no curse. Then pancakes.

reblog to tell your mutual you’re proud of them and it’ll all work out

“they’re just looking at each other” you could not begin to understand the complexities involved in looking at each other