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I would like for us to consider the way Shane probably crashes hard after each season.
I was that student in school who went overboard every semester. I’m talking color-coded notes, binders on binders of prep for exams, overly prepared for every contingency on the final. I earned my A’s, damnit. So when that last exam was done, the grades were in, and I could relax? Baby, I was down and out for at least a few days. Don’t call me or beep me if you wanna reach me. My phone is off. My leg’s half off the bed. My bonnet done came off—it’s halfway across the room. My mom has to wake me up to drink some water. I barely speak English. Huh? What? No sé. Je ne sais pas. I can’t do the words right now.
Whether the Cup is won or not, the end of the season is Shane’s equivalent of that last final exam. The months-long adrenaline rush is over. Pencils down, hit “submit,” you’re out of time. Shane’s always aiming for the A+ but time’s up, regardless of the grade. He can rest. He needs to rest.
Every year, Shane powers through an hour of his team’s post-season celebration before his eyelids start to droop. The physical, mental, social, and emotional pressures of the year have evaporated in an instant and fuck, how long has he been this exhausted? He goes back to his hotel room, gets a quick nap in, then makes his way to his parents’ place.
That’s when his strings get cut and he just drops.
The moment he’s through the door, he hugs his dad, kisses his mom on the cheek, then heads straight for his childhood bedroom and faceplants into familiar navy blue sheets. He’s out like a light before he hits the pillow. Yuna waits 5 minutes before she comes in to gently take his shoes off, plug his phone in on the dresser, and pull the blankets up to his chin. She tousles his hair and smiles at the way he nuzzles into her hand before she pulls away.
Shane’s dead to the world until dinner. He stumbles out of his room with one sock on, one arm out of his shirt, and eyes half unfocused. Nobody says anything; it’s pointless. Shane’s lost all ability to speak coherently. Any attempts at conversation will be met with gibberish. He’s physically exhausted and mentally fried. Cannot people right now. Try again later, please and thank you.
He allows David to guide him to the table and plops into his seat, blinking owlishly as Yuna sets a plate in front of him. He has to eat with his chin propped up on one hand, to avoid faceplanting into hot food. He can and has fallen asleep in his dinner before without so much as flinching.
David unapologetically takes advantage of the situation every year by making a carb-heavy dish. It’s usually pasta. He knows Yuna will back him up and give Shane seconds. And instead of arguing or making a face, Shane will eat every bite. He’s on autopilot and simply fulfilling basic bodily functions to address hungry-tired-thirsty-sleepy-feed me-take care of me as efficiently as possible.
After he clears his plate (at least twice), Shane smacks his lips and cringes. Good God, his mouth tastes like lasagna and death. Has he brushed his teeth today? He wordlessly makes his way to the bathroom and finds everything set up for a quick routine. Brush, pee, shower, brush again because he forgot he already did. If he has a quick cry, muffled by the shower, nobody says anything. Nothing’s wrong, but the emotional release is very much needed. Retainer in, stare at reflection in mirror for a bit, and right back to bed.
David comes in around midnight to leave a glass of water on the nightstand. He takes his turn to ruffle Shane’s hair and laughs softly at the muffled nonsense he gets in return. Realistically, Shane’s training unicorns to ballroom dance in his dreams and murmuring about their godawful adherence to accepted waltz standards with half the blanket in his mouth. David chooses to take that as “love you, Dad, thank you for tolerating me in my zombie state.”
When Shane wakes up the next afternoon, he accepts a cup of coffee, then looks blearily up at Yuna and utters the first words he’s consciously strung together since arriving the morning before. Usually, Yuna and David take bets on whether it’ll actually make sense. Last year it was: “Why is…cookies and cheese?” The year before was “I have no idea where dogs lie in keyboards for boats.” He always looks at them in confusion when they don’t answer, then chugs the rest of his coffee before putting his head down and napping a bit more.
This year, with Ilya still asleep in the navy blue sheets down the hall, dead to the world and snoring like a freight train, Shane comes up with something different.
“We have…tea for Ilya?”
David blinks. That’s…surprisingly coherent. Also, tea?
“Um,” Yuna responds. “We have green tea.”
“Mmm…no,” Shane yawns, jaw clicking as his mouth opens as wide as possible. “No caffeine in off-season. He gets…mm. No.”
None of them have noticed that the snoring’s stopped. As if on cue, Ilya stumbles into the kitchen—curls flat on one side of his head, eyes barely open, and creases from the sheets imprinted on his face and chest. His sweatpants are on backwards, but it’s highly unlikely he notices.
Yuna and David have a silent conversation as Ilya plops himself into Shane’s lap, grabs his coffee, takes a sip, and makes a face like someone just insulted his mother. He whines pitifully and flops back into Shane, who buries his face in Ilya’s neck and promptly falls asleep again.
“This is too cute,” David says with his eyes. “They’re like drunk toddlers.”
Yuna nods jerkily toward the table at their cell phones. “Take a picture, take a picture!”
The Department of Fisheries in Hyderabad, India, is shaped like a fish.
POV: You finally found the skirt that has everything. Soft. Stretchy. Huge pockets. And a design that's impossible to ignore. Shop here: https://store.mayakern.com/collections/skirts/products/hands-red-midi-skirt
Billie Holiday

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🎉Three years ago, the second season was released. ❤️I've only been here for three years because of It.
Happy release anniversary!
The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now
Her name is Shaniah and I think of this tweet at least weekly
Never eaten there, never will. Have been peer pressured to eat there, and called ungodly for refusing to do so.
2026 is the roughest year my small clothing store has had… maybe ever.
i don’t want to go into the nitty gritty of it all or try to dissect all the many things that have gone wrong because i’ve already done that and no amount of missteps that i’ve personally made rival the Big Reason We All Know: i’m an indie artist and designer that is dedicated to creating size inclusive, ethically made clothing in a world that seems determined to make that impossible for someone who is not already independently wealthy.
i haven’t talked about this publicly until now, but this year devin and i had to take substantial pay cuts just to keep the business running. we even skipped a few paychecks and seriously cut into our savings to make sure the business survived, and it’s still a struggle.
money is tight for everyone (me included) and the online attention economy is the worst it’s ever been—and for a small business that relies almost entirely on internet word-of-mouth to makes sales and pay the bills, that is a disastrous combination.
i’ve honestly reached a point where i feel bad even trying to post about my store because of how bad things are. it feels wrong to try to sell non-essential items in a world that is so hard. even if i love and believe in them. even if i know they are a net positive in the world.
everyone deserves clothing that makes them look and feel good, and that was made to last by people who were properly compensated to make it, regardless of their size. that is my core ethos running this store, and that’s what keeps me going. because i love and believe in what i do, even when it’s a struggle.
it feels silly, sometimes, to have so many big feelings about clothing—but i guess it’s normal to care about something that has made up the majority of your life for an entire decade.
i don’t really know where i’m going with this. a more astute sales person would probably include some photos of their wares at the end with a call to action and a link to their store, but right now even thinking about doing that here makes me feel gross.
i guess during a time when i feel so pressured to Get Over My Feelings and be a salesperson i want at least one moment that is just for my feelings.
I love your clothing. I love your art. I appreciate all the care and work you've put into this. Thank you for everything you've done to keep things going. This is probably going to sound odd from essentially a total stranger, but I'm proud of all the hard decisions you've made and how you've kept pushing through it all. I'm proud of you for still being creative through it all. I recommend you all the time and I hope things get easier for you soon.
thank you, this is so incredibly sweet 😭
hello im maya and im making a new pinned post to be your one stop shop introduction to me/my work!!
im a fat, queer artist and author best known for my size inclusive skirts with huge pockets, and other apparel.
as well as my my queer polyamorous fantasy/romance novel, spitfire, which i recently reworked with my editor. the original/“legacy” version is still available as a self published book on amazon, but once the final touches are complete i’ll be self publishing it again using different means.
and my various illustrations/drawings
important tags/links:
all store related posts are tagged #store
all my art is tagged #maya draws things
you can find product updates/info on the store blog
dog pics are in #dog pics
i also have a #FAQ tag for frequently asked questions, as well as FAQs on both my store and my portfolio site
you can find a compendium of (almost) every skirt i’ve ever sold here
links to my other socials as well as some other important places can be found here
other places you might know me from include:
that one webcomic, monster pop!
the cute underwear comic
the squiddle song and haunted, which were feature on homestuck colours & mayhem and welcome to nightvale respectively
I feel So Cringe whenever I express interest in anything You guys can shoot me if you want idk
Honey, I am half way through my time here on Earth. Please listen, enthusiasm will get you through, joy will be fleeting at times, and sometimes your only happiness will be some niche little activity/show/book. No one who wants to kill your joy, steal your happiness, or curb your enthusiasm has your best interests at heart. Therefore should not hold a significant place in your heart or mind. Have fun. Squeal in delight. Wear funny costumes. Sing silly songs. Enjoy your life, you have only one, and do not live at a lower volume, a faded hue, or within a box constructed by others

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it sucks that the overwhelming majority of medical messaging around salt/sodium is "evil poisonous substance that you're definitely already eating way too much of," because like. you do still need it. (trust me, as a POTS-haver, I've had to completely rewire my own brain about salt.) and you need more salt when the entire northern hemisphere is hot enough to fry an egg on. ever tried sucking down the recommended 64oz of hydration per day entirely as water, only to find you're peeing constantly without any of the purported benefits of being "hydrated"? assuming you don't have another medical condition that causes frequent urination, your body probably needed more salt/electrolytes to be able to hold onto that water and make use of it. if there was ever a time to keep a sports drink/pedialyte/etc within constant reach, it's when the heat index is 110°F/43°C.
Oi! Just a reminder that not having enough salt will put you in an altered state> like a danger to yourself and others altered state.
I feel like simply calling JK Rowling a transphobe isn't strong enough anymore. Like. This is not your grandpa calling you by your deadname at a restaurant kind of transphobic. This is her wanting to eradicate all trans people (with an extra special hatred towards trans women specifically). This is her trying just that by personally funding transphobic hate groups with millions to push around laws in the UK. It is not hyperbolic to call her a dangerous, genocidal maniac.
It's not about cancelling a problematic writer. It's about literally trying to save lives by denying her as much money and power as possible.
I like to call her anti-humanitarian. It’s broad and covers most of her moral failings and lack of character.
Tumblr Book Club - next book
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon
Thud! - Terry Pratchett
Legends and Lattes - Travis Baldree
The Other Bennet Sister - Janice Hadlow
Fingersmith - Sarah Waters
Zoom meeting: Saturday 15/08/2026, 7pm GMT. The winning book will be the subject of the meeting. Reading cover-to-cover is not essential; if you just want to hang out and listen to everyone chat, that's fine too :)
“You don’t have to have it all figured out at 21, or 30, or even 40. You’ll bloom when you’re ready. The only thing that matters is never giving up.”
— Aaron Mahnke
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
Fun fact: when I was learning to speak my mother did not do baby talk to me. This lead to making me “sound creepy” to other adults. I did not have a boo-boo. I had a laceration. I did not want my baba, I would like my bottle. Please.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Fallen's Graphic Novel Kickstarter will be starting next Saturday (July 25th)!!! 💖🤯✨️ Sign up for campaign launch notifications through the link in my bio!! 💖📚✨️
Do you want a PHYSICAL 198 page book of my GO fan comic, Fallen, a book exclusive print, a Fallen keychain, and even a digital copy?? Then I need your help starting July 25th to make this graphic novel a reality, my darlings!! 💖🫂✨️
I will be opening up a Kickstarter to fund the printing of my longest comic yet! The campaign will run for 30 days, and if we can reach the goal all backers will receive Fallen books! 💖🤩✨️ Keep your eyes peeled for updates!
When I suggest people go to the doctor for something a lot of them seem to assume I don’t know what it’s like to have doctors that don’t listen to you. Yeah I do actually. I still think you should go to the doctor.
You will not believe the number of students I have who are gobsmacked that college tuition comes with free healthcare (mental and physical) in my state. Some literally choose a 4 year just to get medical.