Brute

@giftober 2024 + @mcuchallenge prompt Day 16: Lights.

it’s like people aren’t willing to accept that there are women who really really like pussy and only pussy and half of the pleasure and satisfaction of sex for them comes from playing with one and satisfying their partner.

like everyone focuses on the presence of penis and how lesbians should be able to work a relationship/sexual encounter around it (like it’s mandatory to do this to not get called a bigot and they don’t see this as homophobic) and everyone’s ignoring the elephant in the room. that the lack of female genitals is also a deal breaker.

is everyone’s view of sexuality so dickcentric that you ignore half of the components of sex a lesbian would crave? 

If we wanted a penis all over or inside our body we would by nature be heterosexual, not lesbian. It is so clear from the above comment “most lesbian sex focuses only on one partner at a time” that transwomen have no idea what lesbian women born female do in bed with each other. Of course not. They have penises. They know maybe only theoretically how sex works with a penis and a vagina. They know maybe only theoretically how sex works with a penis and a penis. I’d would depend on their previous personal experience. Their sexuality is peniscentric and malecentric. They have seen a distorted peniscentric and malecentric “lesbian sexuality” in pornography. Lesbians know that the “lesbian sexuality” performed in porn acted out for the gaze and benefit of men (usually by heterosexual women) so men can imaginatively insert themselves into the picture is far removed from true lesbian sexuality.

There is literally no place for a penis, a male body, or a person socialized as male in a lesbian sexual encounter or a lesbian relationship.

No matter how much I, a lesbian, wanted sex and a relationship with a certain straight woman in college my clitoris/vagina, my female body, my socialization as female growing up made no room in J’s bed for me - not for sex and not for a relationship. It hurt. Rejection hurts a lot but I ACCEPTED WE WERE A MISMATCH FROM THE START. NO ONE’s FAULT.

You can want something and/or somebody so badly it physically hurts and think you deserve them and that if they just tried it, tried you they would like it. But when you put yourself in their shoes and stop thinking about yourself you realize they won’t. I stopped selfishly thinking about myself and my desires and realized J. was as straight as I was lesbian. Neither one of us could have changed if we wanted to.

J. was attracted to penises, men’s bodies, and people socialized as men. Because I had the maturity and decency not to get angry - and certainly not to even think to call this young lady a bigot and homophobe or lesbophobe - BECAUSE SHE WASN’T - we became the closest of friends. 40 years later J. is still my best friend other than my spouse.

Part of growing up and becoming a real adult (and academics and psychologists have found that many LGBT people have delayed adolescences in their twenties and even thirties) is accepting reality, accepting hard truths, accepting the things you can’t change, accepting that you will love and desire people who will not love and desire you personally or you categorically meaning because you don’t fit into a category that is important to them in a sex or relationship partner. Perhaps you don’t earn enough, are short, are fat, are thin, are a different religion or ethnic group, have a penis, or were born a gender different than the only one they have been attracted to ever since they were in nursery school.

We all have desires and needs that can only be fulfilled though sex and romance. We all have the right to the autonomy that allows us the choice to have those needs fulfilled how we see fit and with whom. NO one else gets that say.

There isn’t a theory or discourse that trumps biology - by biology here I’m referring to the natural, uncontrolled, animalistic, instinctive desire that a female born lesbian feels for another female born lesbian, for her softness, her taste, her scent. Trans women’s you theories can’t change a lesbian’s natural desires and physical responses such as arousal or nonarousal.

A straight woman’s theories that her desire to sleep with a gay man, the beauty of her body and the natural primacy of the reproductive order are NOT going to suddenly make that gay man desire breasts and a pussy and a person born as and socialized as a girl. It certainly won’t turn a gay man on to the intimate scent of a woman. I think we can admit that many if not most gay men would be repulsed at the thought of sleeping with this hypothetical woman who thinks her desires, needs, and especially theories trump this hypothetical gay man’s right to autonomy of choice over his body and what he does with it and with whom.

His nature and desires are as immutably homosexual as a lesbian’s. And, more importantly, what is lost in the rhetoric from transwomen, a lesbian’s nature and desires are as immutably homosexual as his.*