sucking fucking and trucking

Headcanon of the day:

ilya entering that hospital room sick to his stomach teeth ground to dust spirit crushed under the weight of their circumstances prepared to have an extremely difficult conversation and shane immediately hitting him with this

Ilya holding him still in this position and relentlessly pounding into him while shane just moans and trembles and takes it because he can’t do anything else

When Shane and Ilya play monopoly Shane cheats and hustles Ilya. He does this by trading sexual favors for rent when he lands on one of Ilya’s properties instead of money. The hustle here is he starts doing this much earlier then he needs to, when he still has plenty of money to afford to pay Ilya with. Ilya suspects that Shane has the money but thinks that he’s only elected to go the blowjob route instead because Shane is Ilya’s little slut and has an oral fixation. So he assumes Shane’s motivations are sexual but actually Shane’s motivations are being a savvy businessman. Shane also has convinced Ilya that for this afternoon it would be really hot if he just services Ilya and Ilya makes him wait for any relief for himself so Ilya can’t trade sex the same way. So obviously Ilya ends up broke first but that’s fine he can bounce back from this. He is ready to sell himself to Mr. Landlord. Except he is worked up at this point so he doesn’t make Shame beg for it and afterwards Shane claims he never agreed that the sex would be in lieu of payment so Ilya is still liable for the full monetary amount. This is when Ilya calls Shane a dirty cheat and Shane argues it’s not his fault he knows how to correctly manage all of his assets.

Monopoly would be banned but the landlord / sex-for-rent roleplay would recurr forever.

i know in my heart that with how much shane LOVES playing "noooo ilya. 🥰 i said nooooooooooo. 🥰" because he likes the game of being pushed into a yes he doesn't actually have to say, ilya 100% takes him at his word when he wants to rile him up into being annoyed.

“They said they wanted a vampire relationship with no age gap”

stupid shirts ilya would buy for himself

more stupid ilya shirts

even more stupid ilya shirts