Always Sleeping. Never Woken.

Direct Action; minor-friendly edition lmao

:/ i wish “bad guy” by billie eilish came out 7 years ago :(

explain

change your FUCKING name

Gonna get buried in a fuchsia plastic coffin.

I FINALLY FOUND IT

why do stores always say ‘gifts for her’??? who is she? why are millions of americans being encouraged to buy gifts for this entity? someone explain

we must appease Her

Tumblr’s “adult content” ban is the social media equivalent of Kylo Ren firing 500 giant laser cannons at a ghost of Luke Skywalker

shine bright like a bright thing

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it