Thotobots, roll out

it’s that time of the year again!

that word makes me angry because (to my knowledge) quixotic is based off of a spanish character named Don Quixote, and his name isnt pronounced the way it looks but for some reason the word quixotic is??

The world is a little happier with you in it.

The world is a little brighter with you in it.

The world is a little sweeter with you in it.

the world is a little lovelier with you in it.

oh, to be a cartoon mafia boss with two dimwitted but loveable lackeys who, upon my cleverly insulting the protagonist, will say “nice one, boss,” and the second, in a slightly higher, more snivelly voice, will say “haha, yeeah, nice one boss!”

Listen disney owning fucking everything deeply deeply sucks and I hate it so much but getting to claim that all disney owned properties are set in the same universe is very fun

Starting a new theory that Troy Bolton is Luke Skywalker’s direct descendant

each time I tell you those three words I mean them more and more

I eat bugs

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

forest people be like TWIG SNAPPED! and that’s the TREE, sis….

my pockets jingle with stolen buttons from hot topic

i literally cant stop stealing those buttons from the Button Vats like i dont feel like paying 3 dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it but i do feel like doing a heist

call the cops bitch ill have sex with them

This feels like a the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a heated phone call

updating your characters backstory to make it less edgy is like dragging them out of a hot topic by the collar of their mcr shirt 

nunchucks are illegal in some states but guns are not. so if you tie two guns together and create gunchucks it’s neither legal or illegal

schroedinger’s gunchucks