if you're reading this, you're gay

Like, good news from the world, or something nice that happened in your life lately, or your favourite cake recipe, or a picture of your pet, or your favourite artwork?

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

you are a clone. you have all the memories of the original, and think the same way as they do. you are, essentially, a perfect copy of them. now then, if you were to murder the original…

now, lets say you were to chop off your arm. completely severed. if you were to make a perfect copy of that arm, and then eat said perfect copy…

if your most authentic self is goth, and the way you sourced the clothes is more faithful to goth values, then it's going to be a super comfy goth outfit.

Quickest and easiest way to make a pair of sweatpants look goth is to bleach them. You could either dilute it and spray it on the pants or put a bit of bleach in a container, take a brush and just splash it on the pants. Leave them outside in the sun for a bit and wash them (do not put them with other clothes just to be sure you are not ruining anything). I'll say one hour and you have your personal pair of goth sweatpants.

Another thing you could do is to put holes in them. Take a pair of scissor, cut a small hole and then bush a razor on it to give it a more ripped look.

If you have more time, a bit of money and you want to try something more complicated, you can sew patches, paint them, add some metal eyelets (idk if that's how they are called in english. The metal things in the shoe where you put your laces in), chains, etc.

As for the top, band shirts!! Black shirts!! Black tank tops!! Halloween themed stuff!! You can also find them already goth enough or add patches, pins, laces, etc etc. Same goes for sweatshirts! Be creative! And also accessories!! Spike bracelets, necklaces, etc can change the look and make it more goth even if you are just wearing a pajamas.

When I said "I don't want to look like I'm wearing sweatpants", I did not mean "if only there was a way for me to wear sweatpants", I meant "I do not want to be a person who wears sweatpants in public".