[Image description: the header is a photo of a field full of small yellow flowers. The icon is a photo of Porthos from the BBC Musketeers's head, he's laughing. End ID] Porthos from BBC Muskteers. I'm white. I headcanon everyone as queer. I ship him with everyone in every way.
Someone asked where I write, so I thought I'd make a thing.
I am on AO3: archiveofourown.org/users/Saxifactumterritum
Most of the Musketeers fics are from a long while ago, last time I watched the show. I didn't like Aramis in S2 and those aren't always the kindest most sympathetic interpretations of him. I remember putting at the front if I thought it was anything bad-bad. But I talk a bunch about Aramis and I know most of the active fandom is very into him so.
tags: I am trash at tagging, I'm pretty consistent with "art rec" for other people's art. I'm trying to remember to tag gifs at the moment, which is "gif", as I saw someone doing it, assumably because they move. I tag "undescribed" if I haven't put an ID. Things I write or draw are "mine"... I think. Posts about me rewatching the show this year are "musketeers '24 rewatch".
imformation about image descriptions: I try and include them, either as alt text or underneath, Keplercryptids has lots of resources including the discord where people write them for you keplercryptids.tumblr.com/post/177289421982/faqs (Kofi: ko-fi.com/jdaccessability)
If you want me to tag something I am usually happy to, feel free to message or whatever. In general feel free to message.
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Picked up a book of costume history that I - incredibly - donât already own, and decided to do some musketeers play doodles . Hereâs Aramis and Porthos if the costume designers decided to keep a little closer to early 17th century fashions. For the record Iâm glad they didnâtâŚexcept for the female characters, they could have tried to be a teeensy bit more historically accurate for them.
(Iâm OBSESSED with the fashion from this period. The shapes and silhouettes are batshit insane. HUGE trousers! MASSIVE sleeves! BIG curved stomachs! NO necks! ALL the bows and ruffles!)
I want to do a big long post about my thoughts on the costumes in this show. So I'm going to.
(Prefaced with this: I am an enthusiastic costumier with no formal training. I read a lot of books and talk to a lot of experts but its entirely possible -perhaps even probable!- that there is incorrect information in the following. Though I have tried to verify info where I can. Also where I am perplexed or put-off by a costume this is in no-way a diss to Phoebe de Gaye or any of the other amazing costume designers and team responsible.)
But firstIy, I do feel so conflicted about the costumes in this show: I am no way a purist when it comes to things being historically accurate but the female charactersâ hair and costumes are so baffling to me, as choices, that they sort of hurt my head to think about?
Exhibit A:
I know what they're trying to say about her character and in that sense I think it's quite successful, but I just...I just don't know, you guys.
- but the male character costumes. THE MALE CHARACTER COSTUMES MY GOD.
Again, not always completely accurate but I think for the modern viewers we would accept historically accurate female fashion (ruffs, lace, bows etc) far easier than we would accept historically accurate menâs fashion (ruffs, lace, bows etc).
For context, this is the sort of thing actual Musketeers or men in early 17th C Europe were wearing (from 'Historic Costume In Pictures' by Braun & Schneider.)
Batshit insane silhouettes, is my main takeaway from this image. And square-toed boots, but we do actually get that in the show:
In the book, the four Inseparables are just soldiers who are not currently being asked to soldier, and so spend most of their free time whoring around Paris and losing all of their money until they get bored and challenge someone to a duel. Occasionally they are asked to take part in An Intrigue! but in the BBC Musketeers they are essentially some version of law enforcement/detectives/spies, and they are dressed accordingly. They have the 17th century version of leather jackets on, and though, again, not completely accurate it reads close enough to satisfy both history and characterisation in my mind.
See Aramisâ chemise/shirt? His suspenders? His costume is just a touch more flamboyant than the others. He has a little lace at the cuffs and the collar, a little extra decoration. His doublet has that lovely scalloped edging to it around the shoulders, his hat is feathered, he wears a sash under his (many) belts, and his pauldron is tooled with lovely swirling vines and leaves.
He is a lover of beautiful things, but at the end of the day, none of this decoration gets in the way of him doing his job, of his outfit being practical (he could even use that sash for a tourniquet or a bandage if he needed to).
For me this is absolutely A+ costuming for a man who is the contradiction of a lover, a man of (Catholic) faith, and a stone-cold killer. (I believe he is the only one of the four of them who is canonically mentioned to have been a career solider before he joined the Musketeers, so he knows more than anyone what works in a fight and what might just get in the way.)
JustâŚno notes, chefâs kiss, all of that.
Can I also please point out something I only just noticed, that Aramis appears to have tied the ties on his cuffs of his shirt somehow up and over his back to hold them up while tending to Treville when wounded.
Meanwhile, on the complete opposite end of things we have (dainty waist) Athos:
Now, I believe that this doublet may actually be more of a grey/black than the beautiful rich saturated blue that it comes across in the colour-graded shots of the show, but I am choosing to I believe that it is blue since the colour has a perfect aristocratic note to it. It is not showy - none of his costume is - but it speaks to a man who knows about nice clothing. This is a well-made doublet, with thick, smooth--grained costly leather. It is probably more expensive than the othersâ clothing, because while Athos has turned his back on his title and his status he undoubtedly knows the value of paying upfront for a well-made and tailored piece of clothing that will last him for years (please see the Sam Vimes Boots Theory of Socio-Economics for further reading).
Here is a man who has renounced all worldly belongings but will never renounce good taste. The only things he cares about (other than wine, and he has taste there too, though his need will often see him partaking in the cheap and sour variety if itâs all thatâs around), are those he needs to keep him warm and dry and safe: his doublet, his hat, his boots, his weapons, his horse. He pays properly for good quality things and he cares for them so that they will see him through, probably into his dying day. Like everything else about him, to a casual observer there is nothing out of the ordinary, but look a little closer and youâll see the craftsmanship, the quiet style that speaks of a wealthy background.
Another shot of the lovely doublet - especially OBSESSED with those domed brass buttons and the beautiful buttonholes. He's got some great high-waisted breeches situation going on there. I can't speak to the historical accuracy here but he does wear them rather well.
Also note his natty little scarf. Again: it's not showy. It could probably do with a wash. It's very practical, and probably nicely made.
From the first photo you can sort of see a hint of that pointed front to the doublet which was a Thing in the 17th century, as shown in this image, from the same book as mentioned previously:
You can see in this image that he has a little lace at his collar and most likely at his cuffs too, which would have been commonplace at the time, but the very fact that he keeps his collar tucked underneath his doublet - unlike Aramis - feels telling: lace would have been totally handmade in this era and therefore could be quite expensive (I believe it started to become mechanised in the late 18th century). To my untrained eye it looks like linen bobbin lace (I have had a go at making this and it is NOT easy. Lace has a fascinating history!)
Okay! Porthos!
....has the most ostentatious lace of the lot of them! As I said earlier, lace would not have been cheap. He also has a doublet that somehow manages to be both highly decorative/would undoubtedly have taken the longest to construct (all those tiny "scales" and their studs) and yet also look the most like armour (those scales again, look like a gorget on a suit of armour, and his pauldron is arguably the most armour-esque of the lot)
The frustrated costume designer in me loves this, LOVES this for him. In the books we are first introduced to Porthos as a man who cares very deeply about how people see him, and that he is regarded as having money and class (he is seen boasting about his new beautiful embroidered sash and literally stars a duel with d'Artagnan, whom he is only just met, when the boy lets everyone know that it is plain on the side hidden behind his cloak - ie. he could not afford a fully embroidered sash).
So firstly, to have this version of his character be a man who grew up in poverty in the slums of Paris is such a stroke of genius IMO. Here is a man who has never been handed anything, and has literally had to build himself from the boots upwards. He knows intimately what poverty does to a person and he will do whatever he can to raise himself from it. He appreciates and aims for the safety and comfort that being seen to be wealthy offers.
Look at all that slashing/decoration on his doublet. People has slashes in their clothing literally to show how wealthy they were, and to show the costly fabric of undershirts, doublets or chemises beneath. (interestingly, here Porthos' slashing is all show: there is nothing showing through underneath it.)
Porthos knows he will never be as effortlessly beautiful - or regarded as such at least - as Aramis. But he is trying, very hard. And yet, his doublet is armour: he is a big man and he knows the world is cruel and violent. Not only is his outfit in no way impractical despite its decorative nods, it is also defensive. He is holding himself in, upwards, and keeping others away.
His gloves are big, gauntlet style to protect him when he fights. His sword is HUGE compared to the rapiers wielding by the others. He has the strength to wield it, but it's also about the look of it, the intimidation of it.
It has a lovely basket hilt which is decorative as well as protective. (Note the size difference in the blade compared to the other swords).
Finally, d'Artagnan.
I can't get a great image of this costume, and he only seems to wear it at the very beginning of the first episode, in the scene where he and his father come to the tavern and are attacked. It looks like some sort of shearling-lined waistcoat, and I love how weathered and used it looks. This is a country-boy, and not only that but more than likely a sheep farmer, since Gascony is I believe historically a sheep farming area. I'm guessing that he changes - somehow - into the following outfit to visually show his becoming more of a Musketeer man-about-Paris and less of a bumpkin:
Lovely suede doublet there. One of the things I love about these costumes is how lived-in they look. They really feel like they've been slept in and mended and used. However, I find it deeply troubling that the grain on his sleeve there looks...almost...like alligator leather? And I'm pretty sure they don't farm those in Gascony.
Shout-out to Constance's lovely bodice and collar, which appears to my amateur eye like the most period-accurate women's costume of the entire show and barely appears for more than a scene or two.
I mean look at that! Those lovely "bow" tabs on the bodice! Don't look at the shoulders because I have never ever seen a shoulder like that before but maybe I'm wrong I dunno but also DON'T LOOK AT THE SKIRT or whatever the hell is going on there. Also don't look at her stays poking out at the bottom. Just don't. Please don't. The bodice. The bodice is nice. It has that lovely high-waist and the godets in the peplum section (I just made this bodice which is quite similar to Constanceâs here, except with a stomacher and front lacing:)
WAIT back to d'Artagnan:
Even when the show is up and running and he has this same sort of signature doublet in this beautiful cognac leather. Part of me thinks he's trying to emulate Athos a little here, with the sleek, simple and well-cut doublet that will see him through anything.
Oh look, this picture if great because you can really see its the weird alligator suede sleeves again but he has some lovely slashing/punching on the doublet which here feels reminiscent of Porthos' doublet.
His costume definitely feels like it's the youngest of the lot of them. He doesn't care for much for fashion but likely wants to be respected by the others. His costume doesn't draw much attention to itself but is extremely sleek and practical. In the books d'Artagnan's father was a friend of Treville's and I think the assumption is that they are not necessarily the lowest of classes, though certainly don't have a great deal of wealth. And the impression I got from the show, especially when d'Artagnan's farm was raided and burned by Lebarge, is that it is a sizeable farm and not some subsistence farm or a tenant farm that's rented from a local comte or other wealthy landowner.
So d'Artagnan's family are kind of doing okay - enough to be able to afford some good quality clothing - while it not being in their character or desire to be beautiful or decorative in particular.
The suede and the green gloves also give much more of a rural feel to his costume than the others.
Note of appreciation for the bandy-legs.
I could say a lot more (the women's costumes, the minor characters' costumes, the extra bits like cloaks or disguises, SYLVIE, for instance) but maybe I'll save that for another day!
[Caption: A stylistic, sepia-toned drawing of Aramis, Porthos, and Athos from BBCâs The Musketeers. Aramis is long and lean, Porthos tall and beefy, and Athos short and skinny. Aramis has one hand on his hip jauntily, and the other leaning on Porthosâ shoulder; Porthos has his arms crossed. The two are smiling mischievously, while Athos has his arms crossed behind him and seems serious. A tan circle in the background unites the three men.]
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A fic i never quite finished but quite like. Porthos finds somethig at the front, and slowly wends his way home.
Porthosâs men look at him askance when he comes out of a half destroyed house, at the end of a more fully destroyed village, amidst the sea churned up land and mud and flattened structures that this part of the front is becoming. Theyâd looked at him askance going in, too, because heâd been sure heâd heard something, and theyâd been sure he hadnât, because what could survive this? Itâs not even the battles, the signs of fire and musket shot and canon and thundering horses. Itâs the quiet, the age of those signs, the way the broken buildings have settled into their new shapes. Itâs been months since anyone lived here. And yet, when Porthos comes picking his way out more gingerly than is his usual barreling way, they look at him oddly for the bundle he holds.
âI told you, you can get it back if you come out of there!â Porthos roars.
Thereâs a sound like an angry cat and to everyoneâs surprise a small child comes leaping out, sure-footed, going for Porthos and the bundle slung over his shoulder. Porthos tosses the bundle across the distance to his captain, everyone ranged wearily a good distance away, tired and not interested in whatever has their general on this scavenger hunt through what is, by now, a familiar sort of dead village. Or town, itâs hard to even tell. Captain Errard catches the bundle reflexively, he has a second to realise he is now in the path of the tiny ball of rage, and then Porthos is shooting into the house and blowing them all up.
Or thatâs what it feels like. Thereâs a great whumph and heat and wind, the explosion too close to be loud.
âBiggerân I thought,â is the first thing Errard hears when he can hear again.
The men pick themselves back up and glare at Porthos, who is lying on his back about a metre away from where heâd taken his shot, ignoring the small blaze of house. Thereâs nothing close enough wooden enough to cause it to spread.
The child, torn between coming at Errard for the bundle of things (it rattles like itâs bones in there), and going for the house that is on fire, or going for Porthos, stands undecided on the rubble of the village, as it starts to rain, fizzing into the ruins, capping off a shit day at the end of worse week.
âEr, general. Sir.â
Porthos doesnât look up from the report heâs signing off.
âSheâs back.â
Porthos just grunts. He is aware that she is back, she is curled up in a corner out of his sight but sheâs asleep and sheâs snoring. Hard to miss a six year old who snores like a dying goat. Porthos has had to learn to sleep through this atrocious sound; he is very much aware that she is back. Sheâs been following them as they pick their way along this stretch of what was recently the front but is now, ostensibly, France. Itâs not France, itâs not anything, in three months itâll belong to Spain again. Theyâve been pushing back and forth over these same ten or so miles for years and years now. France, Spain, sometimes Porthos forgets who is who, doesnât really care.
His tiny charge, when she speaks, speaks Spanish. No one knows that, the men think her a mute, or think sheâs too damaged by being somehow alive and alone on the front to say anything.
âWhat am I doing for you, captain?â Porthos asks, cutting across the man rambling on and on about the really very tiny child who is irrelevant at the moment.
â...and he- what? Oh, sorry general. Brujonâs back,â Captain Faure says, seeing as heâs not going to be able to oust the goat-snorer, he delivers his message and gets on.
Brujon means intelligence, so Porthos heaves himself out of his chair and stretches, cracking and popping and creaking like some sort of house himself. He walks out of his tent after his captain, aware of the letting up of goat noises, and his faint shadow padding invisibly somewhere out of sight.
They find the Spanish. Itâs not really what theyâd been searching for but by the time they get around to finding the Spanish holed up in some sort of maybe-useful position, Porthos has forgotten what they were looking for, traipsing up and down the dead space theyâre all fighting over. The men will follow their general, theyâre tired and bored and dirty and theyâd probably head for a fight even if he didnât lead them toward it. They circle around it for a bit, tiptoeing, spreading out and pretending not to be there, until they know how, when, where, and who.
âRight, letâs go send âem off to hell, eh?â Porthos says, his version of a rousing speech.
âSir.â
The men are stirring fitfully and uncomfortably, and no one seems ready to ride into battle with him. Porthos looks about him.
âHowâd you think she got up there?â Porthos asks, bemused. He put her there himself, safest place for her.
âYou cannot take a child into battle,â someone shouts.
Porthos considers that. Probably true. Heâs not supposed to take himself into battle either, judging by his generals, when he was first out here years and years ago with Athos and dâArtagnan their generals had stayed back in their tents. Porthos shrugs and swings up onto Mercredi. Sheâs Mercredi the third, full name. The first put out to pasture, the second dead in a skirmish. Porthos shifts his seat to adjust to the slight weight of his extra charge, then adjust his weight again to offer his men a fight with him if theyâre not ready to fight the Spanish.
âSheâs just a child,â Brujon murmurs.
âWhatâs your suggestion, Bruj? Leave her here with the medics? Iâve only got four medics, theyâll be waist deep in viscera before weâre done,â Porthos says. Brujon winces, but none of the men can hear, Porthos can pitch his voice right for this. âWhereâm I gonna take her thatâs safe?â
Brujon hasnât got an answer. The real reason is sheâs going to follow them anyway. Itâs not affection that has her dogging Porthosâs heels, he knows enough of Aramisâs language to know what sheâs after; revenge.
Itâs the sort of battle Porthos never dreamt of, in the old days. Viscous, long, more dead either side than is worth anything. He canât tell his men from the Spanish when theyâre underfoot. No hope of backup, out here - theyâre miles from any lines, he wrote letters and sent off reports but really, he can't tell if anyone even knows where they are. Heâs sure he hasnât a clue. He tears through the outpost, men straggling around him, closing a messy net. His regiment is small, they never give him very much, not being noble or in Paris much or very good at the politics.
No, he is good at the politics, he just doesnât bother. He fights for France, that should be good enough. He wheels when he gets through the town the Spanish have âcapturedâ (who from? Who for?), his charge dropping lightly off the horse. Mercredi rears, night falling sudden with rain heavy around them, lightning and thunder and a storm coming up. Porthos charges back the other way, caught halfway in the main street, Mercredi falling under him, collapsing on top of him, hot and breathing hard and then whinnying and kicking at the muskets and canons and crushing him as she rolls and gets her legs and bolts. Porthos wonders if heâll be shot, but heâs not.
So, he gets to his feet, lucky his legs are not broken, the mud deep enough he sunk in under Mercrediâs weight. His sword and pistol are in his hand and he charges on. Heâs both the centre of the plan and superfluous, it grinds around him like clockwork; heâs their beacon, fighting face first with a few men, the rest slipping and weaving in and out, shadows darting here and there. Porthos spins, trips, falls flat on his face. He sees her, then, inching along a wall. Sheâs got a knife in her hand. He sees her in the flash of lightning and sees her arms shaking.
He runs, twists, ducks out of his own plan, sinks into the shadows, and follows her. The man sheâs hunting is big, shut up in a house upstairs, uninterested in the battle, full of good food and good wine. Sheâs standing over him when Porthos comes in and heâs laughing at her, uncaring of her knife or her fury or her tears.
âYour choice,â Porthos says, and then again in Spanish. âMe or you.â
He hadnât offered it before, hadnât offered her anything much. Theyâve barely spoken. He isnât sure she even knows he can speak Spanish. She drops the knife, so Porthos guts the man and spills him all over the floor, catching the child up and against his shoulder to save her seeing it, sweeping her up and away and into the battle.
They win. Of course they win, Porthos wouldnât have bothered with this useless little town if they werenât even going to win it. He ties up their prisoners. The last lot they captured they sent off to Paris, loosing a chunk of the regiment on escort. Porthos considers shooting these. Just lining them up and shooting them and leaving their corpses for carrion. Instead he ties them up and gives them water and sets his regiment on a rout through the town, gathering supplies, taking any food and drink they find. He sends his quartermasters, strategically placed to count everything out as itâs discovered, and in as itâs gathered.
âHow many we lose?â Porthos asks Errard, whoâs stood looking exhausted, bedraggled, muddy, bloody.
âFour,â Errard says.
That is too few. Porthos tells him to go and count again, and next time the answer is twelve, which is acceptable. Too many for his disintegrating regiment, not so many that theyâre dead if they donât run screaming for the hills. If the war hasnât flattened those too, in which case he supposes itâd be more of this mud and shit theyâd have to run screaming for.
âNot really worth it, is it? Screaming for this shite. And who has the energy to run?â
His charge doesnât answer, tucked into his jacket, his armour discarded so she fits. Sheâs a tiny thing, half starved, all starved really. She sounds like a goat when she laughs as well. She laughs because he laughs, and he laughs because. Because he was about to cry, and this seemed a better bet.
Taking a position sounds glorious but really they just get stuck. The Spanish didnât care about the town, theyâd been hiding here for something to do, all but deserters. Thereâs fighting, but the last month or so mostly itâs been like this, most of what they find is each other in shitholes, hiding, like stinking animals waiting to die. Spanish hunt French, and French hunt Spanish. The Glories of War.
Eventually orders catch up with them, one of Porthosâs weary messengers traipsing back into camp after months finding a post to pass a message on to, waiting for a reply, news, anything, and then chasing the regiment down through the scar of country. Which country, who knows.
âThese are months old,â Porthos says, in disgust, tossing them aside. Heâs miles and miles out of position for that, and anyway even months ago heâd have been no good.
Instead, they carry on their weary pick through what is being called Franceâs victory, rousting out Spanish who are bedded down in the dirt. There isnât really anyone, and weeks turn to months, and Porthosâs little shadow haunts after them, in boots far too big. Porthos finds her a mule, left by farmers and not yet caught for someoneâs dinner, wandering like them. She rides at the side of Mercredi, who came back after her bolt but limps now, lame and fed up. Porthos walks most of the time, thereâs no need for a rush afterall, and he has a soft spot for his horse.
âYou care more about the beast than your men,â Brujon accuses once, hungry and hating the world and hating Porthos most of all.
He has no youth left, after years of this, and Porthos is the man who wasted it all, sending Brujon here and there, dragging him onward. Theyâll reach the fighting soon enough, theyâre almost through, and then⌠glory.
âOrders! General, General du Vallon! Orders!â
Porthos looks up. Heâs sat on a tumbled wall (heâs got the good bit, further down itâs blown up), his little shadow sat behind him out of sight, back to the wall heâs sat on. Theyâre cleaning weapons, eating carrots they found growing under a collapsed house. The messenger clatters through on a clean horse, gleaming and bright, the sun sparks off them. theyâre travel worn, theyâre not a soldier, they donât look like Porthosâs regiment - they've ridden from Paris. Porthos doesnât rise, doesnât do anything except gesture for the man to get down off his daft horse and give over whatever letter is important enough for him to have hunted Porthos down.
Itâs from Aramis, and itâs recalling him and his men to Paris, and the reason is nonsensical. Porthos calculates how close they are to the fighting, figures itâs close enough, and sends the messenger back.
His men head on to the front, and come thundering to someoneâs rescue, turn a tide of a fight or two, mop up the remains of a battle lost, leave their supplies at a camp back from the front, and collapse from exhaustion.
Porthos lets them rest for the two weeks it takes for his messengers to catch them up.
It takes them six months to reach Paris. Four months in the fighting, six months travelling and picking up their regiment where they left people behind for intelligence, as messenger posts, for injuries. Itâs nearly a year before Porthos fulfils his orders and rides under the city gate. His charge is at his side on her mule, singing along with the men who are overjoyed to be home, French tripping off her tongue now. At eight sheâs sturdy, short, looks more like a boy - most of the regiment still take her for a boy. Porthos doesnât know her name, or doesnât know what it was before. The men call her all sorts, anything, affectionate and silly. Porthos reins in at the gate and lets his regiment be accosted and searched, ignoring the poking and prodding with a sword, the rude words thrown at him, the questions. He doesnât answer to these guards.
He waits them out, then and only then he calmly removes his pauldron and uses the last of his water to clean off the dust and mud. Itâs from travel, heâs kept his uniform in good nick even if it isnât clean.
âYou are speaking to General Porthos du Vallon, do you not think you should show a little respect?â Porthosâs little ghost says, accent cutting and high class, imitated from who knew where. She sounds like Athos, and Porthos wants to laugh happily. Actually, that might be a little unsettling; he goes ahead and has a few chuckles and the guards look suitably frightened.
He gets a lot of apologies and someone rides off in a clatter of dust, probably to announce them ahead to save other guards such dubious honour. Porthos takes back his pauldron and leads his men into the city they left five years ago, last time. They ride slowly, he wants to go home but heâs not actually a musketeer anymore, so he heads for the army garrison, sits in silence while the quartermaster, a captain, and a general of some lower grade bicker about where to put them all up. Once thatâs over Porthos roars instructions and his men issue past him into the courtyard.
He sees them settled before heading for the Louvre.
âWhatâs your name, then? What name do you want, here?â Porthos asks, while they sit and wait for someone to make time to see them. The Louvre is very clean and they are very dirty.
âPorthos,â she says, laughing. She still sounds like a goat when she laughs.
âThatâs mine. You need one of your own,â Porthos says.
âMake it up for me.â
Porthos considers this for a long time. She waits. Sheâs given him many names to call her as they go, choosing for each place. Like sheâs searching for home, or for herself, or for something to tie her together.
âSamara,â he says.
A servant comes out and ushers and hurries them deeper into the palace. Samara accepts her name easily enough, taking Porthosâs arm and holding her head high. She reminds Porthos of his friend, dirty and tired but warm and full of fire and never giving up, his to protect if only briefly. Maybe for longer, if sheâll keep following him.
Some servant tries to take them to a bath, Porthos stands and waits while the servant tries to explain that in fact turning up to greet whoever it is theyâre here to greet, while caked in muck and dust and wearing clothes so worn and torn that they look like scraps, is not ideal. Porthos doesnât care. His uniform is well kept and his hair is clean and his fingernails are neatly cut. Samaraâs wearing a dress and all. They wait.
Aramis comes to them, in the end, inexorably. Drawn through the Louvre by impatience and curiosity. He has to have heard they are here, the regiment back in Paris is news and that spreads fast. Faster than theyâve been inching their way into the palace, at the very least, stopped and started and turned into rooms with gleaming walls and clothing waiting for them to change. They do not change.
âThere you are,â Aramis says, weak and breathless, standing in a doorway over a whole bustle or servants who are bringing water for Porthos to wash his face and trim his beard, all that heâs conceded to.
Porthos stares at him. Heâs older, heavier, grey in his hair, neat dressed in court clothes. He looks nothing like the men Porthos has spent the last five years among. No, he still looks like a soldier. His bearing, the way he wears his muscle and fat, the way his hand rests at his sword. His eyes. The familiar quirk of a smile, a real one, not quite showing through sorrow. Or astoundment.
âSamara,â Porthos introduces her, giving her a shove. She tries to bite him in retaliation but doesnât swear, which is a good start. âAramis,â Porthos says, indicating Aramis.
Samara gives Aramis an inquisitive look, head tipped, eyes full of curiosity to meet the man sheâs heard Porthos grumbling and complaining about these long years. The man who dragged them here. Porthosâs heart is missing a beat and he steps away from Samara, away from Aramis.
âPorthos,â Aramis says. His voice is firm and light, covering up whatever wrench is in him.
Porthos wants to run.
âScreaming for the shit,â Samara says, catching his restlessness, used to him after spending so much time hiding in his shadow.
âScreaming for the shit,â Porthos agrees. âRight out that window.â
âStill the third?â Aramis asks, having no trouble following their short hand, though he should have trouble.
âFourth,â Porthos says, still sad about that loss. Only time he saw Samara cry was over Mercredi the third.
âWhat now?â Samara asks, when Porthos remains quiet and doesnât bolt.
âNow we eat,â Aramis says. âThough, I will have you know that I prepared for your return eight months ago.â
Porthos doesnât bother to answer for that.
Aramis waits until Samara is asleep, stretched out on a sofa, snoring her little goat snores. Porthos is sat on the floor under a window keeping watch, he hasnât had much to say to Aramis yet, but he ate plenty and so did Samara, none of it rich enough to make them sick.
âWho is she?â Aramis asks.
âDunno. Started tailing me, going after revenge for what happened to her father. Got loose from her mother when they ran,â Porthos says, a little of what heâs discovered. Her mother is probably here in Paris, most refugees end up here, or that is the hope. Her hope, not Porthosâs. Porthos would like to take Samara with him to Elodie, to his own Marie-Cesette. âStuck to me.â
âStomped into your heart in her soldierâs boots?â Aramis asks.
âWhereâd I get childrenâs shoes for her on the front?â Porthos asks, aiming for belligerence but coming out plaintive.
âShe is happy and healthy,â Aramis says.
âSheâs Spanish,â Porthos says.
Aramisâs breath catches, and Porthos looks up, ready for a fight, but Aramis just looks like Porthos has done some sort of wonderful thing. Is some sort of hero. He lets his head thunk back against the wall and tears inch over his cheeks. Heâs so tired.
Samara finds her mother at the musketeers garrison. Porthos is sitting on a bench watching the cadets, biding time with dâArtagnan until he can stand to be inside for longer than an hour, until he feels enough like himself to see Elodie. Marie Cesette he would visit immediately, sheâd not mind at all, but Elodie might not recognise him quite, not recognise him as the big, calm, safe musketeer who she put her trust into. dâArtagnan doesnât care, loves having him there, hasnât stopped laughing and talking and slinging arms around him and pressing kisses to his cheek and hair and shoulder. Samara had been watching it all with grave amusement until the woman had come in under the arch holding a cadet by the ear, grim and shouting at him in broken French.
âI didnât steal it, captain!â the cadet shouts, tossed into the courtyard, hurrying to dâArtagnan to get his story in first.
Samara is watching the cadet and dâArtagnan with eager anticipation for the fight, so itâs Porthos who sees her, recognises her.
âSamara,â he says, nudging her with his elbow.
Samara looks up.
Itâs definitely her mother. She looks like Samara. She walks like Samara. She speaks French like Samara. She speaks Spanish, fast and desperate and running, like Samara. She catches Samara into a strangling, snatching, struggling hold and drags her to the floor weeping and clutching her. Samara stares at Porthos with big, big eyes.
Porthos manages to get himself home. He walks up to the front door, then slips around to the servantâs side entrance and into the kitchen to sit by the fire. His cook and servants donât recognise him, but his uniform is clean, and he washed at the Musketeers garrison under Constanceâs careful hands, cleaning the injuries he never noticed, dâArtagnan too distraught to help. Samara had watched Constance, sharp eyes taking in everything, Constance slowing and explaining the medicine, the types of bandages, why she wanted to bind Porthosâs arm to his body (no thank you fuck that).
âFather.â
Porthos doesnât look up, doesnât dare look at Marie Cesette yet. Sheâs twelve and has lived three lifetimes without him. Little life times, but life times none the less. She comes and he stands to meet her, to embrace her, to hold her golden head in his hand and cradle her. He wanted so many times to hold Samara like this, too. He weeps into her hair and her arms around him are strong.
âWhereâs your mother?â he asks, eventually, not letting her go. She cajoles him until she can tuck into his side instead of being clutched to him, and entices him into the house, through wide hallways into warm rooms.
âSheâs out, you didnât tell us what date you would arrive,â Marie Cesette says. âThereâs a girl here to see you, they announced themselves at the front, I said you werenât here but we'd heard the news that the regiment had returned so I thought Iâd just check in the kitchen, in case you snuck in earlier than usual.â
âSmart girl,â Porthos says, proudly, eyes on her so he nearly misses that itâs Samara and her mother sat in the room she brings him to.
Started thinking about Porthos again... not enough to watch the show though I think. Just enough to think about them all in a happy pile and Porthos doing Porthos things.
i have chronic porthos/d'artagnan syndrome helppppp
they're so underutilized in fanfiction because their dynamic is sooo good. there is so much to build off there. they are on opposite ends of a spectrum within the group and it makes them so interesting. and yet they have so many similarities the other two do notttt
[ID: two consecutive gifs, Porthos stood belligerantly on the garrison stairs, leaning one hand on the handrail, gesturing with the other as he talks. He's holding what lookd like two carrots. End ID]
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The shop was warm. Porthos wasnât really enjoying the date he was on, but the shop was warm. He had very over-sweet carrot cake and very bitter tea. He was trying to politely pay attention to Dijon instead of dozing. Heâd had qualms about going out with the man he fleeced at Beggar My Neighbour at Constanceâs party, but Constance had seemed to think it was a great idea. Sheâd been drunk at the time. Heâd also just cheated at cards at her party and caused a bit of a ruckus. Porthos looked at Dijon, who was sat with his legs very neatly crossed, hands around a huge mug, fingerless gloves, draped in a fancy scarf. Heâd been talking for a good twenty minutes without pause.
â...so youâll agree. Howâs your tea? You havenât drunk much,â Dijon said. Porthos had really zoned out he had no idea the subject. Before his tea was it. He took a sip.
âItâs okay. Itâs quite bitter,â he said.
âItâs oversteeped,â a man said.
He just sort of appeared. Porthos had been watching the room, this man was sat over by a window with a small-ish child, last Porthos noticed. Now he was stood by their table, hands on his hips, eyes on Porthosâs mug.
âHuh?â Porthos said.
âOversteeped.â
âHow do you know? You donât even know what heâs drinking,â Dijon snapped.
âEverything is oversteeped here. You have to ask for a pot, and get them to give you the leaves separately. What is it?â the man leant over Porthosâs mug and sniffed. âJasmine?â
âYeah,â Porthos said, enjoying himself for the first time. The man flourished. He added flourished to every gesture. Even the way he stood was a flourish. âYou some sort of tea expert?â
âI absolutely am!â the man said, eyes going bright with happiness at the idea.
âDo you work here?â Dijon asked, reaching for the tray he brought their things over on, clearly hoping to get rid of this brand new entertainment.
âNo, no. Just a concerned citizen. Shall I go get you better tea? Give me the mug, Iâll say you complained and I am saving their honour and reputation.â
Porthos handed over his mug willingly, watching the man stride to the counter. The shop server started laughing at whatever he said, reaching across the counter to smack the manâs shoulder. The mug was accepted back, and moments later Porthosâs tea saviour was sallying back, hips swaying, a tray balanced on one hand. He put down a pot, and a tea infuser, and a small plate, and a new mug.
âThe water should be cooler, for Jasmine. They havenât got a thermometer,â he said, pausing to exchange incredulous looks with Dijon and Porthos as if this was inconceivable. âWeâll just wait a few minutes for it to cool.â
They all watched the pot. Dijon cleared his throat a few times and made some indistinct noises that indicated he might start up on his conversation again, but Porthos was enjoying this interlude too much and ignored that. Soon enough, the teapot lid was being lifted (with a flourish), the infused put in (another flourish, it was fitted to the pot), and the lid returned.
âThree to four minutes,â the man said.
âJust enough time for introductions,â Porthos said, accidentally on purpose cutting across Dijon before he could get words out edgewise. âIâm Porthos.â
âWhat a good idea. Iâm Aramis, lovely to meet you. And your quiet friend?â
The way Aramis said âquietâ was loaded with meaning, and Porthos suddenly thought there was a chance Aramis had noticed him, as well as him noticing Aramis. Maybe heâd come over to save more than Porthosâs tea. Dijon had barely been stopping for breath let alone to allow Porthos to join in the conversation. Porthos grinned.
âIâm Dujon,â Dijon said. Porthos blinked.
âLike the mustard?â Aramis asked. Then he held up his hands. âApologies, so rude, I didnât quite hear what you said.â
âDujon,â Dujon said.
âDu⌠jon,â Porthos repeated.
âYes,â Dujon snapped. âLook, are you done with the tea thing? We were in the middle of something, Arthritis.â
âAramis,â Aramis said.
âDid you call him âarthritisâ? Thatâs not even nearly what he said,â Porthos said. âHe just didnât hear your name, he wasnât being rude.â
âYes well, whatever. Are we done?â Dujon said.
âYeah, I think we are,â Porthos said. âLook, it was nice, thanks for the invitation, thanks for the tea and cake.â
âSeriously?â Dujon said.
âYeah.â
âRight in front of my tea,â Aramis said, but very, very quietly, lifting out the infuser, putting the lid on the pot, and sliding away back to the small-ish child and the homework. The shop worker was sat over there with the child watching, clearly Aramis knew the people here.
Porthos turned back to his date, and set about being polite and charming to try and defuse the fuming man, clearly insulted and quite pissed off. In the end Dujon stormed out with a snappy âfine, but Iâll be the one to leave. You can payâ. Porthos was alright with that. He sat back, huffing out a breath, and pulled out his phone. It was full of notifications from Constance, which mostly seemed to be laughing face emojis and âthink twice before starting fights with kitchen forks at my house next time Vallonâ.
âSo, how is the tea?â
Porthos looked up. Aramis was back, leaning a hip on the table. Porthos poured out some tea and took a sip. He was doing it for show, but he was genuinely surprised at the difference. Light, slightly sweet, and aromatic, the Jasmine tea was mellow and distinctive. He looked at the mug and then up at Aramis, whoâs grin had turned soft and really genuine.
âThat was lovely,â Aramis said, quietly. âI havenât seen someone do that over tea in a while.â
âYou do this a lot? Tea corrections?â Porthos asked.
âBetter than homework corrections. Heâs doing Spanish homework, itâs the worst,â Aramis said, making a face.
âIâm not complaining. Hey, do you mind doing me a favour? Another one I havenât said thank you for the first one yet, thank you. And for the tea,â Porthos said. Aramis tipped his head on one side to work all of that out and then smiled widely.
âAh. I thought I was being subtle.â
âYou were. Much appreciated. Iâm the butt of a joke, my friend was taking her revenge for a, hm, disturbance that I may or may not have caused,â Porthos said. âIn the name of which, would you think it was weird if I asked you to sit over there and let me take a photo to show her how great this is going? Fake date.â
Aramisâs eyes lit up with enthusiasm, and his answer was unequivocally yes. He drew the other chair around to Porthosâs side of the table and fed Porthos a bite of the carrot cake for a photo, blew a kiss to the camera, and took a really nice picture of Porthos looking a bit bashful with his cup of tea. He sprawled afterwards, laughing, holding Porthosâs arm and trying to get him to tell the story about the kitchen fork. Porthosâs phone rang, interrupting, and Aramis took that as a cue of some kind, pulling himself together and retreating once more to the child and the Spanish homework, leaving Porthos to his tea and his phonecall. It was just Constance begging for gossip, Porthos told her he was having too good a time to talk to her.
[ID: two gifs of Porthos from BBC Musketeers, consecutive from episode one, laughing and relaxed and goading, then stiling as a gun comes into frame, expression changing eyebrows up mouth a mocking 'ooh', still talking. End ID]
I dont know how to describe this clearly, the way Porthos (or Howard Charles) moves is poetic. Insert laughing emoji of mockery but IT IS. You cant even see most of him here but the set of his shoulders, he's leaning back, relaxed, purposefully so, and then when the gun comes up he stills and is clearly wary but not worried. He's ready to fight but doesn't need to. How do you convey all that? And there's other stuff too. His expressions have layers. He's so intentional with it all and controlled. And you can see he's having fun.
These gifs are also rrally well lit. Maybe it was the on the show too i dont know but the light on his face is lovely.
There's some screenshots and gifs floating around somewhere of Howard Charles in a TV show very camp and glam, and I was looking for something to put on as background noise yesterday and the TV show on my streaming called 'Beatiful People' popped up and I was like, huh! I know that show! I do not know the show it is just that Howard Charles appears for 2 seconds and so it has been mined for Porthos content.
Porthos isn't in it, H Charles is literally there for two seconds a the end, but I did end up watching the whole show and it's very sweet, very funny, and quite good. Also very very nineties. Got bit by the nostalgia factor.
And now I am thinking about Porthos again, which is always lovely!
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Rolling Stones Wild Horses makes me think of musketeers. Im not entirely sure why, maybe i had it on a loop when obsessed. I really wsnt (to make? Skills needed) a video with this song and like, childhood living, baby porthos, i watched you suffer, porthos watching athos and aramis, the horses of course. Mostlt though just the vibe.