miraculous is a good show and i like it

nik • he/him • 23 • alloaro trans man • meteoritewrites on ao3 (meteoritewrote for old mcrp stuff)

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starting with Marinette’s trauma responses, because it's important but it doesn’t really change much if you read it as a sexual assault metaphor versus as the bullying the way it’s presented in the show. either way she undeniably experiences symptoms of trauma, such as,

physiological symptoms: heart racing, nausea and lack of hunger, lightheadedness (leaning against the wall of the changing room while hyperventilating), hands shaking, hyperventilation.. as hawk moth says, her “emotions get so strong that [she] lose[s] control of [her] physical being”

flashbacks: repeated intrusive memories of the locker doors and the bugs crawling out of them; when she yells at Adrien “Leave me alone! I need to be by myself! And stop pretending to be so nice to me” — he isn’t pretending to be nice to her and logically she knows that, but in a flashback state she's not able to override the part of her brain that is panicking

she’s (obviously) very afraid to be in or around the pool with a potential romantic partner

when she sees a picture of Kim on the board when she enters the building and starts freaking out at the reminder of what happened, and presumably at the thought that he might be there at the same time she is

in the literal events of the show, Marinette tells Kim she loves him and he pretends to confess his love in return. he offers her a small jewelry box and when she opens it, expecting jewelry or another small gift, dozens of spiders crawl out onto her instead; she freaks out and tries to get them off of her, scratching at her skin and flailing and consequently falling into the pool. this is in the immediate aftermath of Chloe putting roaches in Marinette’s locker, and she’s the one who gave him the idea to do this (Chloe functions here as a right-wing podcaster in the ear of a high school boy telling them women actually love when men are aggressive <- half joking).

on a symbolic level, bugs are very widely seen as disgusting, as pests, as unclean, as invading and infesting a person’s home, as impossible to get out of your space. roaches are seen as especially disgusting, and spiders are especially seen as dangerous and are one of the most common phobias. obviously suddenly having a bunch of bugs crawling on you is unpleasant, it feels violating and puts you in a position where you lack control and are vulnerable to physical harm (specifically thinking of spider bites, which can range in severity from mild irritation to death).

uncleanliness, disgust, invasion, violation, vulnerability, and obviously danger are all also words that frequently are used by victims of sexual assault when describing the experience and its aftermath. I think the use of bugs specifically is definitely part of why I see it this way, because of that connection between bugs and dirtiness / disgust / invasion.

another aspect of it, though, is the language the characters use when talking about what Kim did. in the immediate aftermath of Kim’s “prank” she runs to the changing rooms and collapses sobbing on the ground. Socqueline tells her it wasn’t her fault to which Marinette says “yes, it was! You were right! I should’ve known, been more prepared… I should’ve had a plan! I should’ve been careful!” this type of self-talk is incredibly common after a sexual assault. the ruminating over the things she could have done differently in order to prevent getting hurt rather than placing the blame on the person who hurt her is especially striking because so, so many survivors struggle with self-blame in the aftermath, especially the immediate aftermath, of an assault. she then starts talking about how she’ll prevent this from happening again, specifically by never confessing her feelings to another boy without knowing everything about him and whether he’s trustworthy. this avoidance of romantic/sexual relationships is also incredibly common after a sexual assault.

I feel like Chat Noir trying to cataclysm Kim makes a lot of sense through this lens, as well — not that learning of a friend being bullied couldn’t provoke someone to violence, but his reaction was, maybe somewhat disproportionate to the event it’s in reaction to* (i support him though). He asks “do you have no shame at all?” and when Ladybug says he’s going to hurt Kim, Chat Noir says “and he’d deserve it!” it’s very reminiscent of how someone who hears of a loved one being sexually assaulted (and believes + supports them) might comment about wanting to hurt them in retaliation. (*although it’s significantly more proportional when considering Marinette’s response to it, since this is clearly something that traumatized her)

when it comes to Kim’s denial that what he did was hurtful — many perpetrators of sexual violence also genuinely believe that their what they did was welcomed / acceptable / funny / etc. when Kim says he “had no idea” that he hurt Marinette, Ondine says “just because you have no idea is no excuse! the pain is still real!”

And then the adrinette conversation at the end… oh mannn.

Marinette: I finally figured it out why I keep making things so difficult — why I'm so afraid of telling you how I feel. I know you'd never mean to hurt me, but… somehow I'm still scared. And, I'm afraid I'll be scared for a long time to come.

Adrien: I'm scared, too. This is all new to me as well. I won't always know how to react. I'm scared of doing something wrong, scared of hurting you, scared of someone else hurting you… scared of losing you. But we're together, you and me, and we'll do whatever we can to help each other. And then together, maybe we'll become less and less scared.

he holds out his hand, she takes it for a second and then drops it.

Marinette: I'm sorry.

Adrien: We've got time.

the lasting fear of being hurt despite logically knowing your partner doesn't mean to hurt you, the fear of physical touch, being scared of continuing to be scared,,, literally just how it feels to have trauma from interpersonal violence it's so precisely what it's like!!! and her apologizing for being afraid because of her trauma is also very real :( i love you Marinette. and Adrien is so kind and patient and accommodating of her, he's such a sweetheart i love him so dearly