this was sort of an inarticulate reaction post I drafted when I woke up to the news of val's passing at 6 am yesterday morning. of course there is so much more to say. it goes without saying that he was one of the best to ever do it, but the effect he had on my own personal life is so huge I feel that I have to get it down somewhere, just to put it outside of me.
with the news of his death yesterday, I lost my absolute favorite part of my absolute favorite movie. his performance as iceman in top gun inspired me to dedicate multiple years of my short life to writing about him, as many of you know, culminating in a 350,000 word project which developed my skills as a writer more than my entire formal education combined. AND his performance in top gun wholeheartedly inspired the 100-page senior honors research thesis I JUST submitted for review, on April 1st, the day he died, on the portrayal of senior military leadership in 20th century military fiction. additionally, my interest in his portrayal as iceman led to my interest in the aerospace industry, and is practically the only reason I am pursuing aerospace as a career, full-time, after I graduate. not to mention how his other movies have affected me; of course I grew up with the prince of Egypt like everybody else, and kiss kiss, bang bang might as well be in my top 4 on letterboxd for how often I rewatch it... plus heat, tombstone, the doors... it goes on and on and on...
I have lost a huge part of myself alongside him. he is without a doubt the sole reason I am who I am today, and he is the reason I will be who I am in the future. I wish I had gotten the chance to thank him for that. I knew, rationally, that I would never meet him--irrationally, though, I always assumed we'd have more time with him. while all I can hope is that he's finally able to rest easy, now, I have to say I wish we hadn't lost him so soon. still: what a joy and what an honor it was to briefly share this life with him.
