you are always going to be scared because living is scary. but would you rather be afraid of suffocation or of change? you know how you feel right now. it’s certain, it’s stagnant. it’s painful, and i can feel it. it’s buzzing like the static of an old television that no one is watching anymore. why would they want to watch something that isn’t alive?

i’ve got hands too. it’s interesting how easily the body can change: testosterone has made them rougher, more muscular and angular. stronger.

i’m sorry. it pains me that you are surrounded by people who refuse to see you. but do they even deserve to? find the ones that do, wherever you can. one bowl is empty. okay. fill up a second one and drink.

there are always going to be people who perceive you incorrectly. let them be wrong. pity them. they’ll never get the pleasure of knowing you.

there are no bad dogs. only bad owners.

so bad that they couldn’t even recognize your breed. i care enough to actually see you for what you are.

you bite. scratch. bark. of course you’re disobedient. what were they expecting?

never let out of your cage. kicked when you beg for scraps that others are hand-fed. yelled at when you don’t come after they call out the wrong name. your bite history is so long that i can taste the blood in my mouth.

it’s not your fault that you were never trained properly. never rewarded. all you needed was to be called a good boy every once in a while.

we are always scared and always wrong. that’s just being alive. it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to live. you’re on this page for a reason. you know what you want already, but it’s okay to need a push.

if you can’t trust yourself, trust me when i say you won’t end up ugly because you will end up as yourself. authenticity is attractive. plus, men are hot. short men? even hotter.

it feels like a divine act because it is one. you are taking control of existence and creating yourself, something not even god could do. how hollow it must feel to be forever stagnant. already finished. don’t you think that’s why god made adam? so he could vicariously experience change?

and out of what? dirt? the dust underneath our feet? practically nothing at all. you’re lucky. you have a much better foundation to work with.

of course not. it’s your job as a cis ally to support the ones who don’t fully get it yet. too many guys are hindering their progress because they don’t have the support they need. thankfully, we have allies like you.

so, how do you spot a guy who needs your allyship in order to reach his full potential?

you don’t need to know me.

all you need to know is that this is inevitable. if you want, you can know my hands and how they feel forcing your thigh down. you can know my fingers, trying to find the right spot, but not caring too much, it doesn’t matter, all that matters is that this gets inside you as soon as possible.

you can know that if there ever was a decision, it has already been made. i made it for you. and yes, i’ll stick my tongue in your mouth the same way i’d snake my fingers around a dog’s teeth so i can shove a pill down its throat.

do you think the dog wants to choke down the pill? of course not. but i know better. i know what’s best for it. what it needs.

loving me is loving you. are you familiar with the roman myth of narcissus and echo?

echo was in love with narcissus, who was in love with himself. her voice was beautiful, admired even by goddesses. and so to punish her, her autonomy over it was taken away. she could only repeat what was spoken by others.

so she repeated after narcissus.

is echo’s fate really a punishment? is it so tragic to become who you love? to love yourself more because of it?

you’re not putty. you’re clay, waiting to be shaped into something that will be cherished. and why wouldn’t you want that?

what comes out of the kiln is adored because of the devotion that went into creating it. the sweat, the blood from the little nicks on your fingers staining the polymer. it wouldn’t be as gratifying to hold in your hands if it suddenly appeared out of thin air, would it?

you are the same. just substitute the clay for flesh and the carving knife for a syringe.