Just Words...

November’s cold has taken me aback.

The cool rushing wind freezes me all over. Starting with my face, then chest, legs…until it takes my breath away.

I gasp for air as I shiver and shake. I close the sliding door as fast as I can.

No longer warm, but very dark, living room stands still; as I sneak around in my warm long socks.

I feel wooden cold floors underneath my feet. I hear a house that creaks with every howl of the wind.

Lonesome street.

Quiet.

Solitude.

A person in sight. White dog and a tall figure. Headphone in. Cap locked in tight.

The wind chimes are ringing to the rhythm of the breeze; making up for the lack of the singing birds.

Gone for the season. Heading south. Leaving nothing but empty nests.

Excitement in the air. The tides are changing.

Orange is still very present, but slowly fading.

Lights are starting to go up and the ‘Sleigh bells ring’ seem to be awakening.

Christmas celebration it’s a month away, but everyone is starting early.

Preparation and gift shopping. ‘Don’t forget the the matching stockings!’

But, I’m, here.

Taking it all in.

Orange is…happiness. Orange is fall. Orange is the pumpkin I picked to make fritters with.

Orange is my worn out sweater and my fuzzy socks; it is the festival we visited with the orange sign, celebrating a year’s worth of harvest.

Orange is the tank top I wore as I looked into your golden eyes when the sun was setting in that orange-y sky.

October, October, gone so soon. We waited all year for you; but just like the phases you said goodbye on a crescent lit moon.

October, my dear, you will be missed. Pumpkin everything will not taste the same; for every little treat took me to a never ending bliss.

Darker nights and shorter afternoons. Falling dead leaves and air so crisp. Now leaving me like smoke in the air so wisp.

Mornings are for walking and stomping on dried branches. Mornings are for walking slowly as we near the lake to watch the ducks swim and the blue heron and egrets eat their morning breakfast.

Watching from a distance and fastening our steps as an already gray sky grows darker.

Gloomy morning, slow morning, lazy morning September is here.

Fall is near. The cool damp air hugs us like a blanket as we take a morning walk among oak trees and its shadows. Late Summer mornings are for breathing in the air and waving at all the neighbors.

Summer afternoons are for sitting on the damp grass as we stare at dragonflies; while my little one points at them as they fly from side to side; and the sun sets at a distance somewhere.

Does he chuckle to himself when he sees them tumbling down, and think to himself “these little men and women are adorable.”

Does he find them funny and cute, the way we do when we see baby animals?

I wonder.

I wonder if God looks down and smiles when he looks at children.

Does he laugh at their personalities and find it curious when they start developing their own characteristics?

Does he smile like and old man sitting on a thrown with white hair,wrinkles on his face and proud eyes, like a grandpa looking at their grandchildren?

I wonder.

I wonder if God hurts when he looks down and he looks at children.

Does his heart break when their bad habits start to show, and reminds him of man’s fall at the garden?

Does he shout “Woe!” unto the world when he sees how our sinful ways have been pass down to them?

I wonder.

I wonder if God breaks when he looks down and he looks at children.

Does he hide his tears from the angels as he sees onto their future?

Does he focus on those that no matter how much love they might receive will turn bad anyway? Or does he focus on those who will make it?

I remember our first kiss. I was nervous and so were you. Neither of us had done this in a while and we were both scared of doing it wrong.

Heart palpitating, hands shaking, scared of doing it wrong. This is the moment, this is all we need, your sweet beautiful company and one more kiss.

You left me in my front door as I longingly say goodbye; I was already starting to miss you and I didn’t even know why.

Fast forward to the future and you’re still here. I thank God for every moment that I get to spend with you; and pray that this feeling stays the same over the years.

Stressed out morning. Rushing to get everything done, shouting children, busy line.

Quiet house, cold floors, sneaky shadow and the refrigerator light; is the only one on. I reach for a cold glass of water as tiny ears appear beside my feet. Teeny tiny kitty cat smelling things around; curious at the distinct smells the fridge has to offer. Late night, soft footsteps, wondering what time it is and feeling content.

Early in the morning, when the world is quiet still; you can hear a singing song far between the trees.

As the coolness of the night starts to leave, and the sun starts to come out for its usual hello, I can hear the birds singing up high as I walk right below.

I see the blue jays! They fly by so fast! The coolness of fall sets in and everything that once was has already passed.

Is for the early risers, for the night walkers and for someone trying to be both.

Early run, passing neighbors, barking dogs, sleeping cars and a overly big raccoon.