Iโve done this.ย Iโm alive because of this.ย
My flat-mateโs date for the night was almost as drunk as her.ย She had passed out in her room and locked the door.ย He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.ย He also demanded food because he was dealing withย โwhiskey dickโ.ย He didnโt like the lack of food in the fridge.ย I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long theย โorderโ was taking.ย He took my phone, demanded theyย โhurry the fuck upโ.ย Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.ย Pressing charges wasnโt necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.ย Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.ย The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.ย
This was 14 years ago.ย ย
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.ย The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
โIf heโs drunk say you want mushrooms.โย I said I want extra mushrooms.
โIf heโs threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.โย I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if heโs blonde, black olives if heโs tall, extra large if heโs tall, etc.
Theyโve heard this sort of coded call before.ย Theyโre trained for it.ย They will understand what youโre saying.ย Order the pizza.
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
gummygunk
jimmyeatworldofficial
