sara loves lizards

lets start using makeup and clothes to look worse

do you guys think jesus was hung

no i think he was crucified

dream job: robert pattinson’s therapist …. i wanna see whats going on up there

Fuck all customers except whoever left us an anonymous store review saying they drive by three other locations to come to ours because they’re bisexual and everyone who works here is hot

A tee shirt that says "I'M JUST HERE TO ESTABLISH AN ALIBI"

i never check my email because then i will have to reply to some of them and that is how you get more emails

if i stay very still and don't make any noise maybe they'll forget that i'm there and leave me alone

do you vibe with her? do her vibes feel like home?

those westerns finally make sense now. it’s like honey i’m going into town. i’ll pick up sugar, flour, beans, salt pork, bullets, and kerosene. do you want a bolt of calico? some maple syrup? i’m taking the wagon i’ll be back in three days

i have to take every single personality quiz i see because i am obsessed with myself and love to answer meaningless questions

i love that stage of being tipsy where youre completely coherent and know exactly whats going on but you feel so loose and free at the same time and your typing skills blow but you can feel the blood flowing throughout your entire body and its just warm and fuzzy and nice and amazing