Gays and Confused

Stay

We stayed in an apartment in the city center, which is close to most of the tourist attractions.

Eats

Fargo - Possibly my favorite meal in town came as a break from paella and bread heavy traditional food. The diner is very trendy and serves vegan and gluten-free organic dishes. It’s popular with Americans.

El Pinton - This spot is perfectly Instagram-worthy. Grab some light tapas and...

El Pasaje Bar - We swung into this bar for some happy hour tapas and glasses of sangria.

Drinks

Luckily we were in town on the weekend and Seville has a vibrant night life. Most of the gay bars are along Alameda de Hércules.

1987 Bar - This is an 80s themed dance club.

Bohemia Bar - You’ll find the bears at this watering hole.

El Bosque Animado - This was my favorite gay bar in town. It was perfectly rowdy but we managed to snag a patio table to sit back at.

El Baron Rampante - This one is similar to the El Bosque and sits next door. Their patios are essentially one.

La Carboneria Bar - If you’re looking for flamenco but don’t want to pay for a show, this bar offers free flamenco performances. But do be prepared for plenty of drunken tourists.

Sights

Cathedral of Seville - Get the best view of Seville by climbing to the top of La Giralda and wait for the bell to ring out.

The Real Alcázar - My favorite site in Seville, the Alcazar is a Moorish palace with impressive tile, gorgeous gardens, and tranquil courtyards.

The Jewish Quarter - If you’re walking around to all of the typical tourist spots, you’ll find yourself strolling through the Jewish Quarter. Slow down, it’s definitely charming.

Plaza de España - You won’t find a stick of shade at this place, we learned that the hard way. It was a sweltering day when we decided to wander around the plaza.

Metropol Parasol - Arguably the largest wooden structure in the world, the Metropol Parasol hovers over a small plaza and marketplace. We stopped here for lunch and of course Instagram opportunities.

Stay

We stayed in the Albayzín neighborhood, one of the oldest areas of town, in an apartment with amazing views of the Alhambra. Pebble paths wind through buildings and reveal cafes and shops. It’s tough to lug your suitcase through but makes for a charming walk.

Eats

Kebab King - Pretty sure this is a chain I’ve seen internationally, but we were starving after an afternoon of hiking around. Our priority was getting fed quickly and this place actually had great reviews.

Omka-Kool - Granada is an amazing mix of Arabic and Spanish cultures and I was eager to see that combination in food. Venture slightly off the beaten path for Moroccan style tapas.

Drinks

Although Granada is on the smaller size, there are a few gay bars to check out.

Tic Tac - On the smaller side but worth a visit for a drink.

El Balcón de la Luna - This is the bigger gay bar with two levels.

Six Colours - This was probably my favorite in Granada. It’s on the smaller side but seemed to have a younger and more diverse clientele than the others.

Shop

Wander around the marketplace in Albayzín for great leather goods, textiles, and ceramics. I came home with several dishes, bowls, and my favorite new picnic blanket.

Sights

The Alhambra - Our first stop in Granada and probably what I was most excited about on this trip. The palace grounds are huge. We were lucky to be staying nearby and walked there, but be warned you’ll be walking a lot. There are several lush gardens and palace buildings with gorgeous tile and fountains. You might recognize a few spots if you watch Game of Thrones.

You’ll have to get your tickets in advance.

Hammam - Aside from the Alhambra, we had booked a spa night at the Hammam that I had been looking forward to for weeks. While the spa has several pools to soak in, the best part is the Ándalus Ritual - you’re lightly massaged and bathed in scented oils. It’s literally all I could talk about for weeks.

Stay

We stayed in a beautiful studio apartment in the city center, Ciutat Vella. It was extremely convenient to everything we wanted to do.  https://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p6211388

Eats

Sagardi - This Basque tapas bar serves bites on toothpicks buffet style. Help yourself and at the end of your meal, your server will count up your toothpicks for your bill. Be sure to grab a glass of Agua de Valencia while you’re at it.

La Valenciana Arroceria - We started out our dinner by being greeted with a glass of vermouth. The restaurant offered a multi-course pre-fixe menu that we shared plus an additional entree. It was way too much food, but we were more than happy with it. After dinner, we gifted a glass of a digestif. Our server offered some of the best service we had at any restaurant in Spain.

Drinks

Sundal - We visited on an off night, so we were only the people in the bar. Still, we were happy to have some gin & tonics with free potato chips. Maybe on your visit the dark room will be busy, too.

Cafe de las Horas - This is a gay friendly cafe with plenty of outdoor seating in the plaza.

Horchatería de Santa Caterina - Drink plenty of horchata when you’re in town. We hit up this spot for some of the sweet stuff. You should also try it with the pastry, a fartón. They’re pretty large, so you may want to share.

Shop

Mercat Central - This market is located in a beautiful gothic building. It’s been updated with plenty of modern touches. We stopped by to sip on sangria and more horchata.

Sights

Playa de la Malvarrosa - The beach is a bit of a trek from the city center, but definitely worth your time. It was fairly quiet when we arrived, which was perfect. We rented an umbrella and chairs right near the water and napped for most of the day.

Platja de l'Arbre del Gos - This is a gay and clothing optional beach south of the city. It’s a much longer trip there, so we didn’t visit. But if you’ve got some time on your hands...

The City of Arts and Sciences - This gorgeous complex holds a museum, aquarium, garden, and opera house. We never went inside but spent a long time wandering the grounds and taking plenty of photos.

Túria River - The river has long since been diverted its banks have become a park that runs through the city. This was one of the only places I saw people actively working out. It’s a beautiful walk and there’s an interesting playground for children with a giant structure of the storybook character Gulliver.

Graffiti - I saw some amazing street art in various plazas and alleyways. Be sure to wander as much as possible.

Stay

We stayed in an adorable apartment in the Gothic Quarter, close to the water but just out of view. It’s such a convenient location but you should also consider staying in Eixample, the gayborhood.

Eats

Everyone knows I hate eating at chain restaurants, but Sensi Tapas, a Barcelona chain, had been highly recommended. A narrow space with exposed stone walls, it’s got a cool modern vibe and delicious bites, so it made the grade for me. You’ll want one of everything and at least one pitcher of sangria.

Barcelona made me break another rule, when traveling I hate hitting up the same spot more than once. But El Casal was an adorable cafe just a few steps from our apartment. It was such a convenient spot for “breakfast” when we were rushing out of the apartment at midday. If you make there before noon, they have a breakfast menu that includes a smoothie, coffee, and pastry.

I probably didn’t get the memo, but why doesn’t anyone in Spain eat breakfast? I mean real breakfast like eggs, bacon, and toast. If you’re starving for a traditional English or American breakfast, check out the Alice in Wonderland themed Milk Bar. We loaded up on mimosas and made friends with the other Americans that packed into the place.

Like all good gays, we carved out an afternoon for shopping and were fortunate to stumble into Bosco for tapas and cocktails. It’s a trendy corner spot just out of the tourist’s view. Surprisingly, they have several veggie tapas on menu. After eating multiple meals made of meat, fried food, and bread, it was such a relief to get greens back in my diet.

On our last night in the city, we opted for a bit an upscale seafood dinner. We headed for the Barceloneta neighborhood, which is full of touristy diners near the beach. You can probably eat at any of them without noticing a difference, but we chose Can Majo, which some friends had recommended.

Drinks

Set out early for the Sky Bar to get a gorgeous view of Barcelona. Watch out for drink prices. We had two gin and tonics for 16€ each. Ouch. We also made the mistake of visiting around midnight and found the entire city was pitch black from that vantage. It was pretty peaceful, though.

Since our trip to Barcelona fell on the early half the week, most of the gay bars were on the slow side. As we were making our way into Arena, I noticed some other guys were handing the bouncer cards for free entry. I asked where I could get one and he sent me a few blocks away to Cafe Bar Punto. We ordered some drinks and the bartender handed us free passes to Arena. This is where we discovered quite possibly the best thing about Spain’s gay bars: free potato chips. Matt was beyond ecstatic for the chips.

After we polished off a bowl of potato chips, we made our way back to Arena. We headed down into the basement for more cocktails and dancing. It might have been slow, but definitely not sleepy. I’m still not sure how it was suddenly 4am when he stumbled out. If you’re looking to make friends, check out the dark room.

We also checked out Metro Bar but unfortunately it was pretty empty that night.

Shop

One of my favorite things was wandering through the market places for fresh fruit and juices. La Boqueria market is the most well known, huge but full of tourists. There are also plenty of small restaurants and bars in the market and nearby. Mercat Santa Caterina is a beautiful modern structure with fewer tourists.

If you’re looking to score some new outfits for your journey, Passeig de Gracia has plenty of clothing stores. We spent an afternoon grabbing cheap Zara and Bershka threads.

Sights

Our trip was inspired by Rick Steves’ Spain Guidebook and we actually followed several of his walking tours. I definitely recommend taking a stroll around town to see the Gaudi architecture.

As if we hadn’t been walking enough, we also spent an afternoon hiking around Park Guell. It’s a bit farther away from the city, but well worth the trip. There’s also a gated area you can pay to visit. When you hike to the top you’ll get some incredible views of the city.

 You also definitely have to check out La Sagrada Familia church. It’s an unfinished Gaudi masterpiece. Their ticketing system lets you purchase tickets for a set time in advance, so instead of waiting in line you can lounge around a cafe with sangria. The foundation has an ambitious goal of completing the church by 2026, the 100 year anniversary of Gaudi’s death.

Art museums are easily my favorite places to visit. The Picasso Museum gives you an in depth look at some of the lesser known works by the artist as well as plenty of historical context. Do yourself a favor, don’t do the math on the dates in the exhibit. I’ll just say Picasso was extremely accomplished at a very young age.

Barcelona was such a fun place to visit and I’ll definitely have to be back, at least in 2026 for the completed Sagrada Familia church.

Gay Type: Twinks

Dog Breed: Pomeranian, Chihuahua

We get it: you’re young and you’re thin and you know all the dance moves to every Beyoncé/Lady Gaga/Britney song at the club. You need a statement breed equally high maintenance but small enough for you to stay in control of. A pomeranian or chihuahua will make for the perfect pup to cradle while out on a Starbucks run. Best of all, when you’re past your prime and work to transition to Twunk status, their tiny stature will accentuate your muscle bod.

Gay Type: Bears

Dog Breed: Cairn Terrier, Schnauzer

As the stockier of the gays, it may be tempting to choose a more masculine dog to emphasize your stature. Resist the temptation and go for a breed that’s equal parts rough and cuddly. Breeds like cairn terriers and schnauzers fit the bill. Mid sized with a stocky build and wiry hair, they’ll be totally masc at the dog park but down to cuddle on the couch.

Gay Type: Otter

Dog Breed: German Shepherd, Australian Shepherd

Otters are the chameleons of the gay world. Your slender frame lets you fit in with the twinks but your body hair and scruff give you masc cred for the jocks. Choose an equally slender and athletic  breed of dog like a German or Australian Shepherd. Both make a suitable companion for shirtless hikes or frisbee games.

Gay Type: Gay Lister

Dog Breed: Labrador Retriever

You’ve moved on up in the world with a professional gig, gorgeous house, and designer duds. Nothing proves you’ve made it in America more than a picket fence breed like a labrador retriever. Sure, it’s a dog that’s going to shed all over the house but you probably already have a maid service anyway. As a bonus, have the dog trained to retrieve cans of beer from the fridge. After a long day of closing deals in the office, you’ll be thankful you did.

Gay Type: Gaymer

Dog Breed: Cat

You have an open disdain for the “scene” and feel more at home with a group of nerd bros. Your type of dog is a cat. I dunno dude, I didn’t make this up.

Stay

In my previous visit, I’d spent nearly my entire trip in the French Quarter. I knew I wanted to explore more of the city and stay a good distance from that scene. We chose to rent an adorable house in the Lower Garden District. This area is a short distance to plenty of attractions but quiet enough for relaxing at home. While it was pretty chilly during our visit, we did brave the cold a few times to walk to the French Quarter.

Eats

I’m gonna be honest, this trip was mostly planned around eating. We booked reservations at several places and arrived armed with lists of New Orleans’ best.

My first New Orleans meal was lunch at Shaya. Order some champagne and share plates of tahini, hummus, and of course brussels.

For New Year’s Eve, we wanted to celebrate in a big way by getting dinner at the type of restaurant we wouldn’t normally go to. We chose Emeril’s Delmonico, which has a much older sensibility of class and elegance. We also got some of the best service I’ve ever had at a restaurant. It was fancy, y’all.

Domilise’s Po-Boy & Bar is a must for indulgent Cajun sandwiches. You should know they’re enormous. The diner also gets pretty crowded, so you’ll have to take a number and wait a while. Luckily, their bar is stocked with awesome craft beers.

Butcher served up some meaty bbq sandwiches, which hit the spot on a cold day. Plus, I needed something to soak up the booze. Done and done. 

My favorite meal of the trip was actually our last dinner at Coquette. You can expect some amazing modern Southern food and I highly recommend getting a bottle of Southern Belle Syrah for your meal.

Drinks

One thing about New Orleans that blows my mind is the number of gay bars in a city this size. And of course I wanted to go to all of them and experience every scene in our community. We spent the better part of our NYE at Oz, which is the obvious and more traditional gay club. 700 Club is a more relaxed but still lively bar and was one of my favorite spots. Corner Pocket is an amusing cross between a divey pub and a strip club. Mag’s 940 hosts music and variety shows but was pretty slow the night we stopped in. The bartender was super friendly and gave us some popcorn. I’m not sure if that’s a regular thing but I like to think it was special to us. We also checked out one of New Orleans’ more debaucherous venues, Phoenix Bar. I like to say nothing shocks me, but the dark room upstairs literally kept me wide eyed all night. It’s a part of gay culture I’m glad to see still exists and stays away from the mainstream.

Shop

Aside from stuffing my face, I spent quite a bit of money at various shops around town.

Zéle Market is a multivendor indoor marketplace. I picked up some amazing candles by Mad Darling and I’m completely obsessed with them. But I really wish I’d picked up some furniture, too.

Defend New Orleans has plenty of edgy NOLA inspired wares and provisions. Grab one of their graphic tees for a subtle souvenir of your visit. The Join DNO tee was my favorite. Get yourself one and let’s be twins.

While wandering around Frenchmen Street, stumble into Frenchmen Art Market for an interesting mix of arts and crafts.

Sights

There are plenty of museums and tourist sights to see, but this trip I decided to focus less on those. 

No matter where I go, I definitely want to see good art. New Orleans Museum of Art made for an inspiring afternoon. Their floor featuring Mesoamerican and other native art was especially intriguing. 

I have a soft spot for goth, but New Orleans cemeteries are really beautiful and definitely a must if you’re visiting town.

Stay

We stayed in the perfect townhome in the West End that was walking distance to Stanley Park and Davie Street. Most of the things I researched for Vancouver were in this area and we didn’t venture out of the West End/Downtown areas. Obviously I need to make a trip back and see the rest of the city.

Eats

Vancouver’s food scene was probably the most impressive to me on our PNW excursion.

Our first night in, we headed to Forage, a farm-to-table restaurant that serves up modern Canadian cuisine. As you may expect, the menu features shareable plates organized as snacks, land, soil, sea, and sweets. For a party of two, our waiter recommended 2-3 plates. This was definitely my favorite meal in the city.

For lunch, you’ll absolutely need to stop into Meat and Bread, a sandwich spot that takes the most classic meal to another level. Not only are these some of the most delicious sandwiches you’ll ever eat, the beauty of the chain is in their simplicity with each location offering a couple of items and a daily special. Plus, their design aesthetic is on point and perfect for Instagram.

For low priced breakfast staples, hit up The Templeton, an adorable vintage diner complete with jukeboxes. Grab a seat at the bar and chow down.

Sushi Itoga offers great sushi in a casual setting. The diner is cozy with communal seating and features an interesting design with white shipping pallets covering the walls and a few Japanese masks on display.

Drinks

At this point in our trip we were losing steam in our quest for libations. But we did stop into Gas Town’s Six Acres for a happy hour and were not disappointed. It’s a cozy old building with exposed brick walls and an excellent selection of beer, wine, and cocktails.

If you’re looking to grab a drink with the family, head on down to Davie Street. Although, you must be warned that most places will have a line to wait in regardless of how full or empty they may be. Our first stop was 1181. This bar is essentially a hallway and probably best to hit up early for a drink. It wasn’t busy during our visit but I imagine it can be a tight squeeze with a crowd. Junction is allegedly the spot for twinks while Numbers has a few areas for pool and dancing (and a cast member from Queer as Folk allegedly tends bar). Score on Davie gives gay sports enthusiasts a place to watch the game and nosh on bar food. XY seemed a little more alternative, greeting us with a bear doorman in a jockstrap and an interesting drag show inside. During our visit, the leather bar Pumpjack Pub had the biggest crowd and gave us quite the shower show.

Shop

One of my favorite things about the city was the abundance of boutiques and shops.

If only I had more room in my luggage and dollars in my bank account. The menswear shop Nifty Do sells plenty of lumbersexual apparel, fine leather goods, and selvedge denim. It’s exactly what I want my closet to look like.

If you want the home to go with that, you’ll find the wares at the general provisions store Old Faithful Shop. Their goods will have your place looking like a photo spread in Cereal or Kinfolk magazine in no time.

If you know me at all, you know I’m always trying to make thrift shopping work for me. Community Thrift and Vintage is a well curated shop and I picked up a couple of handkerchiefs that I’m trying to incorporate into my outfits as much as possible.

Meadow is an adorable gift shop that caters mostly to women, but of course that doesn’t keep the gays away. Richard and I picked up matching dainty waxed linen bracelets as souvenirs of our trip.

Sights

We were lucky to be staying so close to the beach and Stanley Park. We spent an entire day strolling through the park, checking out the rose garden and totem poles. Running along the sea wall made for an amazing morning work out.

There’s also some great art on display throughout the city. Be sure to check out Digital Orca and A-maze-ing Laughter, a collection of 14 bronze statues featuring the artist in different phases of hysterical laughter.

Vancouver is such an amazing city filled with art and outdoor activities. It was the perfect way to end the big trip. The next time I visit, I’ll definitely need to get out of the city and go hiking. Until next time, Van!