The Garden

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Oh thanks for writing in anon, absolutely happy to answer!

So writing is itself intimately connected to following a character’s perspective – whoever you are following around, be that via third person limited, first person, or even second, is going to color the things that get pointed out in your writing. Effective writing helps you get a sense of what’s in a certain character’s head. 

Let’s contrast this with the medium of film (or television). In this case you have a heavily visual medium where we watch a story play out; but all of our knowledge of the character’s thoughts and feelings are implied by what we see and hear. Writing, you can get to that through the text. 

Of course, effective writing does follow the ‘show don’t tell’ modicum, but we rarely think or understand exactly what we feel immediately. I would say the experience of watching a film is more similar to watching people around you and trying to figure out what they’re thinking based on what they do (both publically and privately). Writing is itself more like being inside a person’s head– so the limitations of the way we experience a written story are often dictated by what a single character experiences; and how they react to those experiences. 

So what does all this have to do with writing smut? Well, because a lot of people are self-conscious about writing sex, sometimes people slip into “describing a film mode” when writing a smut scene, rather than focusing on how a character experiences the play-by-play of the sex choreography. 

This can be for several reasons, but I feel like there are two most common ones. First, the writer themselves feels self-conscious about the fact they’re writing smut and wants to feel a degree removed from the experience of it. Or second, the writer is using visual pornography as a reference, possibly because they have never themselves had sex (not an evil thing! you can totally write effective smut without having that experience ^^ And there’s a whole side-rant about smut needing to be ‘realistic’ – I’d say the jury’s out on that one and while I personally find certain kinds unrealistic smut takes me out of the situation, other people find fantasy smut super hot; so I wouldn’t take ‘unrealistic’ as necessarily a reason your smut isn’t working) . 

But in either case, it’s really something that will take people out of your story and make your smut less effective. If the problem is the former case, the writer might want to take a step back from smut writing and reassess their comfort zone. I’m adamant you should write smut because you want to and not because you think it’s something your readers expect. But that said, I can offer some tips (if you want!) if you think that you! (on another ask, this is getting too long lol)

If it’s the inexperience/treating the scene as a porno to be described, that’s actually much more easily fixed. In that case just treat the scene you’ve written as a map, and then go through it line by line and try and adjust the descriptions to be about the sensations and experiences of the POV character, rather than just a picture on a screen. 

It’s not a crime to describe something visually or take a moment to make sure the reader knows where everyone’s limbs are…but consider, is that something your POV character would notice, and find sexy? If not, there’s a good chance your reader doesn’t need that information to find the scene sexy :) 

GO YOU! Yesss, amazing! Bless us with your dirty talent! I just wanted to give you a few tips to writing smut, so it comes across as realistic. You don’t have to use them, but if you do want to write realistic smut, here’s a few pointers!

- unless a dude swallowed the little, blue pill, he can’t be sucked dry and then start pounding you! No sir, not today! After a dude shoots, oftentimes, he’ll be done for a few. Some men need hours to get ready again, some need minutes, some can’t do anything the rest of the day

- women’s nails can hurt (all nails can), so if you’re writing female on female, ain’t nobody got beautiful, long almond shaped nails. That shit will rip you up

- BRAS AND PANTIES CANNOT BE RIPPED WITH BARE HANDS UNLESS THERES HOLES IN IT. Trust me. Take an old bra, and try to rip it. It cannot!

- if you want to write actual BDSM or sub/dom, that’s great! But do some research (NOT PORN) first. Sub/dom isn’t all about nicknames and facefucking. Bdsm isn’t all about spankings.

- generally, research! If you’re unsure about a part of smut, google it. Research how and why.

- porn is rarely good for inspiration. Porn is very much posed through out, and most of the positions aren’t actually comfortable or sexy

- ANAL NEEDS A LITTLE WARM UP AND A LOT OF LUBE!! You can’t just stick your ding in at first try. You gotta work the booty first. And you need a LOT of lube

- not all women can come. Some can only come through clit, some (few) can come from penetration and some need both. Some can’t at all.

- SQUIRTING IS A THING BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN

- sperm tastes weird (just an FYI). It isn’t salted caramel (yes, I’ve read that as a description)

- sometimes you can’t get wet. Head is horny, body is not. It happens

- foreplay is important! Ain’t nobody just sliding into your cave of wonders without a little something first

- some women needs toys during sex to reach climax

- ITS REALLY HARD COMING AT THE SAME TIME

- men experience tingles in the head right before they come, and the balls tighten up

- also, they really don’t notice your walls fluttering. It’s not a thing. Yes, a vagina can pulsate after an orgasm, but they really don’t notice. They love sex, buuuuuut they don’t notice a lot except YES WARM YES SOFT I WILL SEX IT (my boyfriend helped with this point, so thanks)

- if a dude comes in you, and you don’t wash your hahoo right after, it well smell. Not necessarily bad, but it’ll smell like juices from man and woman.

- losing your virginity shouldn’t hurt. Honestly. If it bleeds or hurts, the vag wasn’t ready for penetration. The hymen won’t hurt when it breaks (maybe for 10 % who are very sensitive down there)

- NO CONDOM AMD NO PEEING RIGHT AFTER SEX CAN LEAD TO AN UTI. Trust me.

- RESEARCH KINKS BEFORE USE. Stuff like daddy kinks are often pretty straight forward, but check up on it before writing it

- don’t sissor your fingers in the vagina. Firstly it’s not sexy or comfortable, secondly ITS REALLY HARD TO DO.

- fisting is not an actual fist. Pretend your hand is a duck beak. That’s how you do it (or research. NOT PORN)

- lastly, remember porn and other smut isn’t necessarily true. It’s fantasy. You don’t have to write about those things, unless you want to. You do you! Write some hot sex!

- it’s not a bad thing: do use scarce dialogue. you neither let the action become overwhelming nor do you distract from what’s happening.

- if you find yourself cringing, describe physical details you’re comfortable with. focus, show the specifics, show the surroundings.

- characterizations can make your readers hornier than you might assume.

- the same goes for endearing and funny moments.

- a couple might have recurring sexual patterns. still, write yourself a reminder to switch up positions, clothes, atmosphere and the like if you plan several smut scenes. it’s easy to forget about when you’re in the zone.

- trust nouns and verbs to stand for themselves. sounds complicated but it’s straightforward: a stiff manhood sounds better as an erection, caressing hotly sounds better as stroking.

- ppl who ace action genres are the best nsfw writers. there’s no way around it.

- protected sex can be hotter than you think. latex is a fetish with good reason. the lewdest shit can be done with condoms, anyway.

Written by: spencerreidsmiles 

Hey friends! I saw this post by @writefasttalkevenfaster​ about Hotch getting arrested and I was inspired to write my own fic about what would happen if Spencer got arrested! It’s a light, fun fic with no angst in sight! Also, here’s @writefasttalkevenfaster‘s fic (A Promise Amongst the Storm) if you wanted to give it a read! 

Trigger Warnings: strong language

MASTERLIST

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to freak out-”

You rolled your eyes.  It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that line. Your boyfriend, Spencer, could be very anxious sometimes, so most of the times when he told you not to freak out, he’d just misplaced your phone charger or forgotten to defrost the chicken for dinner. 

“Why would you say that? Of course I’m going to freak out if you tell me not to freak out? What did you do, Spencer?” you asked. You propped your phone between your cheek and ear as you speed-walked through the halls of your office building. 

“Imighthavegottenarrested,” Spencer said, all of his words blending together. 

“What? Spencer, slow down. I can’t understand you when you’re saying a thousand words in a second.”

Spencer sighed nervously before repeating slowly, “I might have, um, gotten arrested.” 

You paused in the middle of the hallway, practically screeching to a halt. What did he say? Not to freak out? Yeah, there was no way that was happening. “YOU WHAT?!”

“I said don’t freak out!” he sputtered. 

“Spencer Reid, you absolute DUMBASS, what did you do? Are you okay? What happened?” You grabbed the phone from your cheek and started to straight up shout into your phone. Your co-workers turned around with both horrified and concerned looks on their faces. “Give me a second, Spencer, I’m going to the bathroom so I can yell at you in peace.” 

“Y/N, we didn’t mean to get arrested-” he began to explain. 

“WE?! Who’s with you?!” 

You heard a small yell from the background of Spencer’s call that sounded sort of like a “Hi, Y/N! Sorry for getting your boyfriend arrested!” 

“Garcia and Morgan,” he admitted. 

“Garcia and Morgan?! Why?!” You should have guessed. Those three always got into some trouble when they were together. 

“Um, well, Garcia and I were getting coffee together and some weird guy tried flirting with her and obviously, she didn’t like that and you know Garcia, she’s not going to stay quiet about that, so she told the guy off and she’s my friend, so I defended her, and then Morgan showed up for his coffee and when he saw someone making unwanted advances on Garcia, he HAD to get involved and he might have ended up punching the guy in the face…sorry.” 

You were absolutely speechless. Hearing this story from literally anyone else would have been absurd, but this was really just on-par for the course for Spencer and his friends. It didn’t make it any better though. He was still a dumbass, even if what he  did was right. 

After checking that the bathroom was completely empty, you placed your phone on the sink counter and put Spencer on speaker. You leaned against the sink and splashed cold water on your face. Right, so it wasn’t a dream. Great. 

“You’re an idiot, you know that, right?” you asked. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. His voice was sad and you could picture his face right now with his sad little puppy dog eyes and pouty lips. You sighed. You couldn’t even see his face in person but those eyes were working on you. You couldn’t be mad at him, especially when the only reason he got arrested was because he was defending one of his best friends.

“I know, babe. Do you need me to come bail you out?” 

“No, Garcia called Hotch, so he’s coming to get us soon.”

You snorted. Maybe you would spare Spencer the earful when he got home since Hotch would definitely handle that for you. Well, maybe you’d just have a little bit of fun first. 

“Alright, Spencer. Be safe there. We all know you’re a twig, so if you piss anyone off in there, they’ll snap you in half.”

You heard Morgan and Garcia’s distinctive laughs in the background. You smirked. You couldn’t let Hotch be the only one ragging on Spencer, could you? That wouldn’t be fair. After all, teasing him was your right as his girlfriend. 

“Y/N!” 

“Love you, babe. See you at home.” 

“Love you.”

“Oh and Spencer? Don’t you ever tell me not to freak out again.” 

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,257

Warnings: mention of accident, mention of blood

A/N: I’m sorry this took longer than usual but it’s pretty long so yay! I hope you’ll like this chapter. We’re slowly getting there :’) Thank you for the feedback, I truly appreciate all of you! Also 1 marvel quote and several Bob Ross quotes that I obv don’t own.

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

Good luck on your interview xx

Bucky had just hit ‘send’ when Sam cleared his throat noisily, drawing Bucky’s attention away from his phone. His friends were frowning crossly at him, their glasses raised in a silent toast. He set his phone face-down on the table and picked up his glass.

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 3,734

Warnings: none

A/N: If this chapter had a name it would be “me, you, and steve’. Also I know how infuriating they are, so oblivious and dumb but isn’t it the point of pining ;) Thanks for your patience!

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

Bucky’s cab pulled over to the curb in front of his building. He tugged on the lapels of his coat, pulling it tighter around him, and braced himself for the blast of cold air waiting for him on the other side.

He hated the cold, hated winter. It reminded him of the day he lost his arm, alone on that godforsaken mountain until Steve found him. But he could deal with the cold if it meant he’d find you on the other side of that door.

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,480

Warnings: none

A/N: This is long overdue, sorry - hopefully it’s worth it. It’s also incredibly long… idek anymore. I want to thank you all for your patience and support. It means a lot to me.

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

You grumbled into your pillow when you heard your phone buzz on the bedside table. Cracking one eye open, you lifted your phone and squinted to read the neon numbers showing on the screen.

7:12 a.m.

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 4,327

Warnings: panic attacks, Bucky recalls his accident

A/N: I don’t have much to say, Bucky’s real emotional in this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter :’) 

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

Everywhere Bucky looked his eyes and ears were assaulted by a cacophony of sounds and colours. Red and green baubles hung from the ceiling, shimmering like disco balls and sending sparkles around the mall.

The air smelled like pine and cinnamon, something he usually liked, but it was so pungent and unpleasant that it made his stomach churn and bile rise up his throat. He tried to breathe through his mouth, forcing oxygen into his lungs.

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 4,569

Warnings: none

A/N: Let me just thank you for your support, it’s so heartwarming and I love you so much. I’m sorry this chapter is so long, I have no idea how that happened. I hope you enjoy this :’)

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

After you agreed to move in with Bucky and become a full time artist, everything started to move incredibly fast. The dinner went well, you worked out the details of your contract with Sam and Nat who didn’t seem surprised that this was happening.

You left your job almost overnight, only giving them two weeks’ notice. They easily found a new breakfast attendant and you even trained your replacement. You emptied your locker, returned your name tag and your master key, and went on your merry way.

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 4,128

Warnings: none

A/N: This chapter is quite long, Bucky opens up a little and they discuss the possibilities of starting a sugar daddy relationship. Thank you for reading, I hope you’ll like this chapter :’) As always if you’re a wannabe sugar daddy, don’t interact with this post.

Bucky looked around the coffee shop, his knee bouncing up and down in an erratic rhythm. He looked over his shoulder at the restroom door and bit his lip in thought. You’d been in there for a couple of minutes and he was starting to worry you were going to leave through the back door.