Mecha-Satan Jr

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

reblog to absolutely bap prev to death with your paws

I think The Nights by Avicii was the best choice NGL

Drinking game but it's to keep you hydrated instead of getting you drunk

tricking you into drinking water the way I do with my snake

Once you learn that the megalodon mostly lived in relatively shallow waters you’re like okay yeah people thinking it’s still alive is just wishful thinking huh

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

theyre putting something in the water that makes you pee.

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.

Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

The thing is sometimes you really do have to chuckle darkly

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

for the lovely lovely deafies out there who want to get involved in direct action you absolutely 100% cannot ever bring a hearing aid or cochlear implant with bluetooth to any direct action. bluetooth devices all carry a unique signal that can be used to identify you if it's picked up at a direct action. go with a [more] hearing buddy and communicate in sign language. if you don't mutually know a sign language then come up with gestures. do not risk your freedom because you want to have your hearing aid/cochlear implant at the action. it's not worth it.

flock cameras are also now tracking bluetooth device signatures when you pass them. if you drive past a flock camera with your bluetooth-enabled hearing aid or cochlear implant, the flock camera knows you passed through

Wait I just realized this is gonna apply to all cgms and most if not all insulin pumps. They’re all Bluetooth devices, it’s essential to how they work

I did not think it possible, but I have just developed even more hatred, derision, and contempt for the perpetual surveillance state.