In my mind

photo by chloekphotography

Do you think Grace sees Rocky stretch one day on the Hail Mary and he says out loud without thinking “biiiggg stretch!” And Rocky is like “what’s big stretch mean. Question? Why Grace say that?” And Grace has to explain that humans have furry creatures they keep as pets and whenever they stretch, humans say that and Rocky remembers it. It becomes a problem when Grace is stretching and he hears Rocky say “Grace do biiiiggg stretch. Statement.”

are straight people okay, I legit just watched a woman say that texting first is a blue job and waiting and replying is a pink job when it comes to dating. It has 40 thousand likes and several comments agreeing

one really really really funny thing you realize when you are studying history is that people pretty much always desperately wanted to post online and would have been soooooo fucking crazy on here. i wish hildegard of bingen was oomf

I went to the forest that makes you have multiple pronouns and accidentally touched some poison ivy there

now I'm it/she

OH COME THE FUCK ON

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something

lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.