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Band of Brothers AU — Western (personal remake) Carwood Lipton & Ronald Speirs

V-day!

Winnix: Dick refuses to download tiktok. He lies in bed staring at the ceiling while Lew giggles beside him and endlessly scrolls into the wee hours.

Spierton: Ron also refuses to download tiktok. Carwood only has it downloaded because so many of the other guys have sent him links for tiktoks, that it's just easier to have the app and check it every few days.

Baberoe: Eugene has it downloaded and will occasionally scroll, but mostly he just lays in bed and watches Babe scroll through his own FYP. They eventually use tiktok quotes as a form of communication.

Webgott: Webster was against it at first, he's too academic for something so mind numbing. Lieb is the first to download it and casually scroll. Soon it consumes Webster and Lieb can't stand it.

hey yall sorry for inactivity!!!! i am feeling quite insane and can’t stop thinking about this so i present you with this :3

webgott - david calls joe liebling because he is obsessed with the fact that the german word for darling is so close to joe’s name. he also calls joe honey and and joe pretends to hate it but actually is Absolutely Obsessed with it. joe calls david davey but only when he’s feeling especially tender and sweet.

baberoe - gene absolutely smothers babe with a bunch of random french petnames. a personal favorite of mine is mon cœur which means my heart or mon ange which means my angel. babe likes to call gene baby or love or genie.

luztoye - joe definitely calls george sugar, i don’t make the rules. george likes to call joe stud muffin as a joke but calls him sunshine when he’s feeling especially loving.

winnix - they aren’t big on petnames, but lew loves to call dick honey and dick calls lew dear like an old married couple.

I looooove my ships!!

Speirton

They’d find every excuse to bunk together.

“I’m company lieutenant, it’s just easier that way.”

“No one else will bunk with Speirs, I got it”

It’s like a scarier Winnix ngl, constantly seen with each other and on the rare occasion they’re not, they still know where the other is.

Lip is the dominant one

Speirs just likes being taken care of in the bedroom🙂‍↕️

They switch though. Sometimes Lip bottoms

Easy Co. Just figured they were together so when they got caught one night in Austria no one batted an eye

When Speirs is flying off the handle when Grant gets shot someone comes running for Lip because he’s the only one who can talk him down

The guys start calling Speirs “papa Speirs” since Lip is “mama Lip”

Baberoe

Before the Bois Jacques, Babe would make excuses to be close to Gene.

“Doc, can you look at this splinter?”

“Doc, do you need a hand?”

They both danced around their feelings in fear of rejection

But Babe got frustrated after Jackson died and kissed Gene.

Gene has maaaaajor religious guilt at first, Babe not so much since he came from a big city.

They’re switches, but Gene loves being fucked by Babe.

They got found out because Spina of all people, walked in on Babe on his knees for Gene.

“Doc- WHAT THE FUCK?”

Webgott

Everyone thinks they hate each other.

They’re polar fuckin opposites and they bicker.

Joe shows his love in a special way

“Web, put your fuckin helmet on. Can’t go losing the only good part of you now can we?”

Web would read books to Joe aloud when he asked when they had time to themselves.

First time they had sex was a rage fueled hate-fucking after they fought.

Everyone thinks Web would be bottom, but Lieb loooves being under Web.

Welsh found them out. Tried to go looking for hooch in a basement of a blown out building and found Web bending Joe over a table.

oh gosh, this one is too easy, because you  k n o w  who the divas are

WINNIX

when they first move in together, dick is honestly baffled.

how many bottles of cologne can one man have?  they’re all different scents?  he’s not even sure nix shaves every day, how and why does he have so many creams?

nix likes to smell nice, okay.  when you’ve got alcohol literally leaking out of your pores, you’ve got to put in effort not to walk around reeking like a distillery.  it helps that he’s got contacts with this cologne company in paris, and his sister is a bit of a beauty guru who’s constantly gifting him products...

he’s got a collection, okay?   dick has some hair creme and cologne for special occasions, but that’s it.  he doesn’t know what 90% of the things in their cabinet are, and at this point, he’s afraid to ask.

SPEIRTON

speirs hoards hair products.  this...  shouldn’t be a surprise.

lipton didn’t know what conditioner was before meeting speirs.   with all due respect, his hair isn’t the most...  luscious.   all he’s really done before was shampoo it, wash it out, and comb it back.  lip is a ‘meticulously-organized-bathroom-cabinet’ person, not a clutter person.

thankfully, speirs is very organized too.  he color-codes his clutter, so it’s not a big deal.

lipton has a shampoo he’s committed to, a toothpaste he’s used for years, and a cologne he bought ages ago and has worn...  maybe twice.

speirs likes to experiment with different brands and different scents.  it’s all very manly.  he was tempted to buy cherry blossom-scented soap once, just because it smelled gorgeous; he only refrained because it was obscenely overpriced.

BABEROE

babe gets so used to living with his bathroom cabinets overflowing with crap  ---  none of it his  ---   that when bill moves out, taking his many male beauty products with him, it’s a little jarring.

the bathroom cabinets look...  lonely.

it doesn’t help that gene’s, like, really minimalist.  he’s been using the same brands for years, and they suit him just fine.  his four bathroom products, added to babe’s five, and their cabinets are...  pretty damn depressing.

since neither of them are really the “cologne and hair gel” type, babe’s at a loss.  they have to fill it with something...  so, when he’s helping his mom clean out her attic one day, and finds a box of action figures from his childhood, he gets an idea.

gene opens the cabinet the next morning to be met with...  a dozen mini superheroes, and a handful of gi-joes.

and babe’s just getting started.

their cabinets are full of clutter, but none of it’s actually useful.   trinkets babe picked up at the dollar store, cool stones gene found, spare change, little gifts gene’s pediatric patients make him...   they have the most colorful bathroom cabinets, and both are very happy with the chaos they find inside every morning.

WEBGOTT

oh my god, have you seen both of these mens’ hair???  

they need product galore.  they hoard the stuff.  liebgott’s got the silky-smooth texture, but web’s got volume, and they both have their own brands of shampoo they’re committed to.  (web’s smells like kiwi; lieb is a honeysuckle guy.  honestly, they both use womens’ shampoo, and they’re not ashamed of it.)

web also has so much body wash that he frankly Does Not Need.

their shower racks are overflowing, and don’t even open the bathroom cabinet.  weirdly enough, lieb takes better care of his skin than web  ---  he’s constantly nagging web about getting sunburned while out on his boat at all hours.  lieb works hard to look good, and if that means exfoliating cream, he’ll use it.

LUZTOYE

so, neither of them are big on beauty regimes.  joe’s very smart about his deodorant, and takes care of his hair, but he doesn’t go overboard.  george’s hair is more floppy, and one of his sisters is a stylist, so she’s taught him how to take care of it; he’s a got a few shampoos-and-conditioners cluttering the shower, and one always manages to fall on joe’s foot when he’s in there.  whoops.

they’ve also got apricot scented shaving cream.  it was a gift from joe’s oldest sister.  they think it was a joke, but it’s actually great, so they both use it.