Something something Tomb Raider

shlap shlap shlap shlap (sound of my titties hitting the bars in my minecraft jail )  let me out! let me outtttt!

you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

if you're queer you have to grow old. they're going to need you so it's imperative that you live to at least 140. eat more carrots

girl nothing is ever gonna be all the way together just enjoy the bits and pieces #yourfragments

countries will be like “nooooo our birth rate is falling exponentially and it’s effecting our economy” and immigrants will be like “hey can you let us in so we can boost your economy and fill your empty jobs and raise our children here” and inevitably the country is like “the only thing worse than a large scale collapse of our population is letting foreigners live here”