No, nope, no, I do not already have longstanding feelings for you that started the day I met you and that havenāt gone away despite my best efforts, and I donāt know where you read that but it was fake news. And see, now Iām gaslighting you, which everyone knows is poison to relationships! This is a bad idea already! I never shouldāve told you, and I should have just let you woo me just to cut you off before it went anywhere serious because that would be easier than trying to figure this out! For one, Iām fairly certain itās not allowed, or at least, not in the way I always imagined exploring this⦠whatever we have. For another, just liking each other is different than dating, so we have no way of knowing if itāll impact us differently in our academic lives! I donāt think Iāll change either, or at least I hope I wonāt, because I really like who I am, but so many people change just because the guy theyāve been fantasizing about for years finally notices them and what if deep down, I was always that weak person and we just didnāt know it? And what if we donāt learn how to be good partners together? I donāt want to try this just to fuck around. Iām not even sure I want to try it at all but if I do, itās for the long haul, Gabriel, not for some āyouāre cute and fun and Iāll always be happy you were my first but not my lastā bullshit.
THE DAY WE MET? Weāve both been into each other SINCE WE MET and it took this long for you to give any indication that I wasnāt just flirting in vain!? As good as you are at HIDING YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME, youāre not that good at gaslighting me, so who cares. This is a great Idea and I get that youāre talking yourself out of this because youāre scared, but quit it. I know figuring out what this is will be kind of rough and not at all what you want to do, but I have faith that this will all work out for us in the end. How have you always imagined exploring this??? I donāt study already, so itās not like me spending my time on you you would ruin my GPA and I know you wouldnāt just let me have the upper hand. Also it is literally impossible for you to secretly be weak, so Iām not even going to entertain that notion because itās stupid. I donāt want this to be just a mess around thing either. The way I see it, the only reason we wonāt learn to be good partners together is because weāll just fall into being great together naturally. I think we really have the potential to be something amazing. Definitely not some short littleĀ āfirst but not the lastā thing, the way I see it, you just might be the Only One.Ā