Sue Perkins

I once got into a hot tub with a shaman at about five AM. He said he was a shaman, he was called John and he was wearing a grass skirt. And he basically said he wanted to perform a ritual, a cleansing ritual which involved blowing raspberry vodka up my arsehole. And I went with it, because I'm very open, and I don't wish to be in any way demeaning to other people's beliefs. […] It was a very intense experience, I will say. It was very well-aimed and unforgettable. […] It was then he said, "I can sense you. I can sense you're unresolved." Everybody in the world is unresolved, but they always get you with that. […] He said, "There's two things I can do in this situation." And he genuinely said: "But I don't have my eagle feather with me." […] It was just, bang, it was like an explosion from his mouth. And, you know, yes, there was an awakening. So in many ways he achieved the desired effect, which was: I was not unresolved anymore, I was very resolved to never be in a foaming hot tub ever again.

In a VERY memorable episode, national treasure and former ‘Bake Off’ co-host Sue Perkins discovers an unexpected loophole in the dream restaurant’s ordering process.

Listen to Sue’s podcast ‘Sue Perkins: An hour or so with…’ on Audioboom or wherever you get your podcasts.

Follow Sue Perkins on Twitter @sueperkins

Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.

Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).

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And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.