you know what they say….. a btich can never have too much fruit 

whoever has my voodoo doll pls kiss it’s forehead i need it

The Princess Diaries (2001) may only have a 47% on rotten tomatoes but it will always have a 100% in my heart

the “in this essay, i will” memes are the most wholesome of the current popular memes because as well as being genuinely hilarious, they encourage deep, analytical thinking which often produces profound statements. in this essay, i will 

gay rights is letting me have whatever i want for free

I hate it when vodka tries to be fancy and use fancy adjectives to describe their products like I’m drinking fucking gasoline okay like this isn’t wine tasting we’re all here to get black out trashed and you know it

COOLIN

Marilyn ain’t got shit on this man

Wow.. she has such a way with worms…

waiter: how’s your meal? shakira: it’s wonderful thanks shakira’s hips: she hates it shakira: son of a

Who is going to tell men that repeating phrases from popular television shows and hating female celebrities isn’t a personality

Bazinga

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