I need to make you cum for purely selfish reasons

#I HAVE WAy MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CAT THAN I DO THE TITANIC OR THE NOTEBOOK OR THAT BULLSHIT

he has CAT TEARS.

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

this post is transcendent

2018 was five years ago let that sink in

no no guys you don’t get it i made this fucking post in 2018. as a joke. i was like hah could you imagine it being 2023? could never be me! and then completely forgot until right now when someone reblogged it and i was forced to face the horror that it is, in fact, the year 2023 right now.