remember

i think fat girls should walk around in crop tops booty shorts buzzcuts dyed hair piercings no bra killing and maiming all who stand in their way with weapons before sitting down for some yummy ice cream and so forth. it's the only way.

there's a new social cue coming out. no we're not telling you about it

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

I face-timed to ask if he waved, and he (again, very calmly and politely) explained that while yes, he did wave, they were already above the clouds and thus it would have been impossible for me to see. I decided not to press the matter bc it was honestly really cute that he'd actually waved

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

(no beers in) what is every thought you’ve ever had about me ever

The operative fantasy of Hi-Chew is being able to safely eat a yummy piece of plastic

I took your skull off display because my guests kept saying it looked noticeably gayer than the other skulls

can i come over and touch your things and belongings

it’s so special to me that so much of fan culture is textual analysis for the love of the game. like thank god there are people in my phone who are also thinking about this thing i love so much that they are writing transformative fiction as character studies and setting clips of the show to music with theme-relevant lyrics and writing long text posts analyzing every line of dialogue like!! yay!!!

Most things have a secret cuteness if you look deep enough