i mean this forever.

i need 50 thousands hours of kissing

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

dear mister "beast..." i am going to kill you with my dual shadow moon katanas on june 15th 2026 at 8:30 pm pacific time

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

i thought that was just. a regular tumblr post and accepted it

full of hate and malice...you know how it is with me...

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector