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no rizz. just insane music taste & a peculiar amount of knowledge about very niche topics and historic events

My favorite words are Fun Fact and Did you know

they’re called. th. they’re called responsibilities bechause theyh keep fucking respawnjng

august, september, halloween, november, december

I think you mean august, september, halloween, turkey, christmas

I believe it’s spelled hot as balls, fuck it it’s school again, halloween, turkey, christmas

don’t forget new years, forever alone, windy as fuck, shit its raining, allergies, oh hey its actually decent, wait nevermind

is it just me or does christmas feel weird this year

IT’S NOT JUST YOU SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS

MAKE IT STOP

My favourite Christmas carol is silent night because of the line “holy infant, so tender and mild” because I like to imagine the baby Jesus as a chicken wing

how pissed would you be if you opened this on christmas

my pARENTS JUST SAID THEY GOT A CHRISTMAS TREE OH MY GOD WE HAVEN’T HAD A CHRISTMAS TREE IN YEARS

I don’t understand Christmas movies where Santa exists and the adults don’t believe in him. Because if he exists in the story, that means he’s delivering presents to everyone, including the kids of the skeptical adults, and so those skeptics must be sort of confused about all the gifts under the tree that they didn’t buy.

THANK GOD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS OF THIS

OKAY THANK YOU.

MY MOM HAS A SHOE BOX UNDER HER BED

AND IT IS HIDDEN YET EASILY ACCESSIBLE 

I THINK I FOUND MY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS LET ME CHECK

ABORT ABORT IT WAS NOT A CHRISTMAS PRESENT MY EYES OH MY GOD HELP ME THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

D

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D

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MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT MONTH! 

Nobody cares about your birthday

unless you’re Jesus and your birthday is Christmas