heehoo peanut

two busty slippery (oiled up) (peanut oil) girls in aprons standing in your kitchen spitting soup into each other's mouths but missing every time and splashing soup everywhere (non sexual) (quite disgusting) with no intent of cleaning it up

girl i can fuck you so good you see visions of maidens

I hope this email sucks you off

that doesn’t look like brazil

things are different in brazil

I USED TO LIVE IN THIS CITY LMAOO

Literally brazil

sorry i rear ended you kitten i just hate you so fucking much

what if hannibal got up and left when will said "i don't find you that interesting" in the first episode

Ok, God, I am fucking wheezing, I got trained to work with mice today since I’ll need them for some experiments and the guy who trained me was like, “Yeah ok so if there’s a day where you just absolutely cannot get your mice to cooperate you can always do this” and picks up this cone-shaped bag and just put the mouse face-first into it and shows it to me and I lose my shit because deadass it was a piping-bag of mouse. Like, the whole mouse was pressed into this cone, fur and ears and feet all pressed up against the plastic, tail sticking up absurdly out of the top of the thing. It was so unimaginably fucking funny but like the mouse was perfectly ok with it, there’s a hole for air at the bottom so she could breathe and all but it was genuinely the most absurd thing I have witnessed in months

you will be turned to icing if you don’t start acting correctally.

you guys are all so funny tonight haha ;)... *let’s the strap of my dress fall down my shoulder*