Gay Vampire Thoughts

"you were always such a good kid! we never had to worry about you :)" thanks! you actually should've, though. like about this specifically

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

Gonna be honest a lot of people deep down view cheating as worse than abuse which is why so many people view downright controlling and manipulative behavior in a relationship as 100% permissible so long as that behavior is centered around either preventing or discovering cheating.

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

whenever i imagine someone getting tied to the train tracks i imagine it in a nondescript field like this

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

I'm pretty sure the cause of Ollie's first ever and ONLY vet meltdown was cause the vet dude kinda just burst in and immediately walked up to grab his face and stick his fingers in his mouth without so much as a how-do-you-do so on the tech's post-checkup email I asked if they could make a note on his file that he needs to be approached SLOWLY to avoid violence 😭 God I sound insane but like he usually LOVES the vet, he's only ever been calm and affectionate there but this time he was furious and kept trying to take chunks out of hands, how do I politely and calmly communicate "yes he IS just a cat but he's also a perfectly reasonable animal who I love very dearly and if you walk right up and grab him like that again without giving him time to adjust then *I* am going to bite you" and how did I *become* the neurotic crazy pet owner at the clinic

The emotional venn diagram of "Neurodivergent human struggling with respect and communication who has trauma about being grabbed by strange large men" and "ordinary animal that does not receive respect because people don't see animals as feeling, conscious beings who deserve respect and are capable of communication" became a circle at the vet's office for what I suspect is niether the first or last time

I kind of dislike how often high schools play into fantasy fiction and anime- not out of any dislike of the youth but because high school is a deeply, deeply lame experience, and not even dragons can change that