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JJ’s mind was reeling as he departed the van with a quick tug of his shorts and a clasp of the button.

He had stepped on his red hat when jumping out, mindlessly dusting the sand off of it without a care as his legs led him back to the fire pit. JJ was simply going through the motions, doing his best to ignore the way the fabric of his boxers dragged against his softening member. He flicked his tongue across his bottom lip, tasting the remnants of her sweet peak. The hat was placed on backwards to cover his tousled hair from view. He could still feel her on every indention and arch of his toned body. Believing one time would truly satiate his need for (Y/N) was a complete joke.

It was a cruel and ridiculous notion.

If anything, that’s all he could think about now. A small taste wasn’t enough, he wanted to suffocate between her legs and leave her quaking. Fuck her mouth until she had pretty tears streaming down her cheeks and saliva dribbling down her chin. Make her scream his name until she went mute. JJ had half a mind to turn around and act on impulse before Kie’s curly hair popped into his frame and refrained him from completing his body’s request. She was wearing a frown, brown eyes searching behind JJ while speaking. “Hey J. John B’s been looking for (Y/N) for a while apparently. You seen her?”

Yeah, I was fucking her in the van.

JJ let out a small breath at his thoughts, shaking his head innocently. “Nope. No clue,” he lied knowing she was probably still recuperating in the van. But he played the part so perfectly, feigning worry to mirror her state. His ocean blue eyes aimlessly flickered through the crowd without actually zoning in on anyone. “Does JB have any clue where she is?” It was hard to contain the mixture of emotions he felt for his best friend at the moment.

On one hand, John B taken it too far involving an unwilling JJ into his cruel game. Using him to get his revenge on (Y/N) and getting off on forcing him to watch something he was forbidden from claiming. On the other hand, John B’s initial reservations about their behavior was proven more than accurate by the fact that his girlfriend was most likely getting dressed in the Twinkie after JJ had just gotten done railing into her.

“You guys find her yet?” Pope’s intrusion at his right side brought him back to the conversation at hand. Kie sighed, genuinely growing more worried as time passed. “No.. I mean, it’s not like she could’ve went far? She came with us and I doubt she’d leave with Rafe without telling us,” Kie crossed her arms over her chest faintly recalling the oldest Cameron hanging out with Topper a while ago but (Y/N) wouldn’t have just left with him. Things between the two siblings had been tense for a while now with her dating a Pogue. “Well I just saw him flirting with some poor Touron so that’s not even an option,” Pope’s confirmation was layered with disgust not able to imagine what poor girl would fall for his antics.

John B appearing out of thin air from the crowd was what really made JJ zone in fully.

Neither of them had to say a word for the air to grow tense. John B hadn’t really taken the time to watch JJ’s reaction when (Y/N) unraveled in front of him, but it was easy to guess that his best friend had caught on. The fact that JJ didn’t seem as worried as the others fed into the foreboding dread he was trying to pretend wasn’t there. They turned into two alpha males fighting over territory the second they made eye contact. Standing proud with chests puffed up, oozing testosterone into a suddenly hostile setting.

“Lost your girl JB?”

He didn’t have to poke the bear but JJ is simply a victim of his true nature.

After all, it was John B who chose to start this. How could he be blamed?

The smirk that played on his otherwise innocent features sent John B into a spiral. His hand would form a fist and then loosen, only to repeat. The unspoken words JJ was attempting to convey were being understood perfectly. Kie looked between them, becoming aware of the undeniable tension swelling in the air. A lid was about to blow off and Kie wasn’t sure if it would be John B or JJ to lose it first. Pope was as oblivious as ever, checking his phone to send (Y/N) another text.

“I saw her for a little bit.”

John B’s teeth gritted as he took a step forward. The implications the blonde haired boy was making was only triggering the residual jealousy inside of him. He would be a fool to not notice the sparkle in his girlfriends eyes when JJ demanded her attention. It was like a punch to the kidney remembering the pause she took when being introduced to him. John B wasn’t one to normally struggle with his worth, but it was too easy to assume that things might’ve turned out different if JJ had been the one who got the job with Ward Cameron instead of him.

“I’m picking up some weird vibes..,” Kie interrupted with a tentative tone, eyes flickering between the two.

John B was a giddy kid on Christmas morning watching the two girls mingle on the boat. (Y/N) Cameron was actually sitting on the H.M.S. Pogue in a sexy little one piece bikini talking to his friends. And she was dating him.

“JJ’s not gonna like her.”

“JJ has to like her.”

“Yeah but he’s not going to.”

“You’re killing my mood Pope.”

“She’s the Kook Princess for fucks sake.”

“If you’re cussing that means you’re really mad,” John B was partially teasing. Pope was hitting too close to home without realizing it. JJ’s been his best friend since the third grade. Everything significant that ever happened to JB always made its way back to JJ. Anytime he skipped school, JJ was the one who led the charge. Any idea or scheme, good or bad, was brought up between the two before anyone else. Hell even the grinded herbs spilled on the floor of his guest bedroom belonged to none other than his partner in crime.

JJ not liking his girlfriend because she was a Kook just wasn’t an option.

Pope rolled his eyes while carrying the cooler (Y/N) and Kie had packed off the deck. “I get ignored but I’m always right,” he mistook his friend’s carefree attitude for confidence. There was just no way Pope wasn’t going to be right about this. There wasn’t a walking Kook on Outer Banks that didn’t receive the bad end of one of JJ’s stink eyes or his colorful language. The Kook Princess and her knight and shining armor at the time, Topper, were the main topic of many drunk rants about social inequality.

John B pensively knocked against the wooden railing with his beer can, accepting Pope’s prediction. “Okay well- we can always leave them stranded so they can work their shit out,” John B threw up a solution to the mix. Pope dropped the cooler before giving him a pointed look. “It’s truly scary how quickly you came up with that,” he was a little impressed and frightened at the same time.

Pope’s gaze moved behind him, heavy footsteps giving way to the queasiness that came with jitters. “Fishin’ for some drum today boys?” JJ’s chipper voice put an end to their discussion and forced fake smiles. Pope began undoing the rope tying them to the dock with a quick nod. John B didn’t have time to react with his special guest already making her way towards the cooler that Pope had brought on board. The time he thought he had to come up with a plan disappeared. Kie scrambled up at his arrival to help diffuse any situation that might unfold while John B shifted to face his girlfriend and best friend. “(Y/N) this is the last member of the Pogues, JJ Maybank. JJ, this is my girlfriend, (Y/N) Cameron. Thought she could come with us today,” he introduced them formally.

The rest just seemed to happen in slow motion.

His blue eyes landed on her, hair at the end of her ponytail drifting towards her left shoulder with the gust of wind. Cheeks flushed with a light shade of pink that JJ didn’t know the name of, but found himself suddenly wanting to. She reached up to lift her designer sunglasses from the brim of her nose to the top of her head. He swallowed hard, caught off guard by the gleam in her eyes that matched the magnitude of the suns’. Her glossy lips were moisturized by some chapstick JJ needed to know the flavor of. The bikini was black, with two openings at the side and simple spaghetti straps that only put emphasis on her chest. Every alluring inch of tanned skin was prompting him towards her.

The only time she ever really crossed his path was during a tussle with Topper or Rafe. He never really had the time or interest in concentrating on the Kook Princess.

Which in reality made a lot of sense to JJ.

Because he felt like he was actually seeing her for the first time. Like he didn’t even know who she was until now.

“Nice to properly meet you JJ, I- uhm..- I brought some beer over,” and it was the pause in her sweet voice that really sealed the deal.

(Y/N)’s field of vision was consumed by JJ. His muscular arms in the sleeveless gray t-shirt were shimmering with sweat. The cotton fabric hung low exposing the defined lines of his collarbones. The sun lit up the sapphire color in his eyes and sharpness of his jawline. And normally, normally, (Y/N) had a hatred for baseball caps. The way they ruined your hair after wearing them for too long. Or how the little hole in the back never sat just right with her ponytail. But today? Her entire perspective changed on them as she caught sight of the singular loose strand of hair falling onto JJ’s forehead. The red hat was facing the opposite way, blonde locks poking out under the sides of it. For heaven sakes JJ had a damn toothpick snug between his lips.

How could she not be thrown off by him? He was the epitome of a bad boy that would probably be haunting her dark dreams in the upcoming future.

“I didn’t know Kook Princesses knew that beers existed.”

With his playfulness, the stress in their surroundings dissolved.

A quiet snort on her end and his boots landing on the boat was the end of it. The big explosion they’d prepared for amounted to nothing more than a shared beverage and banter that was borderline flirtatious.

“Well… that could’ve gone way worse,” Pope noted from John B’s side.

In retrospect, it did go way worse.

“Everything okay?” (Y/N) called out to them from where she was making her way up to the huddled group preventing the storm that was brewing from unleashing. Her breathing was still uneven, fingers fiddling nervously with the shiny cross necklace at her neck. The vibrator still made it difficult to walk with the way it would slide inside of her restricting her from forgetting about the incident in the van but she was satiated for now. Able to process other thoughts than just JJ. Guilt was at the forefront of her conflicted emotions. Everybody but John B and JJ looked at her. They heard her but they hadn’t even broken their stand-off to acknowledge her presence.

Kie shot her head around to (Y/N) exhaling a sigh of relief since she appeared uninjured. But at a second glance, she noted the tangled mess of hair that had been miserably patted down and ran through. The subtle rise and fall of her chest to finish catching her breath. The crimson color painted on her cheeks that ran down her neck to her shoulders.

“Everything’s great now. JB was lookin’ for ya and I was just telling him that I’d ran into you,” JJ’s smirk widened. He was just having too much fun playing into the obvious suspicion that danced in John B’s brown eyes. It was hard to not want to blurt it out right then and there, that his little game hadn’t worked out the way he intended it to. The bittersweet moment that would eventually come when John B pulls the vibrator out was enough motivation to keep his mouth shut. A side of JJ he wasn’t aware of was coming out for vengeance.

(Y/N) had to physically stop herself from jabbing her elbow into JJ’s side. She wanted to come clean, tell John B the truth even if it would be devastatingly difficult to remedy. She owed him that now. “Yeah, by the fire pit. When I wasn’t feeling well. I had to get some fresh air,” it was sort of the truth. (Y/N) couldn’t pick this moment in front of everyone to be honest. She just wanted to make sure that he found out through her and not by opening JJ’s present.

“Mhm,” JJ hummed digging his fists into his pockets. It was her lie that bled false hope into John B as he finally broke with a peek her way. She was staring at him, silently pleading to back off with her big doe eyes. JJ couldn’t blame him for relaxing with one look her way, she had the same affect on him.

Pope adjusted his flannel with a heavy breath. “Well I don’t know about you guys, but that was a lot for one night. I’m ready to go to bed. And Pops ran me down dry today,” his body was still sore from all the deliveries and inventory he had done at the shop earlier. It was indeed getting a little late for all of them now. There was a good amount of liquor in their systems so calling it a night wasn’t a bad idea. Kie was still feeling unconvinced though. Nothing that was being said was wrong but it was the way it was being said. The heavy emotion that weighed the trio down. And of course, JJ was acting far too odd and smug.

“It was a lot for one night, huh?” JJ’s head whipped around to her then. He was so obviously referring to the fact he had busted a weeks load, who was he kidding, a months load of frustration into her. (Y/N)’s knuckles turned white around the chain feeling the way JJ peered down the front of her body and stopped at the end of her dress. Her body would be undeniably hot if anyone was to touch it at this very instant. “Yeah, we should get home,” her voice was shaky as she stepped toward John B, outstretching her free hand to him and rewarding JJ’s audacity without a glance over.

He wound his fingers around hers, letting her be the one to calm him down and wash the anger away. He didn’t bother looking at JJ again as they began walking because he’s afraid he might punch the stupid smirk off his face if he does. (Y/N) had accidentally already done that for him by taking John B’s hand.

“I tried-,” John B squeezed her hand lowering his voice as they walked a few steps ahead of their friends, “getting your attention.”

The vibrating noise the toy made against the metal flooring of the van echoed in her ears.

“Do you hear that? John B’s turning up the vibrator while you’re getting stuffed with his best friends cock.”

(Y/N) jumped out of her skin at the mention of the device. She cursed whatever higher power had led John B to making this purchase. Her skin crawled with the flashback it brought on. She was even angrier at herself for still being turned on by the way JJ had fucked her into utter submission. If she’d been in her right mind, she would’ve taken it out and wiped herself clean. But JJ had left her dazed. Perplexed by the intensity of pleasure and shame from not feeling guiltier than she should.

“I turned it off.”

“You.. turned it off?” John B repeated, shock evident on his features. There was never an actual contract between them with a set list of rules or anything but they were dabbling in punishment and handing over control so it didn’t make any sense to him. Why would she do that knowing what would ensue? It crossed his mind that it could’ve been because he took it too far moments before she vanished. He wasn’t dumb enough to ignore that it had been careless of him to push her like that in front of JJ. He felt a little bad about how inconsiderate it had been to do that as they reached the van. John B didn’t say another word as he furrowed his eyebrows and looked ahead.

There was an odd white tint on the windows leftover from their indiscretion. Like the kind caused by fog that dried up. The smell inside wasn’t any better. Some of it escaped with all the doors opening but it was still present when the engine switched on. Kie and Pope were scrunching up their noses as (Y/N) sunk into her seat, head resting against the window wishing she could become one with the car door. Her heart beat a little quicker as she inhaled the sweat and aroma of sex.

If anybody deciphered exactly what it was, they chose not to mention it.

But it enveloped (Y/N). Hugged her tight and flooded her with what were now sinful memories. Shutting her eyes, her fingertips skimmed across the top of her thigh timidly, the one where JJ had left a hand impression on the side. It sent chills through her body to relive the way his face dug into her. Her thighs retreating into one another as she pictured the almost black eyes watching her come apart under him. If anything served as the biggest reminder, it was the vibrator neatly tucking in JJ’s cum into her squirming body. Her hand moved upwards to pull her hair to one side and squeeze the back of her neck in an effort to calm herself. It was a mistake, a huge mistake to tilt her head back. Because the tormentor of her daydream was already burning holes into her.

JJ could see the lust flash through her eyes. Even from the backseat he could feel the heat emanating towards him. Watching her felt different now. He wasn’t getting a glimpse of her inappropriate thoughts, he was reading them. Observing how they popped up with every touch of her hand. Seeing the sweaty skin displayed by her bare shoulder firsthand and the hint of a darkening bruise that would be visible to those in the backseat if she moved her hair another inch. His fingers itched to replace hers. Going mad with the realization that she was thinking about him. It was his name she had been screaming earlier. The cause of her affliction was JJ this time. His chest was moving a little quicker now that her eyes were confirming what JJ suspected. His hand shifted downwards to tug on his shorts and fix them before his hardening dick became obvious.

“Guys I know this is technically John B’s van, but can you minimize the intimacy in the van. It reeks,” Pope waved his hand in front of his nose dramatically while requesting that one of the two in the front rolled the window down. They had almost managed to get away with it when Pope just had to go and open his mouth about it.

The curve of JJ’s lip tilted upwards as Kie delivered a detrimental blow to Pope’s arm. She was already suspecting something and with the silence in the van intriguing her further, Pope making this type of comment was just unnecessary. (Y/N) couldn’t look at JJ’s triumphant expression for another second longer though.

John B gave a very short and curt, half hearted laugh, hands tightening around the wheel. His chest felt a little tight. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember when the last time they’d had sex in the Twinkie was. It definitely wasn’t recent enough for it to linger this way and it definitely hadn’t been present earlier. Anger flared within him while trying to remain blissfully ignorant as to the obvious signs in front of him.

The eerie quietness for the rest of the ride was only made bearable by the music playing on the radio. Everyone was too distracted in their own thoughts, exchanging wary glances back and forth. Even JJ found John B scowling over at him quite often, but he simply kept his eyes on (Y/N).

The van coming to a stop awoken everyone out of their distractions. John B was the first one out, walking with purpose to get to (Y/N)’s door and reaching it before she could even lift her hand to the handle. Pope left the back first, talking about the leftover cereal from (Y/N)’s little shopping trip he just needed to eat before bed. Kie began to exit, slowing down when she noticed that JJ wasn’t moving at all from where he was sat. If she took her time, she’d be able to catch him by himself and ask him what the fuck was going on.

Her plan seemed to work pretty well considering John B gripped onto (Y/N)’s wrist to pull her inside not paying any mind to the others. The constant loop of emotions was only infuriating him more. The car ride felt hours long, giving him time to envision several scenarios of what might’ve happened. Trying to get rid of those images was proving to be more difficult. He didn’t even realize how upset he actually was until they reached the front door and (Y/N) wiggled her wrist in his grasp. “It hurts,” she was nervous, not because of him but because of the conversation that awaited.

John B eased up on her a fraction of a second after she spoke. He didn’t bother looking back though, boosting (Y/N)’s nerves. “John B,” she tried quietly as he urged them through the living room, through the hallway, and into his bedroom. She could faintly hear Pope rummaging through the cabinets before his bedroom door was opening. Her pulse quickened, the panic bubbling inside of her. But he was unwavering. Setting off an attack of anxiety-fueled nausea through her. Every rushed movement was beckoning her closer to her confession. He wasn’t letting her get a word out, shutting the door behind them. “John B,” he ignored her, urging them over to sit (Y/N) down on the bed.

“Why’d you turn it off?.. When did you turn it off? Where?.. It’s still inside you though, right?” He didn’t actually expect a response to the extensive questions he was throwing her way. He was moving too rapidly to give her time to answer them. John B didn’t even know if he actually wanted to hear what she had to say. He grabbed the hem of his shirt to rip it off. His lips were set in a fine line, overlooking the tears swelling in her eyes as his knees met the wooden floorboards.

(Y/N) made a steadfast attempt to keep herself covered but his hand boldly flung the dress up. There was both anger and lust etched in his expression. His hands grabbed onto her knees, lunging them to opposite sides with eyes glued to one place and one place only. A choked noise left her lips at the direction he was going towards.

“We need to talk,” the dreaded words every man loathed hearing. He focused in on the sight of the red lace that had a slight bump over it where the vibrator was located. The discussion she wanted to have was the last thing on his mind right now. He chose to exist in the expectation of how this night was supposed to go rather than the reality.

“I don’t want to talk right (Y/N),” he insisted. Her cheeks felt wet and palms clammy. Lungs constricting in a frightening way with a heavy chest as she stumbled through finding the courage to spit it out. All the while he moved at too rapid of a pace for her to process. Attempting to close her thighs went horribly wrong, his hand flying over to keep them from closing.

It was purely on instinct. But unbeknownst to John B, his hand covered up the bruise left by his best friend. She winced from the pain, fingers twisting around the edge of the bed. His hand moved from there to the hem of her panties, snapping them to the side.

“John B stop,” her pleading went unheard due to the ringing in his ears. His fingers latched onto the end of it and began to pull it out.

The air escaped her lungs.

Her hand flung out to swat at his hand but his brawn was no match.

“John B- JJ and I-,” despite her cry, it was too late.

It felt like everything in the planet and beyond became deadly silent.

A pin could drop and you’d hear it in Australia.

He only managed to get it out halfway before the milky white substance was seeping out from the sides.

The next millisecond was the longest John B had ever experienced. His face went pale. There was no way for her to explain herself out of this one. The sight was so distinct. It was so obviously cum that didn’t belong to him. Every stress-filled interaction crashed together inside him in a long-awaited train wreck. The way his throat would dry when JJ would go silent into a trance upon (Y/N)’s bubbly entrance. His blue eyes would get just a little brighter at her goofiness and matching banter. Her laugh would be just a smidgen higher when he did his very JJ things. She’d melt whenever he would sweetly request something of her, in a way that was supposed to have been a joke from both sides. However, the punchline to the joke seemed to be him.

In the millisecond that followed, John B lurched away from her like she had caught fire. The feeling of disgust was a harsh contrast to what he was feeling before. The woman before him was one he didn’t recognize any longer. It couldn’t be his (Y/N) sitting on the edge of his bed. No. That girl loved him. That girl would’ve never done something like this. A sound was made as the sex toy fell out the rest of the way reminding him that she indeed had. His blood boiled with rage. The edge of the panty line snapping back and startling her out of her anguish.

“John B I’m so sorry-,”

“Are you fucking serious?” He seethed watching as she jumped up from the bed, tears falling down her cheeks while struggling to catch a breath. But he pulled back from her letting his anger fuel the desire to see her vanish from his vicinity. “Don’t fucking touch me,” his voice boomed out, making her flinch away from him. She’d never seen him this furious before. It was her fault though. She deserved his reaction.

John B didn’t need to ask who was to blame because he already knew the answer to that question. Even with his name falling from her lips moments as he took it out, the clear image of a smirking JJ from the Boneyard asking if he had lost her made him lose it. His best friend was to be held just as responsible. Before he could properly process what he was doing, the door swung open with determination. The sound it made as it hit the wall echoed throughout the house alarming everyone and undoubtedly leaving a doorknob sized hole in its wake.

(Y/N) chased after him, knowing exactly who he was looking for. “No John B,” she called out after him, sprinting to catch up to him. Even though he just looked like he was walking, his speed was astonishing. His head scanned around the empty kitchen and then the living room where Kie was bouncing up from the couch with wide eyes. “What’s wrong? What’re you looking for?” she asked exasperatedly, quickly reaching the conclusion that John B was fuming. There would be steam coming out of his ears if that was actually possible.

“Where’s JJ- I’m gonna kill him,” John B stated without hesitation as the toilet flushed from down the hallway. Before John B could get to it, (Y/N)’s palms were pushing back at his rock hard chest, muscles tight from rage.

“John B stop- this is my fault. It’s mine, nobody else’s but mine,” (Y/N) could barely keep in the sob as John B reacted quickly, moving away from her once again. His eyes were dark and empty, face completely emotionless except for the red hot anger. The sight of him becoming physically ill from her touch shattered her into pieces. Her body was shaking. She knew this is what would happen but nothing could’ve actually prepared her for it. Nobody warned her about what it would feel like to watch the love someone has for you drain from their face.

“I said don’t fucking touch me. Why are you even here, huh? Thought it would be fun to slum your way through Pogues?” John B’s hurled accusation was meant to hurt, meant to be offensive. He wanted her to really feel the same pain he was. He thought one day she might leave him for his best friend. Had pretended like it was his mind playing tricks on him. Never in a million years did he think this would happen. He was unable to breathe properly as he stared intently towards the opening bathroom door. He stretched his neck out to see who it was, only relaxing it back when Pope emerged from the bathroom. “What’s going on?” he gazed around at everyone having heard the door and shouting from where he was, eyes eventually honing in on the state (Y/N) was in.

John B laughed with no humor behind it and a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. JJ fucked my slut of a girlfriend. My best friend fucking creampied her,” his head shook in disbelief, “He fucked her in the van while we were all looking for her,” John B’s voice was laced with venom watching as she curled in on herself without caring about how she felt. He put two and two together easily. The way she recoiled at the accusation only confirmed it, setting him off further as he took a step forward. “He did didn’t he? You opened your legs for him in the fucking Twinkie.” This was different from when he called her dirty names in the safety behind closed doors. He meant these humiliating words. Her crying was the only thing heard in the momentary silence. (Y/N) covered her chest with her arms as if to protect the imaginary physical wound that he inflicted. “Woah dude- wait, you’ve gotta chill out,” Pope moved with caution between him and (Y/N), holding his hand out to stop John B from moving any further. Not because he’d do anything, because the situation was getting too heated. He was hearing a bit too much information than needed, but if any of it was true he knew John B was on a unstoppable war path.

“Where’s JJ?” He was steady in his pursuit, unbothered by his friend who was trying to settle the situation at hand. “Jesus- He left! I talked to him outside and he left, alright?!” Kie yelled out at him, pulling his attention to the girl. “You’ve gotta calm down. Fighting him and hurting her isn’t gonna solve anything,” Kie reasoned in a slightly lower volume, but nonetheless still loud, while laying an attentive hand on his shoulder. Usually it was (Y/N) doing this. Asking him to cool off without speaking, just looking. It was a harsh reality to accept that she wasn’t. The disappointment to find out JJ hadn’t even made it past the front door was clear in the way his hand jerked. He swirled around on his feet to face (Y/N) again, looking past Pope.

“Get out.”

“John B, please let me talk to you.” Her voice was horse from all the crying. It was without a doubt asking for too much to have a civil conversation with John B right now. But her heart was squeezing in her chest and she couldn’t bare the thought of leaving things like this. Her mind struggled to find any words that would bring him peace. There was probably none that would. She had tried to avoid this… hadn’t she? Didn’t she keep asking him to stop? Or couldn’t she have just pulled away from his hold? The fact that was even a question in her mind made her chest swell with oncoming tears.

John B stiffened up taking another step forward that landed Pope’s hand onto his chest this time. “(Y/N) get the fuck out!” The conviction in his voice made her bottom lip quiver. Kie was angry at her but it was also difficult to watch (Y/N) break down like this. Since she’d joined them, they’d been inseparable. It was nice of course to have all the boys around but there was things she could talk to (Y/N) about that she couldn’t with them. A sense of trust and friendship that had formed during girl talk. She knew there was no excuse for her friends actions, but it was still difficult to watch the fallout unfold. “I’ll take her home and then I’ll be right back,” Kie offered as she went to the couch searching for her keys figuring that would be a way she could help them both. “Kie get her out of here right fucking now,” John B’s nostrils flared not having the capacity to continue looking at (Y/N).

“She’s going man, she’s going. Let’s just go outside,” Pope tried leading him out the back while Kie smacked a pillow in frustration, wondering where she set her keys down before they left.

But it was all too much for (Y/N).

The pure disdain from John B was appropriate. The way they were referring to her in third person now, as if she’d never been a Pogue, was also fitting but it all pierced her heart. She’d lost him and the rest of her true family over what? A hook-up? Another notch on JJ’s belt? She didn’t even have a clue.

“Don’t worry,” (Y/N) grabbed her phone making her way to the door as Kie moved to stop her, “I’ll get home. Just stay with him.”

Kie called out for her in an effort to get her to rethink and wait just a few more minutes for her. But either she didn’t hear it or she chose not to.

The way the screen door slammed behind her seemed to signify the end to a lot more than what she could yet imagine or even handle.

Her legs were wobbly as she made her way down the beaten path. It took her a few minutes to gather her strength before she was able to walk away from the house without tripping over nothing. The adrenaline racing from the intensity of the fight urged her legs to move faster. She couldn’t help but punish herself by reliving every second of it. The look on John B’s face when he removed the toy made her insides churn. The image would be scarred into her memory. It seemed like every other special, beautiful moment they shared was erased from existence. She wanted to turn back time, find a million different ways to come clean that didn’t include a stupid fucking vibrator. Without even noticing, her sprint gradually tripled in speed until it turned into full fledged running and weeping down his neighborhood. A car past her by at some point but she didn’t even see it through the haze of her tears.

With time passing by faster than she noticed, she felt her chest slowing to a calmer state and cheeks drying. It was only then, when every heightened sense took an undeserved respite, that her speed lowered. Things were more visible now that it felt like she had cried every drop she physically could. It only felt like minutes in the middle of her attack, but she’d managed to make it quite a distance. The convenience store John B normally drove to when he picked up some late night cravings during her periods came into view and almost made her collapse in the process. Walking to her house from here would most likely take the whole night and (Y/N) probably could make it if she was feeling extra ballsy. But as she eyed the dimly lit street ahead and the little twenty-four hour mini-mart that threatened the shaky stability she had found, she knew tonight was not that night.

Her phone screen lit up her face, swiping up to open the device when it recognized her. (Y/N) let out a trembling breath as she made her way to her Uber app, ordering one to her current location so that she could be dropped off in Figure Eight. Once it was charged to the card her dad had opened for her, she crossed her arms over her chest. Her dad really only checked her account to re-up her money so there wasn’t a high chance of him questioning her on a late night Uber drive when she was supposed to be sleeping over at Kie’s, but even if he did see it, the argument that would ensue seemed vastly unimportant compared to everything else.

A wave of emotions risked another waterfall. In contrary to her previous belief, apparently she might never stop crying. Waiting there for the driver, all she could think about was John B. The coldness he aimed her way. He had meant every single belittling word and (Y/N) felt like it was well-deserved. She wanted to blame JJ. It would be so easy to do it considering the predicament she had been in when he followed after her. One that he had been very well aware of.

But as much as she wanted to do that, the truth was she wanted JJ in that moment. Not John B, but JJ. The look in his blue eyes when they were sitting in front of the bonfire had ignited a buried desire for him. There was actually way too many instances where she had craved JJ in the way she had him tonight. Odd moments where they were left alone for one reason or another, creating tension amongst themselves with inappropriate thoughts and stolen glances of the other. It was really her fault for not admitting it to herself sooner. All of this could’ve been avoided if she had stopped lying to herself.

The honk of the horn brought her back from her zoned out state. (Y/N) made her way into the vehicle that matched the one in the app, giving the man a weak smile. He asked her something, but her brain didn’t make sense of it. She curled up into the door similar to the way she had in the van earlier, choosing to get lost in the palm trees rather than hold a meaningless conversation with someone she’d never meet again. The silence he was met with was a clear indication that she wanted to opt out of the friendly chatter and arrive at her destination.

The driver picked up the hint, starting his drive to the address given without another hitch. Even blessing her with the grace of ignoring the faint weeping in the backseat. She was torn up inside, grieving the loss of her boyfriend while also struggling with whether she actually regretted it or not. Saying she did would just be a distasteful lie. Confronting John B over this had sent her headfirst into the veracity of her feelings.

The rest of the drive felt empty. There wasn’t a living soul out when they rode down her street. Her own house had all the lights off, it gave off an eerie looking vibe at this time of night. The driver came to a stop at her gate, letting her get off there so she could enter through the gate door next to the car entrance. Her mumbled thank you was politely acknowledged with a small wave and head bow before she exited.

The walk from the warm car through the freezing temperature of the night to the coziness of her bedroom was exhausting in her numb state. She was beyond glad no one was awake because she didn’t have the energy to deal with her dad who would pester her with questions. Or Wheezie who would try to get all up in her business for nothing other than the sake of living up to the stereotype of nosy little sisters. Rose would just put on her motherly act that seemed to bother her too much to play well so it would just end up sucking more energy from (Y/N).

And Rafe- well Rafe might be the only one that could cross her path. He wouldn’t care enough to even notice her presence. But he was most likely still at the Boneyard with the other Kooks anyways inhaling too much coke.

A relaxing bath sounded perfect right now, with some bubbles and candles. She could play one of her mellow playlists in the background. Something relaxing, not sad, because she’d be right back where she started. She didn’t know if she’d actually retrieve the candles from the second floor linen closet or even have the energy to search for her speaker but at least the bubbles she could reach from inside the bathtub. The rest she could leave up to her imagination.

Her feet dragged all the way up to the third floor, past the expensive paintings and family portraits, and to her bedroom. All of the lights in the hallway made it hard for her to see in the pitch black of her bedroom. (Y/N) preferred it that way anyways. Her back rested against the door once it shut, one hand on the doorknob still feeling like she couldn’t get a decent amount of oxygen into her lungs. Her head lifted just to bang back on the door delivering a sting to the back of her head that didn’t actually quell the emotional pain.

She was about to go into her bathroom when she saw the infamous red baseball cap on the grey chair, lined with silver around the edges, that sat in front of the window. The moonlight pouring in from the window was shining down on it like a spotlight, alerting her to the presence of the boy that seemed to be everywhere lately.

The fact that it was in such perfect view made her tilt her head slightly, not looking away from it. It was almost like he had made sure to leave it in sight so that they could bypass the obvious jump scare that would’ve occurred otherwise. Her back stood a little straighter, heart caving just the tiniest bit at the gesture.

And that’s exactly why JJ had done it. Her bloodshot eyes and lifeless expression were proof he’d been right in doing so. He had wanted to be there for her when they got out of the van, gut still twisting with the way John B had grabbed onto (Y/N). But he was aware now that he was just a coward. With no clue as to how to make it up to her. After the conversation with Kie, he’d gotten on his bike and rode away. He was supposed to go home, face Luke’s wrath about his week long disappearance since the Chateau would obviously be off limits for the foreseeable future. But the pull he felt was strong, as powerful as gravity.

That’s how JJ had ended up pacing on the other side of the wall that separated Ward Cameron and the rest of his Kook family from the outside world. He was drawn to a place he’d never stepped foot in. He’d only gotten as far as the driveway the one time he road with John B to surprise (Y/N) and pick her up for a rowdy night. They had watched her slip out of her bedroom window and proceed to climb down the enormous tree next to the roof. He’d been enamored by her that night like he was all the time, thrown off by her spontaneity. Every corner JJ turned, he found another reason to fall for this girl. It hadn’t taken him long to decide to hop it once the image of her pretty face remained too long in his imagination. The possibility that she might be a little… hostile about his intrusion didn’t dissuade him.

He’d already been there for a long time, enough to wonder if he’d made the right decision in coming. He started off with sitting down on the same seat the hat was resting on before moving towards the edge of the bed. When time kept passing, he laid down on the comfortable king sized mattress. Then he discarded his articles of clothing until he was in his boxers, not wanting to dirty the comforter. He knows she’d wave off the silliness in that but he didn’t want to taint the pristine state of her bedroom. The ridiculous amount of pillows around his body tempted him into a deep slumber but the concern at how late it was getting and her not arriving put a hold on that. JJ was even getting close to calling Kie when the door had finally opened.

The sight of her hitting her head tugged at the strings of his heart. He was appalled with himself. Feeling unworthy of even being here knowing that he had left her to handle the fallout on her own. No amount of persuading from Kie to give John B a couple of days should of been enough to stop him from greeting her at the door with his outstretched arms when she walked out. But in all honesty, it was his own decision to put off the confrontation with John B and reencounter with (Y/N) after such a heavy revelation. He wouldn’t even blame her if she never wanted to see him again.

But when her shoulders slouched as she turned towards the bed and her weary eyes acclimated to the darkness, JJ didn’t see an ounce of malice hidden in them.

“You know breaking and entering is an arrest-able offense?”

She sounded defeated as her arms found sanctuary in the slot of her back between the door. JJ sat up slightly, resting his back against the cushioned headrest. The fanciest thing he’s probably ever laid on. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. JJ had expected to be yelled at, maybe thrown an object or two, then kicked out the window or through the door depending on her generosity. Instead of accusations or bitterness, he was met with a thinly veiled playful threat. And that was a million times better than being on her bad side.

“Call the cops on me then.” It was just as much to test out the waters as it was to avoid the topic at hand. It was so painfully obvious to him that things had gone considerably worse than JJ expected when (Y/N) was choosing to engage in some light-hearted banter before he could even bring it up. Which she pretended to contemplate for a moment from where she stayed put against the door. She knew that what he said wasn’t by any means considered lewd language but just because it was JJ and JJ’s voice saying it while fully displaying his six pack under the gleam of the moonlight, her mind went a little off track.

“I knew I probably couldn’t crash at the Chateau and home just..” he didn’t have to continue it. (Y/N) had bought a full sized First Aid kit to keep on hand for whenever JJ would need to be patched up. It was safely stashed away in the bathroom closet at JB’s so that she could tend to his wounds.

(Y/N) pursed her lips fully aware that she hadn’t actually been planning on kicking him out but just the fact that his only option was going to Luke’s if she did left her with a queasy stomach. They watched one another in silence, JJ hanging on to the anticipation of waiting for her reply. When his fingers ran through his hair in an attempt to ease the stress, (Y/N) finally pushed off from the door.

“The left side of the bed is mine,” her eyes flickered to the empty right side and JJ got the hint, “I will be building a Wall of China that you cannot cross. Lock the bathroom door when you use it. The rest of the house is off limits because my dad might have a heart attack if he sees you and Wheezie’s a snitch or a blackmailer depending on her mood and what day of the week it is,” with a lock of the door, she was making her way towards the front of the bed, “Rafe would just be unpleasant to run into, and this is the most important rule so listen very closely Maybank.. If you turn my fan off, I will make sure you suffer,” bringing attention to the hum of the fan that JJ remembered had indeed been turned on this whole time.

A small amused smile played on JJ’s lips at the list of rules she gave him. He was so engrossed in her every move, still finding her beautiful even in the midst of chaos. It was easier to play this game of pretend, like nothing had happened. As if his presence in her home was somewhat normal. It certainly felt more normal than it should. “Anything else warden?” JJ teased as he scooted over on the bed. (Y/N) rolled her eyes as she came around the corner to lay her phone on the nightstand.

“I’m gonna take a bath so… leave me alone,” she smiled unenthusiastically hooking the phone up to her charger that was awaiting and keeping a cool demeanor. It was becoming increasingly harder to ignore his playful mood, JJ held an unmatched power to distract her from the reality of the situation.

“A bath, huh?”

“Yes a bath.”

“I think you should go to bed like that.”

(Y/N) paused, all too familiar with what it felt like to have his eyes digging into her by now. She knew what he was insinuating, that she should lay down with her cum soaked panties. She didn’t move her gaze away from the nightstand, legs shifting as she felt the wave of heat washing over her. She couldn’t help but curse herself internally, mad at herself for having no control over her reactions.

“I think a bath is what I need.”

“I think sleeping would be much better.”

“I think I’m right.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

Air puffed out from her lips as she turned to face him, meeting his eyes like she had expected to. He was so annoying that (Y/N) could smother him in his sleep with one of her pillows. But the mischief in his eyes was beckoning her over. Seeing as he was unwilling to back down, she figured she could wait until he fell asleep to wash off the remainder of tonight. There was no way to get past JJ when he got this stubborn, not a single word would persuade him otherwise and she knew it.

JJ smiled jubilantly when she puffed up pillows in the middle of the bed to separate them instead of continuing the back and forth. He wouldn’t deny he was mostly eager to have her close again, especially seeing as she was actually letting him stay. Every second next to her felt counted, like his minutes were almost up and he had to soak in every detail. He slid down in the bed again while she moved to the dresser, pulling out a plain, worn out t-shirt. His eyes were on her every move, being able to observe her more than he was normally able to.

(Y/N) wanted to grab a pair of pajamas, or at least pajama shorts since JJ would be sleeping over. But if there was one thing she despised, it was wearing anything other than a simple raggedy t-shirt and panties to bed. She could grab a pair of pajama shorts but she knew if he ended up staying for anything longer than a couple days she’d eventually give in to her irritating body heat and remove them. And considering the fact that JJ had already had the privilege of getting a very clear picture of her lower half naked, there was nothing left to hide.

Still though, as she approached the bed, she twirled her fingers in a circle. Just because she’d be laying down in underwear didn’t mean he needed to see her change.

“Really?” JJ asked like it was stupid to even make him turn around. His eyes moved to her chest then, becoming all too aware of the fact that he hadn’t gotten the chance to see her properly when he bent her over in the Twinkie.

“Seriously.” She didn’t move an inch until JJ, very begrudgingly might she add, faced away from her. Her hand moved to the back of her neck once she was sure that JJ couldn’t see her, undoing the straps with a quick pull. Once the dress was off her body, (Y/N) slipped on the t-shirt. She hadn’t bothered to ruin a fresh pair of panties when she knew she’d be escaping to bathe as soon as he was snoring at her side.

The bed dipped next to him when (Y/N) laid down, but he couldn’t catch a single glimpse of her past the wall of pillows. JJ sighed, glancing upwards at the glow in the dark stars that littered the ceiling. They were cute. It felt like he was getting an insight to her private life. One that he wanted to be a part of. The sleep that had fought him earlier was nowhere to be found. Not when he was in (Y/N)’s house. In her perfectly decorated room. Incapable of falling asleep in her comfy bed with a mountain of pillows when she was laying only a couple of feet from him, with a t-shirt on and his cum inside her.

“Would you stop huffing and puffing over there and just sleep already?” (Y/N) would be lying if she said that was the only thing keeping her up. She had been worried that once her head hit the pillows she would be too exhausted to stay up for a bath. Yet now that she was actually here, she couldn’t stop tossing and turning. The air felt thick enough to the point that she’d even be willing to smoke a blunt to relax. But the weed wouldn’t extinguish this tension, it would probably only heighten it.

“My bad. You’ve just got a stupid amount of pillows here and I can’t seem to catch my breath,” he shrugged his shoulders to himself, tilting back to the pesky wall. JJ found warmth under the covers but craved to get it from her body instead. He knew it was a bad idea but the temptation kept unwinding and growing. The opportunity was there, just how it had been earlier. An idea crept into his mind as he heard her shuffle around. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at the comment, landing on her side that wasn’t in his direction. “And? They’re comfortable,” she explained, even though she really didn’t have to. She bent her elbow to place it under the pillow trying to find the perfect spot to relax in although it seemed to be impossible to accomplish.

JJ’s arm reached out to play with one of tags on the pillow, running it between his fingers. “It’s suffocating is what it is. And there can’t be anything comfortable about living in the North Pole,” referring to the fan hitting them directly at full blast. JJ didn’t actually mind it, he was just enjoying the teasing that was always awarded with some form of response. His fingers started tugging on the tag, focused on dismantling the first obstacle and allowing her hair to become visible.

“Well-,” (Y/N)’s witty response was halted by the small noise that suspiciously sounded like her barrier was being broken through. Her fingers lazily played with the satin sheets acting like she was unaffected. She knew exactly what he wanted but refused to give in. “I’ll make sure to remind them to tidy up your five star room in prison if you keep complaining.”

JJ chuckled, removing the second pillow with more ease now that the one above it had been tossed behind him. Her backside was in sight now, hair loose and sprawled messily above the white of her bedsheets. The t-shirt had settled into the dip of her hips, making his tongue poke out to wet his bottom lip. There was something different about being here. Something that was charging his body with electricity. “You’d never turn me in.”

“It’s never too late,” (Y/N) breathed out in a hurry as the ruffling behind her increased. Her pulse jumped anticipating JJ’s next move. It was bewildering how much he disrupted her system on a cellular level. He hadn’t even touched her and she was finding it hard to inhale normally knowing that he’d be upon her soon. It should’ve been easy to reach behind her and chastise him for breaking her rules not even 20 minutes in, but it was actually aggravatingly challenging to do so.

“You want me to-,” suddenly, without warning, his defined chest was pressing into her back, evoking a loud hitch in her breath, “grab your phone for you to call?” JJ’s fingers crawled onto the tip of her curve, softly dipping a pointer finger under the lacy fabric. Her skin felt so soft and pliant. Her body quivered under him, only invigorating him. JJ’s lowered voice was much closer to her making her ankles lock together tightly. He was attempting to distract her with his words, very well knowing that she’d never be capable of such a thing.

“JJ you can’t do that,” she completely disregarded the question now, her entire mind faltering from the way his solid chest felt against her back. Despite her protest, she didn’t lift a feather to stop him. Not even her voice was convincing. Her own heart was beating rapidly against her rib cage. They had already done this dance earlier and it had led to a huge fallout. Possibly irreparable damage. Except he was some sort of magician, that made her lose her sanity with the flick of a wand. There was no mistaking the way she got lost in the waves of blue in his eyes on the ride back to the Chateau. She had almost gotten on her knees right then and there with no care on Earth for those around them.

JJ caught on to the affect he had on her like the true devil he was. “Why?” His body flawlessly molded into the crook of her back like he’s always belonged there. Hand taking its time moving around the arch of her hip and downward to knead into the flesh in an achingly cruel way that had her head spinning. A pitiful whine was held back so that it wouldn’t fuel the desire swirling between them. But it was hard to do so when he was consuming her senses. His masculine smell bear-hugging her, his touch sending shivers down her spine.

“Because- Because John-,”

“John B isn’t here (Y/N),” JJ knew that was his best friend, but damn if he heard John B’s name one more time, “he’s already mad. What’s a second time gonna hurt?” His hand proceeded to move upwards, making a straight line up the side of her body and inching her shirt off along with it. She didn’t think her heart could palpate with anymore vigor than it was. (Y/N) was struggling to keep up the façade, JJ had already slithered his way past her pillow barrier and was doing the same to the imaginary one surrounding her. She must’ve fully warped under his spell because something logical coming from JJ couldn’t be right. “Then stop because it’s wrong,” her voice was higher pitched, waiting for the arrival of JJ’s unforgiving fingers on her breasts.

But JJ was villainous. Intent on unraveling her. He only managed to get one of her breasts to pop out, the other half of her chest still covered while his hand lifted up slightly so only the pad of his finger was tracing the outline of her side boob. There was a familiar neediness spreading inside that plagued her. She went from wanting to off him to reeling from his teasing. He refused to give in to her because she was obviously yearning for him in a similar fashion. And he’d make her admit it. Make her beg for it as many times as he pleased. “That’s not how this game works Princess,” he tsked into the space between her neck and her ear, fanning his hot breath down her heaving cleavage.

His tone was disapproving, like she should know better than that now. “The only way I’m stopping (Y/N), is if you tell me to. Tell me it would’ve made no difference which one of us found you first. Tell me right now you aren’t soaking between your legs.” JJ needed to hear it almost as much as he needed oxygen to survive. If she didn’t want him to abandon whatever was erupting between them, she needed to say it. If she didn’t want him in the same way he desperately needed, he’d get dressed, leave, and stay far away from her and John B. But he doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle that form of banishment from her life.

Luckily for him, her resolve weakened with the swipe of his tongue against her earlobe and the hidden fear making its way into his voice. She pushed the side of her face into the fluffiness of her pillow in a last ditch effort to remain passive while her body went headfirst into the sinful pleasure, pressing her bottom into his hardening length. Her breathing stuttered hearing the deep groan it illicited from him. It was instant relief for the both of them, her pussy clenching at the feel of his erection digging into her. JJ couldn’t explain how hot it was to see her fight her own bodily desire for him. “I can’t tell you that,” she barely got out. The sensual touches and intentional build up had her thighs sliding together. Breathing around him was something her body forgot how to do.

JJ’s forehead fell onto her shoulder, matching her heavy breaths now that she was confirming what he so badly wanted to hear. He grasped her exposed tit, tugging until her back was arching along with it. Incapable of refraining himself with her submitting to him. “JJ,” she gasped out feeling a pull on the back of her shirt where it was stuck under her side. “Tell me what you need then,” he commanded in the very same tone from earlier that made her vision hazy and brain foggy.

“I need you J,” her body relinquished control with a small whine, obeying his orders by lifting up slightly from the bed to remove the t-shirt. She moved to face him, wanting nothing more than to run her fingers over the surface of his toned physique, but JJ used the grip on her breast to return her to her previous position. They weren’t in a rush this time. There was no boyfriend expecting her to return. No one to answer to in the dead of night. JJ had the advantage of time and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

His crotch rutting into her once in tandem with the flick of his finger over her nipple caused her mouth to drop open and a shudder to overtake her. “That’s how much I need you (Y/N),” he moaned, making her keen while his teeth grazed her shoulder blade. Every bit of her was intoxicating, like an addicting drug he was handing over his willpower to. The temptation was too much to handle. His fingers finally skimmed to the top of her panties, sliding under the thin material with ease and urgency. (Y/N) tilted her knee upwards so that he had more space at his disposal, fully letting herself succumb to JJ.

The second his hand connected with her slick mound her long eyelashes fluttered, a deep groan paving its way out. His index and middle finger slid around her clit, putting pressure on it by pressing into the sides. His semen mixing with her arousal allowed JJ to glide his fingers up and down with ease. “Oh f-fuck,” she sputtered out arm hastily wrapping around his. JJ was more vocal this time, moaning again from the feel of her sodden pussy. It urged him to grind up against her again finding relief in the contour of her body.

JJ’s free arm snuck it’s way under her neck, curving enough to be able to reach her hardened nipple. He twisted and squeezed relentlessly until he heard her cry out from the stimulation. His lips laid open mouthed kisses around her shoulders, sucking slightly with every pause. JJ didn’t falter though, he pulled on her nipple while adding extra pressure to her clit as he continued to stroke his fingers through her velvety folds. Her strangled moans were making his hard on throb from how wrecked she already sounded. (Y/N) couldn’t put together a single thought in her head, only feel the pleasure exploding inside her like fireworks.

“Fuck you feel so good, dripping again for me. Still leaking my cum,” JJ could no longer hold back as he sunk his teeth into the same spot of her upper body that he had been abusing, biting down until there was a metallic flavor soothing his tastebuds. His tongue licked up the wound, a carnal instinct forcing him to do something he never had even imagined would turn him on. However, the action sent him onto cloud nine, a high like no other. A groan vibrating against the broken skin.

Never had somebody bit her before and yet there was an embarrassing amount of slickness added to the mess between her legs. Her mouth gaped, opening with a high pitched, “Ah”. His muscles flexed under her grip as his fingers moved with more urgency feeling the result of what his action did to her. He couldn’t explain the feeling bursting inside his chest at the fact that she glowed under his barbaric behavior. (Y/N)’s head tilted to the side where JJ met her cheek with his nose. Face contorted from the waves of pain jolting through her that were mixing in with the ones of pleasure crashing into her mercilessly.

Her legs intertwined with his, tightening around his calves in order to receive some sort of grounding through the ferocity of his actions. “You like that? Like when I use my fingers to make you feel good?” JJ purred through hooded blue eyes watching her bottom lip tremble from the pleasure. He was vicious in his assaults, having to stop her thighs from shutting with a knee into the crease of her ass. As much as he wanted to shove his fingers into her hungry cunt, he wanted to make her fall apart by just playing with the sensitive nub. “Yes, love it J, I-,” her mouth paused while open, hips jutting out as JJ quickened his pace. She wanted to tell him she wouldn’t last long but he wasn’t letting her breathe.

“Is this what you were imagining in the van? My fingers inside of you, my tongue licking every inch of your pussy?” JJ murmured making her back straighten out and hearing her wheeze when he switched to a circular motion and back. Her previous orgasms had already been so intense that she was at risk of slipping away in the ecstasy. Her toes curled around the edge of the bedsheet panting into the air. (Y/N) was fully immersed in the vehement drag of his fingers and the hot puffs of air that electrified her skin. “Stay here f’me,” it was JJ’s dominating tone mixing with one of uneasiness that lulled her out of the fog, “that’s it pretty girl. Answer my question.”

He coerced a response out of her before she could drift away from him. JJ’s fingers switching to figure eight motions as she arched her back with a particularly loud yelp of his name then returning to the previous movement before she had time to adjust. Watching her so worked up had his cock aching to find its way back into her. His precum was forming a new stain in his boxers from the intensity of their hushed words and the symphony of her fluctuating breaths and resounding moans. He wanted to sheathe himself with her cunt until she become too stupid to speak almost as much as he enjoyed watching her surrender her satisfaction to him. “All I.. All I could think about was you.”

“Fuck,” JJ cracked, steadily building up the momentum so that he was rubbing his clothed dick against her. “Bet you would’ve let me rail you in front of them- let me clean your soaked pussy and then fuck your throat dry,” he grunted finding the release he was desperate for as he slid in the slit of her ass. The sensation flooded every fiber of her being, words bringing out her kinks as confirmed by the tightening of her pussy around him. “Yes,” she admitted with watering eyes. JJ’s control was slipping, acting like a teenage boy with raging hormones as he dry humped her desperately spurred on by her confession. She was open just the perfect amount for his hard tip to probe against her tight back entrance. The fabric of the boxers between them being the only thing stopping him. Her eyes were the only thing that moved to find his darkened ones in a wary haste. By the quick lock of their gaze, her wide eyes told JJ those were uncharted waters. “I’m gonna destroy your ass next.”

All it took was the exquisite combination of an adjustment of his finger and a brush of his nose against her cheek. The lively movements of his rutting alongside the lewd promise of exploring more of her body. Another meaningful jab at her bundle of nerves and she was seeing white hot fury littered with black specks behind her eyes. “Holy fuck JJ,” she panted with a whine, losing any thought process in the climax that made her nerve endings burst. The unexpected strength she had to close her legs forced JJ’s knee from its place but his fingers didn’t lose the relentless pace. She rode out her high with sharp breathing, crying his name out through the ripples of her orgasm. Her entire body squirming during his softening pace to ease her back.

He issued an uncanny amount of praises into her ear that she was only able to hear the end of. Gulping air in chunks to feed her lungs. JJ was absolutely gone for her, his insides doing cartwheels at the sound of his name during her apex. The way her face twisted, body turning into a writhing mess, it was all thanks to his doing. (Y/N) didn’t notice him all-consumed by her, absorbing every ounce of her undoing. Her hand that wasn’t wrapped in his arm, reached over to grip his hair that had sweaty ends matted to his forehead. “Doing so. fucking. well. f’me, such a good girl,” he praised with repeated eskimo kisses to her cheek. The neglected emotions seeping out through the affectionate action were far too much to handle in the daze. She wanted to scream from the overpowering feeling.

JJ slowed his movements to give her a moment to calm down. His lips took advantage of her tilted head to curve around her jawline and press gentle kisses that made seemingly soft impressions on her skin. He had initially intended on making this an entire night thing, but it has been almost an entire night. His greediness couldn’t ignore that she almost rode off into a space he couldn’t reach her at. And that his cock was in dire risk of ceasing to exist.

When her eyes became more focused and face met his, their heads tilted to clash together. Any instructions JJ had for her became mute as she read his mind and flipped her body over without breaking the kiss. A lip-numbing, teeth clashing with need, tongue fighting kiss that took away any breath she had managed to catch. It recharged her drained energy to full power.

His hand moved to brutally squeeze at her other boob. Their bodies pushing one another back with every frenzied attempt to be closer. His head would force her to bend her neck backwards as he lifted up into her before she was leaning forward and putting him in the same position. Retreating only to catch a second of air before going back to the same. It was in the middle of the disorder that JJ was able to dislodge his boxers from his body. (Y/N) maneuvered out of the last piece of clothing that was now being unjustly held accountable for the fact that she just couldn’t get close enough. He flipped her onto her back, bleeding into the slot between her legs that he would swear was made for him.

JJ propped up onto his elbows to break the kiss, lungs in need of taking in air. She moved to chase him with her lips but he rose up higher making her head plop back down. (Y/N) let out a disgruntled noise, about to break out into hives if he didn’t get inside her. Her body was sore, close to surpassing her limit but she wanted to feel full of him. Wanted to him to use her to reach levels of pleasure that he hadn’t experienced yet. But his eyes did a soft lulling once over of her naked body, halting her pleas. Months of playful prodding at the other, lingering glances, and shyly stealing innocent touches at random times had all progressed to this day. To the moment that he could take in all of her, in every way possible.

Then he repeated it. Analyzing. Memorizing. Mulling over every detail that might seem insignificant to someone else but it was everything to him.

Now that he was above her, the only thing he was capable of doing was concentrate on every detail of her body. The curvature of her perky boobs, the dampness pooling at her core, the glossy look in her eyes. His hand moved flat down her stomach, leaving a trail of tingles behind. The way she let her body be conquered by his touch left him speechless. After spending what felt like a lifetime living in the shadow of her presence, his chest was close to caving in under the reciprocation of his emotions. “You’re gorgeous,” he spoke in disbelief that someone like her would ever let someone like him taint her innocence, but she was anything except that. (Y/N) was his sweet, filthy girl. His thumb grazed against her pelvic bone before spreading her legs onto the surface of the bed to look further down. He caught sight of her pluckered nub poking past her folds, entire vagina slippery with the arousal and cum that was everywhere from the stained sheets to her inner thighs. JJ had to physically hold back a guttural noise stopping himself before he leaned down and stuffed his entire face into her.

She gnawed on her reddened bottom lip, overwhelmed with the admiration and desire in his eyes. “J,” she pleaded softly, close to liquefying under the fortitude of his stare. It was only JJ that had her mewling, entrapping her in a bubble of fantasies and a four letter word dangerously close to spilling from her lips with just a glance. The intensity of the raw emotion was close to suffocating her. (Y/N) couldn’t take it any longer, lifting her bottom from the bed to grab his attention attempting to sway him back to the task at hand. The pressing of his knuckles on her bruised inner thigh let her know it worked. His eyes seemed to refocus on her glistening center. JJ’s hand wrapped around the hilt of his length, pumping his length over her pelvic bone. “Look at that baby- that’s how deep I’m gonna be,” he taunted, the end of solid member close to her belly button. Before she had time to react, he was swiping up her vagina to collect his cum and her juices on his head before smearing it with a downward swipe and strangled, “fuck.”

“Oh,” (Y/N)’s shaky voice spoke over his, an iron grip forming on the bed sheets at her sides. Her back arched as a breathless moan escaped her when he didn’t stop. Every swipe just barely teased her with the tip sliding past her folds, giving her a minuscule taste only to move away. Her hips moved to meet his but he didn’t show mercy. “So fucking messy. Look so pretty when you’re so dirty,” the corner of his lip tugged up, relishing in her undoing. Inflicting as much torture as he had felt from not being able to just grab her when he wanted to. The sloshing sound was so fowl, so lewd and vicious that it was the only thing they could hear. “Please JJ, need your cock. Need it, I need it so bad, please-.”

“Do you? Never knew you were such a cockslut (Y/N),” he cut her off, one particular swipe against her bundle of nerves tightened the muscles in her belly. The unappeasable JJ was back, the one that knew what spots to hit inside of her. Even though he was close to cracking as evident by the way his pace lapsed, he still kept himself in check to drive her mad. And it worked. It sent her into a rant of incomprehensible pleas. (Y/N) was teary-eyed, turning into a puddle under his attack. JJ’s dirtiness had her leaking, mind fuzzy in an unexplainable way. She wanted nothing more than to please him again. (Y/N) doesn’t think she’s ever felt like this before. Like she would cry and beg and offer anything she could to get JJ’s cock inside of her.

“So fucking greedy for more even though I fucked you already. Guess I didn’t do a good enough job, huh? Should I just stop then?” JJ taunted her in a coo that made her shake her head frantically. If he hadn’t already been rock hard, the desperation in her eyes would’ve done the job in a matter of seconds. “Yes- wait… no- JJ,” (Y/N) whined unable to put the words together. She wanted to say he was crazy. That of course he’d done a fucking phenomenal job. That she feels floaty and would wail if he stopped right now. There was just no way she could use so many words at once. That stupid smirk on his face proved he was just trying to be a complete menace right now. “Just a dumb Princess for me now,” he sounded like he’d won a prize, like he was awarded some major accomplishment.

JJ laid his body over hers like a blanket, shielding every part of it and effortlessly snuffing out her panic. His composure was rapidly deteriorating, matching her need for their bodies to fuse together. His tip slipped between her puffy folds, hearing her stutter. “There?” JJ’s hot breath tingled her lips at the new proximity. (Y/N) nodded, hands suddenly coming to life from next to her to feel over his honey tinted pecks. “There,” that was definitely a word she could formulate as he paused to capture her eyes. The rest of the world stilled around them.

JJ buried himself past her resistance, stretching her open until the front of his thighs connected with the inside of hers and ripped a groan out of himself. He was convinced the ethereal feeling of her walls confining him was the same one people felt upon arriving to heaven. Before he could even move, her ankles met above his butt. She was a mess of pleas and whimpers, only trying to get JJ deeper into her as if his head wasn’t already pushing against her cervix and turning her into mush. He moaned against her lips, both touching but wide open against the other from the intensity. She was so wet and easy to slide slip into without prep. Still tight and constricting around him even after their encounter. No matter how hard it was to do, JJ’s blue swirls prompted her to keep her eyes open. He refused to look away as his hips pulled away gradually only to thrust forward again. And then again.

“Fuck,” JJ grunted, this time setting a slower yet unimaginably rough pace. He rocked into her with every ounce of strength he had left. Her fingernails found refuge in the indent between his collarbone and shoulder, digging in so harshly there’d be crescent moon impressions left over. While his found refuge in the roots of her hair, tangling into the long wavy strands. JJ used that grip to strengthen his thrusts. He could see it in her fragile features, the cloudiness in her eyes, and the airy moans that left her. She was almost gone and he’d barely even gotten started with her. “Guess what (Y/N)? You’re just taking it at this point, letting me do whatever the hell I want and fuck my cum back into your cunt like such a good little whore.”

(Y/N) keened at his vulgarity, soaking it in, the hand that wasn’t on his shoulder came to life. Roaming every inch of his body from the defined lines of his torso to the tensed muscles on his shoulders. She hadn’t gotten the chance to do that properly, to get drunk on the smooth skin that she’d been aching to wander for months. He was worth painting in this moment, sweat beading on his skin, building at the tip of his nose, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, perfectly shaped lips slightly parted, darkened blue eyes refusing to look anywhere but her. She could’ve came just from the sight.

He was becoming more and more vocal at her unabashed discovery of his body and the new emotion swirling in her eyes, moaning deeply against her lips. This wasn’t the same as their raunchy quickie in the Twinkie, here he could dig into her until his head was visible at her stomach and repeat the motion for hours. Pull out when they got close and then start right back up as soon as they came down if he pleased. It would be such a fat lie to say that he wasn’t getting off on her wandering touch and dreamy look, the way it seemed like she’d been longing to have him near. JJ adjusted the tiniest bit to increase the torturously deep thrusting while still maintaining a calculated speed that had her seeing stars. “Yes, yes,” (Y/N) whimpered out trembling as her fingers paused at his hips to squeeze. Her hypersensitive center was clamping down on his throbbing dick welcoming the new depth.

JJ was jabbing at her cervix ruthlessly, sliding against her velvet walls, reaching crevices she hadn’t known existed. Hitting the spot inside of her that sent her heels digging into the bed and toes curling. And like the criminal he was, JJ’s hand found the crook of her left knee forcing her leg up to reach even deeper. His balls constricted, all too close to finishing. “That’s it, yeah- yes- right there,” JJ was deaf to everything except the obscene sloshing sounds coming from between them and the impure filth intertwining with their muffled words. It was the only thing that could be heard from her room.

“JJ I-,” her high pitched whine fell off, not able to recall what she had intended to say. The heat in her core was seconds away from snapping like a rubber band. He was clouding every inch of her mind and every corner of her body. (Y/N)’s senses were experiencing a dramatic overload that left her repeating one single name in her mind. JJ. “I know- I know pretty girl,” he soothed patronizingly, walls tightening around him at the use of a pet name. He couldn’t help the grunt and snap of his hips upwards. “You’re so close (Y/N). Squeezing- fuck- my cock. Want me to fill your pretty little pussy again?”

Her hands shot out to grab at his muscular back, clawing lines down the smooth, fresh skin that had him hissing. JJ lost it, the sensually deep pace he had maintained turning into sloppier thrusts as she marked him this time. His shark necklace knocked into her chin with every upwards slam into her. The sight of it dangling down his neck was a turn on by itself. “Answer me,” JJ’s tone was dominant, the hand in her hair yanked at it as he made her glazed over eyes focus on him and not the necklace. His face was almost red, eyes dark and demanding as his hair tickled her forehead. “You need my cock and cum Princess, but do you want it?” JJ slammed into her, emphasizing every choice word, “You want me? I’ll make you cum right now, if you tell me who you want (Y/N).” JJ didn’t have (or want) to say his name since they both knew who he was referring to. Who the two choices were. His entire mind, body, and soul ached to know the answer and the devil on his shoulder used this moment to get it.

(Y/N)’s mouth opened and closed like a fish’s. The endorphins washing over her through his cruelly delicious attack made it hard to string a sentence. But the response was all too easy. He owned her. Even if karma was righteous and she never got the chance to give her whole self to him sexually and emotionally, JJ still held claim to her heart and pleasure no matter how much he doubted it. “Yo-,” she didn’t have to finish it. JJ’s arms wrapped under her shoulders, holding his body against hers until they could feel their hearts pounding inside. He jerked his hips into her, surpassing the rhythm he had set for himself. He was barely pulling out at this point, only an inch or two escaping before he was plunging back into her. That was all it took for both of them to fall apart.

His pelvic bone pressured her clit in just the right way for her eyes to roll to the back of her head. (Y/N)’s jaw went limp, hands finding JJ’s blonde locks and clinging for dear life as every single muscle in her body clenched. Her fifth orgasm of the night hit her like a car crashing into a brick wall at two hundred miles per hour, lifting her into a blissed out state with the wracking waves of pleasure. She shook in his grasp, reaching a high like no other as everything went silent around her. A broken high pitched noise and his loud moan vibrating against her is the last thing she heard.

JJ felt his cock squeezed by her spasming pussy, sending him over his own edge a second later. His mind fully warped around the sensation, eyes squeezing shut. “Holy.. fuck,” he exclaimed in a raspy voice while bulldozing into her in sync with his knee moving upwards and holding her lifted leg against the bed harshly. Their peaks magnified by the rawness of their feelings that had boiled over. Thick spurts of JJ’s cum coating her insides as he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck. Bright dots littered his vision from the vigorous orgasm that claimed every part of him from the bottoms of his feet to the vein protruding in his neck.

Neither one of them even realized when JJ’s thrusts became lazier, losing energy as he came down. His pants coming out short and heavy onto her skin. The arms that had wrapped around her weakened their hold from the exhaustion setting in. He stilled at some point, breathing in the sweat of their sins and the scent of her floral perfume that lingered on the sheets around them consuming JJ’s senses. Laying with her in his arms still felt like a fever dream. If not for the mess they had made, JJ would’ve let them fall asleep right there. Kept himself snug and warm with her cunt. But he sluggishly lifted himself up instead having a promise to keep, his eyes finding their way to her face.

She was looking straight through everything in her line of sight like she was in a dreamlike state. That’s when he noticed how relaxed her body was beneath him, the shallow breathing. She’d been too quiet and hadn’t even lifted a finger to touch him. “Hey (Y/N)?” JJ murmured bringing his hand up to cup her cheek gently, caressing it with his thumb. He scanned over her face in confusion. It took a moment to realize it only because he couldn’t really believe it. More so doubting his capabilities. But seeing how far away she looked, JJ had to know he had fucked her into subspace. “(Y/N)?” JJ repeated a little louder realizing if he had, he certainly didn’t know how to pull her out of it. Panic began to settle in as his other hand went to her hair again, stroking through it with care and tenderness. “Hey Princess come back for me? It’s JJ,” the thought of having to call the one person who might know made him want to bury his fist in the closest wall.

She blinked once.

The hands offering solace and comfort were the first things she felt.

Then she blinked twice.

His honey-like voice urging her to return to him right before the glowing stars stuck to her ceiling began to look brighter.

Then finally her unfocused eyes were looking back at him. The fingers tangling through strands of her hair with a sense of uneasiness and his gentle voice asking for her was the only thing that managed to reach her. (Y/N) had never felt like that before, like she was transcending elsewhere. An out of body experience that she’d be unable to describe if asked. “JJ?” she mumbled, breathing a little heavier now. “What happened?” she questioned as he looked at her with sudden bewilderment which made her a little nervous. “You don’t know what happened? You’ve never reached subspace before?” She could hear it in his voice. The surprise that she’d done it with him and the boost of ego that came with not having done it with John B. The blush on her cheeks spread quickly, eyes closing as she buckled under his intense stare. (Y/N) was still basking in the glow from their shared orgasm which made it harder to think but she knew the answer.

She truthfully never had. There was times with John B she thought she might, but she’d been laced with uncertainty. (Y/N) would slow them down before her mind could wander off. It was always what she considered to be an irrational fear since John B would realistically never let something happen to her, but with JJ she had willingly let it happen. No, subconsciously, let it happen. Her body hadn’t fought it at all. “I’ve- no. I’ve never done that,” she admitted in a whisper looking anywhere but him. But his fingers found her chin, tilting her head back to him so their eyes could meet. The lust was replaced with something that (Y/N) had never seen in them before. Something she would call love if it didn’t sound absolutely insane. JJ Maybank in love with her. “S’not a big deal,” she tried to act like it wasn’t but it certainly felt like it.

JJ nodded carefully, acting with caution as she retreated back into her thoughts. He knew her too well by now. When things scared (Y/N), she’d pull away from them. She’d let her overthinking do the work before risking herself getting hurt. He didn’t want to push her back into her shell now. Not now that he had gotten a taste of her. That he had managed to open her up more than. Usually it was him running from any form of commitment, yet here he was practically salivating for it. “Yeah,” he sounded unconvinced but (Y/N) was glad he didn’t dwell on it. He winced as she shifted, his softening member grazing against her walls making her eyes flutter and plump lips part. “Tired?” JJ’s softness wasn’t easy to ignore considering she was used to his hard exterior hiding his emotions. They hadn’t actually gotten to this part earlier. JJ had to rush back before John B suspected anything while she had given herself the mercy of a couple of minutes to gather herself.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) breathed out letting her eyes close softly, still feeling the aftershocks of her intense orgasm and hopelessly attempting to run away from the thoughts in her mind. JJ did know her too well. Her eyes squeezed tighter as she felt JJ pull out, another round of their juices sneaking down between her crack and onto the bed. She might have to change the whole mattress honestly. JJ had to bite back an audible noise that wanted to spill out from the sight of it. His shiny, slick dick twitched below him. After cumming twice, he doesn’t understand how she holds enough power over him to illicit a response like this. JJ was capable of fucking her again if given the opportunity. But her sleepy eyes gave her away. They were both exhausted.

He moved farther away, only to pick her up bridal style from where she lay earning a low gasp. “What’re you doing?” (Y/N) mumbled, lacking the strength to fight him off at this present time. Her arms wound around his neck quickly in fear of diving headfirst into her oak wood floor but she had a feeling he wouldn’t let that happen. The muscles in his arms flexed as he walked her into the bathroom, only confusing her more. “I owe you a bath,” JJ stated like it was obvious when he saw her bewildered expression, leaning down to sit her onto the bathtub gently. Her heart felt tight in her chest having completely forgotten about her bath. All in all, it would’ve been pointless had she taken it earlier with JJ always getting his way.

She watched as he leaned down to switch the warm water on, closing the drain when it was at a nice temperature. The water crept through her toes first before touching the underside of her thigh. (Y/N) sighed at the way it soothed her aching skin and throbbing mound. He went to push the lid down on the toilet, eyeing it and lifting an eyebrow when it lowered gently. Kooks, he thought instantly. JJ turned to face her and take a seat. “You’re not getting in?” The question startled him, like that’s not what he’d been planning on doing whatsoever. “Uhm- I can… Figured I’d just give you one so you could get to bed and I’ll go after,” there he went again, tugging on emotions that she’d spent months hiding under a rug. She couldn’t get it through her head, why JJ was evoking a reaction from her that she didn’t know existed, one that didn’t compare to John B. If she thought she had loved JB then what was this? Fooling herself into believing that words during sex were simply just that was becoming impossible.

“I mean- s’a bit silly? I’m already in here.. You need sleep too. Might as well get in,” she tilted her head slightly, glancing at him with such fondness that could take his breath away. JJ swallowed as he stood up and slid inside behind her, finding the same relief in his joints that she had. She scooted backwards until their bodies were touching, laying back onto his solid chest with closed eyes. His body relaxed as she decided what boundaries they could cross outside of sex. They let the running water fill the comfortable silence as they nestled into each other. A conversation about where this was leading was probably in order, but it was easier to remain ignorant. To stay quiet in hopes of stretching out the moment in case it didn’t last.

JJ’s fingers danced on the edge of her thigh until they gradually spread for him. He traced around the bruise he’d left her close to apologizing for the purple emerging but also finding pride in being the one that left it on her. It dawned on him that John B could’ve seen it earlier if he had found out the way JJ had intended him to. His eyes peered over her features curiously, wondering if she had actually listened to his sex induced demand. He felt guilty now that it was John B’s girlfriend he had done that to. (Y/N) who wouldn’t hurt a fly unless it had messed with her own. His long-time best friend who he had betrayed in a way he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy. But his feelings for her made him act out in the moment instead of apologize. Made him want to rub it in JB’s face that her pleasure belonged to him. He let out a soft sigh, wanting to ask but lacking the courage. Her body was rising and falling in rhythm with his breathing, being covered by the water as it continued to rise. The bathroom fell quiet again as she peeked her eyes open to extend her foot and turn the handle off.

Once she did, her eyes fell on the place JJ’s fingers were making her skin shiver. With his other hand, he reached for her expensive looking body wash on the edge of the tub and the washcloth dangling close to their heads. She watched inquisitively as he dipped the rag in water squeezing the excess away and poured an ungracious amount of soap which made her giggle. He finally cracked a smile at that, leaving the bottle open as he set it back down. If JJ could get her to make that noise every day, it might just all be worth it in the end.

He began to lather her upper body first, feeling her jump slightly against him when his fingers grazed over her abused nipples. It felt nice though, domestic even. Him washing off the remnants of their day from her body. If only it was as easy to erase the memories. “I have to talk to him tomorrow,” she was the first to interrupt the silence making his smile falter and disappear like it’d never been there in the first place. He didn’t respond for a minute, just continuing to glide the washcloth over her thigh then down. He wiped meticulously between her legs knowing she was overly sensitive there now which was confirmed by the way her thighs went to shut but he stopped them.

“‘Bout what?” he didn’t mean it to be such a broad question but the snort she responded with made him aware of it. JJ knew what she wanted to discuss, he just didn’t know how to ask whether it’ll end with them breaking up officially or attempting to reconcile. (Y/N) wanted to pretend like he was being oblivious on purpose and not like she was reading into what was really going on. (Y/N)’s mind was muddled by the delicate way he was cleaning her off and the zero control she showed around him. Truthfully, she’d been inwardly swaying between the two boys for too long now.

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders half-heartedly, watching his hand move down her tilted leg. The air felt heavy with the words spoken during intimacy. After being so forthcoming about who she’d choose, JJ still had an unwarranted fear that she would retract. Blame everything on the fact that she was lost chasing her high. He’d obviously excelled in that department, granting her with several orgasms but who she needed emotionally was still poking at him. It was an unintentionally loaded question that left her feeling anxious inside. “Don’t know yet.”

JJ didn’t speak again after that, he simply kept up his goal of bathing her. The washcloth smoothed over the bite on her shoulder making her whimper and throb at the same time. JJ was astonished with himself, finding it hard to believe he’d been capable of doing actual damage. But (Y/N)’s breathing was a tiny bit heavier, eyes opened halfway as she attempted to conceal how she felt about it. He had picked up on enough of her cues to know she had thrived off of it, during sex and now. JJ inhaled through his nose, free hand moving to tug at his cock slightly that had twitched. He wanted to do more, bite her thighs until his teeth tore through the flesh and tinted her tan with crimson red. Then soothe the skin with his tongue before repeating the act on her other thigh. Now that he had her, his possessiveness had gone into hyperdrive. Satiated only by the idea of his bite mark on her delicate skin.

Once she was covered in suds and the passion fruit smell filled his senses, he used the same washcloth on himself trying to distract and recollect himself before his animalistic kink was mentioned. (Y/N) had lifted up slightly allowing him to clean his front section too lost in her own mind to notice his revelation. She wanted to be the one to wash him, travel his body in the same way but by the time she got done overthinking, he seemed about done. She tugged on her bottom lip softly, opening the drain again to let out the dirty water. JJ sat up behind her and poured shampoo onto his hand before slipping his fingers through her wet hair unexpectedly. His fingers scratched softly at the scalp hearing a content hum from the girl in front of him. This was out of the norm for him, putting so much effort into aftercare. Girls would leave his room before he put any thought into them needing even a shower or rest. He was a dick and a player. He was well aware of that. JJ was also well aware that he wasn’t a dick and a player when it came to her.

He repeated the steps with the conditioner after washing her hair out with the clean water she was filling the bathtub up with. Before JJ could do it for himself, (Y/N) was turning around in between his legs and taking the shampoo from his grasp. She wouldn’t let the chance slip through her fingers. “You’ll smell like me,” she warned with a teasing smile softening the worry etched in their faces. JJ just stared at her. The lines on her forehead, the curve of her button nose, the undeserving kindness she showed him. Then he shrugged in the same manner she had. “Good,” he replied without a second thought to it making her blush reappear on her cheeks and down her neck.

(Y/N)’s soft hands ran shampoo through the blonde forcing his eyes to shut and an embarrassing moan to escape. But she giggled again. An onslaught of butterflies in his abdomen making him feel queasy. How could he really feel bad for his actions when everything inside of him turned into mush around her. “Never had someone wash your hair before?” It was supposed to be a joke but JJ gave her a small nod as he let his body relax from her touch. “Guess it’s a night of firsts,” he murmured reminding her that he’d been the first to drop her. She let out a shaky breath as he sunk into the water to wash off the shampoo.

He lifted out from the water, barely having a chance to rub the water out of his eyes before soft lips were finding his. There was no delay as he kissed her back, arms wrapping around her loosely to pull her closer. He straightened out his legs so that she could slide onto his lap with ease. Her fingers tangled in his hair that now looked a little darker from the water. They tugged tentatively, willing him to open his mouth for her. Her chest pressed against his just a little tighter as they deepened the kiss. He relinquished control under her, letting her continue to guide the pace they were moving at. Her tongue slid against his, tasting him.

The kiss grew lazy, mouths moving against one another for the sole purpose of being able to in the private confines of her bathroom. His hands found the curves of her waist, sliding over them to her back and then down to grab handfuls of her ass. He lifted her closer to him centers aligning as she gasped into the kiss. She moved slightly but one of JJ’s hands found sanctuary wound around her throat. He pulled (Y/N) back to him, lips melting into a more meticulous kiss. He licked between her lips once, then twice with a particularly jarring squeeze to her ass cheek. She complied more willing than she gave away. JJ’s tongue circled hers, groaning as she began to pull away. (Y/N) kept their forehead and noses connected. “J?” she mumbled resting her palms on his torso and digging her fingers in softly.

“Yeah?” he breathed out reaching forward slightly in attempt to catch her lips again but she didn’t let him. “Conditioner?” she asked which made him chuckle and shake his head slightly without pulling away. JJ kept his hands in place and used them to stand up with her, water pouring down from both their bodies while she scrambled to find a grip on his shoulders. “You think my dad buys shampoo and conditioner? Think I’m good with shampoo,” he didn’t mean it like that, but the pang of guilt and sadness hit her nonetheless. JJ didn’t even bother to empty out the bath water just to check that no more was falling in, ignoring her chirps of protest once he led them out of the bathroom.

“JJ- my bed. I swear-.”

“Swear what?”

He hovered her above the clean side of the mattress, a mischievous smirk finding its way. “I-I..,” she couldn’t come up with a rebuttal fast enough before he was dropping onto the bed with her and laying them down. (Y/N) wanted to be mad but a laugh is what came out instead as he tugged her close against him, facing one another. “Too slow,” he deemed letting the pillows pave a way to the drowsiness kicking in. He didn’t expect it to happen so quickly but he really was worn out. JJ’s blue eyes began to flutter in front of her and she laid her hand on his cheek gently. All it took was that for them to close completely.

(Y/N) took in this freshly washed version of JJ getting comfy in her bed. She’d be in so much trouble if her dad caught them. He was used to John B. Accepting of his daughter dating a Pogue because they’d become well aquatinted together while working on The Druthers. But JJ Maybank? Son of the town drunk who was notorious for stealing and picking fights with anyone in his life including JJ? He’d have a heart attack from his hatred toward Luke and JJ, who he had already had a couple of run ins with at the Island Club. Although, no matter how much trouble she could get into, he still looked unbearably cute releasing soft puffs of air her way.

“Look whose tired now,” she teased as he fought to keep himself awake through the rubbing of her thumb and the welcoming satin feel of the pillowcase. JJ mumbled incoherently switching between the comfort her hand offered and the darkness looming. He slipped further into the vulnerable limbo of sleep when he spoke next. “It’s not just sex to me (Y/N).”

The words hung in the air as he finally drifted off, snores interrupting the thudding off her heart in her throat. It was bittersweet to hear him utter the words her body craved from him. What she felt for John B didn’t come close to this. She would be in denial if she didn’t face it. (Y/N) didn’t see any plausible way to make this work though, even if she wanted it to. John B and JJ were as thick as thieves. Best friends for life. She had already come between that and caused enough damage. If she chose one of them now, their friendships would never be the same. Between any of them, not just the three that were now stuck in a love triangle.

With the weight of the world on her shoulders and the peace offered by the warmth he radiated, she let herself be taken over by the same darkness. After a long, perplexing day, both of them were drained mentally and physically. Any apprehension she felt could wait till tomorrow. Not even her overthinking could keep her up tonight. And if JJ fell asleep remembering that he hadn’t mentioned John B’s name again the whole night, well. He kept it to himself.

*****

“(Y/N)?” she heard faintly making her snuggle further into the damp sheets and comforters that were colder now without the presence of body heat at her side.

“Five more minutes,” she urged in the haze not wanting to awaken just yet but the voice was persistent and annoying on the other side of her door. Her doorknob rattled as the intruder attempted to open it which is what made her stir finally. “Five more- (Y/N) get up,” Rafe’s frustrated voice rang from the outside of her bedroom which made her eyes peek at last. Instead of being met with an empty room though, JJ was standing in front of her bathroom with wide eyes, her toothbrush hanging from his mouth, and low-hanging boxers. “Dad said you were supposed to come to the country club with us. Hurry up,” Rafe rushed her assuming she’d been in the process of getting ready when she had completely forgotten.

(Y/N) had promised she’d go to dinner with them Saturday afternoon since she’d been spending so much time with John B and her friends on The Cut. She had never slept into the afternoon though. With a quick flicker of her eyes to the clock that read 4:56 P.M. and back to a half naked JJ, memories of yesterday flooded her. Any tiredness that remained was long gone now as she shot up from the bed, holding the comforter to her naked chest. “Uhm- yeah,” (Y/N)’s called out more firmly now that she was fully awake. “Tell dad I’m not feeling well- I’ll go to dinner tomorrow.” There was a pause on the other side of the door as JJ took the toothbrush out of his mouth.

“Is John B in there with you?” Rafe accused which made JJ’s fingers twitch with jealousy. He had to refrain himself from calling out to him and making it clear that it was him and not John B who had the privilege of waking up at her side this morning. “God Rafe no,” (Y/N) claimed in exasperation, irritated with the way this conversation with going. She shouldn’t feel guilty about the flash of anger in JJ’s blue eyes but she did. “I was just out late at The Boneyard. Got a massive hangover. Tell him I’m sick,” (Y/N) lied but it was the only thing that she knew would convince him. They had seen each other in passing last night so there was no reason Rafe wouldn’t believe her. It seemed to work though as he huffed from the other side.

“And you’re still the favorite?” He asked rhetorically and bitterly as heavy footsteps began making their way away from her door hinting at his departure. They both waited another minute before visibly relaxing now that they weren’t caught. She moved her attention back to JJ who made his way into the restroom to spit out the toothpaste and rinse his mouth out. There were bright, red gashes down his back making her breath hitch as she realized she was the blame. She tried to shake the thought away, ignoring the stirring in her pit. Like she had enjoyed staking her own claim. (Y/N) paid attention to what she should be disgusted in instead. JJ was using her toothbrush, the one she’d been using daily for the last month. But it warmed her heart a little that JJ hadn’t minded using it. He was so calm, walking around her room and using her things like he belonged there. Yesterday she had woken beside John B in the Chateau and today she had JJ in her bedroom on Figure Eight. Oh how the tables had turned.

It’s not just sex to me (Y/N).

The words made their way to the forefront of her mind as she chewed on her bottom lip watching him. He turned to her with a nonchalant, unreadable expression on his face. “So round 3?” He joked as he threw the hand towel he used to dry his face across his shoulder and crossed his arms in front of her. The way his eyes scanned her body hidden by the covers made her question whether it was indeed a joke or not though. The area between her legs reawakened from the way he hungrily looked her over like she’d been served to him on a silver platter. It became obvious rather quickly that they couldn’t be alone anymore without succumbing to the temptation.

“No,” (Y/N) said adamantly as she stood up dragging the covers behind her and retrieving a matching lavender lace bra and panty set to wear. She moved to the closet after a quick slam of the drawer and found jean shorts with a simple white t-shirt to wear. “You’d look better in mine,” JJ hummed from where he stood checking her out as she bit back a snarky remark and evaded the idea of herself in his clothing. It seemed as though they were back to normal, pushing until the other broke. Clearly last nights words were lost to the night. (Y/N) turned to make her way towards the bathroom acting unbothered with the tips of ear feeling a little hot and heart skipping a beat in her chest. He made no effort to move out of her way, just grinned with entertainment. His favorite past time was pushing her buttons until she snapped. This time pushing her buttons held a new type of reward that he wanted to relive a dozen times over.

(Y/N) scoffed at him though, squinting her eyes in mock anger to see if he would budge. But he simply peered down towards the sheet covering her chest and leaned closer to her. “I said-,” his thumb running across her bottom lip made her falter. The want in his eyes was pouring into her all too quickly. She was trying to make sense of this situation she had landed herself into but JJ made it easy to lose track of everything. Her heart and body yearned for things that she wasn’t allowed to have. She couldn’t explain how she had let herself be roped into the mess that is JJ. He was too good at reminding her though, lowering his hand down her jaw to her throat. He closed the space, tightening his fingers and feeling the jump in her pulse.

It was that small detail that made him act. “I know what you said,” he murmured before whirling them around so that her back hit the wall next to the door. His hand rested above her head, effectively trapping her against his body. “You said no… But you’re just so reactive,” he claimed as his leg slid between hers. The position mirrored the one from last night lighting the flame of arousal with memories and nothing but the thin sheet covering her as his bare thigh rubbed against her core. JJ felt it immediately, the wetness seeping through and making him groan quietly. Her breathing was already picking up, cheeks becoming flushed in a matter of seconds. “See Princess? I know what you like,” he did. In a matter of twenty four hours he had picked up on every cue that gave away what made her tick. “Like when your dad woke me up knocking on the door. I was so hard,” he pressed against her harder, “I know you would’ve liked me waking you up by stuffing you full of my cock.”

“JJ..,” she moaned his name without thinking moving her hand to grip at his wrist in a warning. Her knees wanted to give out under her from the indecency he was spewing. He leaned down to feather his lips across her ear feeling her tremble against his body. “Should’ve made you scream daddy so he knew who owned his daughter now,” JJ whispered with a menacing squeeze that made her whimper, breaths coming out short. She would’ve been on the floor now had it not been for his grip on her neck. He almost devoured her the second he felt the damp spot on the sheet grow at his words. His boxers were constricting at a rapid pace now that he discovered a new kink as his lips latched onto her shoulder close to where his bite mark was. “You like that? Like imagining daddy shoving his cock into his sleeping girl?” JJ groaned sending vibrations through her skin that made her body arch into him.

“Fuck- J,” (Y/N) gasped out catching him off guard and shoving him abruptly from where he stood. JJ’s eyes were darker now, taking one step forward ready to pounce before he noticed the fiery look she held. His chest was rising and falling now fighting himself from reaching out and taking her again. “I’m serious. Last night was sex. That’s all it was, okay? We spent months playing this little game and it was bound to happen. Now it’s out of our system,” it was a lie when she said it, they both knew it, “and it doesn’t have to happen again. I have to go apologize to John B.” She moved to the bathroom and closed the door behind herself with a loud thud before he had the chance to rebuttal. She leaned back into it closing her eyes and inhaling deeply.

(Y/N) hadn’t intended to be so mean with her words but he wasn’t listening to her and she needed him to remember why he hated her before they met. It was easier to have JJ hate her. If he did, she wouldn’t be going through all these conflicting thoughts in her head. She suddenly wished her mom was still here. She would have had the best advice for her. It probably would’ve gone something along the lines of follow your heart but her mom hadn’t met JJ yet, the culprit of her swaying heart. (Y/N) sighed rubbing her entire face as if that would somehow wake her up from her nightmare.

After a moment of alone time to calm her unfurling heat, she got dressed with the clothes she had brought into the bathroom. Her hair was a mess from where she had fallen asleep with it wet so she most definitely had to brush it. The memory of them in the bathtub made her pause in the mirror. She could still feel his fingers tracing the bruise he had left and the adoring way he had cleaned every corner of her body. He didn’t deserve her attitude yet she had given it to him anyways. No matter how much John B was probably blaming JJ, it was ultimately her fault for giving into the desire. It was such a frustrating notion to her that she wanted to punch the mirror in front of her but she’d end up hurting herself more than accomplishing anything.

Her moment of alone time turned into twenty minutes of stress-filled pacing. JJ’s wary knock at the door is what snapped her out of it. She ran a hand through her wavy hair before opening it and finding JJ wearing his outfit from the night before with concern written all over his face. JJ knew he had gotten caught up in the heat of the moment when she strutted around with nothing but a sheet on. She had that power over him, to rile him up without actively doing anything. JJ still wanted to give her any necessary space before trying to speak to her but she was taking too long and he was frightened by how often she fell victim to her doubts. “You okay?” he checked in with her, scanning her face which was devoid of any clues as to how she was feeling. His hand tentatively reached up to brush some hair behind her ear gently making her heart do somersaults. “Yeah,” she mumbled unable to resist nudging against his hand to melt into it as a small peace offering, bathing in the warmth his body offered her.

She was supposed to be angry, shoving him away. But the whirlwind going on inside of her tugged her from one side to the other. JJ kept his hand there, soothingly rubbing circles into her cheek. He was still cautious as he stepped closer to her, to wrap an arm around her delicate waist and better angle his hand. Her eyes never left his as she allowed him to bring her into his embrace. (Y/N) wanted to fight against it inside but her body melted into his without letting her second guess it. “I’ll go talk to JB with you,” he finally told her after a minute or two of calming her down. He already behaved like a coward leaving the Chateau before things got out of hand. Which meant JJ had to go and at least try to apologize and own up to the fact that he just should’ve gone about things a different way. He didn’t know how well that’d fare over or how he’d handle John B’s valid attitude towards them, especially her, but he would try nonetheless. At least that’s what he also told Kie last night. But he kept that conversation to himself for now.

Him joining her was shocking, enough for her eyes to swirl with uncertainty. “JJ- I don’t know. What if it’s not a good idea?” she mumbled then, her hand fisting his shirt as the anxiety of what was about to occur began to eat her up. If there was something she struggled to keep within, it would be the tell-tale sign of her nerves. Her heartbeat would run amuck and the nausea would hit her in a way she could barely keep her balance. This time instead of needing a Zofran it was JJ who helped keep her breathing steady and panic attack at bay. His fingers slipped under her shirt in the back, tracing his hand to her hip and offering her a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t care honestly. I’ve got some things I have to apologize for too,” he sighed hoping this could’ve been pushed back maybe just a week. That would give him enough time to settle into whatever this was and break her cement walls down. But she couldn’t live another day knowing how mad John B had been yesterday. It hurt her because she’d been the one to cause so much agony. And no matter what happened, John B still held a place in her heart which complicated things further in her mind. There was a war between her heart and brain that she just wanted to end one way or another. “And I messed up last night. Not with John B but with you. Takes two to tango and I shouldn’t have left you alone,” he added then assuaging her guilt. His fingers ran over her hip bone, circling there for a minute before pressing in slightly.

The look on her face when she walked into her room last night would be engrained into his hippocampus forever. The wet puffy cheeks, bloodshot eyes, broken exterior. He blamed himself for that. For causing her so much turmoil. But he was selfish at the same time, glad that he’d been the one to find her. The back of her mind made it a point to notice that he regretted not being there for her, not the actual sin they committed. This new side of him was frightening yet everything she wanted at the same time. (Y/N) nodded wordlessly as her hip nudged out slightly into his palm, comforted by the soft caressing while also conflicted. Not knowing how to respond to him when she couldn’t process the change in their dynamic. She also knew there’d be no stopping him even if she wanted to.

“We can take my bike, stashed it in some bushes,” the casual words summoned an unexpected laugh from her. She hadn’t thought about how he had gotten to her house last night, too distracted by his unholy mouth and skilled hands. It made sense that he would’ve had to hide the green worn down bike so that nobody called the cops with stupid accusations. A small smile danced on her lips as she pulled away to lead them out of her bedroom. “I’ve never ridden on your bike,” the comment made him return the same mischievous grin while glancing at the hallway.

“Never had a girl besides Kie on my bike,” it shouldn’t have made her feel jealous but God, it was like an accidental flip of a switch, there were so many times she had thought they liked each other. Hearing that she was the only girl to ride with him made her miss a step on the way down the staircase to which JJ’s hand jumped out to grab her arm quickly. A small embarrassed smile shot his way before he let go with a small squeeze to her forearm and she continued down the steps hastily. He noticed it, noticed the unintended affect his words had. But before he could add something else in, a younger girl was walking out of a bedroom at the same time they were approaching the second floor.

Wheezie’s eyes bulged out of her head behind her glasses, looking from (Y/N)’s widened eyes to the frozen stranger behind her. “That’s not John B,” her sister stated the obvious lowering her phone with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. She had also been informed by Rafe that their sister was supposedly bed-ridden with a gnarly hangover which didn’t seem to be the case at all. “Nope, JJ,” he introduced himself with a half-assed smile not intending to come across as rude but seriously. Did people have to keep mentioning him? She crossed her arms over her chest with such a wicked smile.

“Okay Wheezie. John B knows so you can’t use that against me,” (Y/N) blurted out immediately recognizing the intentions behind her sisters stance. But the younger girl just smiled wider, taking a pause to come up with something else. “Well dad doesn’t know. He doesn’t let guys spend the night remember?” she reminded her of Ward’s rules to let her know she had them by the balls. (Y/N) cursed under her breath looking down the steps to the first floor before meeting Wheezie’s eyes and running her fingers through her hair. Normally they always got along with minimal issues. But if Wheezie caught a scent of wrongdoing, she was like a dog with a bone.

“Fine. I’ll do whatever you want. Just tell me later because we’ve really got to go,” (Y/N) gave in as she stepped down the last step with JJ following suit now that the situation was handled. Wheezie let out an excited squeal running back into her room to surely make a whole list of things that she would make (Y/N) do. The girl couldn’t even help the chuckle that escaped her lips as they walked the rest of the way to the main floor. She had to give it to her sister. Wheezie was indeed too smart for her own good. “I like her. She’s a hustler,” JJ nodded with a serious tone that made (Y/N) laugh a bit too loudly and shake her head. He cracked a big grin, teeth showing and eyes crinkling at the sound that had his heart swelling.

With one last glance up the stairs where her sister resided, (Y/N) headed out the door with a happy smile feeling a little more airy than before. It felt odd to have JJ walking through her house, meeting one of her family members. Her life with the Pogues this summer had been an adventure of a lifetime and she didn’t tend to mix it too much with her home life. Even John B had only come over a handful of times for dinner in the short couple months of them dating. And he really only slept over once or twice. Kie was the exception. They had plenty of sleepovers at both houses. It’s not that she was ashamed of the guys, it was more like she was ashamed of her life. The pointless knick knacks that rich people bought, the amount of empty bedrooms, the sense of entitlement that the people in her life had. Money would always come and go, as long as she had her real family, the Pogues, with her then everything would be alright.

“She’s like my sister though so it doesn’t count,” JJ spoke, bringing her out of her thoughts as they walked down the lawn. (Y/N) glanced over at him with a puzzled look on her face which made him pause at the side gate they were coming up to. She pulled the gate door open until she realized he wasn’t walking through. “Kie?.. She’s like my sister so it doesn’t count… You’re the first girl to ride my bike,” he put emphasis on the word by stepping closer to her, using his knuckle to brush against the back of hers before feathering his fingertips up her arm and shoulder. (Y/N)’s heart began to pound in her chest when she picked up on what he was saying. His fingers continued until he cupped her chin, thumb pulling her bottom lip softly before releasing it and watching it bounce back. JJ was enthralled by the sight and she him.

No matter how much she wanted to release herself from the guilt and kiss him until their lips were sore and raw, (Y/N) also wanted to tell him to quit it. To stop making this more difficult than needed but somehow the world slips away when he’s near. Her bottom lip was lit on fire where the pad of his thumb touched, she was drawn to him like a magnet. His head inched forward almost as if waiting for her to push him away. “J..,” she mumbled reaching her hand up onto his chest, running her palm across it until she arrived at his shark tooth necklace and tugged slightly. She did nothing to pull away from him as the memory of it hitting her chin surfaced and weakened her with the tingles it provoked. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered as his lips ghosted over hers. His tongue slipped out to lick his bottom lip, purposefully smoothing over hers. (Y/N) tugged hard on the necklace not even a second later unable to refrain herself. Their lips connected, JJ’s hand molding into the curve of her neck while the other got lost in her hair. Kissing JJ felt like the first time every time. It was passionate, breath-taking.

Her knees wanted to buckle in his hold, sensing the adoration mixed in. It was like JJ read her mind, the way he walked her back into the gate. (Y/N)’s back met the searing metal that only added to the heat escalating the temperature of her body. But he didn’t let his hand roam. Instead he deepened the kiss, putting spotlight attention on taking the breath out of her lungs. He explored every corner, tasted the mint of her toothpaste, memorized the way her tongue slid against his. JJ could only focus on the moment, shoving every worry aside with ease. It was the way her fingers brushed the bare skin under his shirt that had him pressing her body into the fence.

(Y/N) gasped, tilting her head to the side away from him slightly to pant for air. JJ just saw the opportunity to kiss up the curve of her jaw, causing her eyes to flutter. Her nails dug into the crook of his v-line just as he reached the spot on her neck that twisted knots in her belly. JJ had to stifle a groan, sucking on the sensitive skin possessively and with fervor as his hand gripped her hair straining her neck as forced it up. He moved with gentle yet frantic urgency, swiping his tongue every so often to hear the mewl that escaped her lips. The pleasure and stinging sensation blinding her from how careless leaving yet another mark on her was. It wasn’t until he was satisfied and she was whining from the discomfort evolving that he pulled back to admire his work ignoring the temptation to see red. His lips parted, short harsh breaths washing over the darkened spot on her neck. (Y/N) let out an involuntary whimper at the feeling, meeting his forehead with hers to sway his attention.

JJ’s hold loosened at the same time a car engine roared through the street. Had cars been passing by the whole time? Neither one had been able to hear a thing besides the person in front of them. He still preferred to focus on the lines and dips of her face over the Kooks driving by. It felt like they were in their own bubble, rid of consequences. But some thought would always creep into the front of her mind as the oxygen seemed to reach her head again. It was only a name. But a name that held enough weight to get her to drop her hand from his shirt. JJ’s eyes flashed with something unreadable as he witnessed the moment she slipped away again.

“So I take it that means you only have one helmet?” It was meant to show indifference and lighten the magnitude of the moment but (Y/N)’s voice wobbled. She would’ve looked away the second she said it but the hand on her chin kept her where JJ wanted. The other one fell to his side aching in a similar way her body did. “It’s yours Princess,” JJ spoke with deeper meaning behind the hint of playfulness. The helmet wasn’t the only thing that was hers, his mouth was, his body, his thoughts, the stupid red baseball cap, especially his heart. Most definitely his heart. She could see it in blue of his irises. The intensity behind his words left her speechless once again. As much as she wanted to read between the lines, there were too many obstacles between them.

It was JJ who finally had to muster the strength to pull apart, his fingers tightening just briefly before letting go of her chin completely. He masked his own disappointment with the only way they knew how to communicate. A devious little smirk emerged at the prominent hickey forming on her neck and he rubbed at his jaw contemplating his work. “Damn, there’s no missin’ that,” JJ chuckled snapping her out of it as her hand flew up to her neck to touch the sore area. She cursed under breath, shoving at his arm slightly with her free hand as she lifted away from the fence.

“I think you’ve marked me enough,” (Y/N) huffed not even wanting to imagine what John B’s reaction would be. The bite on her shoulder and the other hickey was covered by the t-shirt, but this one would take more effort to hide. She flipped some of her hair forward which was temporarily successful. It irked JJ to see her covering up the evidence of his touch. He wanted to behave but his jealousy was ravenous. With a mind of it’s own that didn’t think about anybody else. “Don’t think it’s enough if you can still cover them,” he noted, the smirk disappearing into a thin line on his lips. She rolled her eyes at the comment biting back the urge to remind him she wasn’t his. As much as she wanted to wear it proudly, show all the girls on both sides of the island that JJ had been the one to do this, she couldn’t. (Y/N) simply had to ignore how hot his possessive tendencies were.

“Whatever,” she exclaimed, too flustered to find a witty response. She opened the gate again, not waiting for JJ this time around as she slipped through and began walking to the side of her house where JJ had presumably left the bike. He took just another second before following after her, taking the lead since he was the only one who knew where the bike was actually hidden. They glanced at each other for a meager second before (Y/N) was turning her attention to the oncoming car. JJ looked away, clicking his tongue against the rooftop of his mouth as they came up to one particularly big bush. He disappeared behind it before re-emerging pushing the handles out. (Y/N) swallowed the lump in her throat now that they were actually about to leave. She felt frozen as JJ casually hopped onto the bike and turned the key. The sound made her jump in JJ’s peripheral view. He turned his head towards her, reading the hesitance on her expression.

JJ reached his arm back to grab the helmet, nudging it into her stomach gently. “Hey it’ll be fine,” he meant both the bike ride and the conversation with John. But he couldn’t really know if it would be so the attempt at easing her was pointless.. She exhaled for a moment, taking in the tenderness that he spoke with and the affection swimming in the oceans of his eyes before nodding. She took the helmet from his grasp to put it on. Her nervous fingers fiddled with the clasp to close it once it was on. It’s not like she really knew how to do it anyways so the jitters kicking in didn’t help. Her inexperience was so obvious that it was embarrassing. But JJ’s rough fingers snuck past hers, pushing them out of the way to clasp it shut with one easy motion. “There,” his voice was kind, devoid of any judgement or ridicule. The stirring in his chest at the sight of her in his helmet further restricted his ability to breathe.

She slipped onto the bike with a shade of soft pink traveling up her neck. (Y/N) made sure to scoot closer, wrapping her arms around JJ’s torso and holding her hands there in preparation for her first ride. The heat of his body was soothing as the apphrension grew. JJ just always seemed to read her perfectly though, giving her hands a small squeeze before putting both of his on the handles and beginning to ride out onto the street. She let out a small gasp at the wind blowing past them when he really started down the road. It was more exhilarating than she could’ve imagined it being. Her senses were hyper alert, aware of every turn and increase of speed.

He was a pro at it though, weaving through cars and traffic with no issue. JJ could feel her tighten her grip every time they got close to another car. Normally he’d tease Kie, riding as close as he could to it just to hear her yell at him. But with her he sped farther away, not wanting to scare her during her right off the bat. This side of himself was just as surprising to him as it has been to her. The boys would prod and tease him until his grave if they found out. JJ had spent so long trying to convince himself that what he felt was just lust and taboo desire. But now these pent up emotions were finally loose and swirling inside of him he struggled to refrain from from acting normally.

(Y/N) did end up raising her head up very slowly at one point to take in the ocean view at their side. The sun was still out, shining down on the water below and giving it a yellow tint behind the clear blue. The rush she got from the wind hitting every part of her body only heightened the beauty of it. It was enough for her to forget the wave of nausea that had been hitting a few minutes ago and the fear that had kept her glued to his back. JJ had caught sight of her in his mirror, admiring the serenity in her features. (Y/N) looked breathtaking with her freshly washed hair flowing back, her eyes filled with peace. He thinks he understood in that moment that what he felt was called love. There was no other word for it but that. There was no tip-toeing around the way his heart felt like imploding in his chest and his lungs felt like evaporating into thin air when she was near.

Just as quick as it happened though, the semi speeding past them in the lane snapped her out of it. She was back into the curve of his back, helmet smushed into the space between his shoulder blades. Hands wound tightly around him.

They continued the rest of the way in silence. The further they got from Figure Eight, the more her body became rigid against his back. It hit her then that it was an extremely bad idea to show up with JJ but it was too late to turn around now. The familiar streets of the Cut came into view reinforcing her panic. Her grip had cemented so much JJ thought she would actually leave a few bruises or wounds behind. “Nothing’s gonna happen (Y/N),” he tried, lacing his fingers with hers for just a quick second and squeezing before having to grab the handle to turn into the Chateau.

The familiar sound of the dirt bike alerted everyone inside to their presence. John B was darting up from his spot on the couch faster than Kie and Pope could even process it. The front door was propelled open against the siding of the house, John B’s eyes narrowing on JJ who was helping his girlfriend off the dirt bike and then unclasping the helmet for her. “You’re fucking joking right now,” John B saw red, anger etched in his entire soul from head to toe. If looks could kill, they’d be dead and buried deep underground. (Y/N) had the thought to at least cover her neck with her hair and then turn away from JJ to confront the fiery brown eyes shooting daggers their way.

“Hey, it’s not what you think JB please. I just came to apologize. We both did,” (Y/N) spoke in a soft tone to relay just how much she meant it. She hadn’t intended for John B to end up as casualty in the process. She truly hadn’t thought at all in the moment. Kie and Pope came out through the front door to stand behind the fuming man next to them as she took a couple of uncertain steps forward. “Yesterday- that’s not what should’ve happened and I’m so sorry,” (Y/N) pleaded with him but the words couldn’t heal a wound of this nature. Especially not with his best friend standing behind her with crossed arms leaning his bum against the bike looking like a pompous asshole. Her words had stung JJ hard after the revelations they had whispered into the dead of the night. It wasn’t intended to come off as regretful but he couldn’t help but take it as that. Lashing out from the burn of her words, he smirked at John B to provoke him instead of keeping a level head.

“Not what I think? Seriously?” John B seethed not even wanting to voice his deplorable thoughts because they’d be too severe and permanent. He took steps forward to be face to face with (Y/N) but still keeping his distance. His blood was sizzling, eyes pitch-black and somehow losing light by the second. If (Y/N) had thought he was furious yesterday, it had nothing on the anger John B felt with the pair in his sight. “I think you’re just a spoiled Kook that came to experiment with us Pogues. Had fun yet? Whoring around?” John B spat as he kept his focus on her. If he dared to look JJ’s way again he might not be able to restrain himself.

(Y/N)’s eyes watered, taking a step back as Kie tried to rest her hand on the tense muscle of John B’s shoulder to diffuse the tension. Maybe in some way she had come to hear his demeaning words. She felt worthy of them. JJ, however, was the complete opposite. He had managed to keep quiet until know, acting on impulse as he sprung up to shield her from the livid man in front of her. He could accept that John B was more than just resentful, but throwing insults (Y/N)’s way was a line he wouldn’t let JB cross. “Watch your fucking mouth John B. You’re just mad that your little game didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to,” JJ bellowed at him matching his rage with an icy glare, knowing exactly what buttons to press before Kie could set out to cool him off.

JB’s arms ripped out of Kie’s grip in a split second decision, thrusting out to shove at his best friends hard chest with flat palms. It sent him falling back but only provoked him more. JJ looked like the devil. His lips curving into a wicked smile, hair tousled by the wind. Blue eyes were dripping with venom. Quicker than JJ could retaliate, (Y/N)’s small, gentle hands caught the back of his arms before he could stumble into her. “J Please,” (Y/N) begged under her breath into the privacy of his muscular back sounding distraught as she grounded him, “this isn’t why we came here.” He did his best to inhale deeply through a clenched jaw, visibly taking breaths from within to calm himself. It was rare to get him to pull away from the blinding fury once he was absorbed by it but he was helpless, in the mercy of her soft heart. Focusing on the delicate way she tried to soothe him by rubbing small circles into his side. It might’ve almost been enough to end the fight but it only set John B into a spiral witnessing the affectionate exchange. It was now the second time he was reminded of the fact that (Y/N) wasn’t the one winding him down.

“You’re worse than me JJ you know that? Luke Maybank’s kid,” John B landed a low blow that visibly made JJ falter, jaw flexing in rage, “Just another delinquent in the works... ,” he drawled out with a closed fist shove of JJ’s shoulder, the tension skyrocketing around them and pricking the hairs on everyone’s skin. “C’mon John B- this is pointless nothing is getting resolved- we can wait till everyone is ready,” Pope was practically begging as he attempted to tug at John B’s arm. But he was strong-willed and unflinching as he stepped forward to be almost chest to chest to JJ. Blue met brown as their eyes locked, everything eerily quiet. “You think she’s gonna want you?” The vindictive words crashed into him. JJ couldn’t stand being compared to Luke. His dad beat his mom and beat him too and JJ swore that would never be him. And knowing that he wasn’t worthy of (Y/N) was one thing, being reminded of it was another.

Except JJ knew exactly how to retaliate.

His muscles loosened as all the tension was released from his body. A lazy, horrific smile appeared on JJ’s face with cold eyes staring him down. It was a look unlike he’d ever given anyone. Kie was almost quivering just from witnessing it, much less did she want to be on the receiving end of it. He’d spent months pining after her, dealing with with his conflicting emotions, watching his best friend be happy and ignoring his own needs for John B’s sake. But JJ wasn’t going to do that anymore, not when it came to her.

So he knew exactly what to say.

And the color in (Y/N)’s face drained as JJ crept a couple of measured steps until he was standing beside her. She knew what he was going to say before it came out of his mouth.

JJ’s fingers trailed over to her hair, flicking it back as he bit his lip to contain the sinister smile. Everyone’s eyes falling on the darkening hickey as (Y/N) felt her cheeks hot, head spinning and eyes blurry with embarrassment and anger.

“Well JB that’s not what she was saying in her bedroom last night. She wanted me a lot..,” JJ chuckled criminally while maintaining a look of pure satisfaction. Making it clear that (Y/N) had not just wanted him, but begged for it. He practically ate up the shock piercing John B’s features. Just to make sure there was no miscommunication, JJ sunk the knife in further for good measure.

“You know.. her bedroom… with those cute glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling?”

It was Kie that gasped before John B reacted. She’d been in (Y/N)’s room plenty of times to know exactly what he was talking about.

Less than a second later, JJ’s jaw made a worrisome cracking noise as John B connected his balled up fist to it. Despite the metallic taste in his mouth, JJ didn’t hesitate to lunge forward and tackle John B to the ground. Both of them snapped, yelling profanities and taking their rage out on the other. He swung blindly, rings jabbing into John B’s abdomen. The taller man winced, before thrusting his knee upwards and digging it into JJ’s chest.

“JJ!”

“John B!”

Both girls kept yelling and risking a hit by trying to get in the middle of them. But it was next to impossible. Pope jumped up to try to intercept but they were both pushed over the edge now. He couldn’t get a single chance through the flying limbs. They had both been stewing in their rage for too long now. John B had been waiting to do this since last night and seeing as he hadn’t been able to because JJ was on Figure Eight, he was only further enraged. “You were my best fucking friend!” John B shouted as he managed to flip JJ onto his back, punching him coldly without measure. (Y/N) cried out and screamed at them, pleading as she watched JJ close his blue eyes. His body went limp, John B holding him up by the grip on his shirt. She recognized what he was doing because she had done the same thing by coming here. They were both looking to assuage their guilt by looking for punishment from the person they had betrayed.

“John B, he isn’t fighting back!” (Y/N) pleaded loudly with a tear-stricken face, catching his wrist before he could swing again. But he was stronger than her, especially fueled by the burning jealousy and wrath at their infidelity. She was no match for him as he landed another hard blow at JJ. “Fight back!” John B yelled into his face but JJ just gave him a lopsided grin, blood snaking it’s way down his chin to his throat and staining the hem of his colar line. He let out a heart-wrenching yell as his fist landed on the grass next to JJ’s head.

Everyone paused.

John B’s heavy breathing broke through the sounds of the crickets.

They just stared at each other while the other looked on. Almost as if they were communicating without saying a word.

Pope decided to use this momentary pause and separate them, latching on to John B’s shoulders to drag him away. It was relatively easy to do considering JB was no longer fighting back. His eyes were swelling with frustration and fury, tears that he was trying to keep in making their way out at an unstoppable pace. Beating JJ to a pulp would be too easy and he wasn’t even getting the satisfaction of the blonde haired guy pushing back. “You were my best friend and you fucked my girlfriend,” he spoke loudly, but more disheartened towards him watching as (Y/N) knelt at his side to check on the bruising eye.

“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry,” (Y/N) sobbed to both of them, feeling like this was all her fault. Her fingers swiped softly at the blood pooling under JJ’s busted lip making him wince and her heart tighten. “It’s fine Princess. Takes two to tango remember?” JJ’s voice came out raspy, strained by the pain creeping through his body. His eye squinted, groaning at the uncomfortable throbbing coming from his side. John B had managed to get him quite good but she was right, he wanted to get hit. He wanted to be numb, his guilt could subside knowing that his best friend was able to take out the heartbreak and anger he felt on him.

(Y/N) shook her head though, standing up with the weight of her actions crushing her shoulders. If there was any remedy to this situation, it was to cut herself out of the equation completely. How would they be able to fix anything when just her presence caused these emotions to rupture out of them? She would always be a lingering reminder of their infidelity. Her head tilted to the side, watching Pope and Kie attempt to calm John B. She hadn’t even noticed until now that Kie’s cheeks were as wet as hers. It was just as agonizing to her to see their unit be torn apart. Pope was rattled, feeling powerless to stop them. They had had arguments and fist fights before about nonsense, but nothing this serious. He hadn’t even been able to get in the middle without being injured himself. It was all too much to take in. They were all perfectly fine before she arrived, and now they were more shattered than ever.

JJ observed her features the whole time, was privy to the way she detached herself emotionally to save the rest of them. But he didn’t want her to. He was selfish and greedy, willing to beg John B for forgiveness the rest of his life if it meant that (Y/N) didn’t run away. “(Y/N), hey,” his voice was still rough, but there was an edge of distress. She couldn’t take sole blame for the eruption their behavior had caused. But nothing he could say would really change her mind. There was a distant look in her eye when she focused on him.

He couldn’t even get another word out before she was turning her back to him walking away from them, from her life. Her shoulders were shaking, the reality of her consequences settling in. Her hand moved to cover her silent choked sob, free arm wrapping around herself to grace herself with some comfort. JJ wouldn’t give up on her without putting forth effort though. A beating he could take. Letting her slip through his fingers was something he couldn’t afford. Not when he finally had her.

Had her smiling and laughing at his stupid jokes. He could still hear her sweet giggling in his ear. See the heart-melting smile taking over her alluring features. Had seen her sleeping serenely in the coziness of her insanely overpriced California king, lips parted with a little bit of drool sneaking out. He’d had the privilege of bathing with her, exploring every luxurious inch of skin while quelling the ache in her bones. She had washed his damn hair. The feeling of her careful fingers on him in such an innocent yet intimate moment still drove him mad. The scent of her fruity cshampoo resided, mixing in with the dirt covering his backside as an encouragement to follow her.

“(Y/N), stop,” JJ managed to get out as he stood up at the same time holding his side with one hand where it seemed to hurt the most. The girl didn’t listen to him though, she kept walking with more intent to distance herself. The others were looking on but nothing else was said. John B turned around, refusing to watch any longer as he went back into his home to bitterly find the First Aid Kit. Kie wanted to step toward JJ to check on him but he rushed off, walking as fast he could to reach (Y/N). Pope placed a hand on Kie’s shoulder sighing before nudging her inside. Nothing would be resolved within two days.

(Y/N) ignores his voice calling out to her, shutting out every emotion related to JJ possible. She could return to her ice queen status, embody it once more to bury the agony and enter a state of desolation. But he was persistent, walking after her even as she got further and further away from the house. “(Y/N),” JJ’s voice was calm from behind her but she shook her head trying to will away the oncoming rampage of tears. They had started from the moment the boys started throwing fists and now they had a life of their own. “Hey- I.. I can take you home, you don’t have to walk or get a ride,” JJ tried to pull her back to him by any means but she stopped dead in her tracks. He hadn’t even realizing he was gaining on her until almost running into her when she came to a halt.

“No JJ. Don’t you get it?” she asked without hesitancy as she shifted to face him. JJ saw nothing in her eyes, no glint or glimmer, no hope for their possible future. “We can’t see each other anymore. We hurt people when we’re together JJ,” (Y/N) was stoic, refusing to instill JJ with any false hope. There was no world where they could be an item. Where they could cuddle in front of their friends. Go on double dates. Marry with a best man if it came down to that. As much as she wanted to let go of everything and melt into his stupidly perfect lips, she remained passive. Refusing to acknowledge the love she so obviously felt for him and choosing to endure the pain that would no doubt find a permanent home within her. (Y/N) locked it all away, tucking it deep into a place where it couldn’t reach her.

JJ’s Adam’s apple bobbed while his nose scrunched up, shaking his head in refusal. He looked off into the distance before meeting her stare. His throat felt dry, constricting from the fear accumulating the more she pulled away. “It’s not just sex to me (Y/N),” JJ repeated the words from last night, watching as something flashed through her eyes. “I meant that. And you meant what you said. About you wanting me,” JJ reminded taking a shaky step forward before saying fuck all and reaching his hands up to cradle (Y/N)’s cheeks in his hand. He gave her a torturously sad smile, fingers tracing the lines of her cheekbone. “You remember, last night in the bathtub too. I know you do,” he whispered, coming in closer to her, enveloping her senses.

He almost had her for a moment, (Y/N)’s brain cells mushing when he admitted that he did remember his late night confession. JJ’s pure vulnerability and the slightly forceful grip on her cheeks allowed her to rethink for a moment, consider the possibility that they could somehow fix this together. Her own admission had been a forthcoming revelation. More than JJ could’ve imagined when he brought it up. His blue eyes pierced through her, shaky hand gripping at his wrist. It was overwhelming, almost suffocating to be tempted in such a way. Her eyes closed. Knowing the way he was silently begging her every way possible would make her cave.

“It was sex… I was horny and you were too,” (Y/N) didn’t feel like she was in her body as the words came out. Her voice monotone and quiet. He was close enough for her to not have to yell it out. “This was nothing,” she continued even as she felt his hands drop from her face. It was daunting, so much so that she refused to see the destruction she was surely executing. Her heart was close to vanishing, entire body going numb. Not only was she losing a second person in the span of twenty four hours, but she was also losing her person. The one person she thinks might’ve been meant for her.

But JJ needed her to face it. He needed her to take in every single aspect of what this meant. (Y/N) wasn’t just taking a break from them, she was leaving. Closing the chapter on their summer together and ending something that had just barely gotten started. “Nothing? I think you’re a liar,” JJ’s temper was rising with her, loathing how she could let her overthinking take control of her life. “I think we’ve both known it since the moment we met. This is real and you’re just fucking scared,” his voice raised, finally showing his disdain for her choices.

(Y/N) dared to open her eyes which was something she’d regret till the end of time. JJ’s face had completely fallen. Her insides twisted, knotting and curling until she wanted to turn around and let out all the contents in her stomach. Which were actually none but eating right now sounded like a joke. The light in his blue irises that attracted (Y/N) to him in the first place had dimmed now. Disrupted by her hasty disregard. His lips were in a thin line, hands balled at his sides, chest rising and falling with every excruciating breath. It took everything inside of her to turn her heart to stone. Telling herself it was for the best.

“I’m sorry JJ,” she finalized the conversation.

Turning away from him and putting this singular moment behind herself.

Allowing herself to believe that they would be better off without her meddling.

The flood resumed down her cheeks now that he couldn’t see her disappearing into the following street. In the very back of (Y/N)’s mind, the little spot reserved for JJ, she still wished he’d chase her once more. Nudge her his way with his electrifying touch, kiss her until it felt like there was a volcano erupting inside of her. She’d say yes to the ride this time. She’d allow him to hold her in bed and soak his shirt with her tears. Even stay the night and every night after for as long as he needed to.

But none of that happened.

There were no footsteps besides her rapidly paced ones. (Y/N) wanted to say she was relieved, but it felt more like the entire universe had disintegrated. Her lungs felt like they were tied and knotted with rope, only able to take shallow breaths. A choice that took her all of two seconds before she was regretting had transformed everything.

If (Y/N) had thought any of this would be easy, the red baseball cap perched on top of her grey chair sent her into another meltdown, knees buckling to the ground with no one to catch her this time.

She’d lost them all.

*****

Read Part 1 here

Feedback/Thoughts welcomed in my inbox! x

If you’d like to be tagged in future posts of this mini-series please join my taglist here🫶🏼

A/N: I’ve literally never written blood play or subspace so I hope I did it justice😭 Don’t know what got into me but possessive JJ is just everything😩

I have another work in my drafts but it’s an anon request so part 3 will be coming later on❤️

Thank you so much for reading whether you came for the smut or plot😭😂! Please like, reblog, and comment if you enjoyed it!💕

John B’s Mini Series Tags: @fishingirl12 @sweetlikerockcandy @imtired0811

The day John B found out began as a regular morning at the Routledge household. JJ was sprawled across the couch, quietly doom scrolling on his phone. John B was running around the house trying to remember where he put his keys while you hummed quietly in the kitchen, making breakfast for yourself and JJ.

You glanced over at the blonde, catching him watching you with a soft look on his face. You grinned, quick to return your attention to buttering toast as John B stormed into the living area. JJ rolled back over, continuing his doom scroll.

John B, none the wiser.

"Okay, I'll see you guys after work," John B announces, stealing a piece of buttered toast.

"Hey!" You cry. "You said you weren't hungry!"

John B shrugs, toast dangling from his mouth. You roll your eyes at your twin and make a show of grabbing another piece of bread and throwing it into the toaster.

The door slams as John B rushes out and clambers down the porch steps. Both you and JJ stay still, anticipation hanging in the air as you both wait to hear the Twinkie sputter to life.

You were always cautious, always certain that John B was far, far away before the two of you even decided to speak to each other. John B had warned JJ a very long time ago that if he even thought about his sister romantically that he wouldn't hesitate to punch him into next year.

To put it simply, you were off limits.

So, when you and JJ both started developing feelings for each other, it only felt right to keep it from your brother for as long as possible. For the past three months, it had been going just fine.

"I think he's gone," JJ says as you bring over his breakfast for him. "Thank you, pretty girl."

"Welcome," you take a seat next to him, puckering your lips for a kiss.

JJ places his plate onto the coffee table in front of him and leans in. You were only expecting a quick peck, but JJ had other plans. He easily captures your lips in a kiss, sliding a hand to your jaw to deepen it.

You break away, grinning. "You miss me or something?"

JJ chuckled softly and pulls you back for more. His next words are mumbled against your lips. "Maybe. Maybe not."

He grabs the plate from your lap and blindly places it onto the coffee table, not once breaking the kiss. With your now free hands, you slid them over his biceps.

As the kiss grows more heated and desperate, JJ slowly pushes you down onto the couch, hovering over you. You put your hands over his waist, pulling his body onto yours. Soft noises escape you both as you indulge in each other.

JJ grabs the hem of your shirt, slowly pushing it up your torso. His finger traces the bottom of your bra, hooking it under a cup before moving his hands back down to your waist, teasing you.

"What the actual fuck."

At the sound of your brother's voice, you shove JJ off you. He tumbles to the ground.

"John B-" You start.

"My sister, JJ?" John B scowls.

"It's not what it looks like, man," JJ defends, picking himself up from the floor.

"Oh, so you two weren't just making out? That was something else?"

"That's not what I mean."

You were more than a hookup to JJ. Much, much more.

"What did I tell you?" John B finally shouts, moving to shove JJ back a few steps. "What did I tell you, JJ?"

"I know, I know but hear me out, okay?" JJ pleads.

"No, JJ. I don't want to hear you out. I'm going to punch the shit out of you."

John B raises his fist but you're already beside him, pulling him back by his arm. "John B, cool it!"

John B finally looks at you with a mix of fury and disappointment. "How long?"

You glance over at JJ, unsure of your next move.

"Don't look at him. Tell me how long. I want to hear it from you."

Your voice comes out small. "Three months."

His eyes pop with a new wave of anger. "You kept this from me for three months?"

"Hey man, get angry at me. Not her," says JJ.

"JJ, I think you should go."

"John B," you say tearfully.

You get that he was pissed but sending JJ back to his dad's over this seemed a little extreme.

Your brother doesn't look back at you as he continues. "Leave, JJ."

"John B, you're being unreasonable," you say. "You can't just kick him out."

"I'm not kicking him out I just need to process this," John B clarifies. "I just need a bit of space. From both of you."

JJ glances at you, the tightness of his jaw softens at the hurt on your face. "I'll be back later, Y/N. Okay? Don't worry about me."

You watch tearfully as he grabs his phone and keys from the kitchen bench. There's a moment where you're both unsure of what was okay to say to each other. JJ stares at you, then at John B. Back to you.

"I love you," says JJ.

"I love you, too."

With that, JJ is out the door.

You watch him leave down the porch steps.

"John B, please," it comes out as a whisper. "He's your best friend."

"Exactly. I know him. I know how he treats girls. I don't want him treating you like that."

"You're being ridiculous," you say, now angry. "I'm my own person and you're not dad. You don't get to decide who can and can't date me."

John B stares at you before he pushes past you and heads back out to the Twinkie.

A soft sob escapes you as he pulls out onto the road.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°. ݁₊ 𓆉 . ݁𓇼˖ . ݁⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°. ݁₊ 𓆉 . ݁𓇼˖ . ݁

It had been three days since JJ left and he hadn't come back since. He'd occasionally messaged you, waking you up with a good morning text and sending you to sleep with a goodnight one but he was keeping you at arms length.

John B had barely been home either, spending most of his time at Sarah's or picking up extra work around town. Growing up, John B and you often fought but no fight was ever left unsolved for more than a day, let alone three.

You wanted something, anything from them. Hell, you'd take another screaming match before another minute of this radio silence. JJ and John B were meant to be a two-for-one deal. It hadn't been one without the other for a long time.

"We are getting you out of the house tonight, girl" Kiara says as she lets herself into the Chateau with a six pack of beer. "No more being mopey."

Kiara had been the one person to actually stick around, listening to everything after you told her about you and JJ.

"What if one of them comes back?" you protest, groaning as Kie took your ankle and tried to drag you off the couch.

"I guarantee you that they'll be at the Boneyard tonight. John B has been hanging for a drink," Kiara reasons.

"You've talked to him." Kiara nods. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine. A little distant but fine." Kiara throws you a can. "Drinks on me tonight, okay?"

That was enough to convince you.

So the two of your finish the six pack together and get ready for the party. You change out of the pyjamas you've been exclusively wearing and into something cute.

When you arrive to the Boneyard, you try hard to not go instantly searching for your brother or JJ. Instead, you stick by Kiara to talk to a few friends from school.

The conversation happens around you while you search the growing crowd of people for any sight of the boys. It seems as though they were the only two people on the Island not currently present.

Defeated, you try to force yourself to engage with Kie and your friends. Laughing when somebody made a joke, chiming in when a topic concerned you. Trying to ignore the hole forming in your stomach.

Then you saw him. JJ. As though appearing out of nowhere. He was holding a red solo cup under the keg, pouring himself a beer and talking with a few others.

You watched him for a few minutes. He seemed fine. Happy. Completely okay without you. As you debated on walking up to him, a girl beat you to it.

A pretty girl.

JJ greets her warmly, quick to grab a fresh cup and pour her a cup of beer. They laugh together. She stands too close and you realise the reason why JJ had maybe pulled away from you.

You weren't worth it.

Maybe your brother had been right.

You weren't worth the heat from John B. You weren't worth giving up his previous lifestyle for. You weren't enough to keep JJ entertained. You weren't enough.

Tears burned your eyes as you abruptly stood up. "I'm sorry, excuse me."

Kiara called after you but her cries fell on deaf ears.

You kept walking. You walked and walked until you found the front porch steps of the Chateau.

You planted yourself on the bottom step and let yourself cry, the emotional build up of the past few days finally getting its release.

"Baby," a voice called softly from in front of you. JJ.

You don't look up, unable to face him in your state.

"Baby, what's wrong?" JJ asks, kneeling down in front of you. He takes your wrists gently, prying them away from your tear-stained face. His eyes, lit with concern, meet yours, "Kie told me you ran off crying."

You struggle to find your words at first because to be honest, you weren't really sure where to start. You were upset about a lot of things. You were upset with him.

So you swallow hard and find the courage to tell him the truth.

"It's been a really hard few days and I needed you. You barely texted, you didn't call, you didn't ask how I was. Then I show up at this party and see you talking with some other girl like you've already forgotten about me."

JJ takes this in. He nods, gaze never straying from yours.

You lower your voice into a breathy whisper, "Do you not want me anymore?"

JJ's eyebrows furrow and he grabs your face with both hands, "Oh my god. Of course I want you, Y/N. You are the best goddamn thing that has ever happened to me. I mean that. I'm sorry, I've been a dick. To be honest, I thought that maybe I had screwed everything up and I was scared to face it all. I was terrified that I'd lost you and John B. I didn't really know how to handle this."

Fresh tears spring to your eyes but they're not tears of hurt but relief.

"I thought I lost you, Jay," you cry.

"God, no," JJ says, voice thick with emotion. "Y/N, I love you so much. I'm pretty sure I haven't ever loved anyone the way I love you. I'm never leaving you. Not for some random girl, not because your brother doesn't think I'm good enough, not for anything. You're my girl."

JJ then closes the distance between you, his lips press against your gently at first. The kiss is slow, apologetic and passionate. You tilt your head, allowing it to deepen. It becomes desperate, so all encompassing that neither of you hear the creak of the floorboards inside.

JJ pulls away, "From now on, we're going to get through this together, okay?"

"Okay." You agree.

"Do you want some water? Tissues?"

You nod and JJ springs up the steps, opening the front door, "Be right back..."

Standing in the middle of the kitchen is John B.

JJ says his name quietly, it hangs in the air between them.

"Not gonna lie, I still really want to hit you," says John B.

"Fair."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Listen, I'm sorry about how I acted before but I was pissed. Really fucking pissed," he pauses, looks at you. "Mostly, I was so angry because I was scared. The last thing I want to do is lose my best friend because, yeah, I will pick my sister every time."

JJ nods, "Yeah, I get it. We should have told you sooner."

"To be honest, I don't really blame either of you. I mean, look at how I reacted." They both laugh half-heartedly before falling into an uncertain silence. Where to go from here? "I still don't like that you kept it a secret from me. That was a shitty thing to do. All I ask is that you take care of her, Jay."

"Of course," JJ agrees instantly. "I would never hurt her."

"You're a good person, Jay. Don't fuck it up."

The weather in the Outer Banks may have seemed rough and questionable to most Mainlanders, but to Y/N and John B, this was prime surfing weather. The swells were perfect, so the two of them waxed their boards and loaded them into the Twinkie before heading to get Pope and Kie. JJ had given them some excuse as to why he couldn’t join, which meant a lot considering how much of a die-hard surfer JJ was. 

The four of them arrived at the beach and carried their boards to the shore, standing and taking it in for a moment before paddling out. All of them caught some good waves here and there, but the storm-weather was picking up and they were all waiting for the inevitable big swell to come. 

And it did. It was perfect. Y/N immediately perked up when she spotted it, paddling closer before any of the others could. She stood up with masterful technique, standing on her board despite the rocky conditions of the water. She rode the wave for what felt like forever, salt water spraying her face. 

But something went wrong. Maybe she missed a spot on her board when waxing because she seemed to slip off, her board flipping and hitting her head before she splashed into the water. From the shore, all the remaining Pogues remember seeing is the pink board fly above the water before they all frantically paddled out to Y/N. 

“Y/N!” 

“Come on, Y/N/N! Where are you?” 

A chorus of panicked shouts rang out through the thunder and rain. 

“She’s not coming up, guys.” Kie’s voice was breaking. Without words, John B dove off of his board, swimming down to find her while Pope grabbed her board. John B finally returned to the surface with Y/N trailing behind him. He laid her on her board, lightly hitting her face to bring her back to the living. And it worked. Y/N coughed up water, turning to the side to spit it out. All of the Pogues breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Holy shit, Y/N/N.” John B sighed, flopping over her. The others joined on top, giving her the most awkward hug of her life. 

“Guys…can’t…breathe.” Y/N joked slightly, the others quickly getting off for fear of further injuring her. 

“How do you feel?” Pope asked. 

Y/N squinted, even the dark storm clouds hurting her vision. “Ow.” All of them chuckled and made the collective decision to paddle back to shore. About halfway there, Y/N mumbled something incoherent.

“What was that?” Kie asked. 

“JJ…where is he?” 

“He said he was helping out at the country club today. Deliveries.” John B relayed what JJ had told them. 

“Want…”

“What do you want?” 

“JJ…” The other Pogues questioned her insistence on seeing JJ a little bit, but it wasn’t totally out of the question, they were really close. 

When they reached the shore, John B hopped off of his board as Kie and Pope grabbed them all and loaded up the Twinkie. He picked Y/N up as Pope came back for her board and Kie prepared a semi-comfortable set up in the back. Before John B left the beach, he sent a quick text to JJ. 

y/n got hurt at the beach. she’s asking for you. 

we’re at the chateau. 

JJ felt his phone buzz in his pocket, calling out to the closest co-worker that he was stepping out for a minute. At the sight of John B’s message, the boy panicked. His fingers fumbled towards the call button, urging someone to pick up. 

“What the hell happened?” He questioned when the line connected. Pope’s voice rang out on the other end. 

“She slipped off her board, it wacked her, and she was under for a little while before John B got her out. There's a pretty gnarly cut on her forehead but she doesn’t need stitches.” JJ gave Pope a quick ‘I’m on my way’, hung up, and went to find his boss (for the day). 

“Hey, man, um. My girlfriend just got into a surfing accident and I need to-”

“Oh god, go! You’re good here!” 

“Thanks!” 

JJ made it to the Chateau in record time, most definitely breaking a few laws on the way. He stormed through the front porch door. 

“Where is she?”

“We’re back here!” Kie’s voice rang out from the spare room and JJ did not hesitate to follow it. Y/N was laying on the bed, Kie next to her with an ice pack in her hand. Pope and John B were seated on the floor by the foot of the bed. 

“Oh my god, Y/N/N.” JJ knelt beside her, stroking her hair out of her face and holding her hand. Y/N’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice. 

“JJ..you came.” She smiled. 

“Of course I did. Did you think I wouldn’t?” The way they looked at each other made it feel like there was no one else in the room. And Kie picked up on it. She shared a suspicious look to the other two, a small smirk playing on all of their faces. 

“Nahhh..” All of them chuckled, she was clearly out of it from the accident. JJ brought her hand to his lips, placing a kiss on the back. 

“So, um, JJ,” Kie started. “Since when has this been going on?” She looked at him with a teasing smile. 

“Shit,” he sighed. This is not how they planned to tell everyone. “Like, two, three weeks? Not long at all and I swear we were going to tell you guys it just…”

“Just what?”

“We were scared, I guess? You know, no pogue-on-pogue macking. And I tried to ignore it, believe me I did. But I just couldn’t. And it just happened.” 

“Dude, it’s okay. You guys were practically married already.” John B joked. The other three Pogues decided to leave, letting Y/N rest and letting a blanket of silence fall over the room. 

“You told them.” Y/N stated, the most coherent thing she’d said in a long time. 

“There she is,” JJ smiled. “Yeah, I did. Kie figured it out first, though.” 

“I knew she would.” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry I just…did it, though. We wanted to do that together.” 

“J, it’s okay. I mean theres extenumating circumstances.” 

“Extenuating. And, you’re right. At least now we don’t have to hide.” 

“You can kiss me whenever.” Y/N smiled. 

“I can kiss you whenever, that’s right.” JJ planted a soft kiss to the uninjured side of her head. “How are you feeling?” 

It starts soft.

Then a little slower.

Then a little deeper.

Your hand slides into his hair while his fingers drift lazily along your side under your shirt, thumb brushing your ribs. After a moment he pulls back just enough to look at you, that crooked grin already forming.

“What?” you ask, dazed and a little suspicious.

He snorts quietly. “Just thinkin’ about yesterday morning.”

Your eyes narrow. “The syrup incident?”

He nods, trying—and failing—not to smile.

“Yeah. That.”

You groan and cover your face with your hands, still embarassed about the fact that the Pogues heard you (mostly jokingly?) tell him to bring the syrup to the bedroom. And the fact that that's literally how they found out the two of you were finally together.

“JJ…”

“What?” he laughs. “You were the one making all those threats.”

You scoff quietly, trying not to laugh. “Theats?!”

“Mmhmm. About weaponizing breakfast condiments.”

“Weaponizing?! You said you liked the idea. I don't even wanna hear it.”

He kisses you again, quick and teasing. Then suddenly he sits up. “I’ll be right back.”

You blink. “What? Where are you going?”

But he’s already hopping off the bed and disappearing out the door.

You stare at the doorway, confused for a second. Then it hits you. “Oh my god.”

A minute later JJ strolls back in, looking extremely pleased with himself but empty handed.

You raise an eyebrow.

He just stands there smiling mischievously. Then he lifts his shirt and pulls the syrup bottle out of the waistband of his pants.

Your jaw drops. Then you burst into laughter.

JJ loses it too, laughing so hard he almost drops the bottle before flopping back onto the bed beside you.

“Thought I’d make your dreams come true” he says, handing it to you. “Excited to see what you were planning on doing with it.”

You’re still giggling as you take it. “You're ridiculous.”

“Your idea.”

You shake your head before nodding at his shorts. “Take your pants off. Shirt too, so it doesn't get all sticky.”

His eyes widen for a second at your bossyness then corner of his lips curl up. “Yes ma’am.”

JJ immediately scoots back on the bed and starts tugging off his clothes with exaggerated obedience.

You giggle while you undress yourself completely then chew on your lip, admiring him for a second.

He does the same with you, wondering how he got so lucky. Then he settles back against the pillows, stroking himself a little and watching you with open fascination like you’re about to perform some magic trick.

Your eyes drag down his body as you sit on your knees, deciding what to do to with him first. Then you pop the cap open.

“God,” he mutters quietly, already grinning.

You tilt the bottle just enough to let a small line of syrup drizzle over your fingers.

You lean over him, trailing a couple sticky fingertips lightly across his neck and jawline then lean forward. You move slower on purpose, licking and sucking the sweetness from his skin before following the same path up along his jaw. He shivers beneath you, a quiet groan slipping out before he can stop it.

“Love this already,” he smiles.

“Good,” you whisper, smiling, running your tongue up his jaw one last time.

JJ grabs your wrist gently before you can pull away.

You tilt your head.

He brings your hand toward his mouth instead and his eyes stay on yours as he slowly licks what's left syrup from your fingers, sucking them gently into his mouth as your smile down at him.

You gasp a little, then start laughing again.

“Okay, that's really hot,” you admit.

“Yeah?” he smirks.

You nod and lean down to kiss him again —slow, sweet at first, then messier when you both start laughing halfway through.

Then you tilt the bottle carefully and let a thin line of syrup trail down the center of his body.

JJ’s eyes widen a little as the goldenbrown line slowly runs downward over his stomach, then stops right before his dick, which is practically throbbing at this point.

“Jesus Christ,” he laughs under his breath.

You follow the path with your hand first, spreading it lightly along his skin, especially his abs.

JJ lifts his head slightly to watch you, completely captivated.

You lean down, slowly following the path you made with your tongue, taking your time, licking up every drop. JJ exhales sharply and drops his head back against the pillow again, one hand sliding into your hair to keep it out of your face.

“Holy shit,” he breathes.

You pause just long enough to glance up at him. He’s already looking down at you with that crooked, completely obsessed smile.

Once you've gotten to his abdomen and licked him clean, you finally wrap your syrup covered hand around him.

He immediately groans, his head dropping back against the pillow.

You try to move your hand, but the second you do, it makes that unmistakable sticky sound.

You both freeze. Then you both burst out laughing again.

“Oh my god,” you giggle. “That’s not gonna work.”

JJ drags a hand down his face, still laughing. “Yeah, you basically caramelized me.”

You try again and immediately start laughing harder.

He shakes his head at you, smiling. “Spit on it.”

“Ok,” you smile, and do exactly that. Your spit mixes with the syrup, letting your hand move a little easier this time as you stroke him.

JJ exhales sharply. “Yeah… there we go.”

You tilt the bottle and pour another slow line over his dick now as you continue to touch him. The syrup glistens as it drips down his shaft to his balls, and a little onto the blanket.

You stare at it for a second, bottom lip between your teeth. “We’re gonna have to wash the sheets.”

JJ snorts. “Yeah?” He glances down at the mess. “You think?”

You giggle again, setting the bottle down before beginning to press soft kisses and kitten licks to his tip and then slowly swirling your tongue.

JJ lets out a low, disbelieving laugh that turns into a groan as his hands slide into your hair almost immediately, gently gathering it away from your face while he watches you.

The moment you start trailing your tongue along the sticky path you made earlier, his fingers tighten slightly.

“God… baby…”

You hum softly, amused by how quickly he reacts.

“The prettiest girl in the world,” he says, brushing a strand back from your face, “and she’s over here torturing me with pancake syrup.”

You laugh again, lips brushing against him. “Poor you.”

“Yeah,” he says, clearly not meaning it at all, breath hitching as you lick up his shaft again. “Worst day of my life.”

You smile and lean down to tongue at his balls now, sucking them into your mouth one by one and releasing them with a pop.

“Oh my fucking god, princess, that feels so fucking good,” he breaths, brows furrowing, voice rough with a laugh still hiding in it.

You slide your tongue up the base of his cock. Then the sides, from every angle, licking him completely clean.

He quickly grabs the bottle with his free hand hand and pours a little more over himself. He smiles as it drips down onto your tongue and you begin to lick him even more hungrily.

Finally you lower your lips back over his tip, bobbing your head as you slowly take him into your mouth, letting every inch stretch out. You smile at the way he's whimpering pitifully now, practically shaking underneath you.

“Yeah, just like that, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Doin' so good suckin' that dick baby. So perfect.”

You glance up at him briefly, unable to keep from smiling harder at his praises. His head is tipped back again, eyes half-closed, clearly enjoying every second of it. You take him into your mouth as deep as you can manage, gagging on him a little as he hits the back of your throat.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he whispers, beginning to thrust up gently against your face, making you choke again. “That ok, pretty girl?”

You nod as you let him set the pace now.

“Tap me if you need me to stop.”

You shake your head a little to say you're not gonna stop him no matter what as you smile around him.

“Oh, ok,” he smirks down at you. He ruts his hips up harder now and you moan happily at each movement even as you occasionally gag, absolutely loving the way he's using your mouth to get himself off.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, voice low and rough with awe. “Such a good fucking girl. So perfect for me.”

The corners of your lips curl a little and you glance up at him again through your wet lashes. The sight clearly does him in as his chest begins to rise sharply.

“Yeah—yeah, just like that, baby,” he mutters, the words coming out uneven now. “I’m not gonna last if you keep lookin' at me like that. Too fuckin' pretty.”

You don't stop. You keep looking up at him and begin to move your tongue underneath the base of his dick while he continues to fuck your face.

“God…” Another quiet sound slips out of him, something halfway between a laugh and a groan and his movements stutter. “Gonna come, keep doing that thing with your tongue. Don't stop. Goddamn.”

He shoves your face back down on him one last time before you feel him spill straight down your throat, hips spasming up against you as he lets out a string of shuddered breaths.

You gag at first at the force but swallow every single drop happily and continue to move your tongue teasingly just because you know how sensitive he is.

“Baby… okay—okay—” he laughs, pulling your head gently off of him. “Shit, princess.”

You look up at him and giggle, still breathing hard as you wipe the drool off you chin.

He looks back down at you, blond hair a mess against the pillow, and the look on his face is pure disbelief mixed with affection. “C’mere.”

You crawl back up the bed toward him, syrup-sticky and laughing a little under your breath.

The second you’re close enough he pulls your lips to his, kissing you deeply despite what he just did to you and humming at the taste of syrup on that tongue that he loves so much. When he pulls back, he lets out a breathless laugh, forehead resting against yours. “Holy shit,” he says quietly. “I loved that.”

“Yeah?” you smile even though it's obvious that he did.

“Yeah. I love you.”

You kiss him again, smiling softly. “I love you too.”

Then he pulls away, that mischievous grin creeps back onto his face. “You know I'm not done with you right?” He reaches out and grabs the bottle again.

You eyes widen. “Oh?”

“Nope, sure not.” He flips the cap open and pours a small pool of syrup into his palm before setting the bottle aside. “Your turn.”

Before you can say anything he quickly reaches between your legs and presses his sticky hand straight up against you.

The sudden cool sweetness followed by the warmth of his palm makes you gasp and grab his shoulders.

“JJ!”

He rubs it in, fingers sliding between your folds, making sure every inch of you is covered.

You instinctively rub yourself against his palm as your mouth drops open, tiny gasps escaping you at the feeling. You cover your mouth to suppress a yelp as his syrup-y fingers push up inside you.

He smiles proudly before using his non-sticky hand to brush away hair that's stuck to your lips.

“Want you to sit on my face,” he murmers, voice low and rough.

Your eyebrows raise and a small smile crosses your mouth at the idea of doing something else new with him. “Yeah?”

He nods, pulling his fingers out and squeezing your hip. “Yeah, get your ass up here.”

“Ok.” You giggle before crawling up and settling your knees on either side of his head, your pussy just inches away from his mouth.

JJ looks ridiculously happy about the situation.

“Hi,” he says casually, squeezing your hips.

You snort, looking down at him. “Hi.”

Then he sticks his tongue out under you in an exaggerated way, urgering you to come closer, making you laugh again.

“C’mon,” he murmurs, hands sliding up your thighs to steady you. “Get over here.”

You finally lower yourself onto his flattened tongue and the second you do, he groans loudly against your syrup covered clit, the vibration sending a jolt through your whole body.

“Oh my god—” you gasp, grabbing the headboard.

JJ chuckles into you, clearly enjoying your reaction already. His hands settle firmly on your hips, guiding you gently as you begin to move.

You whimper softly as you feel his tongue beginning to explore every part of you it can reach.

“Yeah,” he murmurs against you, hands reaching back to squeeze your ass. “That’s what I thought.”

Your head falls back slightly as he reaches down to the backs of your thighs, spreading you open a little more for him so he can probe his tongue into you. You feel his grin every time you make a new noise.

“Sh—shit, feels so good JJ,” you breathe.

“Mhmm,” he agrees happily. He pulls back a little “Tastes so good. Could drown in this pussy, baby.” Then he dives back in.

His hands slide up your body to squeeze your breasts as your ride him, then pinch at your nipples.

“Fuckk,” you smile.

He hums into to you then nips at your clit just to make your hips jerk a little.

You reach over and grab the almost empty bottle. “Wants some more, Jay?”

He opens his eyes to see what you're talking about and nods immediately.

You twist the cap open and hold it up where he can see it. “Open up.”

He opens his mouth obediently.

You tilt the bottle slowly, letting a thin stream of syrup drizzle down over yourself. JJ lets out a low laugh as it runs down your clit toward his mouth. You can feel his shoulders shaking with laughter beneath you and it makes you begin to giggle yourself but that quickly becomes uncontrollable moans as he dives back in even more intensely, nose rubbing against you now.

He pulls back for just a second. “Hey, shhhh, they're all downstairs, princess.”

You cover your mouth. “Shit.”

Suddenly your thighs begin to shake as the pleasure builds up inside of you. And of course JJ notices. He pulls you even harder against him, fingers squeezing into your thighs as he forces you to ride him faster. His tongue moves even more ferociously, desperate to make you come as hard as you'd made him earlier.

“J—JJ, I'm gonna—Ah!” You throw your head back and tangle a hand into his hair as you move your hips faster. “Oh my fucking god.”

“I gotcha, girl,” he smiles, voice muffled under the weight of you.

He continues to lick you through it, the sweet taste of syrup mixed with your juices making him groan happily against you.

You shakily thrust your hips a few more times before leaning foreward on the headboard, breathing heavily.

You’re still catching your breath when he gently helps you shift off of him. The second you flop down beside him on the bed, the two of you just stare at each other for a second. At the hair stuck to both of your sticky cheeks and the light golden ring around parts of his mouth and the tip of his nose.

Then you both start laughing. Hard.

You wipe your face, shaking your head.

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That… might’ve been the best idea you’ve ever had.”

You glance down at the sheets, then at the sticky syrup bottle tipped on its side nearby. Then back at him. “We absolutely destroyed the bed.”

He follows your gaze and laughs again. “Oh yeah. This is a disaster.”

You lift one arm and stare at it. It's sticky. Your nose wrinkles.

“JJ.”

“Yeah?”

“We need another shower.”

“And a new blanket.”

The next morning you wake up to a knock on the bedroom door and both of you groan.

“JJ!” a voice calls from hallway.

JJ squints one eye open. “…no,” he mumbles into the pillow.

Another knock.

“JJ, where the hell is the syrup?!”

You bury your face in the crook of his shoulder, already starting to laugh quietly.

JJ groans again and rubs a hand over his face before calling out hoarsely, “It’s empty!”

There’s a pause on the other side of the door. “No fucking way...” Another pause. “You guys are unbelievable. We were gonna make pancakes!”

JJ suddenly glances toward the nightstand where the bottle is sitting and squints at it.

“…Actually,” he calls out after a second, “there might be like an inch left if you want it!”

There’s another pause.

“I absolutely do not want that! You guys suck.”

“You're right about that!” JJ fires back proudly.

You lose it, laughing into the pillow as JJ grins sleepily, cuddling closer to you.

A moment later you both hear a loud groan and John B’s footsteps heading back down the hallway.

“We’re such little freaks,” you mumble.

JJ snorts. “Yeah.” He turns his head toward you, messy hair falling into his eyes, still smiling like he’s thinking about last night. Then he stretches a little, then nudges your leg with his, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“If you’ve got any more ideas like that… feel free to let me know. That was really fun.”

“Will do,” you nod, giggling softly. “Now let's go back to sleep. We stayed up way too late last night.”

“Yeah, I think we had a little way too much sugar before bed.” He glances at the sticky bedsheets balled up in the corner of the room. “Or in bed.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩𖦹⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

LIVING WITH JJ MAYBANK IS AN EXERCISE IN RESTRAINT.

It shouldn’t be like this. He’s your best friend. Your partner in crime. The only person who can make you laugh even when you're seething with frustration, who knows the exact rhythm of your moods like a song he’s memorized.

But there’s a problem. A serious, maddening, pulse-spiking problem.

JJ never wears a shirt.

At first, you blamed it on the summer heat. The first time he stumbled out of his room, half-asleep, golden in the morning light with sleep-ruffled hair and sweatpants slung dangerously low on his hips, you barely spared a thought.

Once. That’s all it was.

But then it kept happening.

JJ, stretched across the couch like it’s his personal throne, one arm tossed lazily over the backrest, his phone in one hand and that trademark smirk tugging at his lips. JJ, fresh from the shower, towel hanging precariously off one hip, droplets of water catching the light as they trailed down the carved muscles of his chest. JJ, in the kitchen at sunrise, humming off-key while flipping pancakes, looking like the most sinful version of domestic bliss you’ve ever seen.

It’s cruel. He’s cruel.

Strutting around like temptation personified, like he doesn’t know what he’s doing to you.

But deep down, you know better.

Because JJ never fails to be wherever you are. If you’re in the kitchen, nose buried in your seminar notes, he suddenly appears — digging through the fridge, drinking straight from the milk carton, standing there all golden skin and bare torso, with that lazy grin and eyes that flicker toward you like he’s watching, measuring. If you’re curled on the couch, trying to drown your thoughts in some forgettable show, he’s suddenly pressed up beside you, slinging an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into the heat of him — solid, bare, intoxicating.

It makes you think about things you shouldn't. About the way his voice would sound against your neck. About the way his fingers would feel trailing up the inside of your thigh. About the kind of noises he’d pull from your throat if you just gave in — just once.

It keeps you up at night, staring at the ceiling in the dark, breath shallow, thighs pressed tight together, mind spiraling.

So you run. You bury yourself in your studies, spend long hours in the library under the guise of academia, while Kiara, Sarah, and Cleo tease you relentlessly about your new obsession with “higher learning.” When you’re home, you hide — lock yourself away in your room like it’s a sanctuary, a shield against temptation.

But JJ notices. Of course he does.

Because now, he’s in your doorway more often than not. Leaning against the frame like a goddamn oil painting, abs flexing with every stretch, golden hour light wrapping around him like it’s in love. He doesn’t need a reason to be there. Sometimes he just wanders in, drops himself onto your bed like he belongs there — like he belongs to you — and watches you. Calm. Unbothered. Smirking like he’s in on the joke you haven’t caught up to yet.

It’s like he’s waiting for something.

Waiting for you to break.

And God, you're so close.

BUT ONE EVENING, EVERYTHING CHANGES.

It’s one of those days — the kind that grates down to the bone, fraying nerves until even the air feels hostile on your skin.

You overslept for your ancient literature exam. Rushed across campus half-dressed, only to be turned away — your professor stern and unmoving. Your laptop crashed mid-submission, eating hours of carefully chosen words. And the barista at your usual spot? Got your order all wrong. Too much syrup, too sweet, sticking to your tongue like everything else today.

By the time you unlock the front door, you’re done.

Done with the day. Done with the world. Done with JJ fucking Maybank and his entire unbearable existence.

You shed your coat in the hallway, kick off your sneakers without caring where they land, and stalk toward the kitchen in search of comfort — salt, sugar, anything to soften the edge carved into your mood.

And of course — of course — he’s there.

Leaning against the counter like he was sculpted for it, bathed in the golden warmth of the kitchen light. He’s shirtless — because why wouldn’t he be — skin bronzed and smooth, the sharp cut of his abs flexing as he cracks open a beer with one hand. His lips curve into that signature smirk, the one that always manages to feel both lazy and dangerous. He tilts his head back for a sip, throat working slow and deliberate, like every movement was made to be watched.

It’s obscene. It’s infuriating. It’s — God — it’s unfair.

You slam the fridge shut harder than necessary, crossing your arms tight across your chest like it’ll protect you from whatever this is.

“For God’s sake, JJ,” you snap. “Put on a damn shirt.”

He doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t blink. Just glances at you sideways, one brow arched, amusement dancing in those sea-glass blue eyes.

“Why’s that?” he drawls, voice syrupy and smooth, laced with mock innocence. “That bother you?”

Your jaw clenches. “It’s just–”

The words dissolve under the heat of his gaze. And then, without thinking, without filtering–

“It’s distracting.”

JJ shifts. His entire demeanor changes — like a predator catching the scent of something new. He straightens slowly, that ever-present smirk deepening into something darker, sharper. More interested.

“Distracting how?” His voice lowers, slides across your skin like warm honey. “Can’t stop looking?”

He runs a hand through his blond hair — slow, purposeful, like he knows what he’s doing. His abs flex with the stretch, and you hate the way your stomach tightens in response. Hate it. Crave it.

“I didn’t know my abs were such a problem, princess,” he murmurs, tilting his head. “Unless... they’re not the problem. You just like looking.”

Your breath hitches.

And that’s it.

That’s all he needs.

His grin shifts — cocky giving way to hungry — as he steps away from the counter, sauntering toward you with the kind of deliberate slowness that makes the air grow thick and hot between you. Every step coils something tighter inside your chest, your stomach.

He stops just in front of you — too close — his bare skin radiating heat, the faint scent of salt and soap and pine enveloping you like a second skin. The kind of scent that would cling to your sheets. To your skin.

Your thoughts go quiet. Your whole body just... buzzes.

He leans in — barely. Just enough that you feel the warmth of his breath, the tension hanging on the knife’s edge between you.

“Say the word,” JJ murmurs, eyes locked on yours. They’re darker now, stormy with something unreadable — desire, challenge, restraint. “Say the word, and I’ll put a shirt on.”

You don’t say anything.

Because the truth?

You don’t want him to.

You never have.

“You could just admit you like me and save us both some time.”

JJ’s voice is quieter now, stripped of the usual teasing lilt. There's still self-satisfaction tucked into the edges — but underneath it, something else coils. Tighter. Waiting.

You scoff, reaching for something to ground yourself. Anything.

“Oh, please, I…”

The words stumble, falter, because he steps closer — and the warmth of his skin hits you before he even touches you.

JJ tilts his head, smirk deepening. “Yeah?” His voice dips, thick with amusement. “Did you say something?”

You exhale sharply, forcing your gaze away from his chest. But it’s no use. Frustration sparks, flaring hot in your gut, tangled with something you don’t have the guts to name. You meet his eyes with a scowl, jaw clenched, lips tight in irritation.

He sees it.

And he relishes it.

His tongue pushes against the inside of his cheek, fighting a grin. His eyes flick to your mouth — slow, deliberate — then back to yours, darker now.

“Oh, you’re annoying me.”

JJ laughs, low and rough, raking a hand through his hair as he watches you—really watches you. Not just looking, but studying, like he’s learning every inch of you by heart.

“Liar,” he murmurs.

Something twists low in your stomach.

“Excuse me?”

He leans in — not enough to touch, but enough that your breath shortens, your skin prickling from the heat between you. And then, almost casually, his fingers graze your wrist.

Not accidental.

“You could’ve asked me to wear a shirt weeks ago,” he says, voice velvet-soft, touch featherlight. “But you didn’t.” His fingers skim higher, ghosting over the sensitive skin of your inner arm. “You just watched.”

His voice drops again, almost reverent.

“And I was disappointed.”

Your breath catches. A shiver dances down your spine.

He notices — of course he notices.

His smirk shifts, darkens into something heavier. Hungrier.

“Tell me to back off,” he says, quiet now, the tease barely hanging on. Beneath it, something real. Something dangerous. “And I will.”

The silence thickens, clings like humidity before a storm.

“But if you don’t…” His gaze dips to your lips, and your knees damn near buckle. “I think we both know what’s going to happen next.”

You open your mouth — but nothing comes out. Not when he’s this close. Not when his lips hover by your cheek, not when his breath dances across your skin like a promise.

Your body betrays you. Heat blooms low in your belly, every nerve aching, reaching, wanting.

He lingers. Waiting. Testing. Letting you break.

“You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

You should.

You really should.

But your fingers curl into the waistband of his sweatpants, gripping the soft fabric like it’s the only thing tethering you to gravity. His breath catches — barely, but it’s there — and then, without hesitation, you pull him in and crash your mouth to his.

And the world shatters.

It’s not gentle. It’s heat and hunger, teeth and tongue, all the tension you’ve fought against burning through you like wildfire. You gasp against his mouth, and he swallows it whole, pressing you back until the counter bites into your spine — but you don’t care. You just want.

The kiss deepens, greedy and overwhelming, stealing your breath and every last coherent thought with it. For a second — for one sharp, electric second — you forget anything else even exists.

Only this. Only him.

JJ moans into your mouth, low and guttural, as if the sound is torn from somewhere deep inside him. His hands slide around your waist, fingers splayed and gripping like he needs to anchor himself, and then he pins you back against the counter in one fluid motion.

You gasp as he lifts you, your spine arching with the sudden motion. The cold marble kisses your thighs before his hands part them and then his hands pushing the hem of your skirt higher, standing between your legs like he was always meant to be there.

“Jesus,” he breathes against your skin, his lips skimming down your jaw, warm and reverent, like he’s memorizing you. His palms press flat against your hips, grounding you, burning into you. “You should’ve just told me.”

“Tell you what?” you manage, your voice trembling as your fingers thread through his hair. It’s grown out a little — just enough for your hands to sink into — and the softness of it, the familiarity, makes something inside you ache. You’re breathing like you’ve just run a race, chest rising and falling against his with every ragged inhale.

“That you wanted me,” he murmurs. His teeth graze your throat, just barely, and a sigh escapes your lips — soft, helpless, aching. “Would’ve saved us months of pretending.”

“Shut up,” you whisper, but your voice is wrecked — breathless and wanting.

He laughs against your neck, but it’s not cocky anymore. It’s shaky. A little desperate. Like he’s unraveling in real time. And then you kiss him again — harder, deeper — and that’s when the teasing ends.

The tension snaps, turning molten in an instant.

JJ growls low in his throat, hands tightening on your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. His body pushes into yours, chest to chest, hips to hips, until you feel every sharp angle of him. His hands slip beneath your shirt, callused fingertips skating down your sides, and the heat of him makes your knees tremble.

You moan into his mouth, and he answers with a sound that makes your whole body shudder — part hunger, part prayer.

You don’t even register the moment one of his hands slides down, bunching the fabric of your skirt in his fist, the other curling beneath your thigh. He draws you closer, dragging you toward the edge of the counter with a strength that makes your breath catch. You tilt your hips instinctively, and the pressure between your legs spikes like lightning in your veins. You lift your hips for him, heart pounding like a drum in your ears, and the fabric pools around your ankles.

And his hands–

God, his hands are everywhere.

Skimming over bare skin. Tracing lines down your thighs. Gripping, squeezing, worshiping.

You’re dizzy with it.

Every ounce of restraint you’ve fought to keep? Gone. Obliterated the second his lips crash back into yours.

JJ moans into the kiss like he’s starving for it, pulling you closer, tighter, until there’s no space left between you. You can feel the heat of him, the weight of him, the tension humming through every inch of his body as he grinds forward — slow, just enough to tease.

Your fingers slide over his chest, skimming sweat-slick skin, and he twitches beneath your touch, breath hitching when your nails graze down his abdomen.

His grip on you tightens in response, enough to bruise, enough to make your head spin.

“You’re driving me insane, you know that?” he whispers, voice rough, wrecked, as he mouths at your jaw, your throat. He stops just beneath your ear, breath hot as he bites — soft, sinful — and then soothes the sting with his tongue.

You inhale sharply, tipping your head to give him more access. “Am I going crazy?” you rasp. “You’re the one walking around here like some goddamn sinner straight out of an Abercrombie ad.”

JJ lets out a laugh — hoarse, strained. “Could’ve just said something, sweetheart.”

You grab a fistful of his hair and tug, forcing him to look at you.

His pupils are blown, lips kiss-swollen, chest rising and falling like he’s barely holding it together.

“Do you think I’ll give you pleasure?” you breathe, dragging your nails lightly down his torso again, watching him flinch, jaw clenching.

He exhales harshly — and then his hands slide under your thighs, gripping your ass and lifting you off the counter like it costs him nothing.

You gasp, but he swallows the sound with another kiss — hungrier, rougher — as he carries you across the apartment. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, and the friction between your bodies steals the breath from your lungs.

He pins you against the wall outside your bedroom, pressing into you like he’s trying to burn himself into your bones.

There’s no mistaking how much he wants you now.

No more games.

“Still want me to wear a shirt?” he murmurs against your mouth, teasing, breath fanning over your lips.

You don’t hesitate. Not for a second.

“Shut up,” you whisper, tugging at the waistband of his sweats, voice ragged, eyes burning. “And get in my fucking bed.”

JJ grins like the devil himself before throwing open your bedroom door and tossing you onto the mattress.

"You're going to regret saying that, honey," he warns in a low, dangerous voice.

And when he leans over you, eyes darkened with real, bone-deep desire, you realize — he’s absolutely right.

JJ doesn’t waste a second.

The moment your back hits the mattress, he’s on you — all over you. His mouth is hot and demanding, kissing you like he’s been starving for it, like he needs you just to breathe. It makes your stomach flip and your thighs tighten around his.

"You have no idea," he croaks between kisses, his hands sliding under your shirt, "how long I’ve wanted this."

Your breath catches as his fingers trace up your stomach, slowly — deliberately — moving higher.

“Yes?” you tease, trying to keep the upper hand. But your voice betrays you — already breathless, already unraveling for him.

JJ giggles — low, cocky, and utterly rude — but it slips into a sharp gasp when you grind up against him, the friction catching him off guard.

“Hell, yes,” he growls.

His lips find your neck next, kissing wetly, sucking just enough to make you shiver before biting down — leaving a faint mark that makes your pulse race.

“You’re gonna be trouble,” he murmurs, his hands gliding down your sides like he’s memorizing every inch. “I’m already fucking squirming and I haven’t even touched you properly yet.”

You want to snark back — but then he yanks your shirt off and just stares.

That hungry, greedy, possessive look in his eyes steals the words from your throat.

“Jesus,” he mutters, shaking his head like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Then his lips are on you again — hot and open-mouthed — trailing fire down your collarbone, over the curve of your breast, until his tongue flicks over your nipple.

You arch beneath him with a moan. “Damn, JJ…”

Your fingers thread into his hair, tugging hard.

He groans, rolling his hips against you — and God, you can feel how hard he is.

“Can you feel that, honey?” he pants, voice wrecked and teasing all at once. “That’s what you do to me. Walking around, acting like you don’t want to–”

He bites again, sharp enough to make you gasp.

“Like you don’t want me to ruin you.”

Your nails drag down his back, digging in until he hisses.

“Then do it,” you whisper — your voice cracking, already undone.

JJ freezes.

Just for a second.

He stares down at you with wild eyes, dark and blown wide, like he’s about to lose control completely.

Then–

His hands are on your thighs, yanking off your skirt and underwear in one swift, fluid motion.

Before you can even catch your breath, his mouth is on you.

Your head falls back against the mattress. “Fuck, JJ–”

He moans at the sight of you, sprawled out beneath him, your legs parted, your body offered up like some fevered prayer.

“This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he murmurs against you, voice muffled, drunk on you. His tongue teases, circles, slides — then sucks you in deep, pulling a desperate cry from your lips.

You clutch at him — his shoulders, the sheets, the headboard — anything.

But he just laughs, sinful and smug, squeezing your hips tighter to hold you exactly where he wants you.

“Take it, baby,” he rasps, pushing two fingers inside you, curling them just right. “Be a good girl. Let me have you.”

And you do. God, you do.

He fucks you with his mouth like it’s a goddamn art, like it’s the only thing he was born to do. His tongue works you relentlessly while his fingers curl and thrust, and soon, you’re a mess — whimpering, clawing, begging.

“JJ, I… fuck, I can’t–”

“Yes, you can,” he growls. One of his hands reaches up, finding yours, intertwining your fingers.

You squeeze his hand like a lifeline.

Your back arches, a strangled sob caught in your throat, moans pouring from your lips like prayers.

“Come on, baby,” he groans, mouth hot against you. “Let me feel it. Give it to me.”

When he sucks at just the right spot, your vision goes white at the edges.

Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave — violent, shaking, devastating.

JJ moans as you fall apart against his mouth, as your body trembles under him. He doesn’t stop — licks you through it, drinks in every sound, every shudder, until you’re spent and wrecked and still gasping his name.

You're breathing hard, blinking up at the ceiling, still trying to figure out what the hell just happened, when JJ wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smirks down at you.

“Yes,” he murmurs, crawling back up your body, voice thick with arrogance. “That’s what I thought, baby.”

You don’t even get the chance to fire back with something smart, because his mouth is already on yours — and fuck, you can taste yourself on his tongue.

You moan into the kiss, needy and undone, and your fingers tug at the waistband of his sweatpants, desperate for more.

JJ chuckles against your mouth. “Patience, honey.”

“To hell with patience.” Your palm slides over the front of his pants, and he groans, dropping his head to your shoulder, body taut with restraint.

For a second, it seems like he’s going to tease you again — draw it out, make you beg.

But then he pulls back, sits up, and yanks off his sweatpants in one quick, determined move — like he needs to be inside you, like he’s got something to prove.

And… yeah.

You stare.

Because holy. Shit.

Of course, you’ve heard the rumors. Everyone’s heard the whispers on campus about JJ and his — well. Let’s just say his confidence isn't unfounded.

But seeing him like this? Big, thick, hard — real? That’s something else entirely.

JJ smirks like he knows exactly what you're thinking. His hand wraps around himself, slow and deliberate as he strokes, watching your face with a look that’s all heat and hunger.

“You’re looking at me like you wanna eat me alive,” he rasps, voice ragged now.

You lick your lips, pushing up on your elbows, gaze locked on him. One hand reaches out, fingers aching to wrap around him — to feel every vein, every inch.

“Maybe I do.”

JJ groans, grabbing your hips and pulling you flat again.

“No,” he growls, voice dropping dark and deep. He hovers over you, pinning your wrists to the mattress, eyes blazing. “Your turn comes later.”

Then he shifts between your thighs, spreading them wide, and you feel the thick head of his cock pressing against your soaked entrance.

“Right now,” he breathes, eyes locked on yours, “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you forget your own name.”

You shudder beneath him, breath catching. “Bold of you to assume I remember it now.”

JJ laughs — really laughs — and your heart stutters.

And then his grin fades, eyes darkening again, and he pushes in.

Deep.

Slow.

Devastating.

Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, your fingers flexing in his grip as he fills you inch by inch.

JJ curses under his breath, pressing his forehead to yours, shaking.

“Jesus fuck,” he groans. “You’re so tight. So warm. Fucking perfect.”

He pulls out just a little, then pushes back in — deeper, harder. You moan, legs wrapping around his waist instinctively.

And then he does it again.

And again.

And again.

Each thrust hits deeper, harder, rougher — his grip on your wrists tightening as your body arches up to meet him.

The world narrows to this — his breath scorching against your ear, the way his hips snap into you, merciless and unrelenting. The mattress creaks beneath you, the headboard knocks rhythmically against the wall, but it all fades into nothing compared to the sound of JJ breathing your name like a curse, like a promise he knows he’ll break the second you ask him to.

Your back arches when he angles just right, dragging a broken moan from your lips. He grins, teeth grazing your jaw.

“There she is,” he pants, dragging his hand up your side, fingers splayed wide like he’s memorizing the feel of your skin. “Knew you had it in you.”

He palms your breast roughly, thumb brushing over your nipple until it peaks beneath his touch, and when you whimper, he pinches — sharp, sudden, delicious.

You cry out, clenching around him, and he groans like it physically hurts to hold back. “Fuck, you like that, huh?”

“JJ–” you gasp, nails raking down his back, leaving angry red lines in your wake. He hisses, slamming into you harder, the sound of your bodies echoing in the humid, sex-thick air.

“Yeah?” he growls, mouth finding the sensitive spot just below your ear, sucking until your hips jerk. “That what you needed, baby? Me–… ugh…  inside you, owning you?”

“Yes–… God, yes–”

His hand moves to your throat, not squeezing, just resting there, firm enough to make your breath catch, intimate enough to make your head spin. His other hand tugs your leg higher around his hip, and he thrusts deeper, grunting low in his chest.

JJ grabs your chin, tilting your face up until your eyes lock.

“Then look at me when you come,” he says, voice thick and rough. “Take it like you fucking mean it.”

And you do.

Your body bows beneath him, pleasure snapping through you like lightning, your vision going white as you clench around him, shaking. He holds you through it, murmuring your name over and over, like it’s grounding him, like it’s the only word that still makes sense.

You barely register his hips stuttering, his rhythm faltering — until he lets out a broken groan and spills into you with a shudder so full-body it pulls a whimper from his throat. He stays there, buried deep, panting against your neck as his weight settles over you, heavy and warm and exactly where you want him.

For a long moment, neither of you speak. His hand traces lazy patterns along your ribs, then drifts lower, slipping between your legs just to watch you squirm again, already too sensitive.

"Fuckin’ insatiable,” he mutters, kissing your breast, dragging his tongue over your nipple before giving it a soft bite. You twitch, gasping, and he grins like a man who knows he’s wrecked you.

Eventually, he shifts, pulling out with a wet, obscene sound that makes you both hiss. You can feel him dripping out of you, thick between your thighs, sticking to your skin.

You should care. You don’t.

You’re still catching your breath when he breaks the silence.

“So…” JJ says, grinning crookedly, his voice still hoarse. “You still want me to start wearing shirts?”

You smack his chest weakly. “You’re such an asshole.”

But you kiss him anyway — deep, slow, and toe-curling. He tastes like sweat, like salt, like the stupid grin he’s still wearing when you pull back.

To hell with the shirts.

To hell with the rules.

Roommates with a problem? Yeah. The problem is, you’ll never get enough of him. And the real problem? He feels exactly the same.

thankx for reading <3

gosh, writing smut is so hard for me. every time I do, I feel like it’s awkward or badly written and I get so embarrassed lol. so if you’ve got any thoughts, I’d really appreciate any feedback—whether in the comments or my inbox! :3

                                    – your santi 🪐

He smirked at her and her pupils dilated. He was asking for trouble. Little did he know, she'd deliver more of it than he could imagine. She tugged his hair harder and he groaned, no longer smirking but looking at her in surprise. He was incredibly turned on with her taking control of the situation, his dick straining against his pants painfully.

"You like to be hurt?" She was looking right into his eyes as she posed the question and he gulped at the intensity of it all. He didn't really advertise all his kinks so her reading him like that really shook him. He projected the image of a guy who likes control but nothing got him harder than the idea of being used. Somehow she could see right through him. He wanted her to be rough. Wanted her to fuck him. He needed it so badly he almost begged. But he didn't. He still had his pride after all.

"Are you a subby little boy? Huh?" She was teasing him, both with her words and her movements. She was scratching at the back of his neck and looking at him with dark eyes that made him want to get down on his knees for her.

When he didn't respond she tugged at his hair again, harder, drawing a whimper out of him. "I asked you something." He nodded his head rapidly, too turned on to find his words. "Yes?" "Y-yes." She hummed in response.

She looked him over for a moment, he was panting in anticipation. So hard he wanted to burst. And then she was pushing him down by his head, until his knees hit the floor and he was looking up at her with hungry eyes. "You gonna make me cum, baby?" He nodded, wide eyes, licking his lips in preparation for what's to come.

"Go on then. Better make it good if you wanna cum too." Her words had his eyes rolling back. She was so filthy and it was driving him insane. She widened her legs for him and he didn't need to be told twice, flipping her dress up and diving in head first.

He kissed her thighs and hips until he finally made contact with her panty-clad core. He licked her clit over the cotton fabric and her eyes closed in relief. He was looking up at her, needing to see her reactions, to know just how good he was making her feel. He didn't play around too much, slipping his hands under the band of her underwear and pulling it down her legs quickly. She stepped out of them and he stuffed them into his back pocket, not wanting to waste a second more before tasting her.

He pulled one of her legs over his shoulder and buried his face in her heat, finally giving her the sweet release she'd been craving. He moved expertly on her; licking and sucking on her lips, nudging her clit with his nose, lapping up her excitement eagerly. He was moaning into her pussy as he worked her, and it drove her crazy. The vibrations paired with his ministrations felt so fucking good she wanted to be loud, to reward him. But she couldn't. They were still in his place of work and her family was not 50 feet away, clueless as to what she was getting up to with the bartender. It turned her on so much.

He watched her sigh and pant above him as he ate her expertly, her head falling back against the wall, fingers burying into his hair. His tongue made its way into her heat and she gasped, louder than she intended, causing his cock to twitch. She was biting down on her lip to suppress her moans as he started sucking on her clit right before two fingers made their way deep inside her. And then he was pumping into her, licking and sucking and biting on her clit and she had to clamp her hand over her mouth to keep quiet.

He felt so fucking high on it - seeing the pure pleasure he was bringing her was so hot he could barely stand it. He was louder than her, letting out moans and groans into her pussy as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. He didn't care if someone caught them, didn't care that he'd definitely be fired or even arrested if someone walked in on them. The view of her falling apart for him was all he cared about in that moment.

She started clutching on his fingers and he knew she was close so he picked up speed and force, working her harder, sucking her deeper. And then her nails dug into his scalp and she was shaking and twitching on him. She came so hard that his face was drenched and he wanted to curse at how sexy the whole thing was.

He cleaned her up with his mouth, enjoying the taste for as long as he could while she tried catching her breath, legs feeling like jelly after her climax.

Her hand cupped him over his pants and he moaned into her mouth. He was so hard it was painful and she decided enough was enough. She made quick work of undoing his pants, pushing them down his thighs and massaging him over his boxers. He was letting out delicious whimpers and moans at her actions and they were making her feel high.

Her eyes opened and she looked down at him - so damn pretty on his knees for her. His face was shiny with her release and it ignited a new fire in her. She pulled him up by his shirt and kissed him. Hard, needy, so turned on they were both struggling to breathe.

She tasted herself on his tongue and moaned at the absolutely erotic feeling of it. He was gripping her waist, trying to keep himself together, the whole thing overwhelming his senses.

She pulled his underwear down, finally releasing his cock and he wanted to sigh in relief. She looked him over, all panting and flushed and hard for her - so red, tip wet with precum - and she groaned at the sight.

She pulled him back by his hair and kissed his neck as she started pumping him. He was putty in her hands and she was on an adrenaline high. It was so hot, the way he relinquished control to her. So hot she couldn't wait any longer. She rubbed his tip and he whined, causing a smirk to make its way onto her face. So fun to play with. She wanted to drag it out longer but they were on a clock after all, and she really wanted to feel him.

"You're gonna fuck me now. Yes?" He was moaning and nodding, so lost in lust it was hard to find his breath. "Yes?" She repeated and he struggled to find his words. "Ye-yes. Yes." His voice was trembling and it was the sexiest thing.

She wrapped her leg around him, pulling him closer, their cores touching. He was a mess, she was driving him absolutely insane and he didn't mind it one bit.

"Make it hard. I wanna feel you for days." His eyes rolled to the back of his head at her filthy orders. He groaned and nodded, kissing her lips in hopes she won't force him to speak again cause he didn't think he could.

He picked her up, legs wrapped around him, cock pressing into her soaked heat. She leaned half back against the wall and her fingers found their way into his hair again. She loved tugging on it, it was so fun, with his reactions always being so immediate.

He positioned himself at her entrance but before he could push in she pulled his hair to make him look at her. "You don't cum until I say so. Got it?" Fuck, he wanted to cry at how hot that was and how hard it was making him. He didn't think he'd ever been harder in his life.

"Yeah." He mumbled before he pushed inside her. And then they were both letting out desperate pants and low moans, trying so hard to stay quiet but so high on the feeling their self control was slipping.

He was following her orders - fucking her hard and deep, swallowing her moans, squeezing her ass and trying not to pass out from her rough tugs on his hair and the way she clenched around him. It was hot and sloppy and rough and needy and it felt so fucking good. So good that they were both approaching their highs a lot quicker than they expected.

The items on the shelves shook with how hard he was fucking her against the wall. Her nails were digging into his neck and shoulders, drawing groans from deep inside of him. If anyone passed the door they definitely would have known exactly what was going on inside. But they didn't give a shit. It felt too damn good that the risk was worth it.

She started clenching harder, getting closer to the peak and he slipped one hand between them to roughly rub at her clit. That was all it took for her to fall off the edge as she bit down on his shoulder to muffle her screams, her climax rushing through her. It was so intense her eyes rolled back and she was definitely drawing blood with how hard her nails were pressing into his back.

He fucked her through her orgasm, twitching inside her from the intensity of her grip on his cock. He was so pussy drunk he could hardly handle it - so fucking close and he was trying so hard to stay in control, to wait for her say so.

As soon she came down from her high she was pushing him off of her. He was confused at how quickly she jumped down from him, leaving him hard and cold. It didn't take long for him to realize what she was doing as her knees hit the ground and her lips wrapped around his cock. The sight alone had him moaning. Her movements on him having him on the edge in no time.

She was sucking on him so good, tasting her own juices on his dick and moaning around him. He was whimpering with pleasure. She reached down and rubbed his balls and he was right there but she realized he was still holding back. And then she figured out why.

She pulled back, catching her breath. "Cum for me." And as soon as her lips wrapped back around him he did. He came inside her mouth, grunts leaving him as his climax took over and his knees buckled.

He came so hard he felt like he was floating. Her mouth moving on him, working him through his orgasm. It was absolute euphoria. She sucked on him hard, drawing out every last drop until she was sure he was finished. She pulled off of him, opening her mouth to show him his cum swirling in it. He whimpered at the sight - so pornographic he couldn't believe it was happening. And then she swallowed and licked her lips, making sure to get every drop. She licked him clean as his hands against the wall held him upright so he wouldn't fall.

She got up and kissed him, making him taste himself on her tongue and he moaned into her mouth. He swore her middle name must have been Trouble because she was crazy and he loved it.

She pulled away smiling at him, brushing back the hair that fell onto his forehead as they caught their breaths. She was so beautiful he could hardly believe she was real. He found himself smiling too, post orgasm high making them both giddy. She kissed him again, a sweet kiss that almost had him questioning if what just happened was real or if he'd imagined it. But the taste of him on her mouth was more than enough to convince him it was. He moaned into the kiss and she pulled back grinning.

She put her dress back in place and tried to fix her hair with her hands. He was still trying to steady his breathing, just looking at her in awe. She saw him and smirked. That damned smirk that started it all. Trouble.

"You should probably get dressed." She nodded her head down and he realized he was still standing there with his pants down and cock out. He blushed and she laughed reaching down to help him put his underwear back on.

"You're cute when you blush, you know?" She helped him buckle himself back up, his fingers still shaky. His cheeks were bright red now and it was endearing. A simple compliment made him react like that after everything they had just done. Fucking adorable.

She fixed his shirt for him and stood back looking him over, just to make sure he looked presentable enough to go back out into the world. His bow tie was crooked so she reached up to fix it. His eyes were focused on her, too in trance to do anything else but look. Look at this stunning woman in front of him. This filthy, troublesome, beautiful woman.

Her eyes snapped up to see him staring and she cocked a brow. "You're so pretty." She chuckled at his words and kissed his cheek, making him blush all over again. "So are you." She grinned and stepped back, turning round to unlock the door.

His mind finally caught up to him before she managed to turn the handle and he grasped her by the arm, gently. She turned around in question and he pulled her panties from his back pocket handing them to her. She smirked and shook her head leaving him confused.

"Keep 'em. You can give them back to me next time." And with that she opened the door and left him standing there, clutching her underwear, in pure shock over what just happened. Someone passed by the door and he quickly snapped out of it, tucking her panties back into his pocket and fighting off another boner that was quickly starting to form. Trouble.

She passed a mirror on her way back and took a second to fix her appearance. Her cheeks held a healthy flush and she was glowing with that post sex glow. She was sated and feeling happy. But that all came crashing down as soon as she stepped back into the dining hall and reality came flooding back.

Quickly making her way back to her seat, she tried hard not to meet his eye. She could feel his gaze burning into her and she knew - he knew what she'd been up to. And for some reason she felt shitty. She knew she didn't owe him anything. They'd had a one night stand, had no right to each other. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong. She had every right to sleep with whomever and do whatever she wanted.

And yet, the overwhelming guilt bubbling inside of her was claiming different. She felt ashamed and she hated herself for it. For letting him get to her like that. Because it had worked. She hadn't thought of him once when she was with JJ. She felt good and had fun. And she was going to be damned if she let this make her feel bad about herself. No way. She was a grown ass woman, with every right to enjoy herself and she wasn't going to let some guy have that kind of power over her.

Her eyes finally met his. Her resolve clear. She was not letting that guilt make itself at home. She was not some little girl, desperate to belong to a guy. Her plan remained the same; having as much fun as she could this summer before going back to her life and being responsible again.

Rafe could see it in her eyes - she didn't feel bad about it. It seemed for a while like she had, like she was struggling with something in her head. But it seemed she decided not to be bothered about hurting him or making him jealous. And that should have told him that she really didn't care, that she didn't feel the same things he did, that she was done with him. But all it did was make his resolve stronger. He wouldn't accept that, not just like that, not without speaking his piece. Not without showing her just how much he wanted her. Not without trying for her. For them.

He didn't care if she fucked every pogue on the island. He still wanted her. More than he wanted anything in his life. And as much as it hurt, he knew she wasn't in the wrong. He had no right to her, no monopoly. But he wasn't giving up without a fight. He would show her exactly why he was the only one she needed.

Whatever was going on at the table with his friends, Rafe didn't care. Whatever was going on at the table with her family, she didn't care. They were staring at each other, unwilling to relent. As if whoever blinked first admitted defeat. It was perhaps childish and ridiculous but there they were. And the more their eyes stayed on each other's, the more they were both feeling deep inside. The tension, the chemistry, that magnetic pull was still there, as strong as ever. Like it was oxygen in their lungs or iron in their blood. It was undeniable, powerful and real.

Eventually they did break contact, neither knew who it was that blinked first but they were pulled back into conversations at their respective tables, their companions none the wiser of the storms brewing inside of them. And as time passed, they felt the other's eyes on their bodies but they didn't meet again. Not until her family was ready to leave and panic stirred within him. He needed to talk to her. He couldn't just let her leave again without saying anything.

She gave him an intense and calculating look before she spun on her heels and followed her parents out of the club. He jumped up from his seat, leaving Topper and Kelce confused as he made to follow her without a word of explanation. All he could think about was catching up to her. Nothing else mattered.

He hurried out the door of the Island Club and laid eyes on her just as she was unlocking her car. Her parents were still chatting with their associates at a separate vehicle and he took the chance to corner her. He couldn't wait until the next time they accidentally ran into each other. He needed to talk to her now.

He crossed the parking lot in quick strides, reaching her just as she was opening her door. He pushed it closed and she jumped, startled. It took half a second for the scowl to reach her face and he was cursing under his breath. Why did she have to look so god damn adorable while she was mad. While he was mad at her. Fuck!

She stood her ground giving him a look that said - better speak now before I slam this door in your face. She cocked a brow at his dumbstruck expression and silence, rolling her eyes and grabbing the handle again. He grasped her shoulders and turned her around, crowding her against the car with his hands on either side of her.

The breeze blew through her hair and that sweet smell of strawberries and cream invaded his senses making him close his eyes. That damn scent. The same one that had all but disappeared from his pillow from the time they showered together and his hair smelled like hers. He had been breathing it in for two whole days trying to envision her by his side, to pretend she was there. And even though she wasn't, the scent lingered. It drove him insane.

He took a deep breath, forcing his eyes open. She was looking at him with a mix of confusion and excitement running through her veins. He was so close, his warmth enveloping her just like it had that night at the beach. She wanted to melt into a puddle at his feet. Dangerous.

This was exactly why she needed to stay away from him. When he was close she couldn't think straight, she wanted to fall into him and never let go. Which is why him being so persistent was starting to piss her off. She was holding onto her sanity by a thin fucking thread and the more he chased her the closer she was to falling off the edge and crashing into a bottomless pit of feelings, hurt and heartbreak.

She made to push him away, get him out of her personal space, to breathe air that wasn't so infused with him - but he caught her hands against his chest and she didn't have the strength to do it anymore. She wanted to cry. Why couldn't he leave her be? Why couldn't he just move on and let her live in peace? Let her forget and move on from this? It was impossible.

His eyes were desperately searching hers, taking in every freckle on her face. Feeling the warmth of her wrists in his hands, like fire on his skin. He wanted to kiss her so badly his entire body was aching for it. Wanted to drop to his knees and beg her to give him a chance. To cry and hug her and never let go. It was impossible.

"Rafe..." His name leaving her lips sounded like a prayer. He wanted to melt into her right there and then. But she was pushing at him, finally gathering some of her strength.

She managed to push him a foot away and took a breath in hopes she'd feel stronger. But his essence still remained in the air around her, as if mocking her for thinking it would be so easy breaking from his spell. She almost cried - feeling weak and pathetic - like she needed him to hold her and she hated that. Hated feeling like that. So vulnerable, so small.

When she looked up at him her eyes were glossy and his heart clenched at the sight. She was hurting too. He could see it clearly then. She felt something too and she could deny it all she wanted but it was written on her face and the way she held back tears. She was stubborn. So damn stubborn. And so, so beautiful.

He cupped her cheek with one hand and she had to refrain from leaning into his touch. Instead she pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest in hopes of creating a boundary between them. Any kind of safety net between him and her aching heart.

He let his arms fall back at his sides and clenched his fists to keep from touching her. They stood there for what could have been a moment or a century, they couldn't say. Her parents had left without sparing them a second glance and she wasn't surprised but a sliver of anger coursed through her. Now she was alone with him. All alone in this big parking lot with no one to save her from herself. Dangerous.

"I missed you." His words were soft, full of longing and something else she wasn't ready to read into. When her eyes met his again they were eerily empty. No longer on the verge of tears. She was closed up tight like a safe and it left him frustrated. Why did she have to make it all so difficult?

"It's been two days." Her voice was cool, steady, not giving anything away. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for a second." He was putting it out there. It shook her how open and vulnerable he was being, she wasn't used to it. It didn't seem like he was either, given how awkward he looked. But he wasn't holding back. He was being honest. It terrified her because she could feel herself melting and her walls were make believe as it was, she didn't know how much of it she could take.

"It'll pass." There it was. The cut. The only way she knew how to push him away was to make it hurt. And she hated herself for it. Hated the look on his face when she said it. Hated the way he swallowed his pain down. Hated how small he looked while towering over her. Hated it all.

But he wasn't giving up yet. "I don't think so." He closed the gap between them, not quite touching but right there, a breath away. She could feel it. Feel him slipping past her defenses, the facade, making his way inside like a vice taking over her system. It was scary how easily she could feel him inside her chest and heart and she wanted to kiss him. So badly. But it was her head that was desperately trying to grasp the threads that the universe seemed to want to manipulate in his favor - trying to change course, to protect her.

"Give it a few more days." He took a deep breath at that, trying to keep his temper in check. Her feigned indifference was so blatantly obvious and it was making him angry. He was trying so hard. Opening up to her the way he never had with anyone before. So desperately trying to get her to admit she felt something for him too. Just to give him that little bit of hope that he wasn't alone in it. Some fucking silver lining to hold onto.

"You think if I go fuck someone else right now I'll feel better?" She looked like he slapped her. "Do you? Feel better?" She had to swallow down the sting that came with her thinking of him actually moving on with someone else. Took everything in her to convince herself that that was exactly what he should do. He needed to move on and give her a chance to put herself back together. To breathe. To let him go.

"If that's what works, yeah. Fuck me out of your system and you'll be okay." She gave him a fake smile and tried turning around but he pushed her onto the car, trapping her there. "Did it work for you? Hmm?" She gulped at the fire in his eyes and the way he was holding her so tight. "Did he fuck me out of your system?" She was holding back tears now. "Did he? Huh? Are you over me, now?" It hurt so bad to have him so close and so angry at her. So desperate to get her to let her guard down for one second. Just one second.

The way his eyes bore into hers, the way his body was pinning her against the car door, the way his hands were holding her as if she'd disappear if he let go, drove her mad. She could feel every muscle of his straining against her, every ridge of his hard body wired tight from frustration. Frustration at her; how stubborn she was, that pogue touching her, how fucking pretty she was, how good she smelled and how badly he wanted to remind her just how good it was when they were together.

It was like a spark was set alight with both their hurt and anger and it was spreading through every cell in their bodies. That pull, that stubborn, annoying, magnetic pull, making them shake with need and want. The tension at a breaking point. They were both wound up and breathing heavily. Him trying to stop himself from taking her right there. Her trying to stop herself from letting him.

She took a deep breath and shoved him off of her roughly. "Yes." Lie. Big fucking lie. "I am." He could see it. She was lying through her teeth.

"Yeah?" He got in her face again. "You sure about that, angel?" The pet name had her holding back a whimper, his energy so possessive and dangerous and hot. So hot. She wanted to curse her body for betraying her desire. Curse him for being so persistent in reading her like an open book.

"Yeah? So if I check right now your panties won't be soaked for me? Huh?" His filthy words nearly had her eyes rolling back. She needed to get control of the situation and she needed to do it now.

"Yes." Her voice shook. Just a little. But enough for him to pick up on. And then he smirked and she knew she was fucked.

That damned smirk made the tingles in her heat turn into a burning fire. She was so close to giving in and he knew it. He had her right where he wanted her.

"No. They won't." The conviction in her voice took him by surprise. He could tell she was just as turned on as he was. So why did she sound so sure of herself?

She used his confusion to her advantage and pushed him off of her again. He didn't protest. Did she mean it? Was he wrong? Was it all in his head? And then her words nearly knocked him on his ass in shock.

"I'm not wearing any." His brain short circuited and he was left gaping at her like an idiot. She took advantage of it and quickly made her way inside her car, closing the door. By the time his brain rebooted she was turning the key in the ignition.

He wanted to stop her, to rip that door open and take her. Bend her over and bury himself inside her until she screamed for him and everyone, including Maybank, knew who she belonged to.

But she was backing up before he could and he was left standing there in the dust, panting, with a hard cock, wanting to scream with anger and arousal.

She knew exactly what she was doing, telling him that. She knew what his reaction would be. Knew it would drive him insane. But she also gave him the confirmation he had so desperately been searching for. She was just as into him as he was her. She was turned on, wet for him. She wanted to throw him off with her smart comment but she gave him exactly what he needed - hope. His resolve was stronger than ever. He was going to make her his. He would fight tooth and nail for her. Put his blood and sweat and tears into making them happen. Because she did feel it. He wasn't alone.

He grinned thinking that if that was how she wanted to play it, he would give as good as he got. He would drive her crazy until she finally accepted her feelings. He wasn't going anywhere. He was hers and she was his. He would make her see it soon enough.

☾ – smut; ☁︎ - angst; 𖤓 - fluff

☁︎ shadows(x routledge!fem!reader) – 2.3k

summary: when emotions take over and shadows are swallowed up, all you need is to find a person who will become your light (based on shadows by sabrina carpenter).

☁︎ story of my life – 2.8k

summary: what are you willing to do for the love of your life?

☁︎ 𖤓 dance with me (x dancer!fem!reader) – 5.9k

summary: jj maybank loves the sea, the sandy beach of north carolina and the warm sun. new york is the exact opposite of all this. and he hates it. but she... she changes everything.

☁︎ 𖤓 golden again – 7.9k

summary: two hearts lost to time meet again at sunrise, where the sea remembers what they tried to forget.

☁︎ 𖤓 10:49 pm – 7.6k

summary: every day, jj wakes up to love you. every night, the clock strikes 10:49 – and he loses you all over again.

☁︎ 𖤓 violence (boxer!jj maybank) – 4.7k

summary: jj maybank wants to put the whole world at her feet, but the only way he knows in this life is violence.

☁︎ 𖤓 hate to be lame (fwb!jj maybank) – 4.3k

summary: you hate to admit it but you might love jj maybank (inspired by hate to be lame - lizzy mcalpine, finneas).

☁︎ 𖤓 iris – 3.9k

summary: jj maybank struggled all his life just to finally find his home in your arms (inspired by iris - goo goo dolls).

☁︎ 𖤓 die with the smile – 3.9k

summary: a love once haunted by nightmares finds solace in a sunrise, where promises of healing and hope turn dreams of a future into quiet, steady certainty.

☁︎ 𖤓 shape of my heart – 21.2k

summary: sometimes you need to wait a little longer to find your true way.

☁︎ 𖤓 sunset season – 6.0k

summary: the summer you thought would end like all the others turns out to be the beginning of everything.

𖤓 moonstruck – 2.6k

summary: who could have known that jj maybank would steal your first kiss beneath the stars, all to evade the pursuing police?

𖤓 santa doesn’t know you like i do – 5.4k

summary: in the warmth of christmas, amidst love, healing, and a new beginning, jj and you find your imperfect paradise, where home is wherever you're together.

𖤓 eyes on you (x cheerleader!reader) – 1.6k

summary: one touchdown, one invitation, one night that could finally bring jj down to earth.

☾𖤓 enjoy the now – 3.2k

summary: left alone in the car, the tension grows by the second… and none of you are ready to resist it.

☾ roommates with a problem – 4.4k

summary: living with jj maybank is like playing with fire — you swore you wouldn’t get burned, but when he finally touches you, you go up in flames.

justice (fbi!jj maybank)

↳ renegade – 1.9k

summary: your first day in the criminal investigation division introduced you to a partner who had already made up his mind — he didn’t like you, and he wasn’t hiding it.

↳ 𖤓 top secret – 1.3k

summary: you and JJ are the best FBI agents who went undercover at a charity dinner to catch a dangerous criminal. but JJ can't concentrate on the case at all, because all he can see is your smile.

where the tide waits (army!jj maybank)

summary: our love like the tide — restless, relentless, and always returning home.

➥ Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

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your heels sink slightly into the grass the second you step forward, soft enough to remind you this isn’t as effortless as it’s supposed to look. but you don’t falter. you never do. your shoulders stay straight, chin lifted just enough, every movement practiced without ever having to think about it.

it’s almost blinding—the way the sunlight hits linen and silk and lace, the way it reflects off champagne glasses and polished jewelry. girls in flowing dresses drift past like something out of a dream, their laughter light and easy, like nothing in the world has ever touched them. men stand in neat clusters, sleeves rolled just enough to look casual without ever being careless.

everything is intentional.

everything is perfect.

and you fit into it seamlessly.

your dress is exactly what it’s supposed to be—light, soft, expensive in a way that doesn’t need to be announced. it moves with you when you walk, catching the breeze just right, brushing against your legs like it belongs there. like you belong here.

you know people are looking.

not staring—never that. it’s subtler. glances, double takes, the quiet kind of attention that lingers just a second too long before slipping away again. you offer small smiles when needed, nod in greeting when someone passes, let yourself be pulled briefly into conversations that never really say anything.

“you look beautiful,” someone tells you.

you thank them, like you always do.

it’s easy. all of it is easy.

that’s the problem.

because none of it reaches you—not really. the music drifts somewhere just out of focus, soft and airy, blending into the background of clinking glasses and low conversation. the air smells like salt and expensive perfume and something floral you can’t quite place. it should feel nice. it should feel like something.

instead, it feels like standing inside a picture.

like if you stay still long enough, you might disappear into it completely.

you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, more out of habit than necessity, fingertips grazing fabric that doesn’t wrinkle, doesn’t shift, doesn’t betray anything underneath. everything about you is exactly as it should be.

that’s what today is for.

representing your family. smiling at the right people. being seen in the right way.

you know where to stand, who to talk to, when to laugh. you know how long to hold eye contact, how to excuse yourself without seeming rude, how to exist here without ever drawing the wrong kind of attention.

you’ve been doing it long enough that it doesn’t even feel like pretending anymore.

just… performing.

your gaze drifts out over the crowd, not searching for anything in particular, just something to anchor yourself to. the marina glints in the distance, water shifting in slow, lazy waves. a breeze moves through the crowd, lifting strands of hair, tugging gently at dresses, carrying the sound of laughter a little further than before.

it’s beautiful.

it always is.

and still—

you feel slightly out of place in your own skin, like you’re standing just a step removed from everything happening around you. like if someone looked close enough, they’d notice it—that disconnect, that quiet distance you keep tucked neatly behind practiced smiles and polite conversation.

but no one ever does.

they see what they’re supposed to see.

and you give them exactly that.

you adjust the strap of your dress, inhale slowly, and step further into the crowd, letting it close around you like it always does.

like it’s where you’re meant to be.

even if it doesn't quite feel like it.

he doesn’t belong here.

it’s obvious before anyone even really looks at him.

he cuts through the edge of the crowd like something that slipped past security: uninvited, unwanted, out of place in a way that doesn’t try to hide itself. where everything else is soft and polished, he’s all rough edges. sunburnt skin, a shirt that’s seen better days, salt dried into the fabric like he didn’t bother rinsing it out. there’s a cut split just at the edge of his lip, faintly scabbed over, and a darker bruise blooming along his cheekbone, half-hidden but not enough.

it clashes with everything.

the music doesn’t stop. the laughter doesn’t either. but there’s a subtle shift, the kind you only notice if you’re paying attention. glances that linger a second too long, conversations that dip just slightly as he passes through. he ignores it. of course he does.

he’s not here for any of this.

just a job.

in and out.

that’s what he keeps telling himself, anyway. like repetition makes it true.

his fingers tighten briefly around whatever john b shoved into his hand before sending him off, like holding it harder will make the rest of this easier to ignore. something for sarah. quick, simple, no detours, don’t stay. like he’s ever been good at that last part.

still, he moves like he means it.

quick steps. eyes scanning. get it done, get gone.

except his attention keeps slipping in ways he doesn’t approve of.

because there’s you.

and his brain registers that fact before he’s ready for it to.

it doesn’t feel like a pause. not really.

it feels like interruption.

like something inside him stutters without asking permission.

you’re across the lawn, half-turned in conversation, sunlight catching on the fabric of your dress in a way that almost makes it look unreal, like the world decided to overexpose you for no reason other than spite. everything about you fits here— too well. like you were made for this kind of setting, like you’ve always been part of it. effortless. untouchable.

he knows better.

that’s the problem.

because knowing better doesn’t stop anything.

his gaze sticks, and he hates that it does, because it feels less like looking and more like getting caught. like his eyes forgot the rule they’ve been trying to follow all day.

he tries to move on.

he really does.

but his attention keeps snapping back like it doesn’t trust him to leave it alone.

you laughing softly at something someone says.

you adjusting your dress like it doesn’t matter.

you existing like you don’t carry any weight at all.

and still—

because that’s the contradiction, isn’t it?

you look like you belong here more than anyone else, and somehow that makes it worse. like the version of you he remembers doesn’t fit into this one without friction.

his jaw tightens before he can stop it, small enough that no one would notice unless they were already looking too closely. he tells himself to look away properly this time.

he doesn’t.

that annoys him more than anything else.

he wasn’t supposed to see you.

that wasn’t part of this.

that thought should be simple enough to follow. it usually is.

except it isn’t working.

for a second too long to be safe, his brain does something stupid and uninvited.

it rewrites you.

not as you are here.

but as something else entirely.

not clearer. not better.

just different.

you closer than you are now, like distance was never something that existed between you in the first place. the noise around him dulls in his head without actually stopping, like his attention has decided to abandon everything except the image it’s constructing.

it’s not even a full scene.

just fragments.

you turning toward him like you’ve always been halfway there already.

him standing there like he was never supposed to leave in the first place.

something about it feels wrong immediately.

too easy. too clean. too much like something that would hurt more later if he let it stay.

he forces it down.

hard.

his grip on the paper tightens again like he can physically anchor himself back into what’s real.

john b. sarah. leave.

he repeats it internally like it’s supposed to drown something else out.

it doesn’t.

because you look up.

and it’s immediate.

not gentle. not hesitant.

like the distance between you gets noticed at the exact same time on both ends and neither of you had a chance to pretend otherwise.

there it is.

everything you didn’t say.

everything he didn’t let himself finish thinking.

not sitting between you like space.

sitting there like pressure.

the noise around you continues without caring, music, voices, glasses clinking, but it all starts to feel slightly misaligned, like the world is happening a fraction too far away to be fully involved.

you don’t smile.

he doesn’t either.

but his expression shifts anyway, barely, almost annoyingly so, like his face doesn’t fully agree with him anymore.

his eyes flick over you once, not slow enough to be considered anything soft, not quick enough to pretend it means nothing. he registers the dress, the posture, the version of you that exists here like it was always meant to.

and then something in him misfires again, smaller this time but sharper.

not admiration.

not even recognition in the usual sense.

more like his brain trying and failing to reconcile two versions of the same person without letting him choose which one is real.

he exhales once through his nose, controlled, like he’s trying to reset himself inside his own body.

he was only supposed to drop something off.

he wasn’t supposed to feel anything about it.

but now—

now his thoughts keep doing that thing again, where they refuse to stay where he puts them.

not fully forming.

just interrupting.

and he hates that most of all.

because it means leaving is no longer the only thing he’s struggling with.

it means staying just became a possibility he didn’t agree to.

he doesn’t move at first.

he tells himself it’s because he’s waiting for you to look away first. like it’s some kind of silent agreement you’re both supposed to understand without saying it out loud.

but you don’t.

you stay right there, looking at him like the space between you didn’t just collapse, it just finally stopped pretending it was empty.

and that does something to him.

something irritating.

something familiar.

his grip tightens on the paler again before he even realizes he’s doing it, knuckles pressing into the edges like he can physically keep himself from reacting. he should leave. he should absolutely leave.

instead, he hears himself speak.

“you always just show up where you’re not supposed to be?”

it comes out flatter than he means it to. not sharp enough to be an attack, not soft enough to be anything else. just… him trying to sound normal inside something that is very clearly not.

there’s a beat.

you don’t react immediately.

and that pause is worse than if you had.

because it gives him time to notice everything again—too much at once.

the way the sun hits your shoulder like it belongs there.

the way your expression doesn’t change when it should.

the way you’re standing close enough now that he can’t pretend this is just visual anymore.

you tilt your head slightly.

not offended. not amused.

just observing him like he’s the one acting strange.

“i didn’t know you were coming,” you say.

simple.

clean.

too calm.

he exhales once through his nose, a short, almost humorless sound.

“yeah,” he says. “that’s kind of the point.”

it should end there.

it doesn’t.

because you step slightly closer. not dramatically, not like you’re trying to close distance. just enough that the air between you shifts again.

and his brain does that thing again.

tries to fill in what isn’t happening.

fails.

you in a different version of this moment. not midsummers. not noise. not people around you.

just you and him standing somewhere that doesn’t exist anymore.

he hates that it comes so easily.

he hates more that part of him doesn’t stop it fast enough.

“you look… different,” you say then.

it’s not said like a compliment.

it’s not said like anything at all, really.

just fact.

his jaw tightens slightly.

“yeah,” he answers. “things happen.”

there’s a flicker in your expression at that, gone quickly, but not fast enough that he misses it.

something like acknowledgment.

or memory.

or both.

and suddenly it’s not just midsummers anymore in his head. it’s everything stacked on top of each other. the version of you before silence, the version of him before consequences, the version of this that never got a chance to settle into anything stable.

his thoughts try to go somewhere dangerous again.

they don’t fully form.

just fragments.

you laughing too easily.

him thinking it didn’t matter then.

him being wrong.

he forces his attention back to your face.

bad idea.

worse.

because now you’re looking at him like you’re waiting for something he hasn’t said yet.

and he can feel it building— pressure under his ribs, something unsaid trying to push its way out and immediately getting shoved back down.

he almost speaks.

almost.

but then someone brushes past behind you, close enough that the moment breaks slightly, like reality refusing to let it hold too long.

voices rise again.

music returns to the front of everything.

and it gives him the smallest excuse to reset.

he uses it.

quickly.

too quickly.

“i’ve gotta—” he starts, lifting the package slightly like it explains everything.

he doesn’t finish the sentence.

because you cut in—not loudly, not sharply.

just enough to interrupt him cleanly.

“you were supposed to stay away.”

it’s not anger.

it’s not sadness either.

it’s just truth said too simply.

and that hits harder than anything else so far.

his eyes flick up to yours immediately.

and for a second, something in his expression shifts—something unguarded trying to surface before he stops it.

he opens his mouth.

starts something.

something real.

it doesn’t make it out.

instead, he exhales, looks away for half a second like he’s physically refusing the direction that thought was going.

“yeah,” he says instead, quieter. controlled again. “well.”

that’s it.

that’s all he gives it.

and it’s not enough.

it’s never enough.

you hold his gaze a moment longer than necessary, like you’re waiting to see if he’ll correct himself.

he doesn’t.

and that’s when someone calls your name from behind you.

not urgent.

just normal.

pulling you back into the rest of the world like it has a claim on you that he doesn’t.

you don’t move immediately.

neither does he.

for a fraction of a second too long, it feels like the entire party exists somewhere else entirely and you two are stuck in the gap between it.

then you finally glance away.

and that’s worse.

because it breaks the thing that wasn’t supposed to be holding.

you step back slightly.

not leaving.

not staying.

just shifting out of the center of it.

and he feels it immediately— the space opening again, the world reasserting itself, the moment slipping back into something he can pretend didn’t matter.

except it already did.

you turn just enough to acknowledge whoever called you, then pause like you forgot something.

your eyes come back to him one last time.

not soft.

not anything.

just present.

and then you’re pulled away.

not dramatically.

not cleanly.

just… gone from where he’s standing.

he stays where he is.

paper still in his hand.

jaw tight again.

breathing slightly slower than before.

and the worst part isn’t that the moment ended.

it’s that nothing about it actually feels finished.

just interrupted.

like everything between you is still sitting there, waiting for the next time neither of you manages to walk away properly.

you can still feel him in it.

not physically, he’s already moved, already forced himself back into motion like nothing just shifted under his skin, but the moment doesn’t stay behind with you. it follows. like something stuck to the inside of your ribs.

you turn slightly when the voice behind you pulls your attention away, smile already in place before you even register who it is. it’s automatic. practiced. safe.

but your focus splits anyway.

because somewhere in the crowd, jj is still there.

you don’t look for him.

you don’t need to.

you just… know.

and that knowledge is annoying in a way you refuse to name.

you let the conversation carry you forward, nodding at the right places, laughing when it’s expected, keeping everything exactly where it should be on the surface. but underneath, there’s a small, quiet awareness that doesn’t settle.

like something got left open.

he moves through the party like he’s trying to erase the fact that anything happened at all.

it should be easy.

it isn’t.

he keeps his head slightly down, eyes scanning for sarah, for anything that gives him direction again. but every few seconds his attention drifts sideways without permission.

to you.

not standing with him anymore.

not looking at him anymore.

that should help.

it doesn’t.

because his brain keeps replaying the moment like it’s trying to fix it, re-run it, catch something he missed the first time.

he hates that.

just a delivery. just a delivery.

he repeats it like it means something.

like repetition can flatten what just happened.

it doesn’t.

his jaw tightens as he forces himself forward again, threading past groups of people who don’t know anything is off except him. no one else saw it. no one else felt it shift.

that should make it smaller.

it somehow makes it worse.

you catch a glimpse of him again through the movement of the crowd.

not close.

just there.

talking to someone—someone you don’t register properly. his posture is slightly too rigid for casual conversation, like he’s holding himself in place on purpose. like if he relaxes even a little, something will slip out.

you shouldn’t notice that.

you do anyway.

your conversation continues without pause, but your attention fractures again in the same exact place it did before.

you tell yourself it’s nothing.

just jj being jj.

passing through.

temporary.

but your mind doesn’t fully accept that explanation, not this time.

because there’s a detail that won’t leave quietly:

the way he looked at you earlier didn’t feel like someone passing through.

it felt like someone stopping despite themselves.

he hears his name somewhere in the distance.

not directly. not clearly.

just enough to redirect him.

sarah.

right.

he should be doing that.

his body turns before his thoughts fully agree, already shifting course, already trying to re-anchor itself in the task he came here for.

but then—

you laugh.

not at him.

not for him.

just nearby.

and it cuts through whatever he was trying to rebuild in his head.

his steps slow for half a second before he forces them forward again.

don’t look again.

he does anyway.

immediately.

and that pisses him off more than anything else.

because you’re just there.

existing like nothing cracked open between you ten minutes ago.

like he didn’t stand still too long.

like he didn’t feel anything he wasn’t supposed to feel.

his fingers flex once at his side, tension pulling tight through his arm as he forces his attention forward again.

leave. just do it. leave.

but his feet don’t move any faster.

they just keep going.

you feel it again before you see it.

that pull.

that awareness that he’s still somewhere in the same space even when he’s not in front of you.

it’s irritating.

it shouldn’t matter.

but it does.

you adjust your expression slightly, letting the conversation carry you again, letting your body do what it always does in spaces like this—smooth, easy, untouched.

still.

there’s a part of you that keeps tracking something you refuse to admit you’re tracking.

not him exactly.

the absence of him.

or maybe the fact that it doesn’t feel like absence at all.

he stops near the edge of another group, half-listening to something someone says that doesn’t land in his brain properly.

his thoughts don’t sit still.

they keep breaking apart.

she looked at me like she already knew—

no.

he cuts it off.

immediately.

too sharp.

his jaw flexes again.

he nods at something he didn’t fully hear, just to get through the interaction.

then looks away again.

too fast.

like the act of looking is the problem.

you turn slightly as someone gestures toward the water, shifting your attention with practiced ease.

but your eyes still drift, just for a moment, across the crowd.

not searching.

just checking.

and of course—

he’s still there.

not near.

not with you.

just existing in the same space like a problem that refuses to resolve itself.

and for the first time since he showed up, you understand something clearly without meaning to:

nothing about that moment earlier actually ended.

it just stopped speaking.

he exhales once, slow, controlled, like he’s trying to reset his entire body into something functional again.

he should find sarah.

he should leave.

he should stop looking back.

he doesn’t do any of those things cleanly.

because somewhere behind him—behind everything he’s trying to focus on—

you’re still there.

and he’s still aware of it.

too aware.

like the part of him that noticed you earlier never fully shut off again.

he tells himself he just has to find sarah.

that’s still the plan.

it hasn’t changed.

it shouldn’t have changed.

except now every time he turns, it feels like the crowd rearranges itself in a way that keeps you somewhere in it. not in front of him. not obvious. just… present. like a detail his brain refuses to stop indexing.

he exhales through his nose once, sharp, like that should clear it.

it doesn’t.

he finds sarah near the middle of a dance floor finally, caught in the rhythm, gold light hitting her like she belongs in it too. that should be simple. that should be the end of the detour.

he starts toward her.

and then—

you again.

not close. not even interacting with him.

just across the space between people, shifting slightly as someone steps away from you. your dress catches the light when you move, and for a second his attention fractures again before he can stop it.

don’t.

he actually says it in his head this time.

like it’ll listen.

it doesn’t.

he keeps walking anyway, but slower now, like his body and his mind are arguing about the same direction.

you feel the shift before you fully see it.

the crowd opens slightly near sarah, movement pulling people into different clusters, and for a brief moment everything aligns in a way that makes it harder to ignore him again.

jj is closer now.

not to you.

to her.

you shouldn’t care about that detail.

you do anyway.

you tell yourself it’s just because of proximity. coincidence. shared space. nothing more than that.

but your focus narrows without permission.

because now the situation is clear in a way it wasn’t before:

he came here for something else.

not you.

and that should settle everything.

it doesn’t.

he reaches sarah, finally.

his voice comes out steadier than he feels.

“hey. got something for you.”

he holds the package out while pretending to dance like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

like nothing else is happening in his head at the same time.

sarah takes it, distracted, mid-dancewith someone else, nodding while fully looking at him.

“thanks, jj.”

easy.

done.

that should be it.

he should leave.

he should already be turning away.

but he doesn’t move yet.

because for some reason, his body hesitates like it’s waiting for something it refuses to name.

and that’s when it happens—

his eyes flick again.

just once.

and land on you.

you’re still not looking at him.

you’re mid-conversation with someone else now, posture perfect, expression controlled, the same version of you he’s been trying not to think too hard about.

but something about seeing you like that—fully elsewhere while he is still aware of you lands differently this time.

harder.

less abstract.

more real.

his jaw tightens.

he looks away immediately, too quickly, like it burned.

but it’s too late.

because the thought is already there.

uninvited.

stupid.

persistent.

she’s not waiting for you.

he swallows once.

hard.

and forces himself to finally turn away from sarah’s group.

this time, actually moving.

you notice it only when it’s already happening.

jj shifting out of your peripheral space again.

leaving.

or trying to.

it should feel like relief.

it doesn’t.

because now there’s a finality to it that wasn’t there before.

you let yourself breathe out slowly, letting the moment close back into itself like it never split open in the first place.

but it doesn’t fully close.

not cleanly.

because even as he moves away, something in the space he occupied doesn’t reset properly.

like the air remembers.

he walks a few steps before he realizes he’s not actually thinking about where he’s going anymore.

just that he’s moving.

just that he should keep moving.

but the problem is—

his thoughts don’t follow clean lines now.

they loop.

they interrupt.

they return to the same point no matter how far he tries to go from it.

you.

not standing near him.

not talking to him.

not doing anything at all related to him.

and somehow that makes it worse than if you were.

he exhales again, quieter this time.

and forces his attention forward.

for real this time.

he leaves the center of the crowd.

keeps walking.

doesn’t look back.

doesn’t let himself.

but even without looking—

he still knows where you are.

and that’s the part that won’t settle.