We're All Just Fucked Up Kids

I’m like 105% tired.

january is one of those months where you experience every feeling on the human spectrum and you just have to go about your day like that isn't happening

I wanna burn down every single bridge I built cause I’m tired of being the only person that makes sure it doesn’t fall apart

“you’re so distant” you literally made me feel like i wasn’t important

I can’t shake this feeling that I don’t belong. I always feel misplaced, unwanted, unloved. Every sign of love seems false and forced. I feel so isolated and alone.

it’s kind of weird how we’re culturally not supposed to admit that we do things for money and/or attention. Like I’m not going to work because i’m a team player or because I care about the company mission, I’m going so I can pay rent and buy food. I’m not publishing my fanfic because I’m passionate about writing or because I only care about art in its purest form, I’m publishing it because I want attention. If I didn’t want attention, I’d leave it on my hard drive. Really, why are we supposed to pretend to have “better” motivations?

like to be clear I am passionate about writing and I want to be a good writer, but when I truly just want to “write for myself” I leave it on my computer and never share it. I have plenty of things that fall into that category on my hard drive, that nobody else will ever read, but if I go through the effort to upload it somewhere? I am seeking attention and I would like it in the form of kudos, comments, and reblogs thank you