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it chapter 3: divorcing my spouse to shack up with my childhood best friend

the joker got his scars from trying to put a whole pringle in his mouth at once

so disturbed when people say they don’t like vegetarian food. bro this is vegetables

Just once in my life I want to throw a Molotov Cocktail

i hope that baby yoda grows up to talk like a normal person and we find out yoda was just a fucking freak

you can find homoerotic subtext in anything if you believe in yourself

Conversely, you can also ignore heteroromantic subtext in anything if you don’t give a shit. The leading man and woman make long, lingering eye contact? They’re thinking about bread. I know I am.

mcqueen

im begging of you please dont take my man

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of