Attempts at Creativity

So I think after debute and before Miyeong died, Celine's favorite mentor -- her second mother, if she was being honest -- died. Her other two mentors had always been a little more leery of Celine shifting so she tried to limit it around them.

When Miyeong and Third died, Celine just fell apart. She shifted into a wolf and just disappeared for months after leaving baby Rumi with the (remaining) mentors. When she came back, the mentors sat her down and told her that she had a responsibility to a baby now and she couldn't just shift into a wolf and run away from her problems anymore.

"No more shifting, no more running away, Celine-ya," Eunji said.

And Celine had agreed.

So there really had been no point in telling Rumi (and Mira and Zoey); she wasn't planning on shifting again. They had no reason to be told something that would only scare them.

After the Idol Awards, Celine feels like the worst person in the world so she shifts into the worst version of herself -- a giant, monsterous half-wolf, half-human creature with none of the good qualities of either side of her.

When the girls come up to the hanok to speak with Celine, because Celine hasn't responded to any of their texts or calls, they see Eunji-nim outside, with a giant butcher knife, cleaning a whole sheep.

"Grandmother?" Rumi asks, tilting her head.

The last surviving mentor spent most of her time in her villa, in a community of equally old retirees. And rarely came out this far. It was usually her and Celine visiting Eunji-nim.

"Oh, did Celine-ya finally come to her senses and let you three know she's alive?"

When the three of them shake their heads, Eunji sighs.

"That girl has always been so dramatic," she says. "Ever since she crawled out of the woods and we took her in --"

"Wait what?" Zoey asks.

"Crawled out of the woods?" Rumi looks confused.

Eunji comes to the hanok when she sees the aftermath of the Idol Awards (that Huntrix had apparently broken up briefly and that the CEO of Sunlight Entertainment, Kang Celine, will not be making any public statements).

She knows that when it comes to overwhelming life events, Celine hides inside of her wolf self and will not come out until her heart has calmed. So does not surprise her that she arrives to the hanok and finds that a wild animal has torn it apart. Nor does she find it disconcerting to hear anguished howls outside in the middle of the night.

It was times like this she missed Hana the most. Their youngest always had a special bond with the pup they'd taken in and when she'd died, their pup had acted like she'd lost her mother.

Hana could get Celine to transform back just by calling her name. She certainly would not need to find a sheep to butcher and grill and hope the smell lured the pup close enough to her that she could talk some sense into her.

When her grandchildren -- true, they shared no blood but they shared a duty and a history and that made them family -- arrived, she realized that Celine hadn't bothered to tell these hunters what she was. And had also neglected to tell Eunji what Rumi was.

"So Celine's a demon!?" They had yelled.

"A wolf spirit of a sort," Eunji said. "Never under the control of Gwi-ma like I assume your father must have been?"

The grilling meat had lured Celine close. But the moment she laid eyes on Rumi, she whined and lowered her head. And started to slink back into the forest.

Celine whined once more and pushed herself further into the darkness of the forest.

“Don’t approach her.” Eunji warned.

“Will she attack?”

“No, but she’s very scared right now and, honestly, depressed. You have to let her move on her own or she’ll run again.”

“She’s my moth—my mentor. I know how to talk to her.” Eunji fought the urge to narrow her eyes at Rumi’s glowing patterns. She had never seen demon patterns glow but it appeared as though they glowed based on the person’s emotions. Rumi’s anger vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, leaving her with the multicolored patterns she’d arrived with, “Celine? It’s okay. It’s me. Remember, Rumi?”

“Does she remember us?” Mira asked.

The exchange echoed in her mind on a constant loop.

“Why couldn’t you love me?”

“I DO!”

“ALL OF ME!”

The idea that those could be some of the last words they share scared Rumi to the core. She hadn’t been thinking. She had been so worked up, so distraught over everything, she hadn’t realized just how much of a blow those words - that accusation - would be.

“Rumi.”

Her gaze shot up, finding Mira’s. The dancer didn’t look much better than the rest of them, but as always she had a facade of cool strength and calm Rumi envied her for at times. Mira gave her a nod, adding, “You ok?”

Rumi wanted to lie. To brush it off with a quick “I’m fine” and continue to let her own negative emotions fester. But they had agreed not to keep things from each other, and lying now felt just as wrong as everything else about this situation. So she shook her head, and decided to tell the truth.

“I…I think I caused this,” she admitted quietly.

Everyone turned to her, quiet and patient. Somehow, she could even sense the pair of eyes in the woods lock onto her.

“No wonder Celine freaked out.”

“I did this.”

Rumi’s voice was soft and subtle. Quiet enough that it pierced through the silent grounds as much as it would have if she had yelled the words at the top of her lungs. Did she regret getting angry at Celine? No. There were things she needed to get off her chest. Did she regret not reaching out to Celine earlier? Yes. Maybe all of this could have been avoided if Rumi had called her after the fight with Gwi Ma and spoken to her for more than five minutes, if she had thought about Celine’s words.

Why couldn’t you love me?!

I do.

I do!

I DO!

She dropped to a knee so she could meet the wolf's Celine's gaze. "I'm sorry," she breathed, "I...I shouldn't have said... I know you love me, Cece. I was just...scared, and hurt and I needed a place to lash out and I chose you and... I'm sorry."

Celine's ears drooped, and her expression somehow softened further. With a small whine, she leaned forward, pressing her giant head against Rumi's chest. She stayed like that for a long time. Rumi could feel Celine's breath on her torso, slow and controlled like she was focusing on something and wanted to be sure she could hear it. It took her a moment, but Rumi realized Celine was listening to her heart.

With incredible caution, Rumi lifted one hand and ever so gently threaded her fingers into the fur behind Celine's ear. It was coarser than she expected, but the underfur was soft and thick. She gave the area a small scratch, remembering the way Celine used to tuck flyaway strands of purple hair behind Rumi's ear.

So I think after debute and before Miyeong died, Celine's favorite mentor -- her second mother, if she was being honest -- died. Her other two mentors had always been a little more leery of Celine shifting so she tried to limit it around them.

When Miyeong and Third died, Celine just fell apart. She shifted into a wolf and just disappeared for months after leaving baby Rumi with the (remaining) mentors. When she came back, the mentors sat her down and told her that she had a responsibility to a baby now and she couldn't just shift into a wolf and run away from her problems anymore.

"No more shifting, no more running away, Celine-ya," Eunji said.

And Celine had agreed.

So there really had been no point in telling Rumi (and Mira and Zoey); she wasn't planning on shifting again. They had no reason to be told something that would only scare them.

After the Idol Awards, Celine feels like the worst person in the world so she shifts into the worst version of herself -- a giant, monsterous half-wolf, half-human creature with none of the good qualities of either side of her.

When the girls come up to the hanok to speak with Celine, because Celine hasn't responded to any of their texts or calls, they see Eunji-nim outside, with a giant butcher knife, cleaning a whole sheep.

"Grandmother?" Rumi asks, tilting her head.

The last surviving mentor spent most of her time in her villa, in a community of equally old retirees. And rarely came out this far. It was usually her and Celine visiting Eunji-nim.

"Oh, did Celine-ya finally come to her senses and let you three know she's alive?"

When the three of them shake their heads, Eunji sighs.

"That girl has always been so dramatic," she says. "Ever since she crawled out of the woods and we took her in --"

"Wait what?" Zoey asks.

"Crawled out of the woods?" Rumi looks confused.

Eunji comes to the hanok when she sees the aftermath of the Idol Awards (that Huntrix had apparently broken up briefly and that the CEO of Sunlight Entertainment, Kang Celine, will not be making any public statements).

She knows that when it comes to overwhelming life events, Celine hides inside of her wolf self and will not come out until her heart has calmed. So does not surprise her that she arrives to the hanok and finds that a wild animal has torn it apart. Nor does she find it disconcerting to hear anguished howls outside in the middle of the night.

It was times like this she missed Hana the most. Their youngest always had a special bond with the pup they'd taken in and when she'd died, their pup had acted like she'd lost her mother.

Hana could get Celine to transform back just by calling her name. She certainly would not need to find a sheep to butcher and grill and hope the smell lured the pup close enough to her that she could talk some sense into her.

When her grandchildren -- true, they shared no blood but they shared a duty and a history and that made them family -- arrived, she realized that Celine hadn't bothered to tell these hunters what she was. And had also neglected to tell Eunji what Rumi was.

"So Celine's a demon!?" They had yelled.

"A wolf spirit of a sort," Eunji said. "Never under the control of Gwi-ma like I assume your father must have been?"

The grilling meat had lured Celine close. But the moment she laid eyes on Rumi, she whined and lowered her head. And started to slink back into the forest.

Celine whined once more and pushed herself further into the darkness of the forest.

“Don’t approach her.” Eunji warned.

“Will she attack?”

“No, but she’s very scared right now and, honestly, depressed. You have to let her move on her own or she’ll run again.”

“She’s my moth—my mentor. I know how to talk to her.” Eunji fought the urge to narrow her eyes at Rumi’s glowing patterns. She had never seen demon patterns glow but it appeared as though they glowed based on the person’s emotions. Rumi’s anger vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, leaving her with the multicolored patterns she’d arrived with, “Celine? It’s okay. It’s me. Remember, Rumi?”

“Does she remember us?” Mira asked.

The exchange echoed in her mind on a constant loop.

“Why couldn’t you love me?”

“I DO!”

“ALL OF ME!”

The idea that those could be some of the last words they share scared Rumi to the core. She hadn’t been thinking. She had been so worked up, so distraught over everything, she hadn’t realized just how much of a blow those words - that accusation - would be.

“Rumi.”

Her gaze shot up, finding Mira’s. The dancer didn’t look much better than the rest of them, but as always she had a facade of cool strength and calm Rumi envied her for at times. Mira gave her a nod, adding, “You ok?”

Rumi wanted to lie. To brush it off with a quick “I’m fine” and continue to let her own negative emotions fester. But they had agreed not to keep things from each other, and lying now felt just as wrong as everything else about this situation. So she shook her head, and decided to tell the truth.

“I…I think I caused this,” she admitted quietly.

Everyone turned to her, quiet and patient. Somehow, she could even sense the pair of eyes in the woods lock onto her.

So I think after debute and before Miyeong died, Celine's favorite mentor -- her second mother, if she was being honest -- died. Her other two mentors had always been a little more leery of Celine shifting so she tried to limit it around them.

When Miyeong and Third died, Celine just fell apart. She shifted into a wolf and just disappeared for months after leaving baby Rumi with the (remaining) mentors. When she came back, the mentors sat her down and told her that she had a responsibility to a baby now and she couldn't just shift into a wolf and run away from her problems anymore.

"No more shifting, no more running away, Celine-ya," Eunji said.

And Celine had agreed.

So there really had been no point in telling Rumi (and Mira and Zoey); she wasn't planning on shifting again. They had no reason to be told something that would only scare them.

After the Idol Awards, Celine feels like the worst person in the world so she shifts into the worst version of herself -- a giant, monsterous half-wolf, half-human creature with none of the good qualities of either side of her.

When the girls come up to the hanok to speak with Celine, because Celine hasn't responded to any of their texts or calls, they see Eunji-nim outside, with a giant butcher knife, cleaning a whole sheep.

"Grandmother?" Rumi asks, tilting her head.

The last surviving mentor spent most of her time in her villa, in a community of equally old retirees. And rarely came out this far. It was usually her and Celine visiting Eunji-nim.

"Oh, did Celine-ya finally come to her senses and let you three know she's alive?"

When the three of them shake their heads, Eunji sighs.

"That girl has always been so dramatic," she says. "Ever since she crawled out of the woods and we took her in --"

"Wait what?" Zoey asks.

"Crawled out of the woods?" Rumi looks confused.

Eunji tried, but Celine didn't share quite the same level of connection needed for this to work. The wolf/human hybrid form she's in is too strong. There are too many negative emotions trapping her for Eunji's words to reach her. There is enough there, at least, that hearing her name spoken in Eunji's voice kept the wolf from tearing her apart. Much like a wild wolf recognizing the human who rehabilitated it as a pup.

Mira and Zoey try, and there is more recognition. The wolf went from actively trying to eat them to confused and worried mother dog. Who are these children? Why are they out here in the woods? Don't they know there are hunters out here?

tf did they put in these tonics

Celine: Who threw her?!??

Demons:

Demon: Me?

Celine: Buddy, you just made my list.

Demon: What list?

Needless to say she isn’t happy about this.

I love how everyone has decided Celine is the stereotypical dad who Ignor their own issues till it almost kills them 😆.

Celine is the dad who ignores her own chronic health issues until it almost kills her and she is also the farmer that used masking tape to wrap up broken fingers before getting back to work 😔

Celine is told that she has to "take things easy" and "maybe think about some time off" for "her health."

(What the doctor had actually said was, "Kang-nim, I have seen better numbers from hostages and prisoners. Please take better care of yourself.")

And she is grumbling the entire time about it until Rumi hits her with, "Do you not want to see me grow up?"

"Rumi, what are you talking about?"

Rumi shrugs and looks away.

"Well, the doctor basically said you were going to die if you didn't take time off," Rumi says. "I just thought maybe you'd want to, I don't know, see me grow old first? Maybe get married, have kids?"

"Of course I want to see that."

Rece ptionist: Oh Kang-nim! What a surprise! What can we do for you.

Celine: Yes, I…I was constructing a new fence and I noticed my back was starting to hurt.

Receptionist: Ah. I see. Did Rumi-nim ask you to come in?

Celine: No I… Thought it best I come in on my own.

Receptionist, sweating: …and…how much would you say your back hurts? On a scale of 1-10.

Celine, wincing from pain: I’m here, aren’t I?

Receptionist, to nurse: Get a room ready. Now.

Receptionist, to Celine: And did you manage to get the fence done before coming over?

Celine: No, I did not.

This is in part because Celine herself had a severe eating disorder as a younger person, and while she’s recovered to the point where she understands that what was happening with her and the other Sunlight Sisters was Not Okay and she really really wants to make sure that it never happens with her girls, she… has some weird ideas about what food is Okay and Healthy and Safe for her especially and about how to get people to eat in general

Which is why Rumi is the most chill around food but also does just kinda treat it as a necessity sometimes. She heard “food is fuel and you should give your body what it needs” constantly growing up, and so like she doesn’t do messed up “food as reward” or “food as overindulgence” viewpoints really but

She will just get disconnected from her body and forget to take care of it. Or sometimes, eventually, lowkey avoid taking caring of it. Because fuck it, she’s not a machine, she doesn’t need to be in perfect shape, why not go on an insane spiral and do something that sucks the whole way down instead?

For Zoey, it’s not the “what is having a body” autism as much (though that does happen to her), but the “I have sensory issues and food is An Experience” autism

Of course, it’s not like she can say that she doesn’t like mushrooms or that the texture of rice turns into something Evil the moment it’s even a little overcooked or she just finds lentils really very unpleasant. She can’t be picky and cause problems and make someone make a special meal just for her

(Her parents had a tendency to lash out. Maybe. Just a little. It’s fine! She’s not going to be a problem! It’s fine!)

Getting Zoey to express an opinion about food is a level four friendship achievement

Mira, meanwhile, grew up in the dance world, and so that came with a lot of bodyshaming—both from her teachers (too tall, anyone with an ounce of fat on them was fat (derogatory)) and from her family (too muscular, not feminine enough, etc)—and a lot of pushes towards restricting how much she ate and what foods were acceptable

Celine likely developed a lot of unhealthy eating habits for herself, but I imagine didn't apply those same things to Rumi, especially as Rumi was growing up. Before it became apparent that Rumi was going to be an idol, I think all Celine cared about was that she was eating healthy. And they've already got a leg up on that because they can grow most of their own fruits and veggies. There was probably a period of time in Rumi's life where "Cece I'm hungry" was answered with "The mandarins on the tree out back should be ripe by now".

And I can see that helping Celine's view on eating, somewhat. It gives a bit of control back to her. It's not just that she's eating "healthy" things like vegetables and fruit, but it's food she grew. She knows it's ok because she watched it develop from a seed. She was there for every step of the process, from the initial planting all the way up to the cooking or canning, depending on what she's doing with it. And the act of cooking - mostly for Rumi at the start - opened up the ability to see food in a different light. She started with the Most Healthy options: a lot of veggie or vegan dishes, ones touted as "the best for you and your kids" with a lot of organic ingredients and nutritional information. But slowly, very slowly, she starts to learn that it's ok experiment. Try new things. Indulge a little. Food is fuel, but it could be good fuel and she's always wanted to learn how to cook the abalone she always sees at markets.

It helps Zoey, as cooking means certain ingredients can be omitted or modified to suit her needs. And it's never a problem because it's a new way to try something. Celine keeps a recipe book of her own, one almost as messy as Zoey's notebooks thanks to all the notes about modifications and experiments. And the idea of cooking to take some control back is something she passes on to Mira. Celine recognizes similar patterns, though thankfully not nearly as ingrained in the teen...Yet. Thankfully Mira got out of there before it could get worse. Whenever Mira starts to get that "I'm hungry but it's not dinner yet and I don't need to eat right now" look Celine calls Rumi over. "Go show Mira the mandarin tree."

(As the child of an Almond Mom TM, my experiences were the opposite: getting access to chips? Cookies? White bread? Sugary cereal? Sugary anything? My siblings and I went wild for it)

Picturing baby Rumi staying over at a friend’s house shortly after starting school and having snack with them,,,,, losing her mind over a bag of Doritos. The kid’s mom has to call Celine because Rumi is crying. They don’t do a lot of playdates after that

I also like to hc that Celine taught Mira and Zoey and Rumi to cook!! It feels very right to me that she would’ve wanted to make sure they could take care of themselves as much as possible, and that they knew enough about food and nutrition that they wouldn’t start listening to diet culture bullshit and forget about how much energy demon hunting takes

And it's stuff like that she teaches them. A lot of it ends up under the guise of "as Hunters you need to be prepared for anything, and if there's a demon apocalypse you should know how to make noodles". I'm actually picturing training excursions where she dragged them out into the woods to make campfire dinners or something. (Along with some good foraging/fishing lessons as well). Because as long as there's justification for it, then they're allowed to do it.

This is in part because Celine herself had a severe eating disorder as a younger person, and while she’s recovered to the point where she understands that what was happening with her and the other Sunlight Sisters was Not Okay and she really really wants to make sure that it never happens with her girls, she… has some weird ideas about what food is Okay and Healthy and Safe for her especially and about how to get people to eat in general

Which is why Rumi is the most chill around food but also does just kinda treat it as a necessity sometimes. She heard “food is fuel and you should give your body what it needs” constantly growing up, and so like she doesn’t do messed up “food as reward” or “food as overindulgence” viewpoints really but

She will just get disconnected from her body and forget to take care of it. Or sometimes, eventually, lowkey avoid taking caring of it. Because fuck it, she’s not a machine, she doesn’t need to be in perfect shape, why not go on an insane spiral and do something that sucks the whole way down instead?

For Zoey, it’s not the “what is having a body” autism as much (though that does happen to her), but the “I have sensory issues and food is An Experience” autism

Of course, it’s not like she can say that she doesn’t like mushrooms or that the texture of rice turns into something Evil the moment it’s even a little overcooked or she just finds lentils really very unpleasant. She can’t be picky and cause problems and make someone make a special meal just for her

(Her parents had a tendency to lash out. Maybe. Just a little. It’s fine! She’s not going to be a problem! It’s fine!)

Getting Zoey to express an opinion about food is a level four friendship achievement

Mira, meanwhile, grew up in the dance world, and so that came with a lot of bodyshaming—both from her teachers (too tall, anyone with an ounce of fat on them was fat (derogatory)) and from her family (too muscular, not feminine enough, etc)—and a lot of pushes towards restricting how much she ate and what foods were acceptable

Celine likely developed a lot of unhealthy eating habits for herself, but I imagine didn't apply those same things to Rumi, especially as Rumi was growing up. Before it became apparent that Rumi was going to be an idol, I think all Celine cared about was that she was eating healthy. And they've already got a leg up on that because they can grow most of their own fruits and veggies. There was probably a period of time in Rumi's life where "Cece I'm hungry" was answered with "The mandarins on the tree out back should be ripe by now".

And I can see that helping Celine's view on eating, somewhat. It gives a bit of control back to her. It's not just that she's eating "healthy" things like vegetables and fruit, but it's food she grew. She knows it's ok because she watched it develop from a seed. She was there for every step of the process, from the initial planting all the way up to the cooking or canning, depending on what she's doing with it. And the act of cooking - mostly for Rumi at the start - opened up the ability to see food in a different light. She started with the Most Healthy options: a lot of veggie or vegan dishes, ones touted as "the best for you and your kids" with a lot of organic ingredients and nutritional information. But slowly, very slowly, she starts to learn that it's ok experiment. Try new things. Indulge a little. Food is fuel, but it could be good fuel and she's always wanted to learn how to cook the abalone she always sees at markets.

It helps Zoey, as cooking means certain ingredients can be omitted or modified to suit her needs. And it's never a problem because it's a new way to try something. Celine keeps a recipe book of her own, one almost as messy as Zoey's notebooks thanks to all the notes about modifications and experiments. And the idea of cooking to take some control back is something she passes on to Mira. Celine recognizes similar patterns, though thankfully not nearly as ingrained in the teen...Yet. Thankfully Mira got out of there before it could get worse. Whenever Mira starts to get that "I'm hungry but it's not dinner yet and I don't need to eat right now" look Celine calls Rumi over. "Go show Mira the mandarin tree."