By God(s) I Will Single Handedly Sail This Ship If I Must

This is a bit too big to fit in a post, but I’ve finished up one of the piece I was working on:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17244146

Loki doesn’t really understand modern Christmas or it’s religious associations. In Asgard, the holiday is still the pagan winter it’s-dark-so-let’s-get-drunk party but he wasn’t fond of that party anyways so he’s willing to play along.

Tony hates the whole holiday season, but he tries to pretend that he doesn’t. He hates being a downer, but the whole holiday is filled with galas he doesn’t want to attend, people he has to be nice to, and bad memories all thrown together. His mom had died only a handful of days from Christmas (his dad too, but that was a bonus), and it still hurt to remember. Still, he puts on a very fake smile and acts really excited so he doesn’t ruin it for everyone else. 

Stephen is the only one of the three who actually really likes the holidays. He’s had good Christmas experiences so it’s really important to him. He also celebrates the Winter Solstice with Wong, and the two of them usually set that day aside for just them to spend some time together. 

Loki and Stephen would both pickup on Tony’s discomfort quickly, and they would do everything they could to help out. Distract him at galas, drive away people so Tony doesn’t have to deal with them, spend a quiet day with him on December 16th. The month would still be hard on him, but it’s not as bad when he has people on his side. 

Christmas day would come around, all the avengers would be safe in the tower. Rhodey is on leave, Pepper shuts off her phone for the day, Peter and May have both come to the tower for Christmas. Wong’s there too, getting photos of everything. Giant soft ugly Christmas sweaters are mandated, and of course Tony’s is extra giant on him giving him sweater paws and a turtle neck to hide in. 

Everyone does gifts in the morning, followed by games and movies. Stephen is loving all of it and Loki has put himself onto watching Tony for when he gets overwhelmed. When he does, Loki is quick to whisk the both of them away for a break. 

It’s snowing outside, and both of Tony’s boyfriends have sworn they have nothing to do with the turn in the weather, but Tony knows them too well for that. At one point, when he’s getting overstimulated, Loki pulls him and Stephen away into a quiet room with a balcony. It’s just chilly enough to justify burrowing into his sweater and both his partners are more then happy to to tuck Tony between them to warm up. The snow is muffling the quiet sounds of the city below, the gray clouds are covering the sky and when Tony closes his eyes he can’t help but feel happy and safe. It’s the first time he’s had a happy christmas in a long time.

Frostironstrange Loki x Stephen Strange x Tony Stark,

Scars are so easily to hide and so hard to show.

It took five years before he was ready to show them.

That wasn’t too long by Asgardian terms, but more and more Loki found himself living on a Midgardian time scale. In Asgard, if a meeting took a few weeks to resolve that was fine and normal. Now that same amount of time felt long, it made him antsy. So he only waited five years before he let down his glamour. Not the one that hid his Jotun form, that would be a much longer and harder journey. Instead, Loki lowered the glamour that hid his scars. On Asgard, scars were normally marks to be proud of, signaling battles won and lost. Loki scars were marks of shame and dishonor.

Stephen touched his wrists first. Seeing the marks red and worn, looking up at him with such a sad expression and knowing that they were from more than one occasion. Tony saw his lips and for a moment couldn’t hide his horror. It make Loki’s stomach twist, his eyes fall, but a kiss quickly brought him back before he could spiral. A thumb touched his lower lip, he didn’t know whose. It was a question, how could it be anything with marks so straight and orderly. Odin had never had much talent for sewing, but he made sure Loki’s lips had been sealed.

“Did Thor know?” There was so much rage behind that question. So much anger. Loki was pretty sure if he said yes Tony might actually go try and kill his brother.

“No. He was away at the time. I was forbidden from speaking of it afterwards, and it wasn’t like he would've believed me anyways.” Tears were coming to Loki’s eyes unbidden, though he could not understand where they came from. “It was a long time a-ago. I moved on. It’s fine.” He’d been telling that lie for many years that he had almost forgotten that it was a lie in the first place. Green eyes moved up to meet the horrified expressions and it was all too much.

He hadn’t cried as his lips were sewn shut, he hadn’t cried when venom was dripped into his eyes for a year. He hadn’t cried when Odin had carved runes into his skin to bind him or when he’d been left to hang from too tight chains for years and years. Not a tear had been shed when he was barely four and had been hit for the first time, nor the first time he’d been thrown up against a wall at five. He hadn’t cried at all through all the horrors of his life. Maybe he’d learned tears were worthless earlier then he could recall. Or perhaps it was that tears were for ridding the brain of overabundance of emotion and Loki had simply elected to be dead inside instead.

Here though, with Tony moving to wrap him up in a hug and Stephen carefully rubbing at long forgotten wounds, Loki cried. He felt the pain of love he’d never had, approval he’d spent too long seeking, and hatred that he couldn’t understand. Surrounded by love, he finally let himself sob until his very past was leaking from his eyes.

It would be another year before he could talk to them about his birth parents. Two more months before he would let the glamour down around the other avengers. Six more months until he would finally talk to Thor and let his brother see the scars that were left on him from the parts of his childhood that his brother had been shielded from.

Hey guys! A few things,

Finals are done! So I’m free to finish up some stories, expect a flood shortly.

N/sfw content/prompts: Since tumblr is being dumb, two things will be happening 1) you can still send in n/sfw prompts. I will just not answer them on this blog. Instead those will only be posted to my A03. I will also be hopefully starting a pillowfort.io for cross posting in a week or so, so that I can still do headcanon lists without worrying.

General content: I’ve got quite a few stories in the works, some shorter prompts but also a longer series I’ve been working on for quite awhile! I’m hoping to release the first chapter of that on Saturday once I’ve finished writing through chapter four. 

Other: Prompts are still open, and I am working on the ones in my inbox currently.

Frostironstrange, Tony Stark x Loki x Stephen Strange. 

Tony was usually in charge of handling the press. Steve tried, but reporters had changed so much from back in his day that it was hard. Besides, Tony was used to anger and hatred, and Steve was used to being a showgirl.

Stephen flat out refused to go near the press. Fury had tried to make him answer questions exactly once, which ended poorly enough to prevent any future efforts. Though honestly, Tony was pretty sure if he offered enough kisses as bribes, or tried the puppy dog eyes on Stephen then he might relent. Still though, Tony didn’t mind dealing with the press. Or, okay, it sucked ass but he was used to it. 

Then there was the Loki problem. Since Loki had been freed from the mind control he was under and joined up with the avengers, he hadn’t been out in the public eye much. The excuses had ranged from fear of a regression to Loki still recuperating mentally, and it was starting to wear thin. The public wasn’t ready to accept that Loki had been acting under another, and no appearances from him didn’t help that image.

Finally, there was no getting it out of it. Tony asked Loki, who agreed quite easily to Tony’s surprise. All that was left was to schedule the conference, give Loki over to Pepper and the PR team for training, and then wait.

When the day finally came, Loki was fine. He gave both Stephen and Tony each a kiss, told them not to worry with a roll of his eyes, and marched straight out onto the stage to take his place at the podium. The press didn’t wait a second, questions being shouted and hands going up. 

Loki picked a auburn haired reporter near the front. It almost gave Tony a heart attack, because he knew that guy and he was not meant to be there. Supposedly, that man was banned from any official press conferences due to wildly invasive questions. But there was nothing Tony could do now. 

“Do you think your genocidal tendencies stem from your childhood?” It was asked with a sneer. The rest of the conference went quiet, knowing a line had been crossed. 

For a moment, Loki just regarded the man, still ever so confident. Tony was ready to go in for a fight, but Natasha held him back. He would have pushed her off, but Loki replied before he could.

“Oh I’m sure on some level they’re related. I did eat too much Zinc as a child. Really, I’m not sure how my family didn’t see this coming.”

The room was stunned. Auburn-haired asshole was knocked right off his feet, unsure of how to reply. His sneer was gone and replaced with a look of bafflement.

“I’m sorry, Zinc?”

“Yes. Just far too much of it from my dietary choices. I’d prefer not to discuss it further, its quite a traumatic subject.” 

Clint lost it. Luckily they were far enough away that it couldn’t be heard, but Loki’s straight face sold the whole thing perfectly. 

For the rest of the conference, the reporters were more well-behaved then Tony had ever seen them. The media cycle actually largely dismissed the Zinc thing as a joke (zinc free diets became fad for about 10 minutes, but nothing much beyond that). 

Frostironstrange, Tony Stark x Loki x Stephen Strange. In which I make the worst or best soulmate AU possible. He/him Loki for this one.

Instead of your lover’s name on one wrist and your worst enemy’s name on the other, people have their lover’s worst enemy’s names one their wrists. The mark also changes color when they touch their soulmate for the first time. 

In one universe, Stephen has Obadiah Stark written on one wrist and Thanos on the other. He knows the first before his mark changes color. He’s read the stories. The files kept locked away by SHIELD. The second takes him by surprise, but there’s no mistaking the color change when Loki tried to put a knife through him but froze in shock instead.

In another universe, Stephen has Howard Stark and Odin written on his wrists. The first one is the surprise this time. By the second one, he’s figured out the theme. When he meets Loki for the first time he takes his hand ever so gently. In this universe he’s also almost stabbed before Loki figures it out. Oh well.

I’d say sorry for making you read that, but hey I put warnings on it for a reason! 

Frostironstrange Tony Stark x Loki x Stephen Strange Coffee Shop AU. Why? Because every ship is legally required to have one.

Stephen works at the campus starbucks to help pay for his medical degree. He’s mostly got scholarship, but you need money to live off too. 

Tony is the most frequent customer and has actually caused Stephen to asked his boss if he can deny a customer coffee for their own safety. 

Wong is Stephen’s co-worker and he spends about 50% of his shift making fun of Stephen’s crushes, as best friends do. 

Loki also stops by daily, he gets a fancy drink and hate-flirts with Stephen. They know each other from Stephen’s undergrad classes.

Loki is getting a law degree, Tony is getting his masters in electrical engineering and mathematics simultaneously. Tony does not sleep. 

Honestly Stephen isn’t really convinced Loki sleeps either, but like, more in a “that guy might be a vampire” sort of way.

Sometimes, Loki stops by with Thor dogging behind him and he’s always super exhausted with his brother. Stephen puts extra whipped cream in his drink on those days and makes a smiley face out of the chocolate sauce. 

Tony is often dragging some friend or another behind him. Stephen knows almost all of them by name and their drink orders. 

Sometimes Tony comes in sad, and Stephen never really knows what about, but once he asked and Tony just said “Oh you know, dad came into town, and nevermind you don’t want to hear about that. Did you see...” and Stephen connected the dots on his own.

When Tony comes in sad, Stephen adds whipped cream (once he had checked with Tony that he didn’t have an allergy) to his drink even if Tony didn’t order it. Tony never orders anything sugary, not because he doesn’t like sugary drinks but because he thinks he shouldn’t. It makes his day when Stephen does it. 

Tony and Loki often meet by chance in the coffee shop and Loki is in Tony’s friend circle. They’ll sit together and sass Stephen together when he’s on break.

One day, Loki storms in in a nasty mood, and Stephen’s about to sass him when someone storms in after Loki. It’s Odin and he’s just yelling at Loki in the middle of the coffee shop. Stephen is horrified, and after a minute of Loki trying to ignore Odin and just order his coffee, and Odin shouting awful stuff and reveling personal info about Loki, Stephen hops the counter and basically tells Odin to GTFO or he’s calling the cops. Odin says “go ahead” because he’s got half the cities’ cops in his pocket. 

Tony, whose also there and halfway to a panic attack himself, calls Rodney (an experienced cop), and Clint and Natasha (military). Rodney shows up quickly all while Stephen is just absolutely about to throw down with Odin. Tony has managed to recover enough to help Loki get to the backroom. Wong has caught the whole thing on camera. Rodney arrests Odin, with some help from Clint and Natasha when Odin tries to hit him. 

It’s a rough day all around, but in the end, Stephen still gets Loki his coffee. Loki takes it home with him, and it’s only there he realizes that both Stephen and Tony left their phone numbers on it for him. 

 Well Anon, I’m not the biggest fan of A/B/O dynamics, but goddamn if I don’t aim to please. Also every ship needs at least one shitty abo porn story with majorly problematic dynamics, so for this prompt I did one really bad story, and one with my best take on the dynamics which was heavily inspired by my favorite pack dynamics AU. Be warned, the second link is porn. So without further ado:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16587347

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16587323

I’ve got a very soft place in my heart for dance AUs. So some FrostIronStrange dance AU. He/Him Loki again. In which Tony can dance and Stephen can’t (yet). In all honesty, this started as a headcanon list, but ended up with so many scenes written out, that I just. adapted it into a fic format. That’s why it’s a bit wonky. 

Also, join the Frostironstrange Discord if you want me to drown you with my headcanons constantly!

Loki had gotten into dancing to piss off Odin. He finished his law degree and then completely ignored it in favor of dancing. Now he dances just because he loves it, loves dancing on his own or with a partner, loves the elegance and energy, loves being able to hold a room. In the past, he’s danced for theaters from time to time, as well as in movies when they needed body doubles. Ballet when Bucky was out and Natasha needed a partner. Odin still hates that he made an actual career out of dancing, but Thor had come around to it once he saw how happy it made Loki. These days though, he mostly teaches, and though he’s in pretty high demand as a private teacher he always makes sure to hold at least one public beginner class because he loves watching new dancers learn. 

Tony and Stephen were looking for a new couples activity to try that wouldn’t aggravate Stephen’s hands. Cooking hadn’t gone well, sharp knives and shaky hands. Gardening was also too much. Neither of them liked language learning in a classroom setting, and neither of them were a big fan of wine. Still, both of them loved learning and they wanted to learn something together, so Natasha recommended dancing to them. Natasha worked as a ballet instructor at the same studio as Loki, so she recommended them to Loki’s Introductory Waltzing class. He fit them into the full class as a favor to her.

So they go to class once a week. It’s pretty basic stuff, and Tony picks it up quickly. 

Stephen does not.

Stephen is the stiffest person Loki has met in his life.

Stephen, Jesus Christ, just move your hips even the tiniest bit.

But Loki and Tony get along well, and Loki loves teaching Tony because he picks it up so quickly. He has such a good natural rhythm, when Loki and Tony dance together the whole classroom watches. Tony even gets to start on some more challenging steps. Stephen on the other hand, is Loki’s greatest challenge.

Finally, they’re getting towards the end of classes and Stephen is getting really frustrated mostly with himself but a bit with Loki, Loki invites them to do private lessons with him instead, because it’s the last thing he can think of to try.

These private lessons end up a little different then Tony or Stephen were expecting. Loki’s figured out by this point, that between his accident and struggling to perform tasks at work, Stephen has all but lost the ability to relax. Since dancing became a stress source for him, it’s made it way too hard for him to just calm down. But he doesn’t want to give up on it because he sees it as a challenge. So Loki is doing everything he can to get Stephen to just relax and move. Tony catches onto the plan and helps as best as he can. 

Things are getting better slowly, but too slowly for Loki’s liking and he can tell Stephen is starting to get frustrated again. Up until this point, it’s been Tony and Stephen dancing as a couple, with Tony sometimes dancing with Loki to learn the more complicated moves or when Stephen didn’t feel up to it. Loki pulls Tony aside after their fourth lesson and clears an idea with him. 

They get there for their fifth lesson and Tony just heads straight to the couch. Stephen’s confused, but Loki just turns on the music and gently takes Stephen by the hand. He slowly leads him through some easy moves with a softer voice then normal while Stephen’s trying to get his barrings. The change throws him off guard just enough that it helps him shake off the “I can’t” mindset he had before. Tony’s watching the both of them with adoring eyes, so happy to see Stephen finally getting the hang of it. The music is soft, the lighting is low and everything about the situation is as cozy as it can be. 

That’s how they spend that whole lesson, with Stephen slowly getting better and better. It’s the first time he’s relaxed in a long time. Loki realizes that a big part of it is also that Stephen was afraid of messing up with Tony and hurting him. He’s not really worried about that with Loki since Loki is the expert in this situation. They actually end up going over their scheduled time by quite a bit since they both get so lost in it. Tony can absolutely see what’s happen, and it just makes him grin because he’s danced with Loki too and he’s felt the same thing Stephen’s going through. Loki just has a way of pulling his partner in and honestly at this point Tony’s been crushing on him for two months. 

The lesson finally ends when Bucky pokes his head in and tells them they need to close up. Loki flushes and apologizes and Stephen does too, and Tony just thinks they’re both adorable. Bucky and Natasha spends the rest of the evening teasing Loki. 

Stephen and Tony go home that night, Stephen’s in a relaxed mindset he hasn’t had in ages, and when they get home Tony coaxes him into dancing with him. It’s soft and sweet, and Stephen’s a little worried at the start, but he’s got more confidence now and before long they’re waltzing around their living room together. 

At the end of the song Tony leans in and kisses Stephen. It’s so soft and sweet that they just have to lean against each other for a minute or two. Soft city noises in the background now that the song has faded out, the only lighting in the apartment is from the streetlamps and stars. 

Tony can almost feel the gears whirring in Stephen’s head after the moment passes, and so he pulls him to bed to lay and cuddle.  

“Tony I think I might-”

 “Have a crush on our dance instructor? Yes, Love, we both do.” 

“… How long have you known for?” 

“Long before you did. You were too busy getting upset with yourself to notice.” 

“So what do we do about it?” 

“Well my current plan was wait for you to figure it out, then have a discussion with you to make sure you were cool with everything going on, then see about asking him out. So we’re on step two right now.”

They end up deciding to ask Loki out after their next lesson. 

Meanwhile, Loki has gotten smashingly drunk off Russian vodka with Natasha and Bucky, since someone just realized He Got The Feelings and dear god he did not want to be this cliche but he IS. 

He’s just rambling at them for an hour, “-but Stephen’s hands are so gentle??? and Tony has this thing that he does with his hips that I never taught him and it’s ART.” 

Natasha and Bucky just quietly pat him on the shoulder, being nice and reassuring because Loki thinks this is a tragic love because the both of them are married to each other. Bucky saw how Stephen was lookin at Loki & how Tony was watching the two of them, and Natasha knows Stephen and Tony well enough to know this is 100% an option. 

Tony not so subtly asks Natasha a few questions about whether or not Loki is single when they’re all gathered at Steve’s apartment. Thor, a fairly new member of their group whose brought in because he’s dating Bruce, is like “??? Loki? A Dance Instructor? Tall with Black Hair? Looks like he should be in ballet?”

Tony’s confused, like “Yes??? Have you met him before?”

Thor “That’s my little brother.”

-insert ??? ???? meme here-

Natasha revels that she knew this the entire time, and then loudly says “But yes, Tony, to answer your question Loki is currently single.”

Thor’s eyes narrow. “I thought you were married to Doctor Stephen Strange.” 

So Tony has to quickly explain that no, he is not trying to cheat on Stephen and gives Thor the run down on the whole thing. Thor listens and gets it. He takes one long look over Tony, quieter then any of them have ever seen him. “If you hurt him, I will kill you. Our friendship aside, my sibling’s relationship history is already bad enough and I will not have you making it worse.” 

Natasha drops her head on her elbow. “That goes double for me. I like you Tony, and I like Stephen, but seriously, Loki does not need another bad relationship. He doesn’t need a one time fling or to be a way for you two to spice up your relationship.” Her tone was serious and it was enough to make Tony think for a long moment.

He talks with Stephen later, and they both confirm that they want something serious.

So come their next lesson, Loki is way more flustered then normal but trying to pretend everything’s okay. “Alright, so I think last time we finally got through to you Stephen, so why don’t you try with Tony this time?” 

“Actually, I think I’d like to dance with you again if that’s alright? I wanted to try leading this time.” Stephen was so polite as he held out his hand to Loki. Loki gave a look to Tony, not wanting the other to feel left out of his own dance lesson, but Tony just nodded with a soft smile.

Stephen and Loki start to dance, but it’s different from before. Now Stephen’s movements are confident, Loki’s are nervous. He misses a really basic step and ends up red faced and apologizing, saying he didn’t sleep well the night before. It’s okay though, Stephen doesn’t mind. It goes on like this for a little bit, until Loki’s settled into the rhythm of the song. 

The song slows down, Stephen is looking right at Loki and Loki has to look away because he can’t handle his gaze. He can feel Tony’s eyes on the two of them, but it doesn’t feel angry. Notes slow down and fade out, the song has ended now but the two of them are still swaying together. 

For a moment, Loki almost goes to change the disc out and play a new song, but he can’t bring himself to break the moment. He looks back up towards Stephen. 

Their eyes meet. Tony knows what’s coming next, and he gets up off the couch quietly. 

“Can I kiss you?” It made Loki freeze, Stephen’s voice was so soft. He could feel Stephen’s hands tense a little though. Loki realizes he’s preparing to let go in case he says no. But then he remembers Tony is in the room, and he likes Tony way too much to do that to him. Then again, Tony hasn’t said anything yet? 

“I certainly wouldn’t mind, but I think your husband might.” Loki responded, giving a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he moved to let go of Stephen. To put space between them so he didn’t just say yes. But there’s another person behind him. Not holding him there, just arms placed ever so loosely around his waist, wrapping around Stephen’s and making him reconsider moving.

“As long as I get a kiss from you too, I’m game.” It took Loki a minute to process what was going on, but once it hit him, the pieces started falling into place. Loki leaned back just a little bit, moving into Tony’s touch and pulling Stephen in with him. 

“Well I guess that’s your answer.” Loki said, his tone now flirty. But Stephen shook his head. 

“Do you want me to kiss you? Do you want Tony to kiss you?” He asked, the same question but not quite the same. Another puzzle piece for Loki. This wasn’t some moment of passion or one-time thing. This was planned, and neither of them were making a move unless he was sure. Loki gave it though, hips still swaying ever so slightly to music that wasn’t playing and yet Tony and Stephen were keeping time with.

It had been awhile. After a string of bad relationships, Loki had put the whole concept of romance on hold. He didn’t usually pick good people to date, he wasn’t good at being in a relationship, therapy had helped him figure out that he tried to emulate his relationship with his parents. But.

But Loki didn’t want to give up on love. Tony and Stephen were here, and for someone reason they were willing to give him a shot. So Loki met Stephen gaze, and gave him his answer. Tone firm, voice steady. Gaze even. 

There was a new kid in school today. They had soft black hair, and wore a green sweater with black pants. They were very pretty. And handsome. When Mr. Coulson had introduced them, he had said their name was Loki as they tried to hide behind his pant leg. Their soft green eyes had regarded the whole class with suspicion. Tony wanted very much to tell them everything was okay. He had already gotten in trouble for talking out of turn today though, so he just mumbled ‘hello Loki’ like everyone else.

Stephen had sat up really straight when Loki was introduced. He’d been interested, but he also said nothing. Tony always knew when his boyfriend had something to say because Tony paid attention just like his Momma taught him. He’d only been dating Stephen for three months now, but it felt like forever and he loved it. Stephen was smart, Stephen was pretty, Stephen was funny and Stephen even liked Tony back. Tony had wanted to marry him right away, but his dad had just laughed and said he had to wait until he was at least eighteen. That seemed like way, way too long a time to wait, but Tony would manage it for Stephen. He’d wait a million years for Stephen. 

At lunch time, Tony sat with Stephen and all their friends. The lunch room echoed a lot, and there were about two hundred children in there total. Usually Tony liked the loud din, but today he was worried about it. Loki had tucked themselves away in the quietest corner of the room. Their face was scrunched up, they were hardly picking at their food and they kept rubbing under their ears just like Bruce did when he was getting overstim-u-lated. Loki was sitting all alone too, but Tony was unsure that that was a bad thing since Thor had tried to sit with Loki already and been told to go away. Maybe Loki wanted to be alone because of the noise? It was a internal debate Tony had been having for the past eternity (or five minutes in adult time). In the end, the recess bell rung before he could make up his mind.

Now on the playground, it was currently a war zone. Tony’s group (”The Avengers!” Steve had yelled one day after Bruce had been picked on one too many times), didn’t let anyone pick on anyone else. Stupid Hydra liked to try though. Hydra even had dumb rules about who could pick on who, saying that boys could pick on boys, and girls could pick on girls or boys, but boys couldn’t pick on girls because they were “weaker”. It was the dumbest thing Tony had ever heard, and Steve had responded that nobody could pick anyone, but Hydra was strict about their rules. So now the playground had the two groups running around, getting into fights and avoiding the recess monitors. Clint was the lookout for the Avengers, sitting up in the highest tower to watch and whistle out bird calls to communicate. 

Today though, Tony didn’t need Clint’s bird calls to know exactly where Hydra would be heading first. It took all of two minutes for their whole group to have zeroed in on Loki. Red Skull was at the front of the pack, but as Tony slowed his pace to a walk he realized that they just looked... confused. Maybe a little angry from Red Skull’s clenched fists. 

Loki on the other hand was just reading their book, something that shouldn’t have bothered Hydra at all. It was probably the fact that Loki was reading their book a good thirty feet up in one of the pine trees that ringed the playground that was bothering them. Tony was wondering how the hell they got up there in the first place, so were the other Avengers who were slowly coming to a stop behind Tony. Huh. Well the recess monitors had never said they couldn’t climb the trees. 

“Loki!” Came a loud voice that made Loki put their book down and roll their eyes. Thor was running across the clearing and waving enthusiastically. He screeched to a halt in front of the tree, grinning up at the child in the tree. Hydra and the Avengers both waited to see where this would go. Thor was one of the older kids so he usually played elsewhere. 

“What do you want Thor? I’m trying to read!” Loki complained, gesturing to their book.

“Do you want to come play with me and Sif and Fandral and Hogon?” Thor didn’t seem put off by Loki’s attitude at all. 

“No, I’m tired today and I just want to read.” 

“Okay! ‘Member mom said to make friend though!” Thor was running off then, always in a hurry to get somewhere. That made some sense though, so Loki was Thor’s sibling then? They didn’t look a lot alike, but sometimes that happened. 

Hydra didn’t seem as willing to accept things. Just as Loki had turned back to their book, Red Skull had picked up a rock. Then looked at Loki. Then dropped the rock. Then turned to Amora, clearly looking for guidance. She huffed at them. Amora wasn’t really a Hydra kid, but she acted a lot like one. Today she seemed to be playing along because she picked up the rock that Red Skull had dropped and threw it at Loki. It bounced off their book and Loki let out a huff.

“What now?” 

Steve looked ready to go fight Red Skull, but Tony stuck out one stubby arm to hold him back. They had to wait till Red Skull actually did something and then Hydra couldn’t say they were starting fights for no reason. Stephen was ready to go get the recess monitor if they threw anymore rocks though. 

Amora raised her eyebrow at Red Skull, and after a moment he yelled a question at Loki.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” 

Loki looked down at Red Skull with disdain. It took a lot of effort for Tony to not roll his eyes and call Hydra dumb again. Why did they care about that? It was rude to ask too! Momma had said so! After a moment of staring up into the branches of the trees, Loki replied. 

“I’m neither today. Now go away. I’m trying to read.” 

“What do you mean neither!? You can’t be neither!” 

“Can too. Now shoo!” 

Red Skull stamped his foot, hands tightly balled into fists. “You have to be one or the other though, so that way we know what rules to follow!” 

Loki picked their book back up, clearly having lost interest in Red Skull. “Well, tough. I’m neither so I don’t have to follow any rules.” 

That was, apparently the wrong thing to say. Red Skull wasn’t very good with words or confusing situations, so his response was to grab another rock and through it at Loki. This time, aiming for their face. 

Tony dropped his arm, racing to stop Red Skull, which caused all the avengers to rush forward too. Stephen raced to get Ms. Potts who was on the other side of the playground. As it turns out, none of them needed to have bothered.

Loki caught the rock. They then twisted their wrist and threw it right back at Red Skull smacking him straight in the face. Their book was tucked under their arm, and then they pulled something shiny and metal from their pocket. A knife, but not like the ones Jarvis used when he was cooking. This was one of those knifes that were in Dad’s hunting room that Tony wasn’t allowed to touch. Loki scampered down the tree, using their knife as a hand hold. Red Skull had just recovered from the rock when he looked up to see Loki standing over him, knife held out, ready to attack him. All the sudden, it seemed like nobody was interested in being with Hydra anymore. Tony was wondering if Steve was gonna hafta fight Loki now. Probably not, Ms. Potts was almost here anyways.

Loki glared down at Red Skull, their eyes narrow and teeth bared. They looked like a wolf. 

“You ever try that again and next time it won’t be the rock I throw at you. Understand?” They growled, and Red Skull nodded fervently. 

For a moment, everyone held their breath, but then Loki decided that was good enough and lowered their knife. Tony let out a sigh of relief, glad it was all over. 

“Stephen, slow down, you know you aren’t supposed to ru- IS THAT A KNIFE.”

Oh. Ms. Potts was here. 

Loki sighed, looking up to the sky and looking forty years older then they actually were. 

In the end, Loki didn’t get in trouble because their dad had given them the knife. Apparently Thor had one too, but he’d never pulled it out before. Their dad didn’t see what the issue was. 

(The voices carried from inside the principal’s office where Mr. Fury was talking to Loki’s dad. Natasha had snuck Tony past Ms. Potts so they could listen in. 

”Mr. Odin, I understand that the knife was for self-defense but Loki is six years old.”

“And? I got my first knife at half their age! It’s an important part of a child’s education.”

“What if they had decided to stab Mr. Schmidt today?”

“Then Mr. Schmidt would have learned a very important lesson about respecting other people. Need I remind you that he threw a rock at my child first?”)

It was an hour before the fight was resolved, and they had to sneak back before it was over so Mr. Coulson wouldn’t notice they were gone, but it was good that Loki’s dad was on their side. Loki got out just before it was time to go home for the day, so Tony didn’t get to talk to them at all. But Steve was able to talk to Thor and find out that Loki wasn’t going to get in trouble. They just weren’t allowed to bring their knives anymore. 

That night, Stephen was staying over. (Tony got to have one sleep over a week, and while usually he had several friends over, he always picked one week a month to just be for him and his Boyfriend. Momma called it their date night and teased him about it while they made cookies together, and Dad always took Tony to a flor-ist (”Floor-ist, not flur-ish kiddo.”) to get flowers because flowers were also important for dating. They had a ton of fun together, Tony gave Stephen his flowers, they ate too many cookies, and they stayed up way too late even after all lights were out.  Tonight, Stephen had something important to talk about. The two were curled up together, and Tony could feel the question before Stephen even asked it.

“Tony, do you think Loki is a nice person?” 

That took a moment worth of thought. 

“Yeah. They’re scary but they’re nice. Or at least not mean, for sure! Red Skull was just being a bully.”

Stephen sighed happily. “Okay. That’s good. My mama said you shouldn’t have a crush on someone if they’re mean.” 

Oh. 

“You have a crush on Loki?” Tony was a little worried, his arms wrapping around Stephen a little tighter. Stephen blinked up at him before grinning.

“I do! But don’t worry, I still love you too!” Then he leaned up and gave Tony a kiss on the nose that made everything feel a lot better. Now that he didn’t have to worry, Tony considered Loki honestly for a moment. 

“...They are really pretty. I guess I might have a bit of a crush on them too.” Tony mumbled, unsure now. He’d never had a crush on two people before. He looked down at Stephen for help. Stephen was good at crushes! He’d figured out that Tony had a crush on him before Tony did!

Stephen just gave Tony a big grin. “I asked my mama what to do if you liked two people before I came over. She said that you gotta ask permission and make sure both people knows about the other one, but that it’s just the same as when you like one person! You can even have all three dating together.” There was a pause, and his voice turned serious. “But you do gotta ask everyone for permission, otherwise it’s cheating! And she said it’s even worse to cheat on people then cheating on a video game or on a test! If someone says no, you gotta listen to, just like with everything else.”

Huh. That didn’t sound so hard. Tony looked at Stephen for a moment, thinking things over. “Okay. So I say yes. Do you say yes?” Suddenly he was very nervous, even though that was silly since Stephen had brought it up.

“Of course! Now we just gotta ask Loki tomorrow.” 

The two stayed up well into the morning plotting their attempt. When Maria found them, fast asleep on a piece of paper with crayon scribbles all over it titled “The Plan To Asc Ask Loki Out <3 <3 <3″ she stole a quick photo before going to fetch Howard so he could see. Howard gave a quiet laugh and went to go give Odin a call so he’d have a heads up for whatever happened at school that day. 

In the end, it wasn’t as smooth as either Tony or Stephen planned, with no less then two fires occurring that day (Howard should’ve looked at that plan a little closer). But they got a yes! Loki said he (and they were a he that day, apperently they often changed which gen-der they were) thought that Stephen and Tony were cute and that he’d protect them! One month later, Tony was planning his very first sleepover with his boyfriend and his partner (a word Thor had taught him when giving him the Very Important Shovel Talk although neither of them knew why the adults kept calling it that when it wasn’t about shovels at all). Tony had heard a lot of adults at the last PTA meeting mutter about things, things like “they’ll grow out of it” or “don’t see why that should be allowed at school” or “against god” but Tony didn’t really care. When he’d asked his Momma about it, she’d just said that sometimes people like Red Skull never really grew up and still tried to pick on other people. So he should just ignore them, just like he did with Hydra at school!

A set of headcanons for if Loki, Tony and Stephen were all gods instead of just one of them.

Tony would be a god who originally didn’t really care about mortals, until one day he ended up trapped and tortured as one (Afghanistan). After that he would be one of the most dedicated to fighting and improving their lives. He often gets in conflicts with the others gods over it. He’s the god of advancement though, so they usually have to get on board with his plans or life in the dark ages. 

Loki is the god of chaos, but everyone convinced he’s the god of mischief. People see him as a prankster and annoyance but not really a serious threat.  Children are usually his main followers, along with the more clever Trickesters, Silvertounges and the few mortals who read through long forgotten texts and discover the truth. Very specifically, Loki has never claimed to be the god of mischief (or not the god of chaos) but has never discouraged the idea. 

Stephen was once the god of healing, but after pissing off a set of other gods for refusing to favor sides in war, he was forced/tricked into changing roles and becoming the god of knowledge/learning (then considered a rather worthless role by war hungry gods). Shortly thereafter, the other gods learned that this was a very poor choice. 

The three of them are each in a different Sect, with each Sect interacting but day to day not having much to do with one another. Until a fight starts over an object. The object is basically impossible to access, even by the gods, but everyone wants the rights to try and get it. Several very powerful gods try to get it and are seriously injured. 

Gods form all sects start picking sides in the fight. Tony and Stephen end up on the same side and grow close as things are gearing up. Loki meets the two of them, but does not pick a side. Nobody’s really worried about him though, because really, what would the god of mischief do?

Loki doesn’t really care about all this, but man the god of advancement is cute. The god of knowledge too. And all they want is this weird object? He can do that. He’s great with weird objects. 

So Loki goes and talks to Thor, who tries very hard to convince Loki not to go get the object. “Loki no! I know you think highly of yourself, and I think you strong I really do, but this has already almost killed Aries the god of war and you are but a minor god! Please don’t put yourself at risk!” 

Loki of course, goes straight for the object after that conversation. Usually Loki is a firm believer in stealth. Today, he’s like “you know what, nah”. So in full view of both camps, he just marches up with people on both sides yelling at him to stop. Thor is running to stop him and Loki gathers all his magic and shatters the protections around the object, just chaos magics the heck outta it. He then plucks this really powerful/valued object up and splits it with his bare hands, presenting it to Tony and Stephen who are now the focus of this. 

I tried a few attempts at this, and it just never turned out right. So instead here are some pirate headcanons! He/Him Loki, frostironstrange. 

Loki is a pirate captain of a fearsome ship. His brother, Thor is the public face for the ship as a security measure. Hela, their sister, is a witch who will sometimes travel with them (see; bully her brothers into taking her where she needs to go). Loki also has some magical talent. He can also cast minor illusions which he uses in battle. Thor can summon or banish storms to a more mild degree, making for smooth sailing. When all three of them are together, they’re a damned sight for any sailor.

Their crew consists of Bruce (Ship Doctor), Valkyrie (third in command), Heimdall (the longsuffered guide of their ship), Sif, Fandral, Hogon (Thor’s usual landing party), Natasha (she showed up one day, nobody’s actually sure if Loki invited her or not, not even Loki), Bucky (Lost his memories and was freed from HYDRA by Loki’s crew so he stuck around), Clint (followed Natasha) and Stephen (magic user, fell in love with Loki and so he now travels around with him. He collects various magical artifacts to bring back to Wong for safekeeping). 

They decided to Kidnap Tony and hold him for ransom, as he’s the current prince of Howard’s kingdom and he’s in an easy place for them to kidnap for some reason

While they’re planning and arranging that, Peter whose best friends with Shuri, princess of the neighboring kingdom, Wakanda, Ned and MJ, all get the really stupid idea into their heads that they should go be pirates. Shuri’s mostly just doing this because she told her brother “maybe I’ll go become a pirate then!” in an argument and goddamn it if she backs down on this he’ll never take her threats seriously. MJ is using this as a politcal protest. Also she thinks Shuri is cute and wants to follow her.

“How do you become a pirate?” Peter asked. “I’m pretty sure if we just hop on a pirate ship then we become pirates automatically.” Replied Ned. “Yeah that sounds about right.” agreed the three teenagers who have never sailed in their life or meet an actual pirate. 

The plan to kidnap Tony is put into play, and that involves everyone but Heimdall leaving the ship. Heimdall was supposed to have several hours before anything was happening, so he decided to finally take a nap. As you may have guessed, that was a poor decision.

So the four teenagers hop on board of the “abandoned” pirate ship they found.  Meanwhile, Plot Device causes the kidnapping to need to speed up, the crew has grabbed Tony and is now rushing back. 

The crew returns and sets sail right away, not knowing there are four people Who Should Not Be There until it’s too late. 

Loki, staring down these dumbass kids on his ship: “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.” 

Peter, breaking in 2 seconds flat: “Becoming pirates to annoy our families sounded like a good idea at the time!”

Hela, crackling up laughing at all of this: “Oh come on, you can’t pretend that’s not exactly how you and Thor got into this too!”

Loki, resigned: “Fine. Stay out of the battles. Shuri, if King T’Challa comes after us too you get to explain that you’re here by choice to him. You all have to take orders from everyone on the ship expect for Tony because he’s a prisioner and Clint because his ideas are usually bad.

“Hell yes!” “Why did we want this again?”

So anyways, Loki now has a prisoner that won’t shut up and four children he didn’t ask for. They sent the ransom note to Howard. Howard sends his navy after them in response. Steve is the captain of this navy, and also in love with Tony. Sam is his second in command. Howard’s honestly not a great king and pretty assholish. 

There’s a cat and mouse game of Steve trying to get Tony back, all the while Tony decides he likes being a pirate way more and he grows on the crew. He’s also slowly falling in love with Loki + Stephen. Finally it all comes to a head in a battle. There’s serious worry that their crew is going to lose and they’re all going to die, and then Steve sees Bucky.

The moment Steve sees a still alive Bucky, he calls off the attack. He thought Bucky was dead. Bucky sees Steve and regains some memories.

He decides to go in rescue mission style instead, just Steve and Sam. He thinks Bucky will come back with him/is also a prisoner. 

Then Bucky and Tony both turn him in to Loki when he tries to rescue them. Steve is ??? and trying to understand why they’d betray him. Sam saw this coming but came anyways because he’s a good friend like that. They don’t even tie Sam up, he’s just standing in the background of all of this like “yep, I told you buddy.”

Both Bucky and Tony explain to Steve that they’re happy where they are, Tony revels that he’s dating Loki and Stephen now and points out his dad is an asshole to him. He also has basically adopted the four teenagers on the ship now. Bucky explains all that Loki and his crew have done for him, and that he still loves Steve, but can’t leave his new family for him. 

Loki is really nice about this and offers to either let Steve join his crew or return him safely to the navy with the message that Tony isn’t coming back. Steve has to think about it for awhile, but can’t stand to lose Bucky again so he joins the ship. In the end, he actually ends up dating Bucky and Sam (who also joins, because again, Sam is fucking Loyal and a Good Damn Boyfriend)

After this, T’Challa has finally had enough of Shuri’s shit and sends his navy out after her, which is a hell of a lot more dangerous. Shuri and the teenagers agree to go back home, but only on the condition they can come back to Loki’s ship from time to time. 

Alls well that ends well until 5 minutes from that point which is when they meet their rival ship holding the guardians.