black & blue

You got my heart, in between your teeth. Bite down, End me.

It wasn’t until that night, my hands shaking tears streaming down my face, that I drowned myself in my blankets, pretending they were your arms. It wasn’t until that night, that I realized how much I needed you.

They say the worst monsters come out at night. They were wrong. I met you in the daylight.

I can still smell you, you’re burning my lungs.

Boys like you don’t stick around And I don’t need my secrets in your mouth.

Just like a drug, I can’t have you once. Every time I have you, I want more and more and more. The chemical reactions are no good for my soul. You’re my wine after a long day. You’re my heroin when I break. You make me feel invincible, and when you’re gone, Oh God. I’m addicted to you. And I’m only going to want more and more and more.

I told them I didn't miss you, but I had your favorite song on.

I wanted to be your 2 PM nap after a long day, not your 2 AM fuck to waste away.

I am your Saturday night, She is your Sunday morning.

I called you with tears streaming down my face and you told me you couldn’t handle the rain. I begged and I screamed, and you told me thunder and lightning was not your thing.

You broke my heart and then complained about the mess.

There’s this emptiness, inside of me. I don’t know for how long it’s been there, or if anything has ever been there. I don’t know how small or big, but if I had to guess all this, I’d say, The emptiness has been there before I could remember The size must be as big as our galaxy And it feels like there is nothing big enough to ever fill me. There’s this emptiness, I can’t help but feel helpless None of this makes sense.

Being with you, is like dancing in the middle of a room. No music on, no shoes. We make up our own song, And scream it at the top of our lungs. We’re in love. Being with you, is like sitting in a storm. Drenched, No light. We make ourselves go in circles, And scream at the top of our lungs. And we can’t hear each other. We make mistakes. We’re lost.

I’m the sea. My scars and bruises are shells at the bottom of the floor. They’re homes to parts of me. My thoughts are the fishes, wandering, searching, Hoping to find a place to settle.

I have burned all of my bridges, so that you could no longer get to me.

My mother's insecurities have bled onto the floor of my home. My father's demons crawl as shadows along the walls of my home. I'm locked within my room, my door is the only protection left. but I can still hear it, the anger is so loud I feel it in my bones, they don't love each other anymore.

Pick at me, until I am nothing but tiny pieces. I am still the bigger person.