*Distant Wet Thud*

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

can i get an amen break burger

I would like to state for the record i’ve ignored this post the last 50 times i’ve seen it bc i thought it would be some hyper cutsie anime girl voice and i’m overjoyed to report it is instead Weapons Grade Miku complete with war horns that fuck

imagine this 💭: open your eyes 🫵 CLOSE 'EM 🙂‍↕️ now open your MENTAL EYE 👁️ right? you are in a BUS DEPOT 🚏🚌 in the DEPTHS of boston chinatown 🏮🌆 you get the opportunity to take a $10-15 💸 bus that will take you to new york 🗽 in UNDER four hours ⏱️ sometimes THREE 🏃💨 it's like the concorde of buses ✈️ this thing's going a hundred miles— BIG bus, too🫸↔️🫷not a small bus 🤏 BIG ol' bus 🙌💪 HUNDRED miles an hour 💯 on the speedway 🛣️ sometimes? catching fire 🔥🧯 don't sit in the back 👈 don't sit in the front 👉 you will hit things 🧳⚠️ and things will hit you 🤕🔨 the bus? might explode 💥💥💥 THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ✋ your business is GETTING TO NEW YORK 🫡 and then you do :)

Watching any movie before 2000 reminds you that people in movies used to be hot but like in a normal way

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

yeag

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been