All Humans Welcome.

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

God hes good at pretending to be oblivious then bringing it back around. We stan a legend

this is so fucking shallow and gross

OH FUCK! SHIT HAD ME WEAK!!! 😂😂😂😂

I am on the FUCKING floor

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

Omg

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY I COULD LOOK AT THIS ALLLLL DAY!!!!!

One-way windows between the struts, so that the viewer looking in can see the lights on the struts reflect endlessly on the interior mirror film.

Ugh yes. Fuck me up.

of note: my brother was always indifferent to cats, but queens has a lot of strays and one took to huddling up on his windowsill at night. he started feeding her, then started letting her in when she was cold, and now she’s his baby and he’s got 7 kittens running around his apartment. iconic.

LOOK AT THEIR BIG EYES. FOURTEEN BIG INNOCENT EYES.

When the little faces start peeking out at him, I imagine the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy starting up.

i hate it when people ask “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” like. awfully bold of you to assume i’ve reached peak dumbass.

This my bebe. Bebe is bigger than me. Strong bebe

Stop that’s fucking adorable