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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Xuebing Du

Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
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ā
Keni
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@oniongentleman
"Dignity For All" is anti-capitalist. šš»š«
Join a union. Respect your coworker. Solidarity.

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Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn arenāt in earshot theyāll never know right?
Then about a week into their journey like
Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying
Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah weāre the worst
Legolas:
~*~earlier~*~
Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits
Merry: Frodo whatād he say
Frodo: Iām not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think heās insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish
Merry: I mean you could do that but consider
Merry: you can only tell him ONCE
Frodo: Merry. Youāre absolutely right. Iāll wait.
#legolasā hick accent vsĀ #frodoās āi learned it out of a bookā accentĀ #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible
Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK
Frodo: :)
Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?
Legolas: yāalldāveāffāve
Frodo, crying: please I canāt understand what youār saying
Ok, but Frodo didnāt just learn out of a book. He learned like⦠Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:
Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.
Legolas: Wots that mate? āEre, you avinā a giggle? Fookinā āobbits, I sware.
Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*
@ghostriderofthearagon
dYinGggGgggā¦
i mean, honestly itās amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.
english would probably have changed less since Chaucerās time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.
theyāve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodoās books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isnāt likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragornās foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolasā father was born.
so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we canāt really tell because there werenāt years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.
plus a lot of Bilboās materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didnāt establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isnāt the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.
so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron heās probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but heās not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.
to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolasā grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.
so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when heās being casual. or both!
considering legolasā moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.
ā¦itās also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didnāt learn as a kid.
which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and theyāre just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.
this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. thereās a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!
Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but yāallādāve pitched a feckinā fit.
Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*
Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now
Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?
Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?
Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbitsā weird dialect this whole time: Thatās what it sounds like to me.
Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.
Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.
Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man
Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s
Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post
It got better
there may come a day when i do not reblog this post, but it is NOT THIS DAY
Due to a combination of Ladybug instincts and general luck, Marinette has unintentionally made a habit out of carrying girls to safety and holding them protectively to her chest. Some results of this include:
Alya realizing she has the hots for her friend
ChloƩ reevaluating her life choices
Kagami's gay awakening
Lila realizing she latched onto the wrong classmate
Whenever there's a situation people scatter away from her immediately. Marinette thinks it's so they can get to safety and she can transform easier so it's fine. To everyone else, it's a mad dash to keep their partners away from her lest Miss Steal Your Girl strikes again
Adrien subconsciously wishing he were a girl and not knowing why his very good friend would elicit such a reaction
To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)
Dir. Beeban Kidron
This was such a formative movie
This shit was revolutionary for the mid-90s. Among other things it helped me understand that transgender and cross-dressing were completely separate things.
To this day, I am in awe of the fact that Patrick Swayze not only campaigned hard to get the audition, not only auditioned in dress and makeup, but spent most of the day leading up to the audition walking around LA in dress and makeup.
This was a man who could sing, dance, act, ride a horse, fight, and walk in heels, he had nothing to prove to anyone, and he is MISSED.
Okay, Iām not done feeling about this.
If youāre younger, you may not know Patrick Swayze; he was Taken From Us in 2009. But Patrick Swayze was an icon of masculinity. Men were willing to watch romantic movies because Patrick Swayze was in them.
Patrick Swayze was fucking beefcake.
And this man didnāt just agree to do a movie where the only time heās not actually in drag is the first three minutes, which involve stepping out of the shower, doing make up, and getting Dressed. He has ONE LINE that is delivered in a manās voice, and itās not during those three minutes.
And if you watch those three minutes, you see a stark difference between his portrayal of Miss Vida BohĆ©me and Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson. (I am not criticizing Snipesā performance. They were different roles.) Noxeema was a comedy character. Chi-Chi was a comedy character. But Miss Vida BohĆ©me was a dramatic role, played by a dramatic powerhouse.
When Vida sits down in front of the mirror, she sees a man. And she doesnāt like it.
Then she puts her hair up, and her face lights up.
āReady or not,ā she says. āHere comes Mama.ā
And while Noxeema is having fun with her transformation (at one point breaking into a giggling fit after putting on pantyhose), Vida is simply taking pleasure in bringing out her true self. And when sheās done, she sees this:
And you can FEEL her pride.
All of this from an actor who, up to this point, walked on to the screen and dripped testosterone.
what if we kissed on da broom (and weāre both womem)
Two lesbian witches familiars <3

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āYou were adoptedāĀ
(Source)
As someone who has worked out with a dog in the room, I can confirm that this and more has happened.
OH MINE GOD,š³š³ I ACCIDENTALLY šš HATH SENTš³ THOU A PICTURE OF MINE COCK AND BALLSšš...PRITHEE DELETE IT!āāš! 'LEST...THOU DESIRE TO LOOK?šš HAHA I JEST..š¤£š¤£, DELETE IT.šā..SHOULD THEE CRAVE..?š³š... HAHA NAY,ā BANISH IT.šš..'LEST?šš³
Lilanette Week Day 1 Prompt: Trapped Together (quite literally)Ā
Marinette helps Lila fix her jacket. They get to talking while she sewing and, too involved in the conversation to focus on her needle, Marinette stitches the two of them together.
Maybe Marinette is inviting Lila out after sheās exposed as as liar and the backlash hits hard. Maybe Lilaās heart flutters in the chest (the first it has in a long while) at this clumsy girl with two left feet but quick clever hands and stars in her eyes. Sheāll accept the invite, hiding a smile (but never her reddening cheeks) at Marinetteās antics. Perhaps Lila learns to charm the world with her quick wit and sharp smile instead of extravagant stories and flashy adventures. Lila will learn value of creating and living her own stories where she doesnāt need an endless cast of celebrities to make it worth hearing.Ā
Or perhaps Lila is never exposed but she learns to play the field more cautiously. Marinette and Adrien never say a word. Adrien because for all hisĀ reckless preening and prancing as Chat Noir, he is a boy who thinks twice before he speaks. And when he looks at Lila Rossi, he sees a girl who is all too much like Chloe and he softens. Lilaās lies are not his to expose and especially not when he considers how they might reflect on Ladybug. Marinette can not hold back the bitter tang of regret when she looks at Lila. She doesnāt know this girl and she created the tiniest of rifts in her heart for Hawkmoth to squirm into. Her classmates who have been akumatized said it felt like they were sinking into a bog of sickening sweet syrup. Their limbs were heavy, their eyes fogged, but every one of their senses alive and thrumming with anger. There was a giddy, nauseous joy in seeing the city burn and hearing screams in their wake. Marinette doesnāt know if Lila felt the same but she knows that if she did, and if she lies awake at night reliving those feelings, she, Ladybug, Marinette, is the reason behind it. So Marinette tries to pry own Lilaās wall of lies. Bit by bit, she chips away at their foundation, and finds that she and Lila are more alike than she thought.
Lila weaves a complicated pattern of half-truths, lies and honesty, so thickly meshed into one another that itās hard to pick out what is and isnāt real. But this is how she grew up, watching her parentsā pretty lies and fake smiles, and Lila learns that this is how the world is. She moves from one country to another, an endless parade of changing schools, changing faces, and soon thereās no point in trying to make a real connection when no one is there long enough to listen. Lila is used to people tripping their feet for a taste of her stories and is she really to blame if others are gullible?Ā When she lies, itās always what people want to hear and sheās learned long ago that few care for the humdrum mundance reality of truth when a well-crafted lie can provide so much more fuel for the imagination.Ā Try as she might, Lila canāt see why that might be a problem.
Marinette likes to think sheās never lied before and maybe sheās right by some standards. Sheās never spent hours and hours crafting together a perfect lie, a story that has just enough truth behind it that no one can fully expose it as a falsehood. Neither has she ever tried to decimate someoneās hard work and reputation because they stumbled into her path to success. Marinetteās lies are clumsy things and she thinks that perhaps, just perhaps, if she had Lilaās polished smooth smile and quick flowing way with words, or Chloeās arrogant confidence and vicious streak, she might also lie. But she has neither and itās a thought she isnāt entirely comfortable to linger on. If Marinette is entirely honest with herself, she needs to admit her hatred of liars comes from a place where her truth, the part that is truly amazing and miraculous, isnāt something she can expose, and when she canāt, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the bakerās daughter, isnāt something that belongs to the same rank as those dazzling golden lies.Ā
It takes time. It takes days, weeks, maybe even months for Lila to let her guard down for this strange girl who reaches for her with friendly hands and a guileless smile, but eyes that are incomprehensibly guarded and wary. When Marinette finally admits why in an attempt to come clean (and maybe in a desperate bid for Lila to open up to her), Lila smiles and teaches Marinette to hold a better poker face.Ā
They are not friends, not really, not yet.Ā
Lila needs to learn the value of the truth, not just as a foundation to build lies upon, but as something with inherent value in and of itself. Marinette needs to pull back the reins on her immediate dislike of anything posing as something other than itself. They both need to grow and understand what theyāre worth without a mask.
At the end though, Lila will know who Ladybug is sooner or later and itāll be a rough ride.Ā
In one world, Lila doesnāt need Marinette. She has lived a life of lies with only herself for support and there would have been many more years before she eventually collapsed on that solitary path. But in this life, she has Marinette, and with Marinette came others. The road to friendship (and maybe more) is a slow grueling experience but the day Ladybug stands before her and off comes the mask to expose Marinette, Lila exhales slow and hard through her nose before pinching her friendās cheeks so hard that tears leap to the superheroās eyes.Ā
āThatās for ruining my chances with a cute boy and turning me into an akuma,ā Lila says, a grin belying her stern tone. āNow weāre even.āĀ
Marinette hugs her so hard Lila swears her ribs groaned upon the pressure.
In another world, Marinette can never find the right time to tell Lila her truth and Lila worries, and frets, and grows suspicious. When Marinette finally works up the courage to take off the mask, Lila shatters.
On this route, Lila is taken for a villain and Marinette is a lifesaver she clings desperately onto. Here Marinette is a saviour and Lila loves her for being able to see past the lies she told, for being able to know what she did and still be the first to come up to her with open arms and an extension of friendship that blossoms into more.Ā
Marinette wants Lila to understand. She wants her to know that none of what she did was a lie (but she canāt fully convince herself it came from a genuine place either).Ā
āWas it fun for you? Playing me for a fool?ā
Lila storms away and Marinette isnāt sure if she should follow or not (she does anyway). Whenever an akuma attacks, Ladybugās first item of business is to find Lila and whisk her away to the safest location. The top of the Rossiās apartment is often decorated with a superhero, dangling her legs off the edge of their roof, casting frequent glances at the sliver of light gleaming through tightly shut curtains. Marinette has apologized for many things in her life but sheās never had to apologize for breaking, then mending, then breaking someone again. She isnāt sure she knows how.
It isnāt an easy road to recovery. Lila maintains a chilly contact with Marinette, for the sake of keeping the peace if nothing else. Marinette waits and watches and lets her heart break when she hears Lila muffled sobs through her apartment window.Ā
When Lila cracks, itās after months of frosty silence and hearing the softest thump of feet landing on her roof. It happens after she is whisked away, stiff and uncompromising, in arms that seem to be trying their best to be both secure yet politely distanced. The changes are small but to the peope who matter, theyāre significant. A pair of curtains, cracked open, and muttered thanks when sheās being carefully set on her feet to safety during an attack. On cold and rainy days, there is a window open for her to enter, though there isnāt any conversation (that will take time). When Lila flinches during a thunderstorm and Ladybug reaches cautiously over to brush a hand over hers, Lila doesnāt move away and they both think that itāll be okay.Ā
But what if Luz sees Amity with her hair down and gets her into a Future Trunks cosplay
Chš
Take the time to watch this, itās MAGIC
what even

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Happy Pride comrades
come to think of it, why wouldnāt someone with supermanās powers use them for physical comedy? like. buster keaton style. or dick van dyke. he is invulnerable and can fly, those are the perfect circumstances for a pratfall. half the time only he is aware that he is joking and he just looks like a clumsy asshole but he knows in his heart that the timing on that gag was perf. add this to my list of stupid fucking headcanons.
clark sits down too aggressively in a desk chair, rolls backward across basically the whole office before the chair tips backward and he rolls out of it and into a vending machine in the break room that drops candy on his head because he whacked it. lois is laughing so hard she canāt breathe but the joke is on her, he did that on purpose. he planned that gag for days. she is laughing with him, not at him. who is the real winner here. score one for kent.
at least once he has nearly given lois an aneurysm because his glasses broke and he decided the best way to deal with this was to go full mr magoo. constantly barely avoiding catastrophe. lois keeps having to try to rescue him so he has to plan things so she wonāt get hurt. nonetheless he enjoys the change of pace. the next day at work he listens to her regale the office with tales of how clark nearly fucking died like fifty goddamn times when she was walking him home. he feels like he did a good deed giving her a fun story to tell at parties. after lois finds out he is superman there is hell to pay.
me and my friends dancing toĀ āmr. brightsideāĀ
If this aināt me
tag urself iām catra and adora swearing theyāre enemies while taking every opportunity they have to stand 3 cm away from each other
you look fine to me
Always reblog~
My cousin once showed me this from a facebook repost because he knows I like pokemon and teen titans, not knowing it was my art.

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Baby-Doll Batman: The Animated Series
This is one criminally underrated Batman villain.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH SHE WAS MY FAVORITE BATMAN VILLAIN
Her physical condition didnāt allow her to age
No one took her seriously as an actress
And even when she was trying to get into a happy romantic relationship (albeit with another villain) he still couldnāt take her seriously as a consenting, sexually active and romantically interested adult
Thatās a lot of blows to someoneās psycheĀ
and Babydoll is both a sympathetic villain and a formidable one
I remember this episode fucked me up a a kid.Ā
And man, do I wish we could see this Batman again: the Batman that consoles his villains, because the majority (if not all) of them are mentally ill people. And Batman knows this and wants them healthy again, not punished and GOD definitely not dead.
Baby Doll is so underrated as a Batman villainĀ
but her episode was perfectĀ
Batman: The Animated Series The story of one fucked up, traumatized little boy, doing his best to help other fucked up traumatized people.
#this show is the only batcanon that matters to me #dc can burn everything else down but theyāll never pry the dcau from cold dead clawed hands
The Batman that cares about the inmates is my favorite. He doesnāt put up with their shit, but he does try to reach out here and there and heās as human as he can be to them.
When Harley was re-institutionalized, he got her that dress she wanted.
In the comics based on B:tAS, there was a time during Christmas that there was snow and it was Mr. Freezeās fault, and he was making it snow because Christmas was his anniversary with Nora and she LOVED it when it snowed on Christmas, so Batman let him finish mourning before calmly taking him back to Arkham.
He never, ever gives up on Harvey possibly recovering.
Sure, Batman is going to throw punches and do what it takes to take these guys down when theyāre hurting or threatening people. And heās not going be a complete bleeding heart; he has to protect the innocent. Heās going to take them down and take them back to Arkham, but it doesnāt mean heās incapable of being a bit human to the ones who deserve it.
Batman needs become human again
Because it needs to be here:
Remember that time a young girl with near god-like psychic powers threatened to destroy reality and the only one that could stop her was Batman because he had a previous encounter with her and was tasked with killing her to restore reality.
But instead, Batman sat with her on a swing and kept her company as the girlās psychic powers slowly killed her.
No?
Fuck you people making me emotional
The. Batman.
This is MY Batman, not the murderous fascist theyāve made him into.
This is the one true Batman that DC Comics as a whole seems to have abandoned. Two of his Robins he brought into his life because he didnāt want Dick to end up like Bruce & in turn keep Bruce on the side of justice. & Jason because he saw the potential for bad as well as for good & it helped make Bruce be a better person.
Best cat award.
I was literally just whispering, āThis is the best video ever recorded,ā when she said it.
osha is making the rounds again.Ā she would be thrilled to know the internet loves her like this.Ā Ā
@matissethecatto