she comes in colors

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

nice try mario

We’re always like “we’re gonna dress like sci-fi people in the future” and then the next generation is always like yasss jeans

my favorite part of flying home to texas is when the pilot yells YEEEEE HAWWWW WE’RE IN TEXAS NOW BOYS and fires his revolvers into the roof of the cockpit. 

Girl’s night out (of body experience)

im a bar of soap and God is an instagram girl with acrylic nails and a box cutter

If u haven’t cried in a math class you’re not allowed to follow me. Mathematical illiterates on this blog ONLY

my heart says yes but my mom says no