catalogued.

SO. all of my blogs are, for the time being, on an indefinite semi-hiatus + i'm dropping everything older than 3 months, unless i already wrote it in my notebook and just need to type it up. i do intend to come around intermittently but. who knows!!!

i miss writing desperately but everything is so very... A Lot right now!! i'm also supposed to be moving at the end of august!! HELL SUMMER HELL SUMMER HELL SUMMER!!!! 🎉

SO. all of my blogs are, for the time being, on an indefinite semi-hiatus + i'm dropping everything older than 3 months, unless i already wrote it in my notebook and just need to type it up. i do intend to come around intermittently but. who knows!!!

i miss writing desperately but everything is so very... A Lot right now!! i'm also supposed to be moving at the end of august!! HELL SUMMER HELL SUMMER HELL SUMMER!!!! 🎉

Something that neither of them have been able to do so far. Gerry was still here, in his office, proving him right.

With the exception of Rosie, most of his other staff would likely never have to interact directly with the Fears or any of their avatars. Between her and the Archival staff's paranoia, Elias had kept the Eye fed consistently for years now. It rarely had to do much in the Institute these days.

"Destruction tends to follow in your wake, I thought a reminder wouldn't hurt." Gertrude's indirect doing, no doubt. The Distortion still chose to target his employees, an anger he believes is wholly misdirected at this point. She had been taken care of in a fitting way, and yet it still was trying to take out his Archivist. How much of that is an attempt at sabotage by the Spiral itself matters little to Elias, it had already done what he needed from it.

          In fact, destruction following Gerry has become such a problem that he has started to run towards it instead of away, wanting to get the bandaid off as soon as possible.  That usually has the added benefit of making sure that nobody else gets caught in the crossfire, as he intercepts the danger before it can really make itself known to others.

          “Whatever,” he says, taking a step back from the desk, no longer confident enough to loom over Elias as he had been.  “I’m not going to get anybody else here hurt.  If you knew the first thing about my history”—which he does—“you’d know that.  I’ve always dealt with my shit myself.”  Not really his shit; more like everybody else’s, but the point still stands.

          It is true that finding a job after you have been dead is difficult, and worse than that, Gerry has a criminal record.  Even if he was released on a technicality, a tampering with evidence, his arrest for his mother’s murder is still easily accessible information and not something that most employers would be willing to ignore in the hiring process.

digital head quirks, brows furrowing as he took in the other's words and parsed through them. hand runs through short, blonde locks, the gesture so inherently human, yet his pixels flicker for a moment as he does so,

" I'm as sentient as you are. " he says, biting his lip in a way that suggests he's somewhat hesitant. how does someone like HIM, the memory of a dead man, show another he's still human?

" I have plenty of fears. " he starts, leaning forward, resting his elbow on white pixels as his face encompasses the majority of the screen, " Being erased, for one. Facing my father, after all this time. Trusting the wrong person. " he lists off, each one followed by increasingly unstable laughter,

          Good to know, he writes.  He doesn’t question the sentient man in the computer because everything is fair game at this point in his life.

          My mom, when she was alive.  At least, they both have some issue with their parents.  He has to be a little bit careful, given that this is an Institute computer, and Elias could easily use it to farm a statement from him.  On the other hand, there is not much about him out there that the people here don’t already know.

          Staying dead.  The dying part itself is easy.  A lot of the same as you, I guess.

❛  that thing is cursed! don't let it touch you!  ❜ ❛  i'm afraid this is very bad.  ❜ ❛  is there no way we can stop it?  ❜ ❛  do we just sit here and watch them die?  ❜ ❛  you cannot alter your fate. however, you can rise to meet it, if you choose.  ❜ ❛  you must take it with you. please, i want you to have it, so you won't ... forget.  ❜ ❛  don't you even think of thanking me. it was my pleasure.  ❜ ❛  easy there. you don't want to make your injuries worse, do you?  ❜ ❛  i was starting to think i'd done something wrong by bringing them back home.  ❜ ❛  why are you here, if you don't mind me asking?  ❜ ❛  follow me if you wish to learn my secret.  ❜ ❛  how much more hatred and pain do you think we need?  ❜ ❛  if it's me you want, here i am.  ❜ ❛  why did you stop me from killing them? tell me while you're still alive.  ❜ ❛  that's enough! i'm not listening to you anymore!  ❜ ❛  don't be shy. i won't hurt you.  ❜ ❛  you can go wherever you want to. you're free now.  ❜ ❛  you'd risk everything on one last battle?  ❜ ❛  what if something goes wrong and we're stuck here? we can't help you.  ❜ ❛  even if you were a woman, you'd still be an idiot!  ❜ ❛  why can't we stop this fighting now?  ❜ ❛  it's a trap and a stupid one.  ❜ ❛  you know that boy wanted to share his life with you.  ❜ ❛  i'll try and bring you some help! can you hold out?  ❜ ❛  i'll be back! i promise!  ❜ ❛  you'll have to stay here. wait for me. i'll come back for you.  ❜ ❛  it's really you? you're still alive?  ❜ ❛  i was right in the front line. i saw everything. everything!  ❜ ❛  everything started happening so fast. it was like a nightmare.  ❜ ❛  take it easy. i'm trying to get you out.  ❜ ❛  you're on their side, aren't you?  ❜ ❛  here. take this. where i'm going, they won't be of any use.  ❜ ❛  you'll have to hurry, or it could mean the end of all of us.  ❜ ❛  you must fight it! don't let yourself become a demon!  ❜ ❛  what proof is there this isn't a lie?  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry. i tried to stop it.  ❜ ❛  nothing is over. the two of us are still alive. now, will you help me, [name]?  ❜ ❛  don't force me to kill you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be near. i will come and visit you ... whenever i can, all right?  ❜ ❛  well, i give up. you can't win against fools.  ❜

    Resting herself up on a roof vent, she fixed her posture to face Gerry a little. Not by much, but enough where she could look like she was listening to him. She didn't ignore details like this, but in a world where it looked like it was the end to come, she was desperate to connect with somebody new. This was revolutionary in her mind, but it was a start to finding more survivors.

    Kurumi perked up at the answer. London? She didn't expect an answer like that, but ... he didn't look like he came from around here.

    " ... must be nice to travel for work," she said. "To go to a bunch of places outside of the country. I'd kill for something like that." A pause, " ... not literally, but you get what I mean. My friends were talking about where we'd go if we could travel somewhere before we ... got lost.

    " ... what's your favorite place you've traveled to? For work, I mean."

          He shrugged.  “Italy was all right, although my work kind of interrupted my holiday there.”  He could have walked away from the woman to whom he had seen the mist clinging, but his conscience would not allow it.

          “America had some good food…  I know they’re known for being unhealthy, but…”  He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and looked out over the horizon.  “I guess I kind of like the taste of organ failure.  I stayed over there way longer than I meant to, though.”  Dying tended to cause that little inconvenience, and being toted around in book form for years negated much of his interest in going back.

Smiling around his hands, watching Gerry's expression change, he allows the silence to hang between them a few moments longer than necessary. He seemed to be grasping the pit he had walked over, finally. A shame, really, that he hasn't changed all that much in the years since his death. "Well, my desires aside, I'm sure having a paycheck wouldn't hurt, would it? That, despite what you may think, is a courtesy I will always offer."

          On the other hand, Jon had worked too hard and gone through too much to bring Gerry back just to watch him throw it all away again.  This left them at an odd sort of impasse, which limited the amount of danger they could willingly end up in, for the other’s sake.  This small courtesy toward each other gave Elias that much more control over both of them.  If they wouldn’t be stupid or reckless enough to stand up to one of the most powerful avatars, where did that leave them?

          Gerry takes a step back, indicative of him recognizing that he has made a mistake of some kind.  “I’m not going to put anyone in danger,” he says sullenly.  “No more than they already are, anyway.”  Most people employed by the Institute assumed it to be a regular office job when they applied, and certainly, for most people outside of the Archives, it is.  But Gerry knows better, and as far as he is aware, so do all of the current Archives employees.  All of the ones who are still alive have seen more than enough to know what kind of trouble they are in and how little they can do about it.

          “Mostly, I’ve been using the cupboards for dishes and shit.  I don’t want food going bad when I’m not here, but if you’re going to eat it, I’ll get it.  I know fruit gummies take a really long time to go bad, right?”  It’s rhetorical; he already knows how the gelatin inside of them works.

          He almost opened his mouth to say that he couldn’t believe she didn’t like chocolate, and then he remembered she was made out of fire.  It is the same reason Agnes can’t have chocolate.  It instantly disintegrates in her hand, which is a shame because he is sure she would probably like it.

Their fingers twitch again. Another rumble, but it seems to be descending. They've made the threat clear. Without further hesitation, still poised to strike- is that what they're threatening in the first place?- the priest moves forward, attempting to walk right past Gerry, brushing shoulders at most...unless stopped, unless that contact turns white-hot electric.

        He was not afraid to die, not really.  Dying was easy, and if was just him, the decision would be simple.  But there was more at stake, both for the world, and… his friends, something he hadn’t had until recently.

        Gerry looked over his shoulder at Cayne, thinking as he watched the other’s retreating form, all those stiff movements, like something just under their skin wanted more space to breathe.  They can be killed, he thought, remembering Gertrude’s rather liberal use of C-4, something so pedestrian that worked against the supposedly unknowable.

dialogue prompts from alter ego by alex segura.

i'm just tired of being in the shadows.

i guess i just don't want to be forgotten.

i don't belong here anymore, if i ever did.

god, you are so fucking cool.

i'll see you soon, okay? don't worry.

i'm happy to see your face.

best laid plans, and all that.

if you know everything, there's little incentive to learn.

i love _____ in the way i'm supposed to love my family.

everything feels so much harder here.

i believe in you.

i don't care if you've never done this before. i know you can.

love can't pay the electric bill.

i don't know if i can say no to that.

sometimes the worst thing that can happen to you is getting exactly what you want.

it's okay to be sad.

i wish _______ was here, too.

the living and wealthy get to shape the narrative, whether they deserve to or not.

you're the voice we need.

you get the best tidbits when you just let other people talk.

do you hear yourself talking?

you talk a nice game, but you don't get shit.

your emergency doesn't increase my urgency, as the saying goes.

i'm excited that we might get to work together.

try to convince me. just don't bullshit me.

i'm curious. maybe even a little excited.

parenting is all about tough calls.

i'm used to people just doing as i say. it's gotten me into trouble.

i detest guns. hate them with a passion. they terrify me.

funny how the stuff that works us up as kids never loses that power.

just because a tiger lets you pet it once doesn't mean it won't bite your hand off, next time.

i felt seen. that doesn't happen a lot.

how often do dreams come true?

i don't think about _____ at all.

no child should feel like the adult in the house.

my poor, broken little ____.

why would i lie?

i knew i liked you.

i can't tell if you're brutally honest or just a huge asshole.

unreliable narrators are my thing.

has anything strange been happening?

you want to show ____ who you really are, don't you?

sometimes we get exactly what we want, and we don't know what to do with it.

a normal person would be worried.

you kissed me.

we have a lot of unresolved stuff between us.

i know you like me. am i wrong?

kid keeps growing like a weed, huh?

you've got that 'the world is ending; where do we go?' vibe.

would you like to share with the group?

i'm not used to seeing this time of morning.

why not come back to bed?

i know you too well for this act.

i just wanted to feel something different.

were you going to tell me?

we're cool, right?

i'm sure we all could have been better. more honest.

that didn't sound good. you okay?

you're giving off real tinfoil hat vibes here.

you look like shit.

i'm pregnant, and it's yours.

you surprise me, even now.

you're quite the insolent one, aren't you?

we're family now. we're bonded.

you need to be careful. this isn't a game.

you're only starting to see what you're up against.

you deserved to know. even if you've been a complete asshole.

can i walk you to your ____?

i'm not sure i want to be your _____, to be honest.

any answer is better than what i have.

i feel lucky to even know you.

i'm sorry i didn't talk to you about it.

look at you. you've come so far.

i'm so proud of you.

i could have used a friend. i still can.

i did what i did because i had no choice.

god, i hate social media.

_____ helped me when i needed help.

it's nothing a little internet sleuthing couldn't uncover.

________. that's the password.

i'm glad you told me.

i won't let you feel alone. i won't allow it.

it must have been so hard for you.

i'm not going to run away. if anything, i'm running toward this.

no one has been here in a long, long time.

i don't believe in coincidences.

i have enough evidence to take _____ down.

oh, [name]. you're always stirring the pot.

your house is cosy. it feels like a home.

i feel like i've been here before, so many times.

i want to do right by you.

where on earth have you been all my life?

i'd never considered you the gun-toting type.

you think you're so smart.

you speak with such confidence, such ego.

i almost felt bad for ____.

@freeddead said: “ you’re welcome to stay for as long as you like. what’s mine is yours, okay? you don’t need to ask permission, just take whatever you want. “ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐋/𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.