free bread

“I’m not a fan.”

idk who she is but im cackling…lmfaoo

😂😂😂

if i had the aladdin lamp i would ask for a genie blowjob and then a second genie blowjob immediately after. my third wish would be to increase world hunger

I like how one of the most prestigious and respected marine institutions on the planet posted this with zero context.

this is the most powerful most culturally significant work of art of our generation

I wish I could watch this for the first time again

Every DnD game that starts out with a serious “Lord of the Rings” type of tone turns into a Monty Python sketch and every DnD game that starts out like a Monty Python sketch turns into Lord of the Rings

"the same casual blasphemy orangutans show to God" WHAT THE FUCK I'M DECEASED

 clone wars constantly yo-yos between “no matter how fair the government claims it is, it will always become corrupt by corporate greed” to “check out this cool spaceship” to  “companies are willing to sell potentially dangerous resources to a desperate population if it means more profit” to “this space wizard just threw a rock with their mind and cut it in half with a laser sword how sick is that"  and I think that’s wonderful

this one episode starts with a monologue about how criminals  exploit the fear of the masses during wartime for personal gain and then it immediately cuts to C3P0 planning a brunch

Having animals of different species is like living with roommates of different nationalities where sometimes you accidentally speak French to your Spanish roommate and it doesn’t work. If a chicken hops on the table while I’m eating I can make her back off by telling her KWÊK. But if the cats are doing something illegal and I get mixed up and tell them KWÊK they’ll just laugh at me. Lady, we aren’t afraid of angry chicken sounds. But an angry cat sound? A loud, hissing PSHHH? They’ll scram. Pandolf doesn’t need any sounds, if you just give him a disappointed look it’ll break his soft dog heart and he’ll beg for a path to redemption. You give a chicken a disappointed look, she just returns it and now you’re the one feeling like a failure.

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”

there’s a fucking furry at the mall!!!!

what the hell is an “"easter bunny”“

My app crashed three times trying to reblog this, and I feel that was the universe trying to stop me from giving others whiplash.