Kai knew the body language well - not from seeing Alucard in such a state, no. While he was of no doubt the elder vampire frequently found himself upset (as was the nature of nightmares), he hid it from most exquisitely. No, Kai knew it from himself, the many nights he awoke with a gasp, tears staining his cheeks, heart pounding, chest aching-
It was almost nauseating, to see such reflected in Alucard.
A reality check, perhaps, that the world really was cruel.
The near snap didn’t cause the younger to flinch - it likely should have. Kai had feared Alucard from day one, his power overwhelming, anger petrifying… but in this moment, fear was an afterthought.
“It’s not pathetic.” Words spoken softly, Kai took only two steps into the room before pausing again - he dare not get too close until beckoned forward. “Memories can be… dreadful. I can only imagine yours, after all these years, are. That isn’t pathetic.”
Another step, slow, submissive body language attempting to make his position as a peaceful party clear, as his eyes slid closed.
He had already seen it - but it felt wrong to stare.
“Do you want me to stay?”
A long moment of silence followed, as an ever turbulent mind attempted to decide on how to respond to the situation. On one hand, casting Kai out seemed like the less disgustingly vulnerable option. On the other, he had already seen the state that day's attempts at rest had left the elder in, so there wasn't really a chance at trying to convince the bat of anything else...
Chest still tightened with anxiety, the Count drew in another series of unsteady breathes, though he couldn't tell if calming the useless breathing or choking the hyperventilation out of himself would be more effective at this point. Violent hands shifted to harshly swipe at his own eyes, an effort to clean the bloody tears from his face that, he knew, was likely ineffective.
Everything hurt. Nothing really did. The numbness of panic still crept along gloved fingers, while all those impossible aches radiated across the vampire's body. It was nauseating, he very well might still throw up at this rate, and —
Kai had asked a question, hadn't he? Damn it.
Dead lungs rattled with a heavy sigh, boots falling heavily as Alucard paced back toward his usual part of the room. There was little to be done about it, and he couldn't serve to think of anything cleverly disarming to say when age-old memories were still flashing behind sunset eyes.
Acceptance, or the closest that anyone was going to get to it. Collapsing into his throne, the king swiped at his face again, a low growl of distaste bubbling up in his throat. Reaching for the wine that conveniently waited on the table, he had to fleetingly wonder why it was even there at such an odd hour, but those were questions to be asked later.
'Or I'll break your fucking arm.' — a follow-up that never actually came, though he'd certainly meant to make that comment sound like a threat.
