The Leon's Den

concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.

this is the best post on this fucking website

i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011

The longer this goes on for the funnier it gets

*Xfiles theme*

This thing looks like someone made a fish out of scrap metal.

awwwwww♥

This is the cutest shit ever everything else can go home

Hold the fucking phone where can I get a foot warmer?

DO NOT KISS BIRDS