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In my head Shane is 14 when one of his coaches finds him on the ice doing extra drills after practice and he makes some Crack like, "Guess you're not a once in a generation talent after all." And Shane is surprised and doesn't know what he means, and thinks maybe he did something wrong? A stupid newspaper called him a generational talent a couple months ago and the kids on his team - well it's fine. They're still winning. "More like twice huh?" The coach finishes. He holds up a DVD in an unlabled jewel case (because it's 2005) "Got something you're going to want to see."
The coach takes him to the video room and puts the DVD in, "There's a kid in Russia, same age as you. They're saying he's the next Gordie Howe."
He presses play and they watch a shaky video of two Russian teams. Shane's heart starts racing as he watches. He can immediately tell who coach is talking about. One of them is clearly faster and smarter than the rest, moving through the defense with a slick confidence that Shane immediately finds fascinating.
"His name is uh," coach digs though a pile of paper, "Romanof or something." He finds what he's looking for, "Ilya Rozanov. He'll be draft eligible the same year you will."
Shane feels that same sense of determination, terror, and joy he always feels when one of his coaches talks about him getting drafted like it's a forgone conclusion. He keeps watching the kid on the ice, the same age as him, and very good, and also already set for the draft.
His play style is fascinating, and when his shift is over Shane grabs the remote to fast forward to the next time he gets on the ice, wanting to see more.
His coach laughs and claps him on the shoulder, "Don't worry about him too much. You won't be playing him for a couple of years."
Shane watches this boy skate around his teammates like it's easy, like he's bored, maybe as bored as Shane sometimes is with his own team. He can't wait.
shane hollander is a jock, a dude, a 200 pounds man, a captain, he's been giving interviews and speeches before he could even walk, he plays in front of thousands and thousands of people and loud af crowds, he's a performer, he's constantly in front of cameras, he's been under scrutiny his whole life, he's an athlete, he breathes-eats-sleeps-shits sport, he swears, he's masculine, his hockey gear is probably putrid, he's a certified mcgymbroâ˘, he only wears athletic stuff, he models, he does commercials, his main personality trait is hockey, he's kissed and hugged by his sweaty teammates in the locker room, he's ripped, he's an asshole, he's sarcastic, he's a bitch, he uses "fuck" every three words, he hires a stylish and a designer because his taste is bro. and he is all that while being neurodivergent too. and a bottom.
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Have we considered that between Ilya Slavanov and Mr. Autism 3000 this is probably how they look to the outside world even when they're as happy as can be đ
i just looove the image of ilya sliding into shaneâs hole and then immediately stopping all movement when he bottoms out. he closes his eyes and takes a couple of deeps breaths and shane is looking back at him like đ whyâd you stop??? come on baby i neeeeed you (whiny) meanwhile ilya is fighting for his life & also to not blow his load right there and then like pleaseâŚ.just give me a secondâŚ.
this happens at least once a week years into their marriage btw
IDK I think at some point Shane Hollander keeps a journal. Maybe it's during the situationship era and it started as a bullet journal because my boy loves a task and a checklist, but it turns into a dumping ground of thoughts and voices in his head, and it feels good to get them out he feels lighter after, staring at the page of truly horrendous scrawl and there it is he can see it it's all out now and then he shut the journal and it's just a blank cover, it's all contained and that feels good too.
Or maybe it's post outing and he's finally seeing a therapist who suggests he write out his thoughts and feelings, cognitive processing, it's so hard for Shane to work through all the muck swirling around up there so he starts jotting down sentences that turn into little paragraphs that sometimes run into pages of off the rails free writing when Shane gets going he'll write until the ink runs out just words on a page no thoughts all impulse.
Either way, I just know those entries are absolutely feral dirty aching truly terrifying the mind is a cesspool and Shane's is full of deadly currents, but also fucking geysers of lust and longing and taboo and IDK. I think Shane keeps a journal and that's a good thing, and no one ever sees it and that's a good thing, too.
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The combination of their car crash hockey bodies and the beginnings of aging means that post-retirement when Ilya gives Shane his usual merciless face-down ass up marathon pound session for Shaneâs 48th birthday (this one is a tough one, because Shane wants to come 8 times, because he uses the decade count to make orgasm goals of course, and these become their new scoring race) everything seems normal, Shane is blissed out drooling while Ilya feeds him grapes and a prepped protein shake and giving him 48 kisses all over his body plus more because whoâs counting kisses his Shane can have as many as he wants and Shane also wants to blow Ilya for his birthday so he gets on his knees to Shane his eyes up at his husband because Ilya likes that even more now that Shane is all silvery at his temples and his hairline and wears his glasses almost full time and yeah Shane spreads his legs on his knees giving an oscar-worthy slut performance and then they eat lukewarm door dash pizza at like midnight laughing and talking and teasing and playing with Anya deep into the night and just reveling in how much they love each other after all these years and they fall into bed and everything is bliss untilâŚ
They wake upâ
âIlya.â Shane reaches out to slap Ilyaâs arm. His ass is on fire more ways than one. Heâd let Ilya give him as many birthday spanks as kisses and now he canât move. âI think Iâm paralyzed.â
When Ilya turns over his hip pops loud enough to break the sound barrier. He burps inside his mouth. âCall 911. They will need a crane for me. It has been wonderful knowing you, sweetheart.â
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random Wyatt Hayes headcanons because I canât sleep (Queen Dr. Lisa under the cut)
he played college hockey for 2 years before he was drafted
his older sister Kristy didnât come out to their parents until they were both in college and out of the house and when the parents disowned her Wyatt disowned them because thereâs no universe where his big sister is NOT his family
Kristy went to U of Toronto so when Wyatt got drafted by the Guardians it felt like fate
He and Kristy were roommates his first few years in Toronto because even his ELC felt like a lot of money and that freaked him out and also it just felt nice coming home to someone that loves him bc as it turns out playing for the nhl isnât as fun as he thought
And Kristy like the big sister she is bullies him into having a life outside of his job âbecause it is at the end of the day just a job, Wyatt.â
Wyattâs hobbies include his local comics store, where he finds via a flyer about a regular game of D&D, and the community center Kristy dragged him to for one volunteer shift she did for class credit. Her work and hustle made her too busy to return (bc she refuses to let her baby brother pay for everything, nhl money or no) but Wyatt kept going back
Wyatt makes friends everywhere he goes except for on the team. The guys tolerate him okay, but if he talks to any of them too long he gets the ick (heâs not really into making friends with guys who talk about people like those he loves that way)
He only admits it to Kristy, and later to Lisa, that he thinks the head coach would have him traded long ago if it were his choice, but the gm has some weird âdonât want anyone else to have youâ complex about him, which has him just. warmin the bench
Once at the community center, he catches one kid calling another âgayâ as an insult and he has his own Hilary Duff PSA moment. (the kids are too young to grt the reference anyway). And then Wyatt gives them an impromptu lesson about chirping.
âThe key to a good chirp is that itâs gotta be about something that a guy can change, right? Like, no one can change their sexuality, but they do have the psower to change their terrible mustache right? Or if their game is bad, you can chirp them about that, because your game is always something you can get better at.â âWhat if you know they canât get better?â âThen you say nothing at all. And thatâs even worse, because then they arenât even worth the effort of chirping. You know whoâs really good at all of this actually? Ilya Rozanov. No Iâm serious, he never digs at guys over things they canât change, and heâll silent treatment anyone he doesnât respect and it drives them crazy.â
Kristy comes home one day and faceplants on the couch going âIâm in love. And itâs TERRIBLEâ bc the fling she had with a Vancouver filmmaker working on location in town is actually super serious oh noooooo
And then when Wyatt finally meets Eve (awkwardly. when he got home after midnight from a roadie and Eve was in the kitchen wearing Big Shirt No Pants.) he knows. This is it for Kristy.
Wyatt meets Lisa by chance when he takes one of his friends in to the ER for appendicitis (bc in his adventuring party he IS the guy you call when you need help moving or a ride to the hospital)
Lisa is a resident on her Emergency rotation and ofc Wyatt Notices her immediately but in a âwow sheâs beautiful but sheâs at her job and I am just some guy so I will not bother herâ kind of way
But heâs Hazy and has little filter with his friends so he tells his buddy something like âwow. sheâs beautiful.â and is immediately betrayed when the morphine hits.
Lisa is flattered and Wyatt is horrified but she accepts his apology and despite what his buddy says âyou do not have to give me your number. in fact, please donât.â
And thatâs it. UNTIL.
Wyatt takes Kristy out to her favorite lesbian bar to drink her feelings over Eve, whoâs on a plane to the west coast, and bumps into đĽđĽđĽ Dr. Lisa
And then Wyatt is embarrassed all over again bc he double never had a shot with the gorgeous gay doctor and during his anxious babble Lisa catches that and blurts out that sheâs not a lesbian, sheâs just out with friends from work and they picked the bar.
And then they ignore their people and talk all night
At the end Lisa gives Wyatt her number with the caveat that she doesnât have time to date or anything else. Sheâs not promising anything
They talk for weeks until their schedules align enough to go on a real date.
idk what the first date is rn but it ends with an AMAZING kiss and wyatt is pleading âwhen can I see you againâ and lisa is like âI donât know if I canâ bc sheâs already in too deep with this adorable younger hockey player who acts nothing like the jocks from her small town in bumfuck, ca, and he is nothing like she planned for
Hazy saying something like âI just want to spend time with you, and if the most you can do right now is a five minute coffee break, Iâll take it.â
âFive? Iâm lucky if I get two.â
âIâll gladly take it.â
And they get by on those little moments. Wyatt drops by the hospital during his gaps in schedule, bringing coffee and snacks and (most precious of all) chocolate covered espresso beans. He starts buying donuts for the nurses to bribe them. And his reputation starts to precede him when Lisa changes rotations
While heâs falling in love, Kristy is pining, and for the first time ever, Wyatt is the one to give his sister tough love, bc sheâs not happy here anymore, so maybe she needs to go where she can be happy. Like Vancouver. And Wyatt has a whole life (and a girlfriend now), so Kristy should go live her own.
Okay but moving across the country is crazy. You get thatâs crazy right? / So what? Swing big, Kris
And when Kristy finally meets Lisa (awkwardly, when Lisa stumbled out of Wyattâs room at 10am in one of his shirtsâbc she was sleeping in while he had morning practice) she knows that this is It for her baby brother.
Lisa is Wyattâs date to Kristy and Eveâs wedding. Wyatt officiates, because he got one of those online certificates
Kristy returns the favor and officiates Lisa and Wyattâs wedding a couple years later
For a minute, Wyatt was dreading doing the wedding thing because he didnât have any family besides Kristy and Eve to invite, but he actually has a whole community that he and his sister built together
In a similar vein, Lisa decides to take Hayes as her name to start their own chapter of the Hayes family
When Eve announces that sheâs pregnant, Wyatt sobs, heâs so happy and proud of his sister and her family, like, she is the bravest strongest person he knows and her dreams are coming true
And Wyatt married his dream girl, and maybe his dream job wasnât all it was cracked up to be, but thatâs life. His wife has her dream job and it pisses her off sometimes too.
When he gets to Ottawa, it makes him sad to learn just how much team culture is a choice, and that he could have been happy on a team like this the whole time? damn
he and zane boodram are team dads. ilya is captain ofc, but heâs also the goofy slavic uncle whose advice is more like a riddle at a crossroads
hazyâs top piece of advice to any rook who asks is: get people in your life who donât give a shit about hockey. I am so serious. your life cannot only be this. give yourself one or two people to remind you of that. marry one, if you can
Cut to shane hearing this after he joins the team and being deeply confused and disturbed (Shane Hollander is of course the exception that proves the rule)
Wyatt is actually one of Shaneâs first friends on the Cens bc by virtue of being a camp coach Shane knows him already, and knows that heâs a safe person. And at some point between the outing and the first game together Wyatt just gives Shane a look and asks, âyouâll be good to him, right?â and nothing wins Shane Hollander over faster than knowing that theyâre looking out for Ilya
I donât see Wyatt and Lisa having kids but I do see Wyatt being a devoted cat dad. He makes posts like that guy on the Indiana Pacers whose brand is Nerdy Cat Dad.
a short au idea where shane goes to visit his girlfriend by surprise because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does heâs face to face with a half-naked man heâs never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying itâs not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy whoâs leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like heâs actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his exâs grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesnât turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and itâs the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps âwhat do you want?âand the guy goes âi didnât know she had a boyfriendâ and shaneâs like âso what?â and the guy, smirking just like before, goes âif i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i wouldâve been chasing you instead of herâ and shaneâs thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks âwhat the fuck is your problem?â and the guy goes âmy problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?â and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and itâs the guy and his friend rose goes âshane, this is ilya, heâs the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friendsâ and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes âoh shane, weâre definitely going to be GREAT friendsâ and now shane is truly fucked
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