Sleepyhead Who Loves Too Much

I was talking about Sherlock Holmes with my cool weird 42 year old coworker the other day and he said that he had read other works by ACD but not any Sherlock Holmes. ACD is smiling down from heaven on his one and only true fan.

My dad was a public defender when I was a child and he would have to drive all over the district to visit various defendants in various jails which I thought was very interesting and I liked to hear about his experiences in various jails and how different they all were. He drove me to school every day and sometimes I’d skip in and tell my classmates “My dad is going to the jail in [TOWN/CITY] today!” mind you, I went to public school in a not very nice little town so my teacher’s first thought wasn’t lawyer, she had other students with incarcerated parents. This was also occurring in the south where everyone is nosy as fuck so she eventually called my mother, presumably to scope out why her husband was a jail bird and if the chargers were relevant to me and my education in any way. My mom had to explain that my dad wasn’t an inmate who kept getting transferred and that going to jail is his job.

So your teacher called home because she wanted to know your personal business?????????????????

She worded it more like “Your child keeps telling his classmates that his father is going to jail, I wanted to touch bases and see if everything is alright at home.” you know, pretend concern for my social wellbeing. But I know she was just nosy and my mom picked up on that immediately.

I bet she went home every night and told her husband “We need to pray for one of my students, he definitely has some sort of undiagnosed something and his daddy is always in jail.”

Been getting really into orange juice lately

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

you know the generations cooked when we’re talking abt sheep wool and that turns into stockpiling sheep piss 🥀

you haven't truly lived until this post is the first thing you see when you wake up i had to leave and come back 10 minutes later