BLOG ARCHIVED / INACTIVE

Even more so then my interests changing, my opinions in fandom have changed and the way I want to interact with it has changed. When I made this blog, I was an angry teenager who had a tendency to react without thinking. Now, I’m a less angry (technically adult) teenager who is trying to do better because being angry and involved in discourse is not something that is good for my mental health nor is it something I’m proud to have done.

1.) Rey

Rey’s parents selling her for profit into slavery was portrayed as a good, loving thing. Child trafficking was literally portrayed as excusable, and even loving, in this children’s film. Just let that sink in for a second.

What is the message there? If your parents did something horrible that caused you years of trauma and torment, you should just not lose faith in them because they may have had a good reason (even if you have no evidence of that). Maybe a space wizard who has been dead for decades forced them to traffic you. This scene makes me want to vomit. This is how a children’s fairytale portrayed parents who sell their children into trafficking:

There is no excuse for this. Rey’s parentage was solved. Her identity crisis was over. This wasn’t needed except to force this abuse apologist message. Oh, and of course to feed the sexist fanboys a bit of eugenics to make them stop whining about how a woman could possibly be important and powerful.

TLJ was about Rey discovering her identity and letting go of her unhealthy, irrational dependency on parents who she never knew, who sold her to an abuser and left her to half-starve alone in a desert. TROS decided to give her a new identity crisis out of literally nowhere just so they could erase all that “You are not your parents, even if your parents don’t love you and/or aren’t special, you are still special and still deserving of love. You can find belonging ahead of you.” stuff with dynastic “Actually, your blood family does entirely define your identity and you should always assume they’re right even when all evidence points otherwise, just ignore your own trauma and blame it on a dead space wizard.”

The whole Rey Palpatine thing left a very bad taste in my mouth. Not just because it’s fucking stupid and something Reddit would write, but because Rey was horrible in TROS. She acted like she was possessed by Palpatine, she stabbed Ben (who she cares for and always had compassion for) to kill while he was distracted. She suddenly acted like she didn’t care about anyone around her. She just overall acted unrecognizable from the warm, loving, empathetic woman we saw in TFA and TLJ. The message here is clearly that because she has this “bad blood”, Rey can’t have an identity for herself. The only thing that saves her is taking on the identity of the good guys, she never finds her own. All the traits she’s had up until now don’t matter, who she actually is doesn’t matter. All that matters is what man’s blood runs through her veins. All Rey is is someone’s granddaughter, because if she wasn’t, then she’d really be nobody.

And thus, JJ Abrams decided that “Anyone can be special, even nobodies. Your worth is not defined by your class or your background.” was a stupid message and instead it should be pure eugenic “You’re only special if you have important people blood/name. Your identity is entirely your (male) family, not your own. No silly woman could have power of her own!”

Rey taking on the name of Skywalker is an utterly shallow attempt to fix the fact that they took every bit of Rey’s real identity from her, took half her soul (Ben is her dyad, two that are one), and then left her alone on a desert planet as if to say that her “true self” is the abused child she once was and that she can’t actually escape that. The moral of this fairytale was “You don’t need friends or love, as long as you have a glow stick (material possessions) and a super duper special name that makes you important (which you weren’t before, you were nobody).”

Not to mention that Rey basically named herself after Luke, no one else she knew actually used that name. And Luke didn’t do anything to deserve that, he rejected her at every single opportunity and only did the bare minimum to help her after being berated into it. Han was her surrogate father and the first person to offer her a life outside of Jakku. Leia was her loving mentor and pseudo-mother. Ben was the love of her life who has always been there for her when she needed someone to confide it, someone to see her true self and tell her she wasn’t alone. Luke was nothing but some cranky old guy who made her feel awful about herself and never accepted her (not to mention telling her she was inherently dangerous and also trying to murder her soulmate when he was a child which the real Rey was furious about).

2.) Finn

Finn’s character has not been given much in terms of development. For the most part, he’s been reduced to “Rey’s friend” and then “Finn’s friend”, with a little moment in there where he got to be with Rose and have his own identity but TROS of course decided to reward racist bullies and cut out Rose instead of giving the rest of the fans a satisfying story.

In TROS though, the one thing that Finn actually did that was heroic by himself, his character defining moment of turning from The First Order, was credited to the force and described like it wasn’t a choice at all. Which brings up a lot of questions and, as Han would say, “That’s not how the force works!”. It was so entirely unneeded to take that from Finn, but they gave up all of Rose’s potential screentime to do it.

There’s also the moment when Poe, our alleged hero, so hilariously (i.e callously) compares himself being a criminal to Rey being a scavenger and Finn being a stormtrooper. Completely ignoring the fact that they had no choice in that, as if their trauma doesn’t matter at all. It’s a small moment, but it was very insensitive and highlights how much the writers Did Not Care or even understand their main characters’ experiences.

3.) Ben

I don’t even know where to start with Ben Solo. His ending was the one that broke me as a person, I had so many hysterical sobbing fits over it that my loved ones were actually getting tired of it and it genuinely put me in a really bad place with my depression that I’m only just not getting out of.

Ben Solo’s story in TFA and TLJ was abuse victim’s epic, it was the story of a boy who was tortured and groomed from the time he was in his mother’s womb. A man who never knew a life without abuse. Ben Solo was described as a pure beam of light in his mother’s womb who was ensnared and tainted by a predatory force bigger and stronger than himself that he could not escape.

The feeling of being tainted and corrupted is common in abuse victims, and the fact that TROS told every single abused child out there “Yes, you really are tainted and corrupted. You do deserve to die before experiencing more than a moment of happiness and safety.” is something that I’ve yet to get over. It still infuriates me, it still breaks my heart. Ben’s entire arc up until this point has been about how he is still worthy of love.

And no, this isn’t me woobifying; it’s in the text of the films and the canon novels that Ben worked for his redemption, that he earned it. Ben fought Snoke from the time he was a child, but Ben was only a child and Snoke was too powerful, too relentless in his cruelty for him to withstand. The one and only person in the entire galaxy who had the training and the knowledge to protect Ben was his uncle, who chose to try to murder him in his sleep instead of protecting him. Ben was left with nowhere to turn except to his abuser. And even then, we see him struggle every single day to try and force himself to be this evil person that he never was. Ben was light itself who was convinced he was darkness through abuse and manipulation.

Then, when Ben found the first person who he could feel and connect with through the force, even though Snoke and Luke had abused and betrayed him - Ben still took the chance to reach out to Rey and be vulnerable with her. While interrogating an enemy, he took off his mask and revealed himself (something we only see him to for his father and when Snoke forces him to maliciously). In the middle of a war, under the thumb of the monster who has tortured him since forever, Ben was able hold Rey’s hand and tell her she wasn’t alone. He was still able to be kind. And because of that kindness, that connection, Ben found the courage to finally destroy his abuser and free himself.

Ben freed himself, and he did it out of compassion for and a need to protect Rey, not out of wrath or vengeance. If Ben were truly a creature of wrath, he would have killed Snoke before, but it was only when he had to see and hear and feel his soulmate be tortured by his own abuser that he found that courage. And yes, he did take Snoke’s place at first because that was the only way he knew how to protect himself. In his experience, people without power get hurt and that’s it. But even then, Ben was able to muster yet more strength to shed the armor that was Kylo Ren and stand with Rey unarmored against the very thing that has abused and tortured him since before he was born.

That took so much bravery and love and selflessness for Ben to stand there as himself, ready to fight his abuse and trauma head-on as Ben Solo. For him to admit he was hurt for the first time in the series. For him to crawl up a cliff with a badly broken leg out of love. For him to willingly give his very life force out of pure love. All of these things are incredible for Ben to have been able to do after all he had been through, these are more than deserving of reward. But TROS punished Ben for doing everything right, they proved that abusers always win in the end. Ben was going to survive until the last few edits. Everything we see was literally leading up to him surviving. This was Ben’s redemption, this was supposed to be him fighting for his new beginning and taking his first steps into the happiness and safety he earned, and should have had as a child, not a pointless struggle before succumbing to death:

What baffles me the most is people that accuse enemies-to-lovers of being inherently abusive or abusive when there’s any actual conflict (like, you know, stories have) beyond something boring that no one would write like they stepped on each other’s toes in a movie theater. This extreme purity police attitude shows a lack of any understanding about storytelling and what like...fiction is. But diving even deeper into this claim, enemies-to-lovers is in dynamically the exact opposite of an abusive relationship, and that in of itself is a large part of its appeal for a lot of people. No intimate abuser will announce themselves as your sworn enemy, they will present themselves as everything you have ever wanted and the most perfect partner you could imagine. Instalove, the exact opposite of enemies-to-lovers, is actually the trope that resembles love bombing aka how most abusive relationships start. One of the reasons enemies-to-lovers can be so appealing, especially to women and people who have been in toxic relationships, is because when the enemy becomes your lover - you know they mean it. You know how they behave with their enemies, you know the darkest part of them and you don’t need to worry about what is lurking beneath the surface because you’ve already seen it and battled it and gotten past it.

As far as being misogynistic, enemies-to-lovers is literally a power fantasy for the female gaze. It’s the idea of someone who once opposed you being so enamored by you in your most unfiltered, non-seductive form that they listen to you, see things from your perspective, and ultimately align their strength with yours. Women are told that we need to make ourselves small and inoffensive and perfect to attract men or anyone or anything positive, so of course the idea that someone could become deeply enamored, almost against their will, with you when you are actively fighting them, arguing with them, challenging them etc. that those qualities, that being opinionated and angry and passionate and strong, could be the very thing that attracts them to you is a subversion of that idea. And enemies are equals, for a woman to be considered a worthy adversary to a man (and not by becoming a man to him or a sexual “temptress”) means the woman is being respected as his equal. This is a dynamic entirely based on equality, it relies on both characters being of equal strength, much more so than most romance tropes.

This is not exclusive to the female gaze though, in general it’s a fantasy that many can appreciate. Everyone has insecurities and bad moods, and intimacy is difficult for everyone (to varying degrees). In an enemies-to-lovers ship, the lovers have already seen each other in their most unromantic state. They have seen each other screaming with the rage of battle, have seen each other’s scorn and sneer, have seen each other so intimately that once they enter “lovers” and even “to”, there is nothing new to discover except the good parts. Imagine if you could get into a relationship where you don’t have to worry about what your partner’s hiding or if they will reject you because you always know the worst of each other, have already accepted it, and now get to fall in love discovering only the good parts. It creates a very intimate and intense dynamic.

On the other hand, there’s the appeal from the perceptive of the antagonist. Some people prefer to identify their trauma or pain or insecurities with antagonists rather than protagonists because they don’t see that part of themselves as the hero and/or they don’t want to have to hold that part of themselves up to some pristine standard. Some people want to see the dark part of themselves go full dark and then be loved anyways. The idea that you can always change for the better, that you are always worthy of love no matter how damaged you think you are. The idea that someone bright and good could see the most angry, hurt, ugly part of you and still love you. That is a very hopeful and positive message to a lot of people. I will never understand these types of people’s hateful opposition to redemption and healing, because I truly think that’s one of the most beautiful and powerful messages a story can have when it’s done right. The obsession some people have with punishment and condemnation simply is not healthy or productive.

In the books, Sansa is observant enough to (correctly) identify Jon’s distaste of Joffrey as jealousy and expresses genuine compassion for him.

In the show, Sansa apologizes to Jon as part of her “Sansa Unnecessarily Apologizing To Men” Train, but we never actually saw her being “awful” to him. Not once.