chasing pavements

{ @fmdhanli! }

setting: sometime in 2015.

a dreamer beneath the stars on an empty rooftop was cliche. two dreamers beneath the stars was even more so. but hyunmi relished alone time with hanli; wherever it was, cliche or not, it was sacred. on that particular night, the breeze was colder than expected. late spring afternoons waved adieu in marigold sunsets, and evenings said gutentag in slate skies clear enough to stargaze. there were no clouds, the atmosphere having wept a few twilights ago. but the wind danced by in silky swirls ( like a rhythmic gymnast with a ribbon as her apparatus ), an alerting cold front ushering hyunmi to cuddle hanli tighter, ballet-crafted arms going around the younger’s waist as they sat, weights of their backs flushed on the diamond-wired fence overlooking the lively city after an exhausting day.

“can you believe we’ll be the biggest girl group someday?” hyunmi’s voice broke the comfort, the serenity, the quietude. she was never a fan of silence, finding them awkward, but with hanli, silence was peace; they spoke in lingering touches and gentle breathing, subtle and all-knowing glances, secretive smiles reserved for the other. their language was their own, and nobody else. her cheek rested on hanli’s shoulder, finding comfort, finding completion as she stared at her stretched legs, shorter than her counterpart’s. the obvious difference was adorable ( we were around the same height when we met, too ). 

“and you’ll be the newest IT girl. bye-bye, bae suzy.” there was cheery laughter brimming with endless possibilities and similar privy conversations when it was just them, sharing wishes and promising illusions. it never grew old, bonding with hanli, speaking about everything ( bits of their childhood, pieces of their past ) and nothing at all ( superhero movies and bucky barnes deserving the world ). with hanli, hyunmi could talk for ages and could offer her ears and listen for twice as much.

happiness still remained a foreign concept to hanli; it was as new to her as the korean syllables on her tongue, as unfamiliar as the taste of kimchi and ddukbokki and as uncertain as her future in a whole new country. but she knew that there was one thing for sure. . . chae hyunmi made her happy. even sitting in silence, underneath the cold starless sky, she was happy. she knew it from the way her skin bubbled with warmth upon feeling hyunmi’s touch on her waist, the way her heart leapt in her chest, the way her lips couldn’t help but curl up into a smile, the way she wanted to capture this fleeting moment and replay it again and again in the back of her mind, to memorize it like the back of her hand.   

she hadn’t felt anything like this before. 

back in taiwan, friendship had always remained an imaginary concept, this faraway fantasy that never took shape in reality. but now, looking at hyunmi and her laughter and remembering all the days they’d spent attempting to reach the high note together, holding each other’s hands during another gruelling and intense trainee evaluation, watching as hanli outgrew the older, hanli realized that dreams could come true, even when awake. she reached for hyumi’s hand, taking it into hers and intertwining their fingers, smiling dreamily as she painted hyunmi’s words into images - loud cheers for them on stage, hyunmi basking in the glory of the spotlight with her dancing, winning accolades and awards and the fame and the fortune with her best friend giving her that beautiful bright smile that could rival the lights of seoul on a stage with confetti and fireworks and flashes from cameras. 

“all of korea will know our name,” hanli added, letting out a soft sigh. “you’ll be the best dancer anyone has ever seen. they’ll all fall in love with you.” (but not as much as i love you, hanli wanted to add.) in fact, there were a lot of things that hanli wanted to tell hyunmi - the words burning at her throat, dying to escape. 

i can’t imagine my life without you. 

please don’t ever leave me. 

i’ve never met anyone like you.

but there was three words, in particular that had been lying restlessly on the tip of the girl’s lips for two full years, only to be stopped by her fear. she glanced at hyunmi, catching the older girl’s eyes in process, hoping that she’d be able to understand what hanli would never dare say aloud. 

Diets were the bane of every idols’ existence. No one liked to be on them. In fact, she’d bet her entire career that most if not all idols would have preferred not to diet. She knew that a lot of them were health nuts who enjoyed working out quite a bit, which was fine, but having their food intake monitored by their managers wasn’t something anyone enjoyed. Personally, it made Jisoo feel like a little kid. She was almost twenty five years old and she had people trying to tell her what she could and couldn’t eat. That was a big part of the reason why she stopped caring and started eating whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. 

“Hanli,” she greeted, coming up behind the younger idol. “You want to grab lunch with me?” She asked, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “I’m starving, I haven’t eaten all day and I feel like my stomach is going to cave in on itself.” That might have been a bit of an over exaggeration, but she was sure her point came across clear enough. “I’m in the mood for some chicken, what do you say?” The girl had just recently debuted and she wanted the opportunity to get to know her better. She had met her while she was a trainee and they hadn’t had the chance to spend too much time with each other.

hanli hadn’t expected anyone to come up to her, much less someone she respected and admired greatly. honestly, it still came as a shock to her that jisoo knew her name and existence; she’d always viewed bee as untouchable stars in the bright sky, whereas she was just a barely-glowing spark, still trying to make herself visible. and despite the calm exterior that she put on, hanli could feel her face flush slightly, embarrassed that she was caught in a situation where she was vulnerable and weak and she quickly turned off her phone, hoping that jisoo hadn’t caught sight of the photos that she’d been looking at. that would’ve been pathetic beyond belief. 

jaewon wasn’t always running circles around the dimensions building and unity’s dorm, sometimes, for some variation, his management sent him to rush around other companies too! okay, perhaps that had been a little more dramatic sounding than it really was, in reality jaewon had found himself at the bc building with his manager hyung for a little chat about possible future collaborations. truly, the meeting had been rather useless but luckily it did give him an excuse to see some of his friends at bc and so he had sent his hyung off with the promise to be back at the dorm on time for schedule.

by the time he found himself back in front of the building again, he was faced with a heavy rainstorm. he nodded friendly towards the girl who was standing a little further to his right (wasn’t she in wish? she sure looked like one of the girls) before pulling out his umbrella.

his initial plan had been to mind his own business and get back to the dorm but as he wanted to leave he couldn’t help but throw another worrisome look to the right before sighing deeply and making his way over to the younger girl. “you look like you could use a hand, or rather an umbrella. should i walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, just a tad less enthusiastic than he was ought to. “hanli right? you’re in wish aren’t you?” jaewon asked in attempt to strike a conversation.

the first feeling that swept over hanli, upon realizing the recognizable face standing in front of her was embarrassment. face reddening, she gave a hurried bow, nodding in response to his second question. to be honest, she could count, with one hand, the number of times she’d spoken to jaewon, aside from polite bows and greetings during music shows. and he’d seemed rather hesitant and uncomfortable approaching her, from what she’d sensed from his tone of voice. the idea of being indebted to someone who was virtually a stranger didn’t seem rather appealing to hanli and so, she gave what she hoped seemed like a polite smile. 

but oh my god. she threw a glance at the storm that didn’t seem to be dying down and took a deep breath as she did a quick analysis of the situation. if she did take up on jaewon’s offer, she’d be able to get to her place safely, or at least, with minimal damage but then, she’d have to endure through awkward small talk. fuck. there was nothing that hanli dreaded more than holding up uncomfortably trivial conversations. but if she didn’t, she’d have to dive into the storm, ruining her hair and makeup and outfit and possibly earning the wrath of her hairstylist, stylist and the sponsors of her clothing. fuck. 

[ 📱→ ??? ] please tell me i’m hallucinating

[ hanli  → do taeho (charm) ] did you mean for it to happen? 

[ hanli  → do taeho (charm) ] um also